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Scared to give birth

alysemcialysemci member
in April 2014 Moms
Let me put out there I'm extremely happy and excited to be pregnant. I'm also a FTM and randomly the other day, the thought of going into labor and actually having the baby made me panic. I'm pretty healthy and so far all signs point to a normal labor (it can change any minute I know) but it's just a panicky scared feeling I can't shake. I'm aware I'm lucky that everything seems to be going fine and not everyone gets that chance. I don't think it's the pain I'm scared of and I'm not scared of being a mom, maybe it's the unknown? I'm sure it's normal but damn am I nervous! Anyways, tell me I'm not alone ?!
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Re: Scared to give birth

  • slogersloger member
    You are definitely not alone! The first 18 weeks of my pregnancy I didn't even give a thought to giving birth and then when I saw that sweet little baby on the ultrasound it hit me that it has to come out eventually. It's a scary thought!
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  • alysemcialysemci member
    You all make good points, especially the come and go fairly quickly part! I know I just need to suck it up and get informed. Like anything, I'm sure I'll get used to it with time.
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  • Pandamom14Pandamom14 member
    Well we really have no choice at this point. I think reading does help. I loved watching Tye Business of being born - shows you how hard yet awesome birth can be. You will do it and you'll be just fine.
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  • MapleLeafMamaMapleLeafMama member
    It's totally normal to be scared.  Hell, I'm scared for THIS one too!  But, like the other have said, the pain is temporary. :)

    I'm (like others) more scared of raising a girl!  We've been doing okay with a boy, and I'm terrified to get a little ME here. ;)

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  • CecilbearCecilbear member
    You are definitely not alone! FTM here, too, and last night I was wide awake at 2 a.m. just randomly panicking about labor. I'm so excited to be pregnant--and even more excited to meet this little girl in April--but damn, am I terrified of just how she's going to get here. I'm a totally squeamish person (I fainted in 5th grade during the puberty video when I realized that periods last for a whole week, and not 5 minutes like I thought they did.), and I'm hoping that birthing classes ease my fears instead of compounding them! 

    If you ever want to chat, feel free to DM me. I think we're in the same boat :) 
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  • rbrouillardrbrouillard member
    Yeah same here but I also know what happens somewhat coaching my friend this last summer. The thing is, it can be different for everyone and different every pregnancy for yourself so I think that's the only really scary part. When will I go into labor? Where will I be? Will my husband be in the area or out of state? I like having things planned but this will help me get over that even more because I already have had to dealing w/DH's crazy schedule. And soon a baby's schedule. :) but it still keeps me up wondering sometimes.
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  • klscasklscas member
    edited December 2013
    KatieGummow said:


    alysemciver said:

    You all make good points, especially the come and go fairly quickly part! I know I just need to suck it up and get informed. Like anything, I'm sure I'll get used to it with time.

    Oh my gosh, no!  I am not trying to make your fears insignificant, sorry!  I can totally see how you would be afraid of L&D!!  I can't lie, it scares me too, I just tend to think about the raising part more than the birth part... if that makes sense??  Sorry again.



    irisheyez7 said:


    Raising a *GASP* TEENAGE GIRL scares the living daylights out of me! I was such a snarky little bitch when I was a teenager I just don't know if I can handle a smaller version of myself. Ugh and I really don't know if my DH will be able to handle it when little boys come a calling. I was giving him a hard time and saying "Uh oh, little boys that were JUST LIKE YOU will be looking at our little girl..." He just shuddered and told me to shut it ;-)

    Oh my gosh, that is what I think about ALL the time.  I apologize to my mom constantly for how I behaved in High School.  I was nice enough...to my friends... and graduated...barely... but what I did behind my mom's back, I am sure I am going to hell.  Oh my...</ blockquote>

    omg yes!! Periods... bad break ups and emotions... boys..... other girls making her feel insecure... keeping her wardrobe up with latest fashions or shell just "die" I'm scared!!! I was also a mouthy little bitch as well as an only girl. which my little girl is also gonna be an only girl. Yikes. As for the l&d concern though, what you need is the power mom by your side. A woman whose had kids and knows exactly what you need and what to do in times your unsure of. This was my SIL during my pregnancy . I know to this day i couldn't have done it without her by my side. :) It WILL be ok. No amount of pain is going to compare to seeing that little babies face for the first time. Everything else disappears.

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  • NxyNxy member
    I was totally fine with giving birth until DH brought a jackfruit home! I looked on here and it said at 40 weeks baby is roughly the size of a jackfruit. This fruit was 26 pounds and about 2 feet long.. Obviously the baby won't be 26 pounds but, all I could picture was pushing that HUGE fruit out of me and it made me a little nervous! 
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  • EdramiEdrami member
    L&D is scary enough as PPs said its raising my little girl that worries me. I was a good kid till I got to middle/high school (when I started to notice boys). My mom always told me that I'd pay for everything I did to her. I really hope she isn't right! :((
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  • KatieGummowKatieGummow member
    Edrami said:
    L&D is scary enough as PPs said its raising my little girl that worries me. I was a good kid till I got to middle/high school (when I started to notice boys). My mom always told me that I'd pay for everything I did to her. I really hope she isn't right! :((
    Hahahahahaha, oh gosh!
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  • MegczaplaMegczapla member
    I'm with you @kendracoleslaw. Not that I'm ready for L&D, but I'm REALLY not lookin forward to recovery. At all. I was talking to a friend about how much she was bleeding and..ugh..I'm getting freaked and grossed out just thinking about it. And stitches..yikes!
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  • MamamonzoMamamonzo member
    irisheyez7 said:
    KatieGummow said:
    Man, not me.  I just remind myself that labor is the most insignificant (in the matter of time it takes) aspect of this entire thing.  It will come and go fairly quickly.  It is the parenting that scares the living daylight out of me.  How can I do a great job keeping these beings alive and ensure they turn into good people of the world?!
    Raising a *GASP* TEENAGE GIRL scares the living daylights out of me! I was such a snarky little bitch when I was a teenager I just don't know if I can handle a smaller version of myself. Ugh and I really don't know if my DH will be able to handle it when little boys come a calling. I was giving him a hard time and saying "Uh oh, little boys that were JUST LIKE YOU will be looking at our little girl..." He just shuddered and told me to shut it ;-)


    DH won't mind when my sweet Lucas comes a callin!  They'll be best friends starting next summer.  We live too close to not arrange this marriage!

    :x

     

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  • bornmommybornmommy member
    You're not alone.  I'm actually more nervous about this l&d than I was for DS.  I think its because I know a shit ton more now.  Anyway, it always helped me to always remind myself that women do it every day in various ways.  There is so much growing support for pregnant and laboring women now.  Reach out.  Take a class.  Above all, relax and remind yourself that you can.
                  
                                       \

                                                                DS #1 born 05/25/2012   
                                                         BFP#2:  06/12/2013 ---- loss     
                                                                DS #2 born 4/08/2014
          BPF#4: 2/1/2016 --- 2/23/2016 suspected molar pregnancy--- 3/15/2016 D&E - diagnosis MM
                                                                   BFP#5 - 9/22/2016
                        
                                                                                                                                     * formally bornmommy

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  • HNRomanceHNRomance member
    This doesn't work for everyone but when I start getting myself freaked out about it I watch some natural labor videos. It also helps me to remember that women go through this every day all over the world. I want to go as natural as possible so that leaves me with fewer decisions to make. Having a plan and knowing my body was made for this makes me feel a little better. Like a few of you, I'm more worried about raising a little person than the labor part!
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  • Sisimama10Sisimama10 member
    Umm I'm scared and I'm not a first time mom!
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  • abbeylanecbabbeylanecb member
    I had two wonderful births and I'm still nervous. I think it's the fear of the unknown that freaks me out.
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  • SimplyRSVPSimplyRSVP member
    Warning - disgusting concern: Is it really disturbing that I'm most worried about pooping during labor? That's just gross, and I already feel unattractive. I'd really prefer if we didn't add it to the mix with hubs in the room. Other than that, I'm ok with l&d, scared shitless about raising a kid in today's society.
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  • Jodash24Jodash24 member
    I'm scared and it's 2nd time round! X
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  • mamamaeimamamaei member
    I'm sorry you are freaking out a little all of a sudden. If you're afraid of the unknown I always find it best to try and hear multiple stories/sides/experiences/pros and cons so you have a variety of scenarios that could possibly happen or not. That way if you're thrown a curve ball during labor or delivery hopefully it won't be the first time you have ever heard of something, but can realize you're not alone and are somewhat prepared this/that could happen. Don't know if that helps you but it seems to help when I'm faced with the unknown! Good luck! :)
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  • MissWhisMissWhis member
    KendraColeslaw said:

    I'm more worried about the recovery than L&D. I hate recovering from anything and knowing that I'm gonna be a swollen, stitched, bloody mess is just... incomprehensible. I don't WANNA.

    THIS.
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  • NYJodwayNYJodway member
    MissWhis said:
    I'm more worried about the recovery than L&D. I hate recovering from anything and knowing that I'm gonna be a swollen, stitched, bloody mess is just... incomprehensible. I don't WANNA.
    THIS.
    Double this.
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  • KelleAlwardKelleAlward member
    @NXY wow! What is a jackfruit like and where do you live that you can get one?! I'm intrigued!
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  • Medic99Medic99 member
    I was terrified with my first but I got the epidural and slept through my entire labor. I was scared again for my DD2 because it was a c-section but it was easier to recover from than my first delivery. Now I am even more scared about delivery because of health developments that we found out about recently. The unknown can be very scary and can bring on anxiety. You are not alone.
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  • irisheyez7irisheyez7 member
    Mamamonzo said:
    irisheyez7 said:
    KatieGummow said:
    Man, not me.  I just remind myself that labor is the most insignificant (in the matter of time it takes) aspect of this entire thing.  It will come and go fairly quickly.  It is the parenting that scares the living daylight out of me.  How can I do a great job keeping these beings alive and ensure they turn into good people of the world?!
    Raising a *GASP* TEENAGE GIRL scares the living daylights out of me! I was such a snarky little bitch when I was a teenager I just don't know if I can handle a smaller version of myself. Ugh and I really don't know if my DH will be able to handle it when little boys come a calling. I was giving him a hard time and saying "Uh oh, little boys that were JUST LIKE YOU will be looking at our little girl..." He just shuddered and told me to shut it ;-)


    DH won't mind when my sweet Lucas comes a callin!  They'll be best friends starting next summer.  We live too close to not arrange this marriage!

    :x
    Awe! Lucas and (well whatever we decide to name this little girl) will have the best love story ever!


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  • NxyNxy member
    KelleAlward said:

    @NXY wow! What is a jackfruit like and where do you live that you can get one?! I'm intrigued!

    I am currently living in Guam and they grow somewhat regularly here. Scary thing is, they can get huge (up to 80 pounds!) and grow on trees!! I can't really explain the taste. . Weird slimy banana pinapple? They have a strange smell and texture to them. Definitely intimidating when they say, "baby is about the size of a jackfruit".
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  • Bun in the oven 2011Bun in the oven 2011 member
    Its totally normal to be anxious about labor and delivery! It is the unknown. As a first time mom no matter how many times people tell you about their experience there is no way to truly know what it is like until you experience it for yourself! It is a beautiful and magical experience and good or bad you will remember it for the rest of your life. Hang in there and try not to worry too much! you will do great when the time comes :) 
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  • eireyeseireyes member
    irisheyez7 said:
    KatieGummow said:
    Man, not me.  I just remind myself that labor is the most insignificant (in the matter of time it takes) aspect of this entire thing.  It will come and go fairly quickly.  It is the parenting that scares the living daylight out of me.  How can I do a great job keeping these beings alive and ensure they turn into good people of the world?!
    Raising a *GASP* TEENAGE GIRL scares the living daylights out of me! I was such a snarky little bitch when I was a teenager I just don't know if I can handle a smaller version of myself. Ugh and I really don't know if my DH will be able to handle it when little boys come a calling. I was giving him a hard time and saying "Uh oh, little boys that were JUST LIKE YOU will be looking at our little girl..." He just shuddered and told me to shut it ;-)
    THIS x 100%.  I know for a fact that this was the biggest reason I hoped for a boy first.  I know what my sisters and I did to my parents, and I'm not sure I could handle all the emotional drama.  I know not all girls are the same, but I can handle the physicality of a boy.  The emotional brutality of teenage girls?  That scared the bejeezus out of me!
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  • luvU2theMoonluvU2theMoon member
    KatieGummow said:
    Man, not me.  I just remind myself that labor is the most insignificant (in the matter of time it takes) aspect of this entire thing.  It will come and go fairly quickly.  It is the parenting that scares the living daylight out of me.  How can I do a great job keeping these beings alive and ensure they turn into good people of the world?!
    I am right there with you! I am actually excited to go through giving birth as it is the hardest but most amazing thing we as woman can do! But taking care of a baby and trying to make sure i dont screw up her life and make sure i raise her right is sooo scary to me! how do you make a child turn out to be a good person... how do i avoid not having the screaming kicking 7 year old that i see at target ever too often... Parenting is sooo scary to me!

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  • J&NLJ&NL member
    L&D I can do. I'm more worried about having a newborn and another child to care for. I've been warning and trying to prepare DH as much as I can so he will know that he pretty much has to help with DD a lot while he's home. It shouldn't be an issue though. He helps a lot as it is.
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  • luvU2theMoonluvU2theMoon member
    klscas said:
    alysemciver said:
    You all make good points, especially the come and go fairly quickly part! I know I just need to suck it up and get informed. Like anything, I'm sure I'll get used to it with time.
    Oh my gosh, no!  I am not trying to make your fears insignificant, sorry!  I can totally see how you would be afraid of L&D!!  I can't lie, it scares me too, I just tend to think about the raising part more than the birth part... if that makes sense??  Sorry again.


    irisheyez7 said:
    Raising a *GASP* TEENAGE GIRL scares the living daylights out of me! I was such a snarky little bitch when I was a teenager I just don't know if I can handle a smaller version of myself. Ugh and I really don't know if my DH will be able to handle it when little boys come a calling. I was giving him a hard time and saying "Uh oh, little boys that were JUST LIKE YOU will be looking at our little girl..." He just shuddered and told me to shut it ;-)
    Oh my gosh, that is what I think about ALL the time.  I apologize to my mom constantly for how I behaved in High School.  I was nice enough...to my friends... and graduated...barely... but what I did behind my mom's back, I am sure I am going to hell.  Oh my... omg yes!! Periods... bad break ups and emotions... boys..... other girls making her feel insecure... keeping her wardrobe up with latest fashions or shell just "die" I'm scared!!! I was also a mouthy little bitch as well as an only girl. which my little girl is also gonna be an only girl. Yikes. As for the l&d concern though, what you need is the power mom by your side. A woman whose had kids and knows exactly what you need and what to do in times your unsure of. This was my SIL during my pregnancy . I know to this day i couldn't have done it without her by my side. :) It WILL be ok. No amount of pain is going to compare to seeing that little babies face for the first time. Everything else disappears.
    I was so excited for a little princess... until i thought about all of this... oh boy was i a little shit... I pray my daughter is nothing like me!

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  • mooncusp22mooncusp22 member
    I am scared too... I've never had a surgery, gotten stitches, etc *knock on wood*. I don't generally like to take meds for anything too.

    I am going to try to go nautral, my DH thinks I am crazy lol A friend of mine has had 2 natural births and swears by it and I have just been researching alot about it too. She and I both ran a full marathon and she said that was harder then giving birth so if I did that I will be fine. I do have a fairly high threshold for pain, I think. But of course I have not had this kind of pain that I have no idea what I am really getting into!
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  • fourthnlastfourthnlast member
    I'm definitely more nervous about having another newborn again!!! 
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  • SerenlaSerenla member
    I used to be nervous about it but I just educated myself about the process and I feel much better about it.
    Also, this might only apply to some of us but I keep telling myself that if I can survive the loss of two of my babies, then I can survive the birth of one.



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    Started dating in 5/9/05, Married 6/25/11
    Started TTC Feb 2013, BFP #1 3/4/13 EDD 11/10/13. MMC 4/9/13 D&C 4/22/13.
    BFP #2 7/17/13, EDD 3/29/14 ended in a CP on 7/22/13.
    BFP#3 8/19/13 EDD 5/3/14 Nerdling was born 4/29/14, welcome little one!
     All AL welcome.


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