Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
ChristineBaker23
member
Re: My toddler refuses to put away toys! Help!
@hocus & @TiffanyBerry today she asked for a pb&j so I said she needed to put away the Legos first. I started to help her but she just kept playing. When I tried to repeat to her that she needs to put them away so she can have her pb&j she just got so distraught over the pb&j she lost all focus. I sat with her and tried to put them away again. No luck. So I gave her a time out (which was mostly for me-as I said this has become a very frustrating battle for us). I came back and tried to work on putting them away again and she ignored me and then just flat told me that I needed to put them away for her (she's pretty bright for a 2 yr old and knows how to be sneaky and get her way) I stood my ground and told her no pb&j and took her sandwich and put it in the kitchen. (I had it sitting where she could see it, sometimes that motivates her). Then, I sent her to her nap and told her we would try again when nap time is over.
@TiffanyBerry I have tried 1,2,3, 5 and 6 with no luck in the past. I will try to be more mindful of how much time we spend on the task as you mentioned in 4. She manages to drag it out to the point that we're both just pissed off at each other lol. Which is never good with a toddler!
Thanks for the tips! Keep me coming! I want to have a good game plan for when she wakes up from nap time. Also, any critiques for our pb&j vs. Legos battle and how I handled it?
On Friday, I was at my son's preschool because they had their holiday concert. They begin the morning playing with toys. At a certain point, the teacher gave them a warning that "soon it's going to be time to clean up everyone." A couple minutes later she stated "Okay, 8 seconds till clean up!" And then she started counting to 8. All the kids stopped what they were doing, counted with her, and then she rang a bell. I don't know about the other kids, but I was watching my son who started singing "clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere..." as he took the wagon he was skateboarding around the room with and put it away.
This weekend, I made toast, and I noticed that every time the toaster went off (ding!) he'd start singing the clean up song. He obviously associated it with the bell in preschool.
I think the idea about making it a game in itself (the countdown, bell, and song) might really work. Along with a warning that it was coming so they can prepare themselves a little.
We put away toys twice a day. Once before naptime, and once before bedtime. We go through the whole house and collect toys together. I tell her "time to clean up" and then I grab a basket and tell her to help me put things in the basket. If she doesn't do it, I take her hands, grab a toy, and place them in the basket. Gently always, and telling her that its important to clean up after ourselves. If she has a fit, we take deep breaths and count to ten, and then I explain that we need to clean up so we won't have a messy home. I tell her that her toys are safe in their special homes. By this point she understands and is ready to help. I encourage her and tell her she's my "big girl helper" and give her lots of attention and praise for being a good helper. It makes her feel good.
When my husband is doing clean up with her they play a game. They "race" to see who can pick up the most toys the fastest. Or they pretend to be dinosaurs while they clean up, or whatever. Sometimes they play "blast off" and my husband counts down like a rocket about to take off, and then when he says "blast off" they run around the room putting up toys as fast as they can.
Its not always perfect. She doesn't always put everything exactly where its supposed to go. Most of the time if things aren't perfect in her room I at least make sure everything is out of the living room before bed. Usually she does really well though because she likes thinking she's a big girl. We really stress that big girls help out mommy and daddy at home.
My mobile isn't letting me quote right now sorry. I never take away a meal from my daughter. I agree that that is not a good punishment. The pb&j was a treat. She sometimes has a quarter of one like desert. My daughter is very motivated by food, the girl can eat. So, I do use treat like snacks as a reward. Put away Legos, get peanut butter jelly. If you look at my post she requested the pb&j and I said she could have it if she put her Legos away. When she didn't put the Legos away she didn't get what she wanted. I thank you for your concern but I do not think that offering food as a reward for good behavior could be detrimental to my child's psyche.
As an update, after her nap she decided she still wanted her pb&j so she asked me to help her with her toys. It was painful, and took almost 15 minutes just to do the small pile of Legos. But we got it done. It looks like after nap time is a good time for her to clean up, she is well rested and wants to get out of her room, I can use that as motivation for her to put something away. Thanks for all the thoughts guys! I will definitely put some of those to use!
I hope you will reconsider your position.
Cheetos? Really? They are full of really horrible things. And you do know that jelly is mostly sugar or high fructose corn syrup and not much else right? It might have once been fruit but it has zero nutritional value. If you are going to reward with food I'd suggest ones that aren't going to cause childhood obesity or diabetes.
Kids don't need a treat for doing chores. Period. Chores are a part of life. When she eventually goes to work at a real job her boss isn't going to be handing her a cookie every time she completes a task. This is a set up for a bad situation.
Don't give up trying, and in the moment, don't give up on the task. You say you did the "6) if she gets up to play with something else, I pick her up and put her back to task. no yelling, and repeatedly if necessary." in the past without any luck. But that's the thing, the success of this method doesn't depend on your kid, it depends on YOU have the patience to redirect them back to the task at hand. Even if you have to redirect them 50 times, and it takes an hour. Yes, I'm not kidding. If you let her successfully turn away from the task, you have just taught her that she just has to be more persistent than you. So I would HIGHLY encourage you to try again, but don't give up - though you will almost certainly get frustrated - don't give up until you have completed the small, concrete, well-defined task.
You would also turn and run.
That's what a friend pointed out to me and I realized why my daughter wanted to run at the end of the day
What I did. I cleaned up the toys and put them in closed containers and since she couldn't read what I had written on the outside she didn't run to all at once.
Then we bought her a kitchen (there are tons to choose from https://amzn.to/1kLr6Ct ). Don't buy tons of food and utensils - 2 dishes are enough - a few pieces of "food" (you can buy more but don't take it all out yet). A kitchen lends to putting things away naturally (unless you're a slob in your own kitchen
Don't overwhelm her with toys. She'll clean her kitchen before you pull out ONE of your hidden toys
Just recently (at about 2 1/2) she has begun cleaning up independently, about once or twice a day I'll find her putting away something she is playing with. My best advice is pick a direction that works for you both and stick with it.