* UO Thursday *

Salsera29 · December 2013

AutumnBonfire said:

I hate how every time there is a lack of sex thread someone always comments about those poor husbands and hopes they get handjobs. Um, no. This really bothers the feminist in me. It is not my duty to take care of him, especially when I feel horrible. He's turned me down for reasons such as being tired and I didn't feel like he wasn't doing his husbandly duty. If he needs to take care of things, he can use his own hand. I'll be busy trying to stay awake, not puke, and find food I actually want to eat.

I completely agree. I also think he would say he does a better job of it than me, anyway. I don't really know of too many grown men who are into handjobs. BJs, sure, but that's not gonna happen either.

ddubzz · December 2013

Ugh, this post is not working!

Salsera29 · December 2013

Oh I thought of another one. It irritates me when people start bringing God into discussions on TB. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, yes, but when you start throwing around God or the Bible as reasons for things, I lose all respect for you. Sure this is a message board and everyone is entitled to say whatever they want...but then I'm entitled to be irritated by it.

Along those same lines, it really pisses me off when people say they are "blessed." As in, "We just saw a healthy fetus and heard the h/b, we are so blessed." So, what does that mean to people who lost their baby? Are they cursed? It's just such a smug, obnoxious things to say.

hab83 · December 2013

Salsera29 said:
Oh I thought of another one. It irritates me when people start bringing God into discussions on TB. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, yes, but when you start throwing around God or the Bible as reasons for things, I lose all respect for you. Sure this is a message board and everyone is entitled to say whatever they want...but then I'm entitled to be irritated by it.

Along those same lines, it really pisses me off when people say they are "blessed." As in, "We just saw a healthy fetus and heard the h/b, we are so blessed." So, what does that mean to people who lost their baby? Are they cursed? It's just such a smug, obnoxious things to say.

Have you seen this? Goes along the same lines.
https://jaysondbradley.com/2013/01/06/3-phrases-christians-should-quit-relying-on/

AKbadwolf · December 2013

BPaws said:

mandie727 said:

Im piggy backing.. and at urgent care so im too lazy/sick to quote... -My husband is gone.. a lot. I am a single mother 90% of the time. I was moved to a new state and 6 days later, my husband left for 3 months. Even when he is gone 10 days at a time, its hard. Dont judge too hard. Its not easy doing everything by yourself....

That was my UO. My DH is in the military and we have been through deployments a month after moving to a new base, they are not fun, but my point is that we still have his benefits and paychecks. I just don't think the 2 situations are the same and shouldn't be used as apples to apples.
************************* My DF works out of town a lot. I do 90% of everything. It's hard, but I would never consider myself a single parent, because at the end of the day I have someone in this with me, even if he's not physically present. I also don't have to worry about incredible heinous things happening to him while he's out of town working. It's not easy having him gone- but I wouldn't dare compare it to a deployment. I think military families go through an INCREDIBLE amount of stress and pain that other people can't even begin to fathom. I definitely do not think it's fair to compare single parenting to military deployment. They are both difficult, incredibly difficult- but I think it's ridiculous to compare them. They are seperate entities entirely.

Having both been a single parent (for 10 years) and a parent while my husband deployed, I can honestly say it is hard in different ways. I wouldn't compare either of them and I would never say one was harder than the other because its just not true.

hab83 · December 2013

I don't know how much of a UO this is, but I can't stand Taylor Swift. Yuck.

Salsera29 · December 2013

hab83 said:

Oh I thought of another one. It irritates me when people start bringing God into discussions on TB. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, yes, but when you start throwing around God or the Bible as reasons for things, I lose all respect for you. Sure this is a message board and everyone is entitled to say whatever they want...but then I'm entitled to be irritated by it.

Along those same lines, it really pisses me off when people say they are "blessed." As in, "We just saw a healthy fetus and heard the h/b, we are so blessed." So, what does that mean to people who lost their baby? Are they cursed? It's just such a smug, obnoxious things to say.
Have you seen this? Goes along the same lines. https://jaysondbradley.com/2013/01/06/3-phrases-christians-should-quit-relying-on/

I just read it. Great article!

Salsera29 · December 2013

TheAnne said:

Salsera29 said:

Oh I thought of another one. It irritates me when people start bringing God into discussions on TB. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, yes, but when you start throwing around God or the Bible as reasons for things, I lose all respect for you. Sure this is a message board and everyone is entitled to say whatever they want...but then I'm entitled to be irritated by it.

Along those same lines, it really pisses me off when people say they are "blessed." As in, "We just saw a healthy fetus and heard the h/b, we are so blessed." So, what does that mean to people who lost their baby? Are they cursed? It's just such a smug, obnoxious things to say.

I understand where your coming from but for the most part, disagree. I am not really a religious person and never have been much of one, but I think it's equally obnoxious to say "don't be religious near me." When saying that you feel blessed because of something or acknowledging god's (perceived) role in something is being religious to many people and not being contrived. It's just how they view the world and things that happen within it. I think telling you to pray or to leave it up to god is way overstepping and uncalled for. But people that are religious often just have it in their lives so much that to not mention god or blessings would be so foreign to that person.

If someone wants to say Mozel Tov when they hear my pregnancy news, I'm not going to get huffy because it's not what I believe in. I think freedom of religion is not just choosing one, but choosing, period.

ETA: I don't ever offer religious wishes to people because, like I said, I am not really religious. However, I would feel really uncomfortable implying that people couldn't express their pleasure, positivity, joy, happiness etc... with me because of the mention of religion in the way they say it. Now, negative things people say to others are reprehensible, no matter if there's religion involved or not.

I agree with you that it's unfair to say, "Don't be religious around me." That's why I made this my UO, and generally don't comment to posters who do it. I won't mention it again after this thread, but I'm sure I've gotten myself on some post-its. I think it's ok to say, "This bothers me" and then leave it alone. I also oversimplified a little because I didn't want to over-explain my POV.

ETA: To be fair, there's nothing wrong with bringing up God. The fact that it bothers me personally doesn't make it wrong.

I stand by my position on the "We're so blessed" comment though. What does "blessed" mean, exactly? Maybe I'm wrong but they way I understand it is that the person is saying that God has somehow favored them, that they are special. They have been chosen to receive whatever said "blessing" is. To me that is really obnoxious to throw around.

eortman · December 2013

I am also dreading telling people that I'm pregnant. I find it to be a very personal thing and hate that we have to "announce" it. And since I'm repeating others, I also HATE baby shower games (and wedding shower games). And I really dislike gender reveal parties. Apparently, I'm not a puppies and rainbows person about pregnancy.

eortman · December 2013

Oh, and I LOVE my minivan. If I won the lottery, I would just buy a fancier minivan :-)

tealowl · December 2013

UO - Screw minivans, I would totally rock the HELL out of a station wagon. S/O has to get a new car next year, and if I saw a mint condition woody wagon, I would BEG him to get it.

Fun Fact: When DD was a baby/toddler (early 2000's), I had a late 90's white Escort wagon. I LOVED it. I miss that wagon so much. The engine blew up in a McDonad's drive-thru.

Unknown · December 2013

This content has been removed.

shanaynerz · December 2013

I agree with soo many of these UO's ladies...

I don't know if this is a UO really, but DH and I have already started sleeping in separate beds. It's awesome. I love sprawling. When pregnant with DD we did it, too. I'm so sensitive to all noise so his snoring (breathing heavy) was driving me crazy! And he takes up the whole bed! I need the whole bed!

V1981 · December 2013

I HATE when I have an appointment for someone to do work at my house scheduled for 1:00. I leave work early and they're still not here at 2:50!!! Seriously?!?!

katnipeverclean · December 2013

I don't have an UO today, however, I don't particularly care for people today. Not y'all, of course.

Edit: words are hard, yo.

bunkgirl · December 2013

Salsera29 said:

I stand by my position on the "We're so blessed" comment though. What does "blessed" mean, exactly? Maybe I'm wrong but they way I understand it is that the person is saying that God has somehow favored them, that they are special. They have been chosen to receive whatever said "blessing" is. To me that is really obnoxious to throw around.

I absolutely agree. When someone suffers a horrible experience is it because God is smiting them? Of course not! So the opposite applies as well, God is not giving you things because God favors you. I'm pretty religious (not the whackadoodle kind, but the Lutheran kind) and I like to "count my blessings" but I know that it is not because anything I did to EARN it from God. And I NEVER say I feel "blessed".

V1981 · December 2013

suzelizabeth said:

V1981 said:
I HATE when I have an appointment for someone to do work at my house scheduled for 1:00. I leave work early and they're still not here at 2:50!!! Seriously?!?!
Pretty sure this is a VERY popular opinion! Haha. But I definitely get the need to vent.

Yeah definitely more of a vent lol. Maybe unpopular to the cs reps.

andyandrachel · December 2013

eortman said:

Oh, and I LOVE my minivan. If I won the lottery, I would just buy a fancier minivan :-)

This. I dreaded buying one, but totally love it now. It's is used and old, but in great conditions with all the bells and whistles (available at the time) so we plan on keeping it for a while.

Jbosarge85 · December 2013

tealowl said:

UO - Screw minivans, I would totally rock the HELL out of a station wagon. S/O has to get a new car next year, and if I saw a mint condition woody wagon, I would BEG him to get it.

Fun Fact: When DD was a baby/toddler (early 2000's), I had a late 90's white Escort wagon. I LOVED it. I miss that wagon so much. The engine blew up in a McDonad's drive-thru.

We just got a station wagon a couple months ago. We are a one car family (it sucks). We had a two door convertible, it kept breaking down. So we sold it and got a station wagon, I love it. It's so nice being able to not have to cram in the back to put my daughter in her seat. and there are so many seats it will nicely fit two car seats with room for our stepson and three other people. We always just laugh that it's obvious that we are a growing family just by looking at our change in vehicles.

Salsera29 · December 2013

bunkgirl said:

Salsera29 said:

I stand by my position on the "We're so blessed" comment though. What does "blessed" mean, exactly? Maybe I'm wrong but they way I understand it is that the person is saying that God has somehow favored them, that they are special. They have been chosen to receive whatever said "blessing" is. To me that is really obnoxious to throw around.

I absolutely agree. When someone suffers a horrible experience is it because God is smiting them? Of course not! So the opposite applies as well, God is not giving you things because God favors you. I'm pretty religious (not the whackadoodle kind, but the Lutheran kind) and I like to "count my blessings" but I know that it is not because anything I did to EARN it from God. And I NEVER say I feel "blessed".

That's an interesting point. Somehow the word used as a noun doesn't bother me at all. Then it's just, "good things in my life." It doesn't seem to imply the same thing. I've never thought about that.

[Deleted User] · December 2013

I think if you feel the need to announce all of the charitable giving you do, you're missing the point. I lurk on a different forum (not baby-related) and there's a woman every year who starts a thread to talk about all of the good deeds she and her family do at Christmas time. Maybe she thinks she's inspiring others but it just comes off as one big humblebrag to me.

cookieinva · December 2013

shanaynerz said:

I agree with soo many of these UO's ladies...

I don't know if this is a UO really, but DH and I have already started sleeping in separate beds. It's awesome. I love sprawling. When pregnant with DD we did it, too. I'm so sensitive to all noise so his snoring (breathing heavy) was driving me crazy! And he takes up the whole bed! I need the whole bed!

That is not at all a UO in our house. We probably sleep in separate beds at least as often, if not more, as in the same bed. I am such a sensitive, light sleep. Meanwhile DH snores like it's his job and is a night owl. This just means a happy marriage for us!

tourqeyes · December 2013

cookieinva said:

shanaynerz said:

I agree with soo many of these UO's ladies...

I don't know if this is a UO really, but DH and I have already started sleeping in separate beds. It's awesome. I love sprawling. When pregnant with DD we did it, too. I'm so sensitive to all noise so his snoring (breathing heavy) was driving me crazy! And he takes up the whole bed! I need the whole bed!

That is not at all a UO in our house. We probably sleep in separate beds at least as often, if not more, as in the same bed. I am such a sensitive, light sleep. Meanwhile DH snores like it's his job and is a night owl. This just means a happy marriage for us!

I tried convincing DH & I to sleep in different beds but he was not too pleased with that idea.

cookieinva · December 2013

See, my husband likes it because he can do what he wants without me bitching at him AND I don't wake up an evil, cranky, sleep-deprived shrew.

RichLab · December 2013

tourqeyes said:

Bliss+Berry said:

I hate baby shower games. Hate. With a fiery passion. Hate.

Edited to add, if you so much as slip a melted candy bar filled diaper in front of my nose, I will cut you.
ITA!

ETA: This week's unpopular baby shower opinion from me -- I don't like children at baby showers. : X

Can i like this 1000X times??!?! We said no kids at my wedding and people had a heart attack over it, i feel the same with a baby shower, it is NOT a children's activity. they get tired, they get bored and before you know it, the cake is on the ground. ok i know that is an extreme possibility, but i have seen it happen in person at two weddings so i am somewhat traumatized.

andyandrachel · December 2013

Jbosarge85 said:

tealowl said:

UO - Screw minivans, I would totally rock the HELL out of a station wagon. S/O has to get a new car next year, and if I saw a mint condition woody wagon, I would BEG him to get it.

Fun Fact: When DD was a baby/toddler (early 2000's), I had a late 90's white Escort wagon. I LOVED it. I miss that wagon so much. The engine blew up in a McDonad's drive-thru.

We just got a station wagon a couple months ago. We are a one car family (it sucks). We had a two door convertible, it kept breaking down. So we sold it and got a station wagon, I love it. It's so nice being able to not have to cram in the back to put my daughter in her seat. and there are so many seats it will nicely fit two car seats with room for our stepson and three other people. We always just laugh that it's obvious that we are a growing family just by looking at our change in vehicles.

Is this a new vehicle? I didn't know they still made wagons with a 3rd row! We totally would have bought a wagon instead of a van if we knew that was the case.

biglewzer · December 2013

tourqeyes said:

cookieinva said:

shanaynerz said:

I agree with soo many of these UO's ladies...

I don't know if this is a UO really, but DH and I have already started sleeping in separate beds. It's awesome. I love sprawling. When pregnant with DD we did it, too. I'm so sensitive to all noise so his snoring (breathing heavy) was driving me crazy! And he takes up the whole bed! I need the whole bed!

That is not at all a UO in our house. We probably sleep in separate beds at least as often, if not more, as in the same bed. I am such a sensitive, light sleep. Meanwhile DH snores like it's his job and is a night owl. This just means a happy marriage for us!

I tried convincing DH & I to sleep in different beds but he was not too pleased with that idea.

My dream home has two master bedrooms for us.

yurmom · December 2013

PregsMcSnoozalot said:
i think taco bell's food is revolting

I hate Pregs and all you who love titted this. FU.

Salsera29 · December 2013

catarntina said:

I never got the 'no kids' thing at weddings and showers.

I told people to please bring their children to my wedding. I made coloring books and bought $1 store crayons for them. The kids had a lot of fun, and I really enjoyed having them at my wedding. IMO, weddings are family affairs and children are family, so they should be invited.

I also had kids at my baby shower. They brought me my presents and helped pass out prizes to the game winners. They to pick a prize out of the basket too, for being so helpful.

I'm going to guess you're not an elementary school teacher lol. I deal with other people's children all day, every day. I did NOT want them running around my wedding, especially since a lot of parents have different ideas on what "behaving" means.

biglewzer · December 2013

Salsera29 said:

catarntina said:

I never got the 'no kids' thing at weddings and showers.

I told people to please bring their children to my wedding. I made coloring books and bought $1 store crayons for them. The kids had a lot of fun, and I really enjoyed having them at my wedding. IMO, weddings are family affairs and children are family, so they should be invited.

I also had kids at my baby shower. They brought me my presents and helped pass out prizes to the game winners. They to pick a prize out of the basket too, for being so helpful.

I'm going to guess you're not an elementary school teacher lol. I deal with other people's children all day, every day. I did NOT want them running around my wedding, especially since a lot of parents have different ideas on what "behaving" means.

Weddings run late into the evening. Over tired children spoil everyone's good time.

Showers, I don't care about.

yurmom · December 2013

Salsera29 said:

catarntina said:

I never got the 'no kids' thing at weddings and showers.

I told people to please bring their children to my wedding. I made coloring books and bought $1 store crayons for them. The kids had a lot of fun, and I really enjoyed having them at my wedding. IMO, weddings are family affairs and children are family, so they should be invited.

I also had kids at my baby shower. They brought me my presents and helped pass out prizes to the game winners. They to pick a prize out of the basket too, for being so helpful.

I'm going to guess you're not an elementary school teacher lol. I deal with other people's children all day, every day. I did NOT want them running around my wedding, especially since a lot of parents have different ideas on what "behaving" means.
******************************+++

I'm for whatever bride and groom want although I've seen a lot of wedding disasters where controlling the kids turned into everyone's focus.

Salsera29 · December 2013

catarntina said:

Maybe I just got lucky with really well behaved kids in my family! I am also not an elementary school teacher.

See, if the kids in my extended family were well-behaved, I might have felt differently.

Jbosarge85 · December 2013

Jbosarge85 said:

tealowl said:

UO - Screw minivans, I would totally rock the HELL out of a station wagon. S/O has to get a new car next year, and if I saw a mint condition woody wagon, I would BEG him to get it.

Fun Fact: When DD was a baby/toddler (early 2000's), I had a late 90's white Escort wagon. I LOVED it. I miss that wagon so much. The engine blew up in a McDonad's drive-thru.

We just got a station wagon a couple months ago. We are a one car family (it sucks). We had a two door convertible, it kept breaking down. So we sold it and got a station wagon, I love it. It's so nice being able to not have to cram in the back to put my daughter in her seat. and there are so many seats it will nicely fit two car seats with room for our stepson and three other people. We always just laugh that it's obvious that we are a growing family just by looking at our change in vehicles.

Is this a new vehicle? I didn't know they still made wagons with a 3rd row! We totally would have bought a wagon instead of a van if we knew that was the case.

Not like 2013, I think it's a 2004. It's a Mercury Sable. They may still make them. The very back back seat faces backwards. My mom had a I think Ford taurus when I was growing up that had the back seat facing backwards, I thought it was fun staring at the drivers of other cars.

cyndelgrace · December 2013

Home dopplers piss me off. Especially on a board where people recognize how medically unnecessary U/S boutiques are, yet have no problem with doppler use.

I'm the person saying I hope SO's are getting handjobs. I say it jokingly more than anything but it sucks to see women say that their husbands are clearly bothered by the lack of intimacy but they don't care because they're the ones dealing with the pregnancy. Well, he's dealing with it too and his feelings are valid. Intimacy is a big deal.

honeybee434 · December 2013

I'm completely with these posts of no kids at weddings and showers! DH and I don't have a single picture of our first dance with only us because his family didn't feel the need to watch what their children were doing and decided it was okay that they were on the dance floor with us the whole time while they drank and assumed other people were parenting them. There are kids in every angle and every picture. Our poor photographer tried really hard, but it was impossible to not have them in the pics. Same with our pics of my father/daughter dance and his son/mother dance. It still makes me mad when I look through our wedding album from time to time.

alyss0nl · December 2013

I loathe gender reveal parties. It seems very AW. Why can't you just tell people what you are having and not make a big deal about it. Your attention will come at the baby shower (as well as the gifts).

mexibell · December 2013

UO: I hate Facebook pregnancy reveals. There, I said it!

This probably stems from my years of infertility, but everyone reminded me of what we wanted and couldn't get on our own. I was happy for them, but they just highlighted what I felt was missing.

Getting 6 in two weeks didn't help either.

mrscurlygurl · December 2013

mexibell said:

UO: I hate Facebook pregnancy reveals. There, I said it!

This probably stems from my years of infertility, but everyone reminded me of what we wanted and couldn't get on our own. I was happy for them, but they just highlighted what I felt was missing.

Getting 6 in two weeks didn't help either.

I can understand how this must hurt...but it's not fair to deny your friends their joy. I would hate to think I couldn't post an announcement or pictures of my children on a social media platform meant to share information about my life because I was scared it would bother someone else. I'm not sure what I would do in your shoes, but I wouldn't expect or hope for other people to keep exciting things about their lives to themselves.

mexibell · December 2013

mrscurlygurl said:

mexibell said:

UO: I hate Facebook pregnancy reveals. There, I said it!

This probably stems from my years of infertility, but everyone reminded me of what we wanted and couldn't get on our own. I was happy for them, but they just highlighted what I felt was missing.

Getting 6 in two weeks didn't help either.

I can understand how this must hurt...but it's not fair to deny your friends their joy. I would hate to think I couldn't post an announcement or pictures of my children on a social media platform meant to share information about my life because I was scared it would bother someone else. I'm not sure what I would do in your shoes, but I wouldn't expect or hope for other people to keep exciting things about their lives to themselves.

I didn't expect them not too share information out there. It is Facebook after all!

If you have reasonable number of friends you're going to not love something that they post.

I just have grown to the announcements after all these years (along with political rants, selfies, "Share to keep this on your wall" and other stuff).

But I would also counter your reply with this. It is their Joy that they are announcing and they are entitled to be ecstatic about it. I know I will be too if I get out of the first trimester! But I actually had to remind a friend once who could not understand why I wasn't just over the moon for her was that it was her baby and not mine. I was glad for her but because I didn't ask her about it and gush she perceived a slight.

Jbosarge85 · December 2013

mexibell said:

mrscurlygurl said:

mexibell said:

UO: I hate Facebook pregnancy reveals. There, I said it!

This probably stems from my years of infertility, but everyone reminded me of what we wanted and couldn't get on our own. I was happy for them, but they just highlighted what I felt was missing.

Getting 6 in two weeks didn't help either.

I can understand how this must hurt...but it's not fair to deny your friends their joy. I would hate to think I couldn't post an announcement or pictures of my children on a social media platform meant to share information about my life because I was scared it would bother someone else. I'm not sure what I would do in your shoes, but I wouldn't expect or hope for other people to keep exciting things about their lives to themselves.

I didn't expect them not too share information out there. It is Facebook after all! If you have reasonable number of friends you're going to not love something that they post.

I just have grown to the announcements after all these years (along with political rants, selfies, "Share to keep this on your wall" and other stuff).

But I would also counter your reply with this. It is their Joy that they are announcing and they are entitled to be ecstatic about it. I know I will be too if I get out of the first trimester! But I actually had to remind a friend once who could not understand why I wasn't just over the moon for her was that it was her baby and not mine. I was glad for her but because I didn't ask her about it and gush she perceived a slight.

But by being their friend they are wanting to share good news with you. I don't expect my friends to gush over it, but if it was a good friend I would hope something is said even just a congrats. It's not meant to rub it in your face. The whole point of being a friend is to support and be excited for the good news and be supportive during the bad news.

Edit: I misread

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