--unpopular opinions--

lilbit0910 · December 2013

Sol1790 said:

Channing Tatum is ugly.

It's like we were separated at birth.....
Seriously ladies??? Agh! I disagree,he may not be the best looking guy but he is not ugly. I see nothing but sexiness

agreed! super hot and sexy

tondraluv · December 2013

Yes @chicagobroad26 he is ugly, now I will go cower in a corner. @sol1790 he looks too artificial to me like a Ken doll with his face squashed in

Sol1790 · December 2013

Ok you guys ruined him for me lol

kelsea1031 · December 2013

Erin10408 said:

I would trim this quote tree but my phone won't let me. This 'debate' is ridiculous because there's no right or wrong. I will say this regarding the bolded. This drives me batty about the comparisons between working moms and SAHMs. During the day, 9-5 if you will, I don't spend my days doing laundry, cooking, and cleaning. I spend my day caring for my kids, feeding them, changing diapers, disciplining, teaching, interacting, etc. When that day is over, in the evenings, that's when I cram in the bulk of the laundry, cleaning the house, bill paying, meal planning, etc., all while still being responsible for caring for my children. Now yes, if my kid spills a drink, I'll clean it up but I'm not scrubbing toilets while my LO is entertaining herself. Sure it's easy to do all that housekeeping stuff when baby is tiny and sleeps most of the day but not so much when they're mobile. And forget about it when you have more than one kid.

I'm a SAHM, not a cleaning lady. My job during the day is to care of my children, similar to what a nanny or daycare might do. My job title is not maid or cook. I do all of those on top of childcare, just like working moms do all of those on top of their outside-the-home job.

Working is a part of the way I care for my child...bringing home income to take care of her needs. Just because I'm working from 7-5:30 doesn't mean I'm not caring for my child during that time. I check in, I pump every 3 hours, etc. That is providing care as well. Just as it drives SAHM's nuts that some people think that they don't do anything all day, it drives me nuts when SAHM say "well, I'm CARING for my child all day". Yes, you are....because you are a parent. One that has the opportunity or has made the choice to stay at home with your child and not be in the workforce. And thats great...but it is not a job.

I was home on maternity leave for 12 weeks. And yes...some days were exhausting.Some days I wanted to cry from being lonely. I think @jss1002 said it best that it's different kinds of challenges. But when people put things on FB or make statements like "being a mommy IS my job" or "I work 365/24/7", it drives me nuts. I think of it this way...would you want your kid to see that someday? That raising him/her was SO MUCH WORK, and harder than any job? Duh. It's parenting. The hardest, scariest, and most rewarding experience in the world.

Oh, FFS, I used the word caring/childcare to mean the physical act of watching my children, not that I actually CARE for my children more because I'm physically at home with them. My DH goes to work everyday and I consider his paycheck one of the ways he "cares" for our children. He calls to check in during the day to show he cares for our children. I get it, you don't think being a parent is a "job." Quite frankly, I have WAY more respect for my own parents now that I'm a parent because I'm starting to see just how hard/scary/rewarding it is. My parents put in a lot of work, inside and outside of the home, to raise me and my siblings. That realization makes me want to work hard to be a good parent to my kids. That's a whole lot of responsibily on my shoulders. A heck of a lot more responsibilty than I had working at Limited Too when I was 16.

ETA: posted too soon... And that responsibility is something we ALL have in common, SAHM or not. IMO, that is a ton of work and way harder than any job I've ever had and no, I wouldn't mind my kids realizing that someday.

arschm02 · December 2013

I can tell you first hand that being a stay at home mom and taking care of my child is the same as nannying or working in a daycare.

And I can tell you first hand that they are most certainly not the same. I've stayed home with my child. I now bring him to an early learning child care center.... That I work at... And take care of him along with 9 other infants. Not the same. I don't believe that one is better than the other. It's all about individual differences. That's like saying that a desk job is so much easier than working with people/kids all day long. Depends on whether or not you like the desk job. That would not be easy for me. I would pull out my mother effin hair and go crazy. We do what we do because it's the best choice for our family. Clearly, if we thought one was better than the other, we would do that. Unless of course you can't financially do one or the other but that's a complete different topic.

arschm02 · December 2013

Luckey4 said:

Erin10408 said:

knitfaced said:

cece2682 said:

cece2682 said:

So is your nanny who stays home with your child all day not working? Is it different somehow because she is watching someone else's kid instead of her own? I think the comparison between working and being a SAHM is silly. They are both jobs and both have unique challenges. I would end up in the loony bin if I had to stay home with my 2 year old all day.
My thoughts exactly. And there are some contradictions here. Some are saying they don't have sympathy for sahm, but that they would go crazy and prefer a job outside of the home. That doesn't make sense. None whatsoever. And for those who said that they view nannying and your daycare providers as working moms and not stay at home moms- HUH!??? Do you not see how contradictory that is?? What's the difference? I can tell you first hand that being a stay at home mom and taking care of my child is the same as nannying or working in a daycare. The only difference is that I get to spend the day with my own child. And I probably have MORE responsibilities home than I would at my nannying jobs. The whole comparison things really annoys me. Why are we comparing? They are both f*@&&(@ WORK in their own respect!!!! End of story. Eta: Pinot I do agree with you when you said its a privilege to be at home with your children. It is. And I don't like when people truly complain about it.

So you're saying taking care of other children is the same as taking care of your own child? This is where I get confused. To me...taking care of my child is not my job. It's my responsibility as a parent. My job is what pays the bills. Daycare providers and nannies get paid to watch others children...that is a job.
I'm not saying that being a SAHM doesn't have it's challenges, and isn't hard. I'm saying its not the same as working outside the home, and it certainly isn't a job.
Of course taking care of my child is my responsibility. But my responsibilities as a parent here with my son is exactly the same as when I am at a nanny job. I am not caring for those children any less because they are not my own. So what I mean is that both carry the exact same responsibilities, expectations, etc. the only difference is its my own baby now. Does that make sense?

So do you consider yourself a SAHM or a working mom? I'm still confused by the statement I highlighted. If you nanny and are paid for it, in my view, you are a working mom. It has nothing to do with the level of care that you provide...it's the fact that you are doing a job on top of your responsibility as a parent. I do not consider myself "working" on my days off from my job because I am caring for my house and child. THOSE are my days off. My working days are when I get up in the morning, go to work, and provide a service/skill/time to my company. When I get off work, it's my responsibility as a parent, and adult, to care for my daughter and maintain my household with the help of my husband...along with going to work.Still hard, but parenting is not a job, and should not be called one.
Wow. Way to support women and the tough jobs we all have.

I do support all women, and said in a previous post that SAHM have lots of challenges, and it's also hard. I just don't like when it's called a "job"...because it's not.

Is SAHM not a "job" bc I don't get in my car and leave my driveway? Or bc I don't work a 9-5? Oh that's right I work 24/7 365.

So does a working mom but they split it between two jobs.

tondraluv · December 2013

Best......... Bump Break (when I really should be working).... ever

Erin10408 · December 2013

@kelsea1031 I didn't think you meant caring in that way.

But you did state your "job" was to care for your children, and you compared yourself to being a nanny or daycare provider. No. You are a mother, and that is what you are supposed to do.Just as that is what I do.

And I think it's funny you compare someone with a career to a teenager working at Limited Too. I can assure you I have far more responsibility than a teenage summer job.

JSS1002 · December 2013

HEre's how I would like to sum up this entire thread:

Choose your hard. Then STFU about it and quit complaining.

Mic drop.

kelsea1031 · December 2013

Erin10408 said:
@kelsea1031 I didn't think you meant caring in that way.
But you did state your "job" was to care for your children, and you compared yourself to being a nanny or daycare provider. No. You are a mother, and that is what you are supposed to do.Just as that is what I do.
And I think it's funny you compare someone with a career to a teenager working at Limited Too. I can assure you I have far more responsibility than a teenage summer job.

But see, you're missing the point. When I said my "job" was to "care" for my children during the day, not be a maid, I meant that 9-5 my "job" was to physically watch my children, change diapers, make sure they don't hurt themselves, much like what a daycare or nanny would do during the day. Yes, I am a mother, which means caring for my children in the definition that you use. I simply was using a different definition/instance of the word care(much like there's been several different definitions of job throughout this thread). Maybe caregiver would have been a better job. Lol at the nitpickiness.

And no, I wasn't comparing someone with a career to a summer job. I was pointing out that, per your definition of job, that summer job at the mall was a job just lke other careers. And my point was the responsibilty of raising kids IS harder than all those jobs/careers. Maybe not phsycially but in an emotional sense.

Kate_C · December 2013

JSS1002 said:
HEre's how I would like to sum up this entire thread:

Choose your hard. Then STFU about it and quit complaining.

Mic drop.

And to incorporate the teacher one: nobody likes whiners, whether SAHM, working mom, teacher, or little green Martian.

Erin10408 · December 2013

@kelsea1031, I'm not nitpicking word choice. I understood fully what you meant by "caring". And of course raising kids is harder than any job out there...I never said it wasn't.

(well, as far as I know, anyway...this is my first child)

Basically, in a nutshell, I think SOME (not all) SAHM's use the "being a mom IS my job" and the "365/24/7" platform as a defense mechanism, and to "toot their own horn", so to speak. I can tell you I see many more FB posts and blog posts from SAHM defending their "job"title and trying to convince others that they are busy all day, than I see from working moms.

And...us working moms are supposed to fully embrace and support SAHM's. I've seen one post on this thread where a SAHM gives kudos to a working mom. Just sayin.

pinottoparenthood · December 2013

cmcmillan0901 said:

I got so excited to see 3 pages of UO when I logged in today!

As for SAHM vs. WM: both sides had time to get on the bump today and argue so we can at least agree upon the fact that we all get breaks during the day
(my attempt at lightening the mood...)

@cmcmillan0901 The only reason I got to be on here so much today is because I used one of my "sick" days that SAHMs don't get! Aka I have been home with Rhys all day and it has been glorious. Also, your new siggy pic is so cute, and your hair looks amazing!

kelsea1031 · December 2013

Erin10408 said:
@kelsea1031, I'm not nitpicking word choice. I understood fully what you meant by "caring". And of course raising kids is harder than any job out there...I never said it wasn't.
(well, as far as I know, anyway...this is my first child)
Basically, in a nutshell, I think SOME (not all) SAHM's use the "being a mom IS my job" and the "365/24/7" platform as a defense mechanism, and to "toot their own horn", so to speak. I can tell you I see many more FB posts and blog posts from SAHM defending their "job"title and trying to convince others that they are busy all day, than I see from working moms.
And...us working moms are supposed to fully embrace and support SAHM's. I've seen one post on this thread where a SAHM gives kudos to a working mom. Just sayin.

I get that. Being a parent is hard whether it's your first kid or tenth, working mom, sahm, or somewhere in between. FWIW, I'm a SAHM who gives credit to working moms. That's not right for our family right now but I think it's great for families that it is. FWIW, I'm in agreeance that all the 24/7/365 crap is annoying. As are the endless complaints that come out of some people's mouths!

I will say I can see where some of the SAHM defensiveness can come from sometimes. My BIL is one of those people who think that all SahmS are lazy, freeloading, bonbon-eating moms. I'm sure there are those types out there but a majority aren't...both sides of it are annoying.

pinottoparenthood · December 2013

hatroopes said:

Lhyacinth888
Sometimes it's hard to put yourself in someone else's shoes. And good gracious, yes a toddler makes being a SAHM harder (for me at least)! That being said I don't really complain. I love my kids and love what I do but my main point is that it's not an easy thing to do- we don't sit around eating bon-bons and napping. I'm sure there are some SAHM's that are lazy and have poor time management but speaking for myself, it's a hard and rewarding "job". Would I like to pee for 3 minutes by myself, yes. Would I change my life for that 3 minute pee, no.

Okay, why does every SAHM complain about not being able to pee by themselves? I really don't get it! Especially those with one kid. Can't you put them in their crib or play pen and go handle your business for a few minutes? This just seems to be the one thing most SAHMs complain about...

Hahah I don't mind peeing with Rhys in the bathroom, it doesn't bother me at all... But I'm assuming it get exponentially more annoying as the child ages?

bibliophileemily · December 2013

Erin10408 said:
And...us working moms are supposed to fully embrace and support SAHM's. I've seen one post on this thread where a SAHM gives kudos to a working mom. Just sayin.

We moms should fully embrace and support ALL MOMS, working or not. I don't care if you work or not; just be a good parent.
Edited for clarity

Erin10408 · December 2013

pinottoparenthood said:

cmcmillan0901 said:

I got so excited to see 3 pages of UO when I logged in today!

As for SAHM vs. WM: both sides had time to get on the bump today and argue so we can at least agree upon the fact that we all get breaks during the day
(my attempt at lightening the mood...)

@cmcmillan0901 The only reason I got to be on here so much today is because I used one of my "sick" days that SAHMs don't get! Aka I have been home with Rhys all day and it has been glorious. Also, your new siggy pic is so cute, and your hair looks amazing!

Hahaha...me too.My babe has the sniffles...probably could have gone to daycare. But I wanted snuggles today.

bibliophileemily · December 2013

@Kate_C: I just realized that I am wearing my high school senior "Class of 2007" T-shirt today; oops! I never got a class ring, though, so I'm safe from that judgment.

ChicagoBroad26 · December 2013

I'm making mental notes of some things being said in this thread.

Kate_C · December 2013

ChicagoBroad26 said:
I'm making mental notes of some things being said in this thread.

Uh oh.... The infamous post it note. First Tim for this board in a while?

MKC12/22/2006 · December 2013

Wow crazy UO day today!

In reply to the teacher comment: I agree that many teachers complain way too much, including my coworkers. I hope I don't complain too much, but I do need to vent here and there. In my defense, I started at an amazing school that paid very well and now teach at a school that doesn't appreciate teachers and doesn't pay nearly as much - neither of which I knew when I took the job. But now if am back in my hometown so it was a sacrifice I made for the greater good.

To all you SAHMs/WAHMs: you're awesome. I couldn't do it myself!

danuli8 · December 2013

Wow. Very A14 here today, ladies. And I was just coming to say that Pinterest is the devil and is setting the bar so high no parent could ever possibly hope to measure up...

smiles21866 · December 2013

Holy billions of quote trees. Thanks for ruining UO Thursday for me

ceamac0127 · December 2013

pinottoparenthood said:

cmcmillan0901 said:

I got so excited to see 3 pages of UO when I logged in today!

As for SAHM vs. WM: both sides had time to get on the bump today and argue so we can at least agree upon the fact that we all get breaks during the day
(my attempt at lightening the mood...)

@cmcmillan0901 The only reason I got to be on here so much today is because I used one of my "sick" days that SAHMs don't get! Aka I have been home with Rhys all day and it has been glorious. Also, your new siggy pic is so cute, and your hair looks amazing!

Thank you bump BFF

melissad23 · December 2013

smiles21866 said:
Holy billions of quote trees. Thanks for ruining UO Thursday for me

(As I quote myself... Whoops) Made mobile bumping today extra annoying!

ChicagoBroad26 · December 2013

JSS1002 said:

HEre's how I would like to sum up this entire thread:

Choose your hard. Then STFU about it and quit complaining.

Mic drop.

This is the smartest thing in this entire thread.

ChicagoBroad26 · December 2013

Kate_C said:

I'm making mental notes of some things being said in this thread.
Uh oh.... The infamous post it note. First Tim for this board in a while?

The mental post it is always going

JSS1002 · December 2013

ChicagoBroad26 said:

JSS1002 said:

HEre's how I would like to sum up this entire thread:

Choose your hard. Then STFU about it and quit complaining.

Mic drop.

This is the smartest thing in this entire thread.

Curtsy.

arschm02 · December 2013

Here's a change. I think French fries are highly overrated. If I went the rest of my life without ever eating another French fry, I would be okay with that. Nachos on the other hand... I don't know if I'll be able to make it until tomorrow.

JSS1002 · December 2013

God damn, now I want french fries AND nachos - and while we're at it, some mozzarella sticks...

OhSewCrafty · December 2013

I guess the part about working moms and stay at home moms that I never understand is when you work, no one is home to do laundry, dishes, grocery shop, run errands, pay the bills, run the dog to the vet, etc. You need to do that AFTER you work. I'm not saying being a SAHM is a walk in the park, but you are home. You can do things to take care of your house and family that a working Mom can't. I get the whole, "if no one is home to mess up the house, you don't need to clean it as much," but I think that argument only goes so far. I still need to dust, vacuum, etc. regardless of the house being empty during the day.

We get home around 5pm. By the time we start and make dinner, clean up the kids and the house, run any errands we need to, and get ready for the next day its at least 10pm and we've had like zero QT. Its all rushing around. God forbid I get a run or haircut in during the week. lol

Also, and this is a personal pet peeve/experience of mine, but Moms groups exclude working Moms. NOTHING goes on during the weekends and evenings because that's when families are home. Well, that's when I'm home, sooooo....

bhjones1980 · December 2013

Molly& said:

If you never get to pee alone, you're doing it wrong. Sure, I occasionally have a visitor but the majority of my bathroom trips are solo.

I stopped being able to pee alone when I got a dog....

being a dog mom is the HARDEST THING EVA!!!

Erin10408 · December 2013

OhSewCrafty said:

I guess the part about working moms and stay at home moms that I never understand is when you work, no one is home to do laundry, dishes, grocery shop, run errands, pay the bills, run the dog to the vet, etc. You need to do that AFTER you work. I'm not saying being a SAHM is a walk in the park, but you are home. You can do things to take care of your house and family that a working Mom can't. I get the whole, "if no one is home to mess up the house, you don't need to clean it as much," but I think that argument only goes so far. I still need to dust, vacuum, etc. regardless of the house being empty during the day.

We get home around 5pm. By the time we start and make dinner, clean up the kids and the house, run any errands we need to, and get ready for the next day its at least 10pm and we've had like zero QT. Its all rushing around. God forbid I get a run or haircut in during the week. lol

Also, and this is a personal pet peeve/experience of mine, but Moms groups exclude working Moms. NOTHING goes on during the weekends and evenings because that's when families are home. Well, that's when I'm home, sooooo....

I love everything about this, and couldn't agree more. Especially the last comment. Mom groups TOTALLY exclude working moms.

Erin10408 · December 2013

bhjones1980 said:

Molly& said:

If you never get to pee alone, you're doing it wrong. Sure, I occasionally have a visitor but the majority of my bathroom trips are solo.

I stopped being able to pee alone when I got a dog....

being a dog mom is the HARDEST THING EVA!!!

This made me think of my other UO... the whole "pets are my children/I'm their mom" deal. Nope, nope, nope.

I will cower in the corner for this one...because I feel like I'll get flamed even more by this than the SAHM/Working mom debate.

LargeMargeSentMe · December 2013

Pfff, I've stayed home and worked and working is a billion times harder. On days I work I have to get up at 5. I get home by 5:30 and am so exhausted I am a zombie. Oh, then I have more work to do after she goes to bed.(work, work, not house work) I can barely enjoy time with my baby and am too tired to cook or clean. When I SAH I got to sleep in and could get stuff done around the house by wearing baby, using her nap time, or putting her in her swing, etc. I had energy to spare!

ceamac0127 · December 2013

Erin10408 said:

bhjones1980 said:

Molly& said:

If you never get to pee alone, you're doing it wrong. Sure, I occasionally have a visitor but the majority of my bathroom trips are solo.

I stopped being able to pee alone when I got a dog....

being a dog mom is the HARDEST THING EVA!!!

This made me think of my other UO... the whole "pets are my children/I'm their mom" deal. Nope, nope, nope.
I will cower in the corner for this one...because I feel like I'll get flamed even more by this than the SAHM/Working mom debate.

Can pets take care of themselves? No. Pets are obviously no where near the responsibility of real children but to some people they are.

Erin10408 · December 2013

cmcmillan0901 said:

Erin10408 said:

bhjones1980 said:

Molly& said:

If you never get to pee alone, you're doing it wrong. Sure, I occasionally have a visitor but the majority of my bathroom trips are solo.

I stopped being able to pee alone when I got a dog....

being a dog mom is the HARDEST THING EVA!!!

This made me think of my other UO... the whole "pets are my children/I'm their mom" deal. Nope, nope, nope.
I will cower in the corner for this one...because I feel like I'll get flamed even more by this than the SAHM/Working mom debate.

Can pets take care of themselves? No. Pets are obviously no where near the responsibility of real children but to some people they are.

No, they can't, and they obviously need care and are excellent companions. But when people call pets their "children" and think they should be afforded all human privileges...nope. Can't get behind that.

Kate_C · December 2013

Erin10408 said:

cmcmillan0901 said:

Erin10408 said:

bhjones1980 said:

Molly& said:

If you never get to pee alone, you're doing it wrong. Sure, I occasionally have a visitor but the majority of my bathroom trips are solo.

I stopped being able to pee alone when I got a dog....

being a dog mom is the HARDEST THING EVA!!!

This made me think of my other UO... the whole "pets are my children/I'm their mom" deal. Nope, nope, nope.
I will cower in the corner for this one...because I feel like I'll get flamed even more by this than the SAHM/Working mom debate.

Can pets take care of themselves? No. Pets are obviously no where near the responsibility of real children but to some people they are.

No, they can't, and they obviously need care and are excellent companions. But when people call pets their "children" and think they should be afforded all human privileges...nope. Can't get behind that.

Oh c'mon. Let's be real. Sick husbands are truly the WORST babies to care for. Pets and babies have nothing on a sick man-child.