Lying to family - advice?

hopefulsprout · December 2013

We're planning a FET in January, but have decided no one we know will know about it, including family. Telling everyone about our first IVF cycle, ET, and subsequent failure was rough on both of us. Has anyone else had experience with hiding a second try? We spend a couple of nights around Christmas at both sets of parents houses and I'll need to take injections during that time. I'm comfortable with lying about what they're for (how spirited of me! ha ha), but I'd need it to be believable. Since everyone knows our fresh transfer failed, I was thinking maybe my Lupron shots could be "vitamin shots to help me feel better"? Is that ridiculous and lame? I'm a terrible liar, maybe I should just try and hide the whole thing in a small cooler, as to not draw attention to it? Luckily, none of our parents are scientists or work in medicine ;-). Any advice would be appreciated!

Lady2010 · December 2013

hopefulsprout - I am so sorry you have to deal with this over the holidays - each FET/IVF and the holidays can be stressful as it is!

Maybe you can tell them they are hormones to help you stabilize since your cycle has been off? Still a lie, but partly true since it is a hormone...?

GL!!

BRaven985 · December 2013

I have been hiding everything from my brother...from when we decided to try to IVF. First cause I wanted to surprise him....then I didn't want to break his heart if it never worked. I honestly would be more excited to tell him than anyone else. But so far I have managed with just disappearing when need be. And if questions came up I just said I was in the restroom and it was dropped

Though I did also have back up from my SIL (his wife) who knows all. But if that isn't possible then I agree with @Lady2010 and say you need to take hormones to stabilize...I would be surprised if they questioned that. Good luck!

RunCC37 · December 2013

I like the "hormone stabilizers" route, but only if needed. We haven't told anyone in our family that we've done two rounds of IVF except for my sister. Fortunately, she hosted Thanksgiving this year, so I was able to stash my meds in her fridge, no questions asked. When it came time to do my injections, I just excused myself as if I was going to the bathroom and did my thing. I was so nervous about getting questioned, and was totally planning to use this lie if necessary: "I was taking a poo." LOL You know what, you shouldn't be asking, so if you're being nosey, then be prepared for what you might hear in response!!! You could probably use a cooler and the #2 excuse too if you didn't want to explain the meds in the fridge. Good luck!

badrianne · December 2013

What if you wait for them to ask and if they do just say "it's IF stuff." And if they continue to ask you could say you don't want to think about it and just focus on the holiday. Then you wouldn't feel like you were lying. I don't know about your family but mine can't process all the meds/details and just saying it's IF stuff seems to work fine. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Mrs.McIrish · December 2013

After telling people for many cycles, we are not telling anyone for our cycle in a few weeks( with donor eggs). I couldn't lie before but I'm really good at it now. My advice is to hide your injections. I did lupron injections at my sisters house last weekend and will do it over Christmas. Do it in the bathroom, bring a plastic shopping bag for all your garbage. Bring ice packs if you need stuff to be refrigerated. Don't let them know you are doing injections at all and you won't need to make up what they are for. They probably won't believe you if they know you are injecting. A lot of meds can be room temperature once pierced so double check whether you truly even need ice packs etc.

LSN8308 · December 2013

100% agree with @Mrs.McIrish Good Luck!

hopefulsprout · December 2013

This is all good advice, ladies. You've given me a lot to think about. Thank you for sharing your experiences! I think I'll try the "hiding" route and see how it goes. Thanks again!

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