how did you deal?

radcrystal · December 2013

Hi ladies, how did you deal with your loss(es)? I think I lost my voice from screaming and crying like a total idiot. I'm feeling better today, but still very confused as to what our problem is. I'm super healthy, and young. I'm completely at a loss.

diamante1181 · December 2013

It is different for everyone. I write a lot, I journal, write my babies letters, pray, and after all that I can still only say I take it moment by moment. Some days are bad, others are okay. *hugs*

stefuge · December 2013

It's not easy. Take it day by day. Some days are good, some are bad, some you don't want to climb out of bed. I've been doing a lot of blogging, which has really helped me to work through my emotions. Also grief counseling, as well as some really awesome friends who let me talk and cry and whatever I else I need. My DH and family have been amazingly supportive, and ultimately I have to have faith that God has a plan and even though I don't like it, this is the road we are on, and I just pray for His peace and comfort. ((Hugs))

OSUWifey09 · December 2013

***SIGGY WARNING***

Before I jump in, I'll note that our board has dealt more with late pregnancy [second or third trimester] losses and the loss of an infant/child. While some of us, unfortunately, have also dealt with miscarriage, there is a specific board for miscarriages that may be more helpful - especially if you're trying to find resources [testing, medication etc.] to help guide you towards your rainbow.

I lost my son at 34.5 weeks in August 2012, and it was the toughest time of my entire life. I wasn't quite sure how I would make it through without him, how I was supposed to plan his funeral, how I was supposed to pack his room up that had been set for him to go. It took many months of journaling, counseling and family/friend support to feel like I could move forward with my life and be OK again. Even now, almost 1.5 years later, I still have hard days. I know that the process of losing a child is hard...I wish you peace and comfort as you get through this and, hopefully, have your rainbow. *hugs*

Heatherhah · December 2013

I lost my daughter at 38 wks 4 days so we had a memorial and I cremated her and I tell you I cried for 3 weeks straight I didnt get out of bed for 3 weeks. I barely ate , I did nothing but cry. I am now 2 years out and it still hurts like you can't believe. I held my baby who weighed 10lbs 3 oz and was perfect there was no reason why she passed away she just died. It isn't fair!!

Heather

BrittianyM · December 2013

I didn't eat for three days after she passed. I also spent alot of time just driving around by myself so I could scream and cry. That lasted for about two months. Then I sarted seeing a Christian Councelor and going to suppot groups. What really helps me is that I incorprate Brooke in anything I can.

kz's_girlygirl · December 2013

I am sorry for your losses, and encourage you to seek out support wherever you can find it. There is no right or wrong way to try and process the death of a baby. My son Jessie died during the night, inside my body after I was admitted for premature rupture of membranes which showed a uterine infection. The amount of guilt I felt in the days and weeks (and still now) surrounding his death and delivery was crippling. I have struggled with feeling like my body basically suffocated him to death while I slept.

In the weeks after his death, I would go to sleep crying, cry throughout the night, and wake up crying. I couldn't come out of my room until 11am or later, and couldn't eat more than tea and maybe a few apple slices. I lost 12 lbs in what felt like days.

Tomorrow marks 2 months since Jesse's passing and birth, and while I am no longer in that black hole of grief, I still struggle daily. The only way I can say I get through it, is to just get through it. Luckily, my body doesn't need my permission to keep breathing, to keep living- If it did, I might not have made it.

Go at a pace that is doable for you, and know that there is no short cut

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