Can we do a holiday vent thread?

Into+the+Kitty · December 2013

Because I've got about twenty things I want to get off my own chest. Anyone game?

Unknown · December 2013

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CLLDLL · December 2013

OMG, you don't want to hear mine. I have a super crazy MIL. Super. Like we could be on Dr. Phill. In fact she almost was on Dr. Phill, but backed out at the last minute. Ugh.

PipSqueak0313 · December 2013

I get along great with my mom, but ever since she made the comments about how I need to break ds of the habit of nursing and being held to sleep (he's asleep in the pack N play as I type this from a different room btw) I have to say, I'm not looking forward to her visit at Christmas -- add on the fact that my dad will be here too and Mom and Dad only get along as long as there is at least a state between them (they're still married).

Roxie5739 · December 2013

DH cannot get excited about Xmas and he and his family don't know how to give gifts. Sounds odd but him Mom always returns or regifts things she gets so DH is so burnt out by that he does now how to give. I am a giver, not a great receiver. I had to buy LO some small gifts this year as DH said it was a waste....he is only 6 months....BUT it is his first Xmas!!!!! This year we are spending Xmas with my family so at least it is the big gift giving/opening moment. Love it! Sadly they are all in Australia so not looking forward to the actual flight on Monday.... 16 hours and a 6 month old.... :-S

freezorburn · December 2013

Give me time.... things gotta simmer a little before I can vent.

Cindergurl · December 2013

Dh and I both hate Christmas and this year we have not one, not two, not even three, but NINE Christmas parties to go to! And that is not even all of the ones we are invited to

we sure do not have the money for this. Dd isn't even getting presents from us this year.

Into+the+Kitty · December 2013

My ILs are such terrible people and I hate them so much. I hate that they can't be normal human beings that we can feel safe being around or having our child around, and I hate the pain that. I see my husband deal with over the fact that his parents are psychotic. They think that I, with my evil, temptress ways, am the reason that we refuse to have contact with them and don't realize that even if I pushed my husband to contact them he wouldn't do it because he hates them and recognizes their abuse for what it is. I saw something horrendous on my MILs Facebook that makes me want to actually contact her to spell out what a terrible human being she is, but obviously I won't, because unlike her I actually have sympathy for people. It would be nice, though. 'Dear PILs, just wanted to let you know that your son is a wonderful father, husband, and human being in spite of you, not because of you. I thank god every day that he isn't the weak human being you think you raised, and that he has the strength to shield his family from your abuse. Happy holidays, I hope you choke on a candy cane. ITK'

Into+the+Kitty · December 2013

Chickypoo2468 said:

I don't like when people get my kids that say "baby's first Christmas" on them. That's my job.

And this! Or, for vent number two... Don't try to buy my kid a special holiday outfit without asking me. At Thanksgiving BSC aunt gave us a ton of presents for A to take for Christmas (of which 75% was inappropriate and will be donated) and let me know that the one package was a special set of PJs for Christmas Eve. I let her know that her PJs were already taken care of, and that I'm sure A would appreciate wearing them at some other point. She pulls this every year, and also bought a PJ set for 'Baby's first Christmas'.... Yeah, I hope that after I immediately donated them that another mother was able to buy and appreciate them for her baby's first Christmas.

(This aunt made no secret while I was growing up of hating my mom, and tried regularly to act like our mother. I really can't stand her. She also once told my at the time very young sister that my parents were getting a divorce when they weren't even close to it. Bitch.)

CLLDLL · December 2013

Ok, now you got me thinking about it. So I feel the need to give some highlights.

-DH's family all make x-mas lists for each other. As in "I want x from m sis, y from my mom, z from my brother. They all just take the list an go buy. No creativity. No surprises. Nothing.

-This year MIL asked for a list for the boys. We gave her three perfectly good ideas for each boy. They were things that the boys either specifically asked for or things they need. She called last night to tell us she didn't think they were good ideas so she picked out her own presents for them. Great, so creativity, who hoo! Then she sent pics of what she got. Two of D's things are WAY to young for him. Two of G's things are things he already has. Which she would know if she ever visited our house. Or spent any time with her Grandkids. At all.

- Which brings me to this gem. She refuses to visit the boys at our house because she's "too busy." She has a part time job that's like 15 hours a week. That's it. We both work full time and have the boy's activities to go to. But she expects us to take time to bring the boys to her house. We do it about once every couple months because we want our kids to have a relationship with their grandma, but I hate every minute of it.

- Speaking of visiting her. She has 12 dogs, 2 cats, and 5 birds. All in a 2000 square foot house. D is allergic to dogs. So I have to dope him up with allergy meds every time we visit or he becomes a stuffed up, sneezing mess. Which is another reason I hate visiting her.

- She is married to a horrible, rude, abusive man. The only reason she stays with him is that he's rich. She doesn't want to loose the right to spend his money.

- She thinks love = spending money on people. Every year we have to warn her that if she gets the boys more than 3 Christmas presents we won't let them have them. One year she tried to "trick" us by getting D a Wii with a case, 5 games, a Mario cart wheel, and a Wii Fit and putting it all into one box, so she could call it one present. Yeah. Wonderful. I really want my kid growing up thinking he should get all that as one present.

- And my personal favorite. DH's brother and his ex girlfriend are drug addicts. Have been for years. They've lost custody of their kids three or four times now. The ex actually lives in another state with the kids. MIL gets to talk with them on the phone a few times a month. Apparently the last time she talked with them, she told them that she thought they should tell their mom they want to live with her (MIL). The kids said no and promptly told their mom what she said. Now the ex girlfriend is refusing to let the kids talk to MIL. They still speak with my SIL's kids. MIL actually told my niece (SIL's daughter) that she should get her cousins on the phone & then let MIL talk to them. My niece refused to do that. MIL actually told my 13 year old niece that she is worthless, and no longer part of her family because she refused to do that.

farmrose · December 2013

I have to be in the same room as my MIL, twice. I don't have the energy to go into detail. Just imagine bipolar, nosey, psychotic, complainy, ungrateful MIL things and you'll be pretty close. Prayer, lots of it because I'm KU so no wine

.

Edit: three times, not just twice-super sad face

Mandmeesh · December 2013

oh my goodness. I need some coffee after reading these! ~O)

Mandmeesh · December 2013

My mother is the ultimate victim. She used to tell us when we were little "I love you guys, but I don't like you." She has since blamed her children for not helping her (with a million various things) after she moved out of the state and basically abandoned her children.

Abandoned as in, my younger sister was away at college, my mom moved, and my sister did not have a home to come home to. WTF?!

A few years ago my mother forgot my birthday. I cried all night in the bathroom.

I hate the baby's first christmas from other people too. Except from my grandma (M's great grandma). She's the sweet little-old grandma that gives a dollar and tells us "go buy yourself something nice". Love her! She always gives us ornaments for Christmas and she got one of those "baby's first christmas" ornaments.

I am anticipating way too many presents for M this year. Which is a bummer because first, I don't want to teach him that Christmas is about a mountain of presents (@clldll, I LOVE the three gift idea!! maybe as M gets older and he realizes what's going on (like next year) we will start this) and it's also a bummer because I'm his mom! I want to spoil him if I want. But how can I do that if everyone else buys him crap that he doesn't need, will take up space in our house and could've been money spent on things that are NEEDED.

zaraceligon · December 2013

I'm speechless, all of you have a very stressful life on holidays. I'm always complaining that I don't have any family to celebrate any holidays or birthday,and always trying to avoid them. But my DH family are the only one who always,ask what we want for present,and what I want for my LO present. Beside I'm not to close to them because of the differents in cultures they are very respectful to me. Even sometimes I feel like a peace of furniture just sitting and listening to their conversation.

TJ1979 · December 2013

Bahaha @chickypoo2468. That's why I'm keeping my mouth shut over here. I may have a crazy FIL and SMIL, and a nonexistent mil. But at least they either mean well or just leave us alone. Hugs to you all.

zaraceligon · December 2013

No, I just surprise how holidays stress people a lot. I always taught holidays was a good chance to enjoy.

Mandmeesh · December 2013

zaraceligon said:

No, I just surprise how holidays stress people a lot. I always taught holidays was a good chance to enjoy.

That is what it should be. But somehow it's commercialized and metamorphosized into this insane gift-grabby holiday. It should be about getting together and seeing family you can't through the year. And, ILs are insane-o!

CLLDLL · December 2013

zaraceligon said:

No, I just surprise how holidays stress people a lot. I always taught holidays was a good chance to enjoy.

Thank you for the reminder. We really should use the holidays as a reason to show love for each other. Not pile on presents or worry about what we do or don't have.

CLLDLL · December 2013

Chickypoo2468 said:

Also, not a vent, but I just realized we will never have our own Christmas Eve traditions. And it makes me sad. MIL gets Christmas Eve, then Christmas Day is split between my family and FIL. I miss Christmas as a kid.

I'm sad for you. We have family all over, so most of our holidays are spent running from one place to another. I'm so glad we put our foot down on Christmas Eve/Christmas morning. We are always a our own house.

Maybe you could start traditions on the 23rd or the 26th?

Into+the+Kitty · December 2013

Well I just got an early Christmas gift... I got charged with a misdemeanor! Woohoo! Nothing like going to court the week before Christmas. Think Santa will have to return my presents for being naughty?

No seriously, I need some fucking booze right here.

TJ1979 · December 2013

MK, it's common to have a recurrence of PP bleeding for a lot of women, usually around 6 weeks. FX it's just that.

Into+the+Kitty · December 2013

TJ1979 said:

MK, it's common to have a recurrence of PP bleeding for a lot of women, usually around 6 weeks. FX it's just that.

I had some light bleeding aftter a few weeks, too.

CLLDLL · December 2013

Into+the+Kitty said:

TJ1979 said:

MK, it's common to have a recurrence of PP bleeding for a lot of women, usually around 6 weeks. FX it's just that.

I had some light bleeding aftter a few weeks, too.

Same here.

CLLDLL · December 2013

For you ITK

PipSqueak0313 · December 2013

CLLDLL said:

-This year MIL asked for a list for the boys. We gave her three perfectly good ideas for each boy. They were things that the boys either specifically asked for or things they need. She called last night to tell us she didn't think they were good ideas so she picked out her own presents for them. Great, so creativity, who hoo! Then she sent pics of what she got. Two of D's things are WAY to young for him. Two of G's things are things he already has. Which she would know if she ever visited our house. Or spent any time with her Grandkids. At all.

This reminded me of the year dd was about 8-9 years old and xh's "other mother" sent dd a dress up set that was sized for a toddler. The last Christmas we had any contact with her was the one that followed my divorce - she sent my then 16yo and 12yo toys that were designed for kindergartener aged kids. The kids would have been less hurt by a plain Christmas card.

Speaking of Christmas memories -- xh hated it; but the rest of us thought it was hilarious -- xh fell off the roof of our house in Nov 1995 when dd was 3 (dd was home with me when he fell). Coincidentally, we gave her a Little Tykes doll house that Christmas. Dd would stand the Daddy figure on the top of the house then flick her fingers to knock him off while saying "Bing, Daddy fell off the roof."

Ok, back to the holiday venting.

TJ1979 · December 2013

@chickypoo2468 I bled pretty consistently until 10 weeks. And AF didn't return for real until 8 months. So you just never know. Hormones are weird.

Unknown · December 2013

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TJ1979 · December 2013

SecretAgentKate said:

Into+the+Kitty said:

Well I just got an early Christmas gift... I got charged with a misdemeanor! Woohoo! Nothing like going to court the week before Christmas. Think Santa will have to return my presents for being naughty?

No seriously, I need some fucking booze right here.

is no one else wondering what the heck ITK got a misdemeanor for?

I just assume it's something badass, and if she tells us, she will have to kill us. She's awesome like that.

Mandmeesh · December 2013

TJ1979 said:

Into+the+Kitty said:

Well I just got an early Christmas gift... I got charged with a misdemeanor! Woohoo! Nothing like going to court the week before Christmas. Think Santa will have to return my presents for being naughty?

No seriously, I need some fucking booze right here.

is no one else wondering what the heck ITK got a misdemeanor for?
I just assume it's something badass, and if she tells us, she will have to kill us. She's awesome like that.

haha. this.

Spill it, ITK

farmrose · December 2013

Regarding the Christmas traditions-luckily (well not really) I usually end up working Christmas day bc I'm a nurse so this has forced family to be flexible about when we celebrate. I told DH that Christmas morning well be spent at our house with our family unit when LO is here next year and in the future. Grandparents are more than welcome to join later in the morning or for dinner. But we are staying put. I might be a jerk but oh well. I like doing extended family stuff on other days. But I think this is x because growing up it was always just our family on Christmas morning and I loved it. Probably bc extended family lived so far away. The exception was one year we went to my dad's mom's for a week. But occasional travel is fine.

jess9802 · December 2013

My vent: I hate people buying clothes for me. Hate it. Have hated it since I was in middle school. It's partly a style thing, and partly being sensitive about my weight and clothing size. My MIL is quite petite, as are all of my husband's sisters/SSs. Gorgeous women, all of them. I feel gargantuan next to them. DH said yesterday that his mother wanted to buy me a Steelers sweatshirt for Christmas but needed to know my size. (I've tried finding collegiate sweatshirts in my size, and damn if they are hard to find, at least for my schools.) He did not understand why I was unhappy with that plan. Argument ensued because apparently I'm being a bad sport. Yeah, honey, it's every fat girl's dream to open clothes that don't fit on Christmas.

YellowLily2013 · December 2013

We are doing a gift exchange for DHs family -- and no one wanted to put a budget on it!! Ugh. So after a debate we decide to put a max of $100 there is no min.... So I'm a little curious of what will happen!

I personally will be offended if I get a crappy $20 gift and I spent $100 on someone else. But apparently I'm in the minority.

On a similar note SIL is not my favorite person, especially regarding gifting. And BIL drew his wife an wanted to trade. And I said NO!

hehehehhe I'm so proud of myself. It was hard but I'm so glad I did!

Mandmeesh · December 2013

$100 gift limit??!!! holy crap @yellowlily2013

ours is $30

LatteLady5 · December 2013

I really like my inlaws. My parents drive me batty but for the most part I got pretty lucky in the inlaw department. I'm sorry you all are dealing with so much around the Holidays

My vent is semi-inlaw related but nothing compared to PPs. I think everyone is just getting each other money/gift cards. That's all they asked for so that's what we got them and I know MIL and FIL are just giving money to DH and me. I suggested drawing names but it was too late. I really think next year I'm going to push giving to a charity instead. I love gift cards but it just seem sooooo silly to exchange gift cards. "Here's $50 to amazon from me and I'll take that $50 to wherever from you..." just doesn't scream Christmas spirit to me.

Oh and we stay home on Christmas day. We wake up to Santa gifts, make cinnamon rolls and coffee, read the Christmas story, open presents, get dressed whenever we want, relax, do lunch and chill all day. I don't care who it offends either. Christmas isn't supposed to be a stressful shuffle from one house and activity to the next.

Mandmeesh · December 2013

check the FFFC!!!!!!!

TJ1979 · December 2013

Chickypoo2468 said:

SecretAgentKate said:

Into+the+Kitty said:

Well I just got an early Christmas gift... I got charged with a misdemeanor! Woohoo! Nothing like going to court the week before Christmas. Think Santa will have to return my presents for being naughty?

No seriously, I need some fucking booze right here.

is no one else wondering what the heck ITK got a misdemeanor for?

How did I miss this??

You were probably changing a diaper or reading food labels or being an otherwise responsible parent.

YellowLily2013 · December 2013

LatteLady5 said:
I really
like my inlaws. My parents drive me batty but for the most part I got
pretty lucky in the inlaw department. I'm sorry you all are dealing with
so much around the Holidays

My vent is semi-inlaw related but
nothing compared to PPs. I think everyone is just getting each other
money/gift cards. That's all they asked for so that's what we got them
and I know MIL and FIL are just giving money to DH and me. I suggested
drawing names but it was too late. I really think next year I'm going to
push giving to a charity instead. I love gift cards but it just seem
sooooo silly to exchange gift cards. "Here's $50 to amazon from me and
I'll take that $50 to wherever from you..." just doesn't scream
Christmas spirit to me.

Oh and we stay home on Christmas day. We wake up to Santa gifts, make cinnamon rolls and coffee, read the Christmas story, open presents, get dressed whenever we want, relax, do lunch and chill all day. I don't care who it offends either. Christmas isn't supposed to be a stressful shuffle from one house and activity to the next.

I know I hate gift cards for that reason! It's just so incredibly silly.

YellowLily2013 · December 2013

Mandmeesh said:
$100 gift limit??!!! holy crap @yellowlily2013

ours is $30

I know right!! Super high! My side is a 15-20$ limit.

And his grandparents are "still going to do what they normally do" which is giving $$!

Unknown · December 2013

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jesstellina · December 2013

I really don't want to buy for my oldest niece. She's a 23-yr-old brat. She lives with my brother and SIL, quit college, works a lame job and doesn't help out with ANYTHING around their house. She really just acts like a kid. It bothers me that she doesn't buy gifts for anyone. I know I started buying for everyne when I was 18, if not earlier, even though I was on college. In our family my siblings and I buy for each other's kids and not for each other, so it's not that I expect a gift from her, but I think it would be nice if she got a little something for DD. plus, she's hard to buy for and is never appreciative of anything you do buy her.
since this is a holiday vent, not just Christmas, I'll go ahead and complain about her from Thanksgiving. We had dinner at my brother's house. Licing room and dining room are basically one big room. Before dinner was even over, she went into the living room, sat down with her 11yo sister and my 10 yo nephew to play video games. DD of course was watching them. My dad could see the tv and asked if I wanted her to see what they were playing. Itwas some fighting game, so I realydidn't want herto. So I asked my niece if they could play something not violent, maybe a sports game. She got upset about it, saying that wasn't fair to the rest of them. Are you kidding me?! Her video games mean more to her than her adorable 2 year old cousin?? She's 23!!! And it was her own home and her own games, meaning she gets plenty of time to play them whenever she wants. She suggested I try to keep her in the other room. Yeah right. Selfish b****.

PipSqueak0313 · December 2013

Chickypoo2468 said:

Dd would stand the Daddy figure on the top of the house then flick her fingers to knock him off while saying "Bing, Daddy fell off the roof."
Ok, back to the holiday venting.

That is hilarious. As long as he was ok of course.

He landed on his butt on a concrete sidewalk, thought he just knocked the wind out of himself until he stood up and tried walking, laid down on the ground and instructed his brother to call an ambulance and get him a cigarette. Turns out he cracked the ring shaped part of his pelvis - which of course led to the joke that he fell off the roof and cracked his butt.

And if anyone is curious as to how he fell - well, he watched his brother slide down the steep pitched roof and catch his foot on a vent pipe before climbing down so he figured that was cool so he tried it and missed the pipe and slid off the roof.

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Can we do a holiday vent thread?

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