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stole my thunder

crystalmir91385crystalmir91385 member
in May 2014 Moms
A family member just announced she's expecting twins in June. While I'm happy for her, I'm also kinda bummed. Noone else in the family is ready for a baby yet, so I was kinda excited about having the only one (at least thru next year). Not to mention they just had a girl last June. Couldn't they wait a little longer?

I know I'm being silly about this, but I can't help it.

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Re: stole my thunder

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  • talkthewholetimetalkthewholetime member
    Did you announce yet? If you announced first, I believe technically you stole *her* thunder.

    If I'm up on how thunder-stealing works.

    That sucks, but at least you'll be first. Every baby should be a celebration :) Try not to let it bug you too much.
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  • alyssajanell5alyssajanell5 member
    Think on the bright side, your kiddo will have a buddy around the same age!
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  • alphalyraealphalyrae member
    I'm personally thrilled for a fellow family member who is expecting. We both TTCed for quite a while. I think it's really selfish to feel like they stole your thunder. It's a baby. Everyone loves babys. Your single baby will not be neglected for her double order of baby.
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  • talkthewholetimetalkthewholetime member
    I'd love for there to be another baby in my family, and another set of new parents. I think DH and I are going to be very lonely for a while.
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  • RedInLoveRedInLove member
    I think stealing someone's thunder would be more like her announcing her pregnancy at your baby shower. I wish you both healthy pregnancies and babies.




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  • ykristosykristos member
    You can help it. And you should put these on
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    I'm sorry you're feeling this way, but be happy for your kid. He or she will have playmates around the same age, which I'm sure is more important to the LO than whether you get all attention (not that there's an unlimited amount, anyway). 


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    Baby boy arriving late Spring '14
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  • crystalmir91385crystalmir91385 member
    Nothing is wrong with it, if you can handle/afford it. I thought it rude to go into personal details. 
    I am coming to understand why some people don't feel like a part of the "community" around here. Especially when they were one of the first people around here. Not saying you have to agree or anything, but thanks for the love.

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  • hoot179hoot179 member
    There are many possitives to this - possible cousins close in age are always fun! Also, after a few weeks of people visiting and fussing over the baby, you'll be ready for them to get the F out. I bet you'll welcome the distraction by then!
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  • crystalmir91385crystalmir91385 member
    hoot179 said:
    There are many possitives to this - possible cousins close in age are always fun! Also, after a few weeks of people visiting and fussing over the baby, you'll be ready for them to get the F out. I bet you'll welcome the distraction by then!
    Lol. I didn't think about that. Knowing that side of the family, I will want them out of my hair for a bit.

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  • deanna1313deanna1313 member
    Don't feel bad. It's tough some times when there are people competing in families. Sometimes it's nice to be the one getting some special treatment and attention for once( not that you were asking for it) and then twins for sure will override that.
    Try to think of the glass as half full. My baby won't have any cousins or even second cousins close in age with him or her and I bummed about that. At least they can grow up together. My family and cousins are some if the people I'm closest with.
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  • momthatliftsmomthatlifts member
    I was expecting something way worse. I even read it twice to see if I missed something. So you think she stole your thunder because she is pregnant too? And announced it? Ooook I don't see the thunder stealing in that, but whatever

    It's a BOY










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  • crystalmir91385crystalmir91385 member
    edited December 2013
    deanna1313 said:
    Don't feel bad. It's tough some times when there are people competing in families. Sometimes it's nice to be the one getting some special treatment and attention for once( not that you were asking for it) and then twins for sure will override that. Try to think of the glass as half full. My baby won't have any cousins or even second cousins close in age with him or her and I bummed about that. At least they can grow up together. My family and cousins are some if the people I'm closest with.
    Thanks for the boost! DHs family, is unbelievably competitive. I can't even begin to describe it. DH hates the dynamic so much that we rarely visit with most of them. Significant achievements are frequently brushed off. I was enjoying the spotlight, since it was a rare occurance. 

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  • yvanehtniojyvanehtnioj member

    crystalmir91385 said:
    deanna1313 said:
    Don't feel bad. It's tough some times when there are people competing in families. Sometimes it's nice to be the one getting some special treatment and attention for once( not that you were asking for it) and then twins for sure will override that. Try to think of the glass as half full. My baby won't have any cousins or even second cousins close in age with him or her and I bummed about that. At least they can grow up together. My family and cousins are some if the people I'm closest with.
    Thanks for the boost! DHs family, is unbelievably competitive. I can't even begin to describe it. DH hates the dynamic so much that we rarely visit with most of them. Significant achievements are frequently brushed off. I was enjoying the spotlight, since it was a rare occasion. 
    image
    There's ya problem!

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    H e n r y  May 21, 2014

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  • Kate070Kate070 member
    Two thoughts...

    One, I don't know if the twins are in your family or your DH's, but your baby will still be the only one for awhile on the other side, right?

    And, hope this is reassuring...

    I have cousins who were born one month apart (May and June, as it happens) and they grew up absolute best friends.  It's pretty cute.
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  • crystalmir91385crystalmir91385 member
    yvanehtnioj said:

    crystalmir91385 said:
    deanna1313 said:
    Don't feel bad. It's tough some times when there are people competing in families. Sometimes it's nice to be the one getting some special treatment and attention for once( not that you were asking for it) and then twins for sure will override that. Try to think of the glass as half full. My baby won't have any cousins or even second cousins close in age with him or her and I bummed about that. At least they can grow up together. My family and cousins are some if the people I'm closest with.
    Thanks for the boost! DHs family, is unbelievably competitive. I can't even begin to describe it. DH hates the dynamic so much that we rarely visit with most of them. Significant achievements are frequently brushed off. I was enjoying the spotlight, since it was a rare occasion. 
    image
    There's ya problem!
    There's nothing wrong with enjoying it. You can't honestly tell me that you aren't. Yes I realize that it's her turn, and like I said, I AM happy for her. In my family it's just nice to get it once in a while. It RARELY happens. For example, when I told my mom I was getting married, she said "to who?" "Umm...to the guy I've been dating for a few years." "Oh." End of conversation. Forgive me for enjoying some attention for once. I must be a terrible person.

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  • yvanehtniojyvanehtnioj member
    crystalmir91385 said:
    yvanehtnioj said:

    crystalmir91385 said:
    deanna1313 said:
    Don't feel bad. It's tough some times when there are people competing in families. Sometimes it's nice to be the one getting some special treatment and attention for once( not that you were asking for it) and then twins for sure will override that. Try to think of the glass as half full. My baby won't have any cousins or even second cousins close in age with him or her and I bummed about that. At least they can grow up together. My family and cousins are some if the people I'm closest with.
    Thanks for the boost! DHs family, is unbelievably competitive. I can't even begin to describe it. DH hates the dynamic so much that we rarely visit with most of them. Significant achievements are frequently brushed off. I was enjoying the spotlight, since it was a rare occasion. 
    image
    There's ya problem!
    There's nothing wrong with enjoying it. You can't honestly tell me that you aren't. Yes I realize that it's her turn, and like I said, I AM happy for her. In my family it's just nice to get it once in a while. It RARELY happens. For example, when I told my mom I was getting married, she said "to who?" "Umm...to the guy I've been dating for a few years." "Oh." End of conversation. Forgive me for enjoying some attention for once. I must be a terrible person.
    I don't think you're a horrible person! I was just making a joke. The illusory nature of the spotlight makes it an unreliable thing to enjoy. And for the record, I don't enjoy being in the spotlight, although I am glad that our baby will be the first grandchild. I was the first grandchild and it rocked.

    imageimageimage
    H e n r y  May 21, 2014

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  • jfletcher3113jfletcher3113 member
    Just try to think of the positives. I would also be stoked with another family member being pregnant.

    It sounds like you're also a little competitive, otherwise this wouldn't bother you at all. (Which I totally get, I've had my diva moments too, trust me). And, if you rarely visit them anyway, there's another reason not to care!  

    You acknowledged you know your feelings are a little ridiculous and that what this board is here for to some extent- to vent even if it prompts a few eye rolls and "are you kidding me?!" responses. Don't get too offended by people's comments. You were the first to say you know it's silly, we're just agreeing. 


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  • crystalmir91385crystalmir91385 member
    Kate070 said:
    Two thoughts...

    One, I don't know if the twins are in your family or your DH's, but your baby will still be the only one for awhile on the other side, right?

    And, hope this is reassuring...

    I have cousins who were born one month apart (May and June, as it happens) and they grew up absolute best friends.  It's pretty cute.
    Hopefully so...tho there is a VERY wild teenager on that side of the family. My Grandmother was even saying that we better hurry if we were going to have a kid before her.  :-?

    The twins are on DH's side. And I'd like the idea of them growing up together, but DH isn't overly fond of his extended family. I guess we'll wait and see.

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  • 83edwards83edwards member
    Eh, you can totes help it.....

    What is it with people getting all butthurt when others don't just lie to them and say what they want to hear?

    Geez
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  • ykristosykristos member
    crystalmir91385 -- are you being shunned and left attention-less because of their pregnancy announcement? Of course there's nothing wrong with enjoying feeling special here and there, and pregnancy is exciting, but it seemed like (from your original posting) you're missing the bigger picture. It sounds like your family isn't the best place for you to seek that type of validation (judging by your mom's response to your engagement), and I sincerely hope you have other places to get it (friends, your H's family, colleagues, etc) because you're right, it can be fun. Again, your OP sounded like you were stamping your feet and pouting because you had to share the spotlight -- that's an odd reaction for a grown woman, and people responded to that. It sounds like there's much more history that is influencing how you feel, and it'd probably be helpful for you to parse through that. 


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  • MrsCaddyshackMrsCaddyshack member
    Do they live close? If so, think of all the awesome play dates!
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  • dragossoul84dragossoul84 member
    I don't know how much longer you wanted her to wait? I think you're being selfish. I'm not sure you meant wait to announce or wait to have another but if its the latter you're way out of line. Its great your child will have playmates close in age. I have over a dozen cousins and I loved growing up with them we had so much fun trick or treating having sleep overs it was great!
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  • TkburkeTkburke member
    I come from a big family and have a lot of cousins, pretty close in age. I have to say those cousins are some of my very best friends. I feel like with them I got the chance to be a big sister to them, not just my one sister. I hope your baby and the cousins grow such a close bond!! Cousins are so special!!
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  • TheBeeCharmerTheBeeCharmer member
    My kids have zero cousins. They probably never will. I was so close with my cousins growing up, I'd love for them to have some. So at least there's that!





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  • crystalmir91385crystalmir91385 member
    TheBeeCharmer said:
    My kids have zero cousins. They probably never will. I was so close with my cousins growing up, I'd love for them to have some. So at least there's that!
    None on either side? I wasn't very close with many of mine (huge age gap), but I couldn't imagine none at all.  :(

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  • TheBeeCharmerTheBeeCharmer member
    Nope. They have a couple third cousins they've met once, but neither mine or my husbands sisters want kids. :(





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  • TigersFan12TigersFan12 member
    My sister-in-law is due with her third three weeks before I'm due with our first. We announced to DH's family early on because they were in town visiting, and they announced three days later. We couldn't be more excited! We were hoping they would have another soon so our babies could be close in age. The thought of our "thunder" being stolen never crossed my mind for a second.
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  • sheriotsheriot member
    I WISH my baby was going to have cousins close to her age.

    I, too, hate the "spotlight." Especially now when I'm large enough to require a Batman-sized spotlight. "Thanks for the congrats, everyone can hold her when she's here, no please don't pat my tummy, so sweet you're excited too, move along, nothing to see here." That's me.

    I am sure your baby will have loads of attention and you'll appreciate the playmates. I am also sure I've put my foot in my mouth about 2500 times since I've been pregnant. We all fuck up wording sometimes. I'm gonna believe that you posted this in an Emo Mommy Moment...I agree with pp's, though...it sounds like you may want to take some time and look at why you felt like this.

    Congrats on your healthy baby :)
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  • Tifers777Tifers777 member
    Girl I'm going through the same thing with my bitch of a stepsister. She purposely got pregnant again because of course she can never be left out. She's due 8 weeks after me and I'm livid. And this is our first baby and her second. Believe me I want to cut her for doing it.
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