--unpopular opinions--

Erin10408 · December 2013

ChicagoBroad26 said:

Channing Tatum is ugly.

Yes. Except when he is dancing...because then I don't look at his face.

pinottoparenthood · December 2013

Kate_C said:

So is your nanny who stays home with your child all day not working? Is it different somehow because she is watching someone else's kid instead of her own? I think the comparison between working and being a SAHM is silly. They are both jobs and both have unique challenges. I would end up in the loony bin if I had to stay home with my 2 year old all day.

I have been a full-time nanny and a full-time mom, and the two are not at all the same. When you are caring for someone else's child, a) it's not your kid so it's just not the same. As much as I loved the kids I nannied for, it was boring! I wasn't fascinated with every little thing they did. I find it way more enjoyable spending time with my own kid.

as a nanny, you have to do everything the way the parent wants you to. You are probably stuck at the house. If they say no tv all day, it's off all day. You can't really run errands, or do housework, or go to lunch with a friend and your kid. It's just different. It's a job.

Erin10408 · December 2013

knitfaced said:

cece2682 said:

cece2682 said:

So is your nanny who stays home with your child all day not working? Is it different somehow because she is watching someone else's kid instead of her own? I think the comparison between working and being a SAHM is silly. They are both jobs and both have unique challenges. I would end up in the loony bin if I had to stay home with my 2 year old all day.
My thoughts exactly. And there are some contradictions here. Some are saying they don't have sympathy for sahm, but that they would go crazy and prefer a job outside of the home. That doesn't make sense. None whatsoever. And for those who said that they view nannying and your daycare providers as working moms and not stay at home moms- HUH!??? Do you not see how contradictory that is?? What's the difference? I can tell you first hand that being a stay at home mom and taking care of my child is the same as nannying or working in a daycare. The only difference is that I get to spend the day with my own child. And I probably have MORE responsibilities home than I would at my nannying jobs. The whole comparison things really annoys me. Why are we comparing? They are both f*@&&(@ WORK in their own respect!!!! End of story. Eta: Pinot I do agree with you when you said its a privilege to be at home with your children. It is. And I don't like when people truly complain about it.

So you're saying taking care of other children is the same as taking care of your own child? This is where I get confused. To me...taking care of my child is not my job. It's my responsibility as a parent. My job is what pays the bills. Daycare providers and nannies get paid to watch others children...that is a job.
I'm not saying that being a SAHM doesn't have it's challenges, and isn't hard. I'm saying its not the same as working outside the home, and it certainly isn't a job.
Of course taking care of my child is my responsibility. But my responsibilities as a parent here with my son is exactly the same as when I am at a nanny job. I am not caring for those children any less because they are not my own. So what I mean is that both carry the exact same responsibilities, expectations, etc. the only difference is its my own baby now. Does that make sense?

So do you consider yourself a SAHM or a working mom? I'm still confused by the statement I highlighted. If you nanny and are paid for it, in my view, you are a working mom. It has nothing to do with the level of care that you provide...it's the fact that you are doing a job on top of your responsibility as a parent. I do not consider myself "working" on my days off from my job because I am caring for my house and child. THOSE are my days off. My working days are when I get up in the morning, go to work, and provide a service/skill/time to my company. When I get off work, it's my responsibility as a parent, and adult, to care for my daughter and maintain my household with the help of my husband...along with going to work.Still hard, but parenting is not a job, and should not be called one.
Wow. Way to support women and the tough jobs we all have.

I do support all women, and said in a previous post that SAHM have lots of challenges, and it's also hard. I just don't like when it's called a "job"...because it's not.

pinottoparenthood · December 2013

melissad23 said:

I have one that will require corner cowering as well... Mostly fueled by my sister's absurdly whiney attitude. I appreciate teachers, I really do. I have lots of friends and clients who are teachers and I definitely wouldn't want their job. But I hate hearing the complaints day in and day out. We're underpaid. We take work home with us. There are so many politics and red tape. Did you really not realize this before you sorted teaching?? Do y'all not think there are other people who have all of this applicable at their job and don't get 1-2 months off in the summer and 2 weeks at Christmas?? Again, most of this is all fueled by my annoying sister, not at all by y'all @pinottoparenthood @MKC12/22/2006 and whoever else I'm forgetting. I'm all for bitching about a crappy work situation, but stop the constant pity party dear sister. (Commences cowering)

Until you are a teacher, you may not realize what a truly heinous job it is haha. I don't think it's the fact that teachers in my state make 30k and haven't had a raise in 5+ years and we have to take work home constantly and deal with kids who don't want to be there.... But it's all that plus a lack of appreciation. Parents can be pretty hostile. But I agree that teachers complain waaaayyyyyy too much (I am guilty too!) and it makes us all look bad!!! It's why I'm looking for a new job. If m not happy, I should try to solve the problem rather than just complaining about it.

Also, wheeee!!!!! My opinion is unpopular!!!!!!

minerswife17 · December 2013

Erin10408 said:

knitfaced said:

cece2682 said:

cece2682 said:

So is your nanny who stays home with your child all day not working? Is it different somehow because she is watching someone else's kid instead of her own? I think the comparison between working and being a SAHM is silly. They are both jobs and both have unique challenges. I would end up in the loony bin if I had to stay home with my 2 year old all day.
My thoughts exactly. And there are some contradictions here. Some are saying they don't have sympathy for sahm, but that they would go crazy and prefer a job outside of the home. That doesn't make sense. None whatsoever. And for those who said that they view nannying and your daycare providers as working moms and not stay at home moms- HUH!??? Do you not see how contradictory that is?? What's the difference? I can tell you first hand that being a stay at home mom and taking care of my child is the same as nannying or working in a daycare. The only difference is that I get to spend the day with my own child. And I probably have MORE responsibilities home than I would at my nannying jobs. The whole comparison things really annoys me. Why are we comparing? They are both f*@&&(@ WORK in their own respect!!!! End of story. Eta: Pinot I do agree with you when you said its a privilege to be at home with your children. It is. And I don't like when people truly complain about it.

So you're saying taking care of other children is the same as taking care of your own child? This is where I get confused. To me...taking care of my child is not my job. It's my responsibility as a parent. My job is what pays the bills. Daycare providers and nannies get paid to watch others children...that is a job.
I'm not saying that being a SAHM doesn't have it's challenges, and isn't hard. I'm saying its not the same as working outside the home, and it certainly isn't a job.
Of course taking care of my child is my responsibility. But my responsibilities as a parent here with my son is exactly the same as when I am at a nanny job. I am not caring for those children any less because they are not my own. So what I mean is that both carry the exact same responsibilities, expectations, etc. the only difference is its my own baby now. Does that make sense?

So do you consider yourself a SAHM or a working mom? I'm still confused by the statement I highlighted. If you nanny and are paid for it, in my view, you are a working mom. It has nothing to do with the level of care that you provide...it's the fact that you are doing a job on top of your responsibility as a parent. I do not consider myself "working" on my days off from my job because I am caring for my house and child. THOSE are my days off. My working days are when I get up in the morning, go to work, and provide a service/skill/time to my company. When I get off work, it's my responsibility as a parent, and adult, to care for my daughter and maintain my household with the help of my husband...along with going to work.Still hard, but parenting is not a job, and should not be called one.
Wow. Way to support women and the tough jobs we all have.

I do support all women, and said in a previous post that SAHM have lots of challenges, and it's also hard. I just don't like when it's called a "job"...because it's not.

Is SAHM not a "job" bc I don't get in my car and leave my driveway? Or bc I don't work a 9-5? Oh that's right I work 24/7 365.

pinottoparenthood · December 2013

Erin10408 said:

knitfaced said:

cece2682 said:

cece2682 said:

So is your nanny who stays home with your child all day not working? Is it different somehow because she is watching someone else's kid instead of her own? I think the comparison between working and being a SAHM is silly. They are both jobs and both have unique challenges. I would end up in the loony bin if I had to stay home with my 2 year old all day.
My thoughts exactly. And there are some contradictions here. Some are saying they don't have sympathy for sahm, but that they would go crazy and prefer a job outside of the home. That doesn't make sense. None whatsoever. And for those who said that they view nannying and your daycare providers as working moms and not stay at home moms- HUH!??? Do you not see how contradictory that is?? What's the difference? I can tell you first hand that being a stay at home mom and taking care of my child is the same as nannying or working in a daycare. The only difference is that I get to spend the day with my own child. And I probably have MORE responsibilities home than I would at my nannying jobs. The whole comparison things really annoys me. Why are we comparing? They are both f*@&&(@ WORK in their own respect!!!! End of story. Eta: Pinot I do agree with you when you said its a privilege to be at home with your children. It is. And I don't like when people truly complain about it.

So you're saying taking care of other children is the same as taking care of your own child? This is where I get confused. To me...taking care of my child is not my job. It's my responsibility as a parent. My job is what pays the bills. Daycare providers and nannies get paid to watch others children...that is a job.
I'm not saying that being a SAHM doesn't have it's challenges, and isn't hard. I'm saying its not the same as working outside the home, and it certainly isn't a job.
Of course taking care of my child is my responsibility. But my responsibilities as a parent here with my son is exactly the same as when I am at a nanny job. I am not caring for those children any less because they are not my own. So what I mean is that both carry the exact same responsibilities, expectations, etc. the only difference is its my own baby now. Does that make sense?

So do you consider yourself a SAHM or a working mom? I'm still confused by the statement I highlighted. If you nanny and are paid for it, in my view, you are a working mom. It has nothing to do with the level of care that you provide...it's the fact that you are doing a job on top of your responsibility as a parent. I do not consider myself "working" on my days off from my job because I am caring for my house and child. THOSE are my days off. My working days are when I get up in the morning, go to work, and provide a service/skill/time to my company. When I get off work, it's my responsibility as a parent, and adult, to care for my daughter and maintain my household with the help of my husband...along with going to work.Still hard, but parenting is not a job, and should not be called one.
Wow. Way to support women and the tough jobs we all have.

I do support all women, and said in a previous post that SAHM have lots of challenges, and it's also hard. I just don't like when it's called a "job"...because it's not.

Is SAHM not a "job" bc I don't get in my car and leave my driveway? Or bc I don't work a 9-5? Oh that's right I work 24/7 365.

See, this is annoying, too. Because so do I. Just because I'm a working mom doesn't mean that I don't have to do everything for my child from the moment I get home until the moment I leave for work in the morning. Not saying my husband doesn't help some, but I'm sure yours does, too. It's so dramatic when people are like "oh, I'm a stay at home mom so I work 24/7 with no sick days." So going to my job is a "break"? And when I take a sick day, then I am a SAHM on that day. So I guess I don't get sick days, either.

Erin10408 · December 2013

Luckey4 said:

Erin10408 said:

knitfaced said:

cece2682 said:

cece2682 said:

So is your nanny who stays home with your child all day not working? Is it different somehow because she is watching someone else's kid instead of her own? I think the comparison between working and being a SAHM is silly. They are both jobs and both have unique challenges. I would end up in the loony bin if I had to stay home with my 2 year old all day.
My thoughts exactly. And there are some contradictions here. Some are saying they don't have sympathy for sahm, but that they would go crazy and prefer a job outside of the home. That doesn't make sense. None whatsoever. And for those who said that they view nannying and your daycare providers as working moms and not stay at home moms- HUH!??? Do you not see how contradictory that is?? What's the difference? I can tell you first hand that being a stay at home mom and taking care of my child is the same as nannying or working in a daycare. The only difference is that I get to spend the day with my own child. And I probably have MORE responsibilities home than I would at my nannying jobs. The whole comparison things really annoys me. Why are we comparing? They are both f*@&&(@ WORK in their own respect!!!! End of story. Eta: Pinot I do agree with you when you said its a privilege to be at home with your children. It is. And I don't like when people truly complain about it.

So you're saying taking care of other children is the same as taking care of your own child? This is where I get confused. To me...taking care of my child is not my job. It's my responsibility as a parent. My job is what pays the bills. Daycare providers and nannies get paid to watch others children...that is a job.
I'm not saying that being a SAHM doesn't have it's challenges, and isn't hard. I'm saying its not the same as working outside the home, and it certainly isn't a job.
Of course taking care of my child is my responsibility. But my responsibilities as a parent here with my son is exactly the same as when I am at a nanny job. I am not caring for those children any less because they are not my own. So what I mean is that both carry the exact same responsibilities, expectations, etc. the only difference is its my own baby now. Does that make sense?

So do you consider yourself a SAHM or a working mom? I'm still confused by the statement I highlighted. If you nanny and are paid for it, in my view, you are a working mom. It has nothing to do with the level of care that you provide...it's the fact that you are doing a job on top of your responsibility as a parent. I do not consider myself "working" on my days off from my job because I am caring for my house and child. THOSE are my days off. My working days are when I get up in the morning, go to work, and provide a service/skill/time to my company. When I get off work, it's my responsibility as a parent, and adult, to care for my daughter and maintain my household with the help of my husband...along with going to work.Still hard, but parenting is not a job, and should not be called one.
Wow. Way to support women and the tough jobs we all have.

I do support all women, and said in a previous post that SAHM have lots of challenges, and it's also hard. I just don't like when it's called a "job"...because it's not.

Is SAHM not a "job" bc I don't get in my car and leave my driveway? Or bc I don't work a 9-5? Oh that's right I work 24/7 365.

When I go to my 9-5 job (actually, 7-5:30), I certainly do more than get in my car and leave my driveway, and it's insulting to suggest otherwise. As I said before..three times...being a SAHM is hard work and challenging. But I care for my child and home as your do, and go to a job as well. Doesn't mean I'm better, or you're better. But I stick to my guns...it is not a job.

As for the 24/7, 365 comment...I do that too.

minerswife17 · December 2013

Taking care of a baby all day everyday is hard work. People on this board have even said they couldn't imagine being a SAHM. It's not for everyone.

Erin10408 · December 2013

Luckey4 said:

Taking care of a baby all day everyday is hard work. People on this board have even said they couldn't imagine being a SAHM. It's not for everyone.

You bet your ass it's hard work. So is going to my job...being away from my child. I don't back my car out of the driveway as you insinuated and have 10 hours of free time where I dilly dally and thank my lucky stars that someone else is watching my baby.

hatroopes · December 2013

Erin10408 said:

knitfaced said:

cece2682 said:

cece2682 said:

So is your nanny who stays home with your child all day not working? Is it different somehow because she is watching someone else's kid instead of her own? I think the comparison between working and being a SAHM is silly. They are both jobs and both have unique challenges. I would end up in the loony bin if I had to stay home with my 2 year old all day.
My thoughts exactly. And there are some contradictions here. Some are saying they don't have sympathy for sahm, but that they would go crazy and prefer a job outside of the home. That doesn't make sense. None whatsoever. And for those who said that they view nannying and your daycare providers as working moms and not stay at home moms- HUH!??? Do you not see how contradictory that is?? What's the difference? I can tell you first hand that being a stay at home mom and taking care of my child is the same as nannying or working in a daycare. The only difference is that I get to spend the day with my own child. And I probably have MORE responsibilities home than I would at my nannying jobs. The whole comparison things really annoys me. Why are we comparing? They are both f*@&&(@ WORK in their own respect!!!! End of story. Eta: Pinot I do agree with you when you said its a privilege to be at home with your children. It is. And I don't like when people truly complain about it.

So you're saying taking care of other children is the same as taking care of your own child? This is where I get confused. To me...taking care of my child is not my job. It's my responsibility as a parent. My job is what pays the bills. Daycare providers and nannies get paid to watch others children...that is a job.
I'm not saying that being a SAHM doesn't have it's challenges, and isn't hard. I'm saying its not the same as working outside the home, and it certainly isn't a job.
Of course taking care of my child is my responsibility. But my responsibilities as a parent here with my son is exactly the same as when I am at a nanny job. I am not caring for those children any less because they are not my own. So what I mean is that both carry the exact same responsibilities, expectations, etc. the only difference is its my own baby now. Does that make sense?

So do you consider yourself a SAHM or a working mom? I'm still confused by the statement I highlighted. If you nanny and are paid for it, in my view, you are a working mom. It has nothing to do with the level of care that you provide...it's the fact that you are doing a job on top of your responsibility as a parent. I do not consider myself "working" on my days off from my job because I am caring for my house and child. THOSE are my days off. My working days are when I get up in the morning, go to work, and provide a service/skill/time to my company. When I get off work, it's my responsibility as a parent, and adult, to care for my daughter and maintain my household with the help of my husband...along with going to work.Still hard, but parenting is not a job, and should not be called one.
Wow. Way to support women and the tough jobs we all have.

I do support all women, and said in a previous post that SAHM have lots of challenges, and it's also hard. I just don't like when it's called a "job"...because it's not.

A local TV station here did a segment that tallied up all the duties that a SAHM does/should be doing, then came up with how much they would get paid if it was a paying job. I rolled my eyes so hard at that! If they're going to get paid for it, then so should working moms because we still have to do those chores.

minerswife17 · December 2013

Erin10408 said:

Luckey4 said:

Taking care of a baby all day everyday is hard work. People on this board have even said they couldn't imagine being a SAHM. It's not for everyone.

You bet your ass it's hard work. So is going to my job...being away from my child. I don't back my car out of the driveway as you insinuated and have 10 hours of free time where I dilly dally and thank my lucky stars that someone else is watching my baby.

I'm sure it's hard to be away from your LO, I don't doubt that for one second. I wasn't trying to start WW3 but I believe that SAHM is a job. We can agree to disagree.

bhjones1980 · December 2013

pinottoparenthood said:

So going to my job is a "break"? And when I take a sick day, then I am a SAHM on that day. So I guess I don't get sick days, either.

This ^^^ was going to be my comment too... guess what I do on my "sick days" or "vacation days" from working outside the home? Be a SAHM

[Deleted User] · December 2013

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[Deleted User] · December 2013

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pinottoparenthood · December 2013

hatroopes said:

Erin10408 said:

knitfaced said:

cece2682 said:

cece2682 said:

So is your nanny who stays home with your child all day not working? Is it different somehow because she is watching someone else's kid instead of her own? I think the comparison between working and being a SAHM is silly. They are both jobs and both have unique challenges. I would end up in the loony bin if I had to stay home with my 2 year old all day.
My thoughts exactly. And there are some contradictions here. Some are saying they don't have sympathy for sahm, but that they would go crazy and prefer a job outside of the home. That doesn't make sense. None whatsoever. And for those who said that they view nannying and your daycare providers as working moms and not stay at home moms- HUH!??? Do you not see how contradictory that is?? What's the difference? I can tell you first hand that being a stay at home mom and taking care of my child is the same as nannying or working in a daycare. The only difference is that I get to spend the day with my own child. And I probably have MORE responsibilities home than I would at my nannying jobs. The whole comparison things really annoys me. Why are we comparing? They are both f*@&&(@ WORK in their own respect!!!! End of story. Eta: Pinot I do agree with you when you said its a privilege to be at home with your children. It is. And I don't like when people truly complain about it.

So you're saying taking care of other children is the same as taking care of your own child? This is where I get confused. To me...taking care of my child is not my job. It's my responsibility as a parent. My job is what pays the bills. Daycare providers and nannies get paid to watch others children...that is a job.
I'm not saying that being a SAHM doesn't have it's challenges, and isn't hard. I'm saying its not the same as working outside the home, and it certainly isn't a job.
Of course taking care of my child is my responsibility. But my responsibilities as a parent here with my son is exactly the same as when I am at a nanny job. I am not caring for those children any less because they are not my own. So what I mean is that both carry the exact same responsibilities, expectations, etc. the only difference is its my own baby now. Does that make sense?

So do you consider yourself a SAHM or a working mom? I'm still confused by the statement I highlighted. If you nanny and are paid for it, in my view, you are a working mom. It has nothing to do with the level of care that you provide...it's the fact that you are doing a job on top of your responsibility as a parent. I do not consider myself "working" on my days off from my job because I am caring for my house and child. THOSE are my days off. My working days are when I get up in the morning, go to work, and provide a service/skill/time to my company. When I get off work, it's my responsibility as a parent, and adult, to care for my daughter and maintain my household with the help of my husband...along with going to work.Still hard, but parenting is not a job, and should not be called one.
Wow. Way to support women and the tough jobs we all have.

I do support all women, and said in a previous post that SAHM have lots of challenges, and it's also hard. I just don't like when it's called a "job"...because it's not.

A local TV station here did a segment that tallied up all the duties that a SAHM does/should be doing, then came up with how much they would get paid if it was a paying job. I rolled my eyes so hard at that.

But like JSS said, I do all of that stuff too, on top of my job. I still do all the cooking, cleaning, and laundry while caring for my child. I just have to do it very efficiently on nights and weekends. Anyway, this is turning into a which is harder kind of debate, which wasn't my intention. That is going to vary from individual to individual and depends on a multitude of various factors.

MsAmeera25 · December 2013

I don't get why SAHM complain what's so hard? The baby naps = time to yourself. You and baby can hang around the house watch tv take a nap together. At my job outside of my lunch I cant just have down time. ie watching tv hanging out on the bump texting my friends. I think SAHM moms who complain alot arent doing it right. I mean how out of the 7 days in a week if u clean once and pick up daily you shouldnt be spending all day cleaning. IF you plan your weeks you shouldnt be spending all day cooking so whats the big deal actually watching your kid? I don't get what the big deal is especially at this age where our kids are busy exploring and becoming more dependent each day. Flame Away but even when ppl post their schedules of what they do all day in my mind I read them and think they need better time management skills but that may be my "working" mom mentality.

JSS1002 · December 2013

I think staying at home with kids is a ton of work. One of my best friends is a SAHM of 3 kids - she left a pretty big time career to do it. And she says it is harder. I believe her.

I don't think nannying is the same as being a SAHM. For one thing, you're PAID to do that - it is truly a job. That's how I define "job." Something you get paid for.

But that doesn't mean staying home is easy. Or necessarily a luxury. And if you don't stay at home, it doesn't mean somebody else is raising your child. Good grief. are you going to apply that logic when kindergarden starts? I better homeschool so that nobody else is raising my child?

And it doesn't mean that those who work outside the home have any less responsibility AT home once the paid working day is over. I walk in the door, start dinner, feed my family, do the dishes, take care of the child, get him to bed, get prepped for the next day, collapse into bed, get up at 6, race to get him ready, bring him to school (BTW, this also entails full makeup and hair and a suit and heels and a 45 minute commute), spend my sleep-deprived day trying to sound like I can put intellectual statements together in my head and solve complex problems, then spend 45 minutes in traffic home, and do it all over again.

If i stayed home, it would be a whole different set of responsibilities that might not be as intellectually difficult, but are about 100X more difficult in other ways (patience, no adult conversations, frustration, isolation, etc).

Being a teacher is also a kind of "hard' that I would never personally take on -- which is why I didn't go into teaching. Dealing with parents has got to be a special kind of hell that I don't think I could handle.

Being in corporate America also has its own set of "hard" that a lot of people wouldn't sign up for. I could write a novel on this one.

When I was home with my kid on extended maternity leave, it was hard. But not in the same way my professional job was hard. It was hard in that I was bored, I was tired, i was cranky, isolated, I felt like my brain was melting, and I was crabby all the time. I don't feel that way anymore while at work, but I have a whole other set of emotions about work that come with the territory of not staying home.

I think that CLEARLY, SAHM or WM, the only sound and strategic decision is to win the fucking lottery and hire a maid.

The end.

Erin10408 · December 2013

CoffeeMonster19 said:

PIP fail.

Ah Sweet Brown...love her.

No mommy wars here...I never questioned the fact that SAHM is challenging. Other posters insinuated that I get a break because I go to work. Which is a giant load of BS.

Erin10408 · December 2013

pinottoparenthood said:

hatroopes said:

Erin10408 said:

knitfaced said:

cece2682 said:

cece2682 said:

So is your nanny who stays home with your child all day not working? Is it different somehow because she is watching someone else's kid instead of her own? I think the comparison between working and being a SAHM is silly. They are both jobs and both have unique challenges. I would end up in the loony bin if I had to stay home with my 2 year old all day.
My thoughts exactly. And there are some contradictions here. Some are saying they don't have sympathy for sahm, but that they would go crazy and prefer a job outside of the home. That doesn't make sense. None whatsoever. And for those who said that they view nannying and your daycare providers as working moms and not stay at home moms- HUH!??? Do you not see how contradictory that is?? What's the difference? I can tell you first hand that being a stay at home mom and taking care of my child is the same as nannying or working in a daycare. The only difference is that I get to spend the day with my own child. And I probably have MORE responsibilities home than I would at my nannying jobs. The whole comparison things really annoys me. Why are we comparing? They are both f*@&&(@ WORK in their own respect!!!! End of story. Eta: Pinot I do agree with you when you said its a privilege to be at home with your children. It is. And I don't like when people truly complain about it.

So you're saying taking care of other children is the same as taking care of your own child? This is where I get confused. To me...taking care of my child is not my job. It's my responsibility as a parent. My job is what pays the bills. Daycare providers and nannies get paid to watch others children...that is a job.
I'm not saying that being a SAHM doesn't have it's challenges, and isn't hard. I'm saying its not the same as working outside the home, and it certainly isn't a job.
Of course taking care of my child is my responsibility. But my responsibilities as a parent here with my son is exactly the same as when I am at a nanny job. I am not caring for those children any less because they are not my own. So what I mean is that both carry the exact same responsibilities, expectations, etc. the only difference is its my own baby now. Does that make sense?

So do you consider yourself a SAHM or a working mom? I'm still confused by the statement I highlighted. If you nanny and are paid for it, in my view, you are a working mom. It has nothing to do with the level of care that you provide...it's the fact that you are doing a job on top of your responsibility as a parent. I do not consider myself "working" on my days off from my job because I am caring for my house and child. THOSE are my days off. My working days are when I get up in the morning, go to work, and provide a service/skill/time to my company. When I get off work, it's my responsibility as a parent, and adult, to care for my daughter and maintain my household with the help of my husband...along with going to work.Still hard, but parenting is not a job, and should not be called one.
Wow. Way to support women and the tough jobs we all have.

I do support all women, and said in a previous post that SAHM have lots of challenges, and it's also hard. I just don't like when it's called a "job"...because it's not.

A local TV station here did a segment that tallied up all the duties that a SAHM does/should be doing, then came up with how much they would get paid if it was a paying job. I rolled my eyes so hard at that.

But like JSS said, I do all of that stuff too, on top of my job. I still do all the cooking, cleaning, and laundry while caring for my child. I just have to do it very efficiently on nights and weekends. Anyway, this is turning into a which is harder kind of debate, which wasn't my intention. That is going to vary from individual to individual and depends on a multitude of various factors.

Exactly...I do all the SAHM stuff...on nights and weekends.

kelsea1031 · December 2013

pinottoparenthood said:

hatroopes said:

Erin10408 said:

knitfaced said:

Erin10408 said:

cece2682 said:

Erin10408 said:

cece2682 said:

Kate_C said:
So is your nanny who stays home with your child all day not working? Is it different somehow because she is watching someone else's kid instead of her own?

I think the comparison between working and being a SAHM is silly. They are both jobs and both have unique challenges. I would end up in the loony bin if I had to stay home with my 2 year old all day.
My thoughts exactly. And there are some contradictions here. Some are saying they don't have sympathy for sahm, but that they would go crazy and prefer a job outside of the home. That doesn't make sense. None whatsoever.

And for those who said that they view nannying and your daycare providers as working moms and not stay at home moms- HUH!??? Do you not see how contradictory that is?? What's the difference? I can tell you first hand that being a stay at home mom and taking care of my child is the same as nannying or working in a daycare. The only difference is that I get to spend the day with my own child. And I probably have MORE responsibilities home than I would at my nannying jobs.

The whole comparison things really annoys me. Why are we comparing? They are both f*@&&(@ WORK in their own respect!!!! End of story.

Eta: Pinot I do agree with you when you said its a privilege to be at home with your children. It is. And I don't like when people truly complain about it.

So you're saying taking care of other children is the same as taking care of your own child? This is where I get confused. To me...taking care of my child is not my job. It's my responsibility as a parent. My job is what pays the bills. Daycare providers and nannies get paid to watch others children...that is a job.
I'm not saying that being a SAHM doesn't have it's challenges, and isn't hard. I'm saying its not the same as working outside the home, and it certainly isn't a job.
Of course taking care of my child is my responsibility. But my responsibilities as a parent here with my son is exactly the same as when I am at a nanny job. I am not caring for those children any less because they are not my own. So what I mean is that both carry the exact same responsibilities, expectations, etc. the only difference is its my own baby now. Does that make sense?

So do you consider yourself a SAHM or a working mom? I'm still confused by the statement I highlighted. If you nanny and are paid for it, in my view, you are a working mom. It has nothing to do with the level of care that you provide...it's the fact that you are doing a job on top of your responsibility as a parent. I do not consider myself "working" on my days off from my job because I am caring for my house and child. THOSE are my days off. My working days are when I get up in the morning, go to work, and provide a service/skill/time to my company. When I get off work, it's my responsibility as a parent, and adult, to care for my daughter and maintain my household with the help of my husband...along with going to work.Still hard, but parenting is not a job, and should not be called one.

Wow. Way to support women and the tough jobs we all have.

I do support all women, and said in a previous post that SAHM have lots of challenges, and it's also hard. I just don't like when it's called a "job"...because it's not.

A local TV station here did a segment that tallied up all the duties that a SAHM does/should be doing, then came up with how much they would get paid if it was a paying job. I rolled my eyes so hard at that.

But like JSS said, I do all of that stuff too, on top of my job. I still do all the cooking, cleaning, and laundry while caring for my child. I just have to do it very efficiently on nights and weekends. Anyway, this is turning into a which is harder kind of debate, which wasn't my intention. That is going to vary from individual to individual and depends on a multitude of various factors.

I would trim this quote tree but my phone won't let me. This 'debate' is ridiculous because there's no right or wrong. I will say this regarding the bolded. This drives me batty about the comparisons between working moms and SAHMs. During the day, 9-5 if you will, I don't spend my days doing laundry, cooking, and cleaning. I spend my day caring for my kids, feeding them, changing diapers, disciplining, teaching, interacting, etc. When that day is over, in the evenings, that's when I cram in the bulk of the laundry, cleaning the house, bill paying, meal planning, etc., all while still being responsible for caring for my children. Now yes, if my kid spills a drink, I'll clean it up but I'm not scrubbing toilets while my LO is entertaining herself. Sure it's easy to do all that housekeeping stuff when baby is tiny and sleeps most of the day but not so much when they're mobile. And forget about it when you have more than one kid.

I'm a SAHM, not a cleaning lady. My job during the day is to care of my children, similar to what a nanny or daycare might do. My job title is not maid or cook. I do all of those on top of childcare, just like working moms do all of those on top of their outside-the-home job.

ceamac0127 · December 2013

I got so excited to see 3 pages of UO when I logged in today!

As for SAHM vs. WM: both sides had time to get on the bump today and argue so we can at least agree upon the fact that we all get breaks during the day

(my attempt at lightening the mood...)

[Deleted User] · December 2013

The user and all related content has been deleted.

kelsea1031 · December 2013

MsAmeera25 said:
I don't get why SAHM complain what's so hard? The baby naps = time to yourself. You and baby can hang around the house watch tv take a nap together. At my job outside of my lunch I cant just have down time. ie watching tv hanging out on the bump texting my friends. I think SAHM moms who complain alot arent doing it right. I mean how out of the 7 days in a week if u clean once and pick up daily you shouldnt be spending all day cleaning. IF you plan your weeks you shouldnt be spending all day cooking so whats the big deal actually watching your kid? I don't get what the big deal is especially at this age where our kids are busy exploring and becoming more dependent each day. Flame Away but even when ppl post their schedules of what they do all day in my mind I read them and think they need better time management skills but that may be my "working" mom mentality.

This doesn't work when you have more than one child, especially ones who don't nap at the same time.

KrisM86 · December 2013

MsAmeera25 said:
I don't get why SAHM complain what's so hard? The baby naps = time to yourself. You and baby can hang around the house watch tv take a nap together. At my job outside of my lunch I cant just have down time. ie watching tv hanging out on the bump texting my friends. I think SAHM moms who complain alot arent doing it right. I mean how out of the 7 days in a week if u clean once and pick up daily you shouldnt be spending all day cleaning. IF you plan your weeks you shouldnt be spending all day cooking so whats the big deal actually watching your kid? I don't get what the big deal is especially at this age where our kids are busy exploring and becoming more dependent each day. Flame Away but even when ppl post their schedules of what they do all day in my mind I read them and think they need better time management skills but that may be my "working" mom mentality.

Good lord. First of all, for those of us that have more than one kid, they may not nap at the same time or at all. There are many days that go by where my kids' naps don't overlap at all and I literally don't have one minute to myself all day. I'm assuming you get to pee uninterrupted at your job, right? Yeah, that's not a given for me.

I'm not going to say that being a SAHM or a working mom is harder. They're different and both hard. But you saying that there isn't anything hard about being a SAHM? Seriously? I guess you think parenting is always easy then?

ChicagoBroad26 · December 2013

OMG. QUIT IT WITH THE F-ING QUOTE TREES.

tondraluv · December 2013

christineeberle said:

I dislike how people have benefits for everything. It's one thing to have a benefit for someone who truely needs financial help with medical bills due to whatever medical issues they are having. But SO's best friend and wife just had one for their baby son who had some medical issues. While it is very sad and I feel for them (the baby is fine now and doing well) they both come from very well off families and do well for themselves. Maybe it is just the town where I come from but I see it all the time.

I agree with you. This irks the shit out of me at work. I have sooooo many well-to-do clients who are trying to get subsidies under the ACA while there are ppl out there who truly need this help. Wasting my time.

Lhyacinth888 · December 2013

MsAmeera25 said:
I don't get why SAHM complain what's so hard? The baby naps = time to yourself. You and baby can hang around the house watch tv take a nap together. At my job outside of my lunch I cant just have down time. ie watching tv hanging out on the bump texting my friends. I think SAHM moms who complain alot arent doing it right. I mean how out of the 7 days in a week if u clean once and pick up daily you shouldnt be spending all day cleaning. IF you plan your weeks you shouldnt be spending all day cooking so whats the big deal actually watching your kid? I don't get what the big deal is especially at this age where our kids are busy exploring and becoming more dependent each day. Flame Away but even when ppl post their schedules of what they do all day in my mind I read them and think they need better time management skills but that may be my "working" mom mentality.

Some SAHM's have more than one child so it's not so easy to nap when the baby naps when your toddler doesn't nap... And toddlers tear up your house and (I'm potty training) bathrooms ALL DAY LONG. I clean the whole house at least twice a day.

Like I said in my earlier post, it's difficult for all mom's- working and ones who stay at home. It's hard to see both sides until you have done both and even then every situation and family is different.

MsAmeera25 · December 2013

KrisM86 said:

I don't get why SAHM complain what's so hard? The baby naps = time to yourself. You and baby can hang around the house watch tv take a nap together. At my job outside of my lunch I cant just have down time. ie watching tv hanging out on the bump texting my friends. I think SAHM moms who complain alot arent doing it right. I mean how out of the 7 days in a week if u clean once and pick up daily you shouldnt be spending all day cleaning. IF you plan your weeks you shouldnt be spending all day cooking so whats the big deal actually watching your kid? I don't get what the big deal is especially at this age where our kids are busy exploring and becoming more dependent each day. Flame Away but even when ppl post their schedules of what they do all day in my mind I read them and think they need better time management skills but that may be my "working" mom mentality.
Good lord. First of all, for those of us that have more than one kid, they may not nap at the same time or at all. There are many days that go by where my kids' naps don't overlap at all and I literally don't have one minute to myself all day. I'm assuming you get to pee uninterrupted at your job, right? Yeah, that's not a given for me. I'm not going to say that being a SAHM or a working mom is harder. They're different and both hard. But you saying that there isn't anything hard about being a SAHM? Seriously? I guess you think parenting is always easy then?

So is it harder because it's more than one kid? SAHM moms with one kid complain too and I just don't get it.

ceamac0127 · December 2013

I didn't think Anchorman was that funny and I probably will not go see the 2nd

superToots · December 2013

woah, I only left for the grocery store and story time.... didn't think this would blow up so bad.

most intense UO in a long time.

camdensmom32 · December 2013

MsAmeera25 said:

KrisM86 said:

I don't get why SAHM complain what's so hard? The baby naps = time to yourself. You and baby can hang around the house watch tv take a nap together. At my job outside of my lunch I cant just have down time. ie watching tv hanging out on the bump texting my friends. I think SAHM moms who complain alot arent doing it right. I mean how out of the 7 days in a week if u clean once and pick up daily you shouldnt be spending all day cleaning. IF you plan your weeks you shouldnt be spending all day cooking so whats the big deal actually watching your kid? I don't get what the big deal is especially at this age where our kids are busy exploring and becoming more dependent each day. Flame Away but even when ppl post their schedules of what they do all day in my mind I read them and think they need better time management skills but that may be my "working" mom mentality.
Good lord. First of all, for those of us that have more than one kid, they may not nap at the same time or at all. There are many days that go by where my kids' naps don't overlap at all and I literally don't have one minute to myself all day. I'm assuming you get to pee uninterrupted at your job, right? Yeah, that's not a given for me. I'm not going to say that being a SAHM or a working mom is harder. They're different and both hard. But you saying that there isn't anything hard about being a SAHM? Seriously? I guess you think parenting is always easy then?

So is it harder because it's more than one kid? SAHM moms with one kid complain too and I just don't get it.

Like other posts said every family and situation is different. I found it to be very hard being a SAHM. My son is usually pretty fussy and needy and I spent most of my day trying to entertain him and make him happy and it's very exhausting!! 10 hours a day alone with a fussy baby is by far more difficult than any job I've done. But that's my opinion.

ceamac0127 · December 2013

superToots said:

woah, I only left for the grocery store and story time.... didn't think this would blow up so bad. most intense UO in a long time.

go @pinottoparenthood for livening this place up!

Lhyacinth888 · December 2013

MsAmeera25 said:

KrisM86 said:

I don't get why SAHM complain what's so hard? The baby naps = time to yourself. You and baby can hang around the house watch tv take a nap together. At my job outside of my lunch I cant just have down time. ie watching tv hanging out on the bump texting my friends. I think SAHM moms who complain alot arent doing it right. I mean how out of the 7 days in a week if u clean once and pick up daily you shouldnt be spending all day cleaning. IF you plan your weeks you shouldnt be spending all day cooking so whats the big deal actually watching your kid? I don't get what the big deal is especially at this age where our kids are busy exploring and becoming more dependent each day. Flame Away but even when ppl post their schedules of what they do all day in my mind I read them and think they need better time management skills but that may be my "working" mom mentality.
Good lord. First of all, for those of us that have more than one kid, they may not nap at the same time or at all. There are many days that go by where my kids' naps don't overlap at all and I literally don't have one minute to myself all day. I'm assuming you get to pee uninterrupted at your job, right? Yeah, that's not a given for me. I'm not going to say that being a SAHM or a working mom is harder. They're different and both hard. But you saying that there isn't anything hard about being a SAHM? Seriously? I guess you think parenting is always easy then?

So is it harder because it's more than one kid? SAHM moms with one kid complain too and I just don't get it.

Sometimes it's hard to put yourself in someone else's shoes. And good gracious, yes a toddler makes being a SAHM harder (for me at least)! That being said I don't really complain. I love my kids and love what I do but my main point is that it's not an easy thing to do- we don't sit around eating bon-bons and napping. I'm sure there are some SAHM's that are lazy and have poor time management but speaking for myself, it's a hard and rewarding "job". Would I like to pee for 3 minutes by myself, yes. Would I change my life for that 3 minute pee, no.

hatroopes · December 2013

Lhyacinth888 said:

KrisM86 said:

I don't get why SAHM complain what's so hard? The baby naps = time to yourself. You and baby can hang around the house watch tv take a nap together. At my job outside of my lunch I cant just have down time. ie watching tv hanging out on the bump texting my friends. I think SAHM moms who complain alot arent doing it right. I mean how out of the 7 days in a week if u clean once and pick up daily you shouldnt be spending all day cleaning. IF you plan your weeks you shouldnt be spending all day cooking so whats the big deal actually watching your kid? I don't get what the big deal is especially at this age where our kids are busy exploring and becoming more dependent each day. Flame Away but even when ppl post their schedules of what they do all day in my mind I read them and think they need better time management skills but that may be my "working" mom mentality.
Good lord. First of all, for those of us that have more than one kid, they may not nap at the same time or at all. There are many days that go by where my kids' naps don't overlap at all and I literally don't have one minute to myself all day. I'm assuming you get to pee uninterrupted at your job, right? Yeah, that's not a given for me. I'm not going to say that being a SAHM or a working mom is harder. They're different and both hard. But you saying that there isn't anything hard about being a SAHM? Seriously? I guess you think parenting is always easy then?

So is it harder because it's more than one kid? SAHM moms with one kid complain too and I just don't get it.
Sometimes it's hard to put yourself in someone else's shoes. And good gracious, yes a toddler makes being a SAHM harder (for me at least)! That being said I don't really complain. I love my kids and love what I do but my main point is that it's not an easy thing to do- we don't sit around eating bon-bons and napping. I'm sure there are some SAHM's that are lazy and have poor time management but speaking for myself, it's a hard and rewarding "job". Would I like to pee for 3 minutes by myself, yes. Would I change my life for that 3 minute pee, no.

Okay, why does every SAHM complain about not being able to pee by themselves? I really don't get it! Especially those with one kid. Can't you put them in their crib or play pen and go handle your business for a few minutes? This just seems to be the one thing most SAHMs complain about...

lilbit0910 · December 2013

I don't think anyone is saying that being a SAHM is not difficult. But it is a privilege not everyone has.

skidderdo · December 2013

ChicagoBroad26 said:
Channing Tatum is ugly.

It's like we were separated at birth.....

Erin10408 · December 2013

I would trim this quote tree but my phone won't let me. This 'debate' is ridiculous because there's no right or wrong. I will say this regarding the bolded. This drives me batty about the comparisons between working moms and SAHMs. During the day, 9-5 if you will, I don't spend my days doing laundry, cooking, and cleaning. I spend my day caring for my kids, feeding them, changing diapers, disciplining, teaching, interacting, etc. When that day is over, in the evenings, that's when I cram in the bulk of the laundry, cleaning the house, bill paying, meal planning, etc., all while still being responsible for caring for my children. Now yes, if my kid spills a drink, I'll clean it up but I'm not scrubbing toilets while my LO is entertaining herself. Sure it's easy to do all that housekeeping stuff when baby is tiny and sleeps most of the day but not so much when they're mobile. And forget about it when you have more than one kid. I'm a SAHM, not a cleaning lady. My job during the day is to care of my children, similar to what a nanny or daycare might do. My job title is not maid or cook. I do all of those on top of childcare, just like working moms do all of those on top of their outside-the-home job.

Working is a part of the way I care for my child...bringing home income to take care of her needs. Just because I'm working from 7-5:30 doesn't mean I'm not caring for my child during that time. I check in, I pump every 3 hours, etc. That is providing care as well. Just as it drives SAHM's nuts that some people think that they don't do anything all day, it drives me nuts when SAHM say "well, I'm CARING for my child all day". Yes, you are....because you are a parent. One that has the opportunity or has made the choice to stay at home with your child and not be in the workforce. And thats great...but it is not a job.

I was home on maternity leave for 12 weeks. And yes...some days were exhausting.Some days I wanted to cry from being lonely. I think @jss1002 said it best that it's different kinds of challenges. But when people put things on FB or make statements like "being a mommy IS my job" or "I work 365/24/7", it drives me nuts. I think of it this way...would you want your kid to see that someday? That raising him/her was SO MUCH WORK, and harder than any job? Duh. It's parenting. The hardest, scariest, and most rewarding experience in the world.

Sol1790 · December 2013

skidderdo said:

ChicagoBroad26 said:
Channing Tatum is ugly.

It's like we were separated at birth.....

Seriously ladies??? Agh! I disagree,he may not be the best looking guy but he is not ugly.

I see nothing but sexiness

skidderdo · December 2013

Sol1790 said:

skidderdo said:

ChicagoBroad26 said:
Channing Tatum is ugly.

It's like we were separated at birth.....
Seriously ladies??? Agh! I disagree,he may not be the best looking guy but he is not ugly.
I see nothing but sexiness

If his eyes were any closer together he would be a cyclops.

Erin10408 · December 2013

skidderdo said:

Channing Tatum is ugly.

It's like we were separated at birth.....
Seriously ladies??? Agh! I disagree,he may not be the best looking guy but he is not ugly. I see nothing but sexiness
If his eyes were any closer together he would be a cyclops.

I just spit my water out laughing.

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