Movement Question

MayMilitaryBride · December 2013

I was just wondering if you ladies could give me some advice?
I have felt my baby kick quite a bit and DH is super anxious to feel it also (as well as some of my family members) I have been feeling the hard unmistakable kicks for about a week or so I guess. The baby is extremely active (the most active baby my midwife has ever seen according to her) i have placenta in front of the baby and before I got pregnant I was 10-15...20 pounds tops overweight. Ive only gained 4 pounds. When is your best guess that he will be able to feel her move? He gets really frustrated and I keep telling him bc of my being overweight and the placenta placement he may not feel her for quite a while. I'm 20 weeks. I know everyone is different I just thought maybe one of you that may have experience with being weighty and the placenta thing could tell me your experience so maybe I could give him a sort of guess.... Its to the point where he actually gets so upset he picks fights about it..and its stressing me out incredibly so. He makes me feel awful sometimes about my pre pregnancy weight and like its my fault the placenta is in front. (It isn't though is it? Idk does my body tell the placenta where its gonna go???) He really honestly DOES NOT intentionally try to make me feel bad about my weight...i think just the hormones and stress make me more sensitive. He loves that I'm "thicker" and I have a big butt lol
So any advice or personal experience you can share???

I'm really sorry this turned out so much longer than I meant.

Kiahsimpson · December 2013

I'm 23 weeks and hubby can see/feel baby kick pretty easy. While I've been able to see and feel for awhile, hubby has just recently been able to easily. He got frustrated too when he knew I was feeling it but he couldn't. I was a little overweight as well, and I had to explain that to him. He was frustrated, but understood. Just keep reminding him that it'll happen, it just takes time and patience.

SimplyRSVP · December 2013

So aorry to hear this! My dr (mfm spec) didn't even feel her first baby until 24 weeks, and her hubs didn't feel her until 25/26. Tell him to back off a little. I can't even tell if I'm "feeling" her at 20 weeks. Hubs knows not to expect anything nor to show any frustration.

irisheyez7 · December 2013

I am almost 24 weeks and a tad overweight as well. I can feel baby all day and I have recently been able to feel and see kicks from the outside. To be honest I have no clue where my placenta is located but my DH has yet to feel her. He tries and I know it frustrates him a bit but she will be kicking up a storm and he will put his hand down and NADA. It's like she KNOWS. Ha. He usually just laughs it off and says "Daddy's little girl my ass".

Honestly it may take a while before he can feel it but rest assured, in a few weeks time we will ALL be feeling them kick more than we even want to! I have heard baby kicks to the bladder and kidneys are NOT cool and that they LOVE to kick like crazy when we are trying to sleep! Tell him to chill out and be a tad more patient and sensitive. Remind him, all good things come to those who WAIT. If he continues making you feel bad about it, well then, I might have a few more "brash" things to say to him....

Avion22 · December 2013

I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one with this problem.

I've been feeling LO for about a month now, and I'm pretty sure some of his big kicks can be felt from the outside, but it's a matter of having your hand in the right place at the right time. I'm pretty sure H could feel those if he was lucky, but he can't feel all of the other movement. He's getting really frustrated that he can't feel it, and that the baby "doesn't kick for daddy." Except he does! When he touches my belly the baby moves around and kicks a ton, H just can't feel it yet.

Onelovelyginger · December 2013

This may sound stupid and it could be total bologna but I think it's easier for my DH to feel baby's kicks when 1. He's not using his whole hand, just like four fingers and 2. When he's not pressing very hard. I think when he uses his whole hand and pushes hard ( thinking the harder he pushes the more of a chance he'll get. Lol) that it warms up my tummy and basically puts my little man to sleep. Also, I'm like 15 pounds overweight pre pregnancy. I have no idea where my placenta is. My doc doesn't tell me much. But I hope this helps!!

cjpell0 · December 2013

I'm 24w1d and have been feeling the baby for a while. I have an anterior placenta and I'm low weight and DH still can barely feel the baby and I can't see any visible kicks. So reinforcement that weight may not have anything to do with it. :-) In order for H to feel the baby, I have to lay in one position and put Hs hand kind of hard on my belly and wait for a little while, like 3-4 minutes.

MayMilitaryBride · December 2013

Thank you guys very much! This does help. I just wanted to say I've been feeling her move around for a really long time only recently started feeling those hard kicks. I thinkn ill let him read your responses so he can see what I'm telling him is what everyone else has to do too....which is be patient lol

Rogue237 · December 2013

I was just going to add, while I was not overweight prepregnancy, I started feeling her at 17 weeks and he just recently has ( I'm almost 22 weeks). He says it feels very light and not definite to him, though it feels like harder kicks to me. He may just have to wait - you are early, weight or not. Last night we were actually able to see her move around which was cool! Have you tried looking at your belly when she's moving around yet? She shows best for me when I'm slouching on my back on the couch.

thomas930 · December 2013

Once you can feel them yourself on the outside then it all comes down to timing and patience. Babies can feel the change is pressure and temperature when something is against your belly and it could cause them to either mover more and stop completely. I've been feeling movement since 14 weeks and outside kicks since 18 weeks, DH just felt an outside kick at 22 weeks all because of timing.

He needs to chill and stop fighting with you about it...that's immature, you have no control over that movements inside of you.

kelbel2440 · December 2013

I have anterior placenta as well. Average size. Barely felt any kicks until I confirmed with my 20 wk US that I was feeling kicks. About 21 weeks I noticed big kicks u could feel outside. My DH was lucky enough to catch one, and only one kick. Now 23 weeks I'm starting to see some stomach movement. My doc said because of the placenta in front, kicks would be muted, and usually just feel them in pockets, like only one spot at any given time. Which is what I get. I have some days I feel him a lot, other days barely at all. Since then DH has only felt one other kick. They only come maybe two or three at a time, so he usually misses them. Laying on my back, or left side gets the most, and I almost always feel the kicks on the very low mid or left part of my abdomen, near my hip. Music pumped him up this weekend when I held the iPod to my tummy, but DH wasn't here for that. I also think a warm hand calms him cuz when I touch my tummy the kicks stop. And no, the placenta placement is not your fault!!! It finds it's home and stays there. Think if it as your protection when baby gets bigger and stronger :-) at least I'm hoping it will block some of those rib shots!! Just try to rest next to DH so if the kicks come, he's there to feel it! It will happen in due time!

MayMilitaryBride · December 2013

I definitely agree. This is just our first and he wanted a little girl so badly I guess he is just really impatient. He also told me this morning he feels a little jealous that we have such a bond and that there is so little he can do to bond with her. I try to tell him he can talk to her and bond that way. Thats the easiest thing to do in my opinion. I know she knows his voice...during our gender ultrasound every time he talked she looked to my left where he was sitting. The lady doing the ultrasound took a video bc she thought it was so sweet. Coincidence? Maybe but I choose to think she knows his voice.

MayMilitaryBride · December 2013

Thank you @kelbel2440 ! I noticed when I put my hand on my stomach she doesn't move a lot either. I really look forward to him feeling it...and to feeling her more consistently myself.

NicoleAnne416 · December 2013

When we could first feel her on the outside, it was when I laid slightly on my right side, she'd kick the left of my uterus, and the chub would be out of the way in that spot

Also the first spot we saw her kicking. That was probably 10-20 weeks but with #3. I wasn't overweight when I got pregnant, but at the top of my healthy weight after losing some. I gained some chub back pretty quick with carbs! oops.

GeorgiaWife12 · December 2013

I'm 24 weeks with an anterior placenta and DH has yet to feel the baby. Just this week have I even felt any that I thought were strong enough to feel from the outside and last night I actually saw my stomach move for the first time. Of course DH is anxious to feel him, but there is nothing I can do to make that happen. It will just take patience and time. Him picking fights is ridiculous. What are you supposed to do about it?! You have zero control over where your placenta attaches and you can't make the baby kick any harder than she is. I'm sorry he's being such a d*ck about it!

MayMilitaryBride · December 2013

Me too! I told him he was being a real jerk and that he needed to do a little more research before he started making me feel bad, intentionally or not. He's been better since then. I printed an armload of information for him and dumped it in his car while he was at PT...he wasn't thrilled but it got my point across lol

BiggerinRealLife · December 2013

I'm 20 weeks, overweight, posterior placenta. Baby is getting stronger every day and I'm feeling more distinct thumps now rather than rolls, but DH has yet to feel anything. I know he's getting frustrated, but knows it will come with time. Be patient with yourself, and tell your husband to do the same.

klscas · December 2013

I've noticed when I'm concentrating on feeling her move she never does. Its always when I'm laying on my back watching tv or something is when she moves. Have him lay next to you with his hand ready but not on your belly

jennypenny1014 · December 2013

I am classified as "morbidly obese". With DS I had a fundal placenta (meaning it's up top and out of the way), and DH couldn't feel anything definitively until about 26 weeks...but I think some of that was just doubt about what he was feeling, cause it was pretty obvious from the visible movement that DS was kicking where his hand was. That, and DS would stop moving whenever he heard DH's voice or felt his hand on my belly. LOL

This time I also have an anterior placenta, so I don't expect DH will be able to feel anything until much later.

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