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Parenting
secretsout
member
I feel like a crappy mother.
secretsout
member
in Parenting
Lately, I have been looking forward to Monday mornings because
the weekends seem so challenging. He just turned two last week and it
seems like a switch was flipped. He has always been determined, but in
the last two weeks, it's like all hell has broken loose. If he doesn't
get his way he screams and cries, starts throwing things, hitting, etc.
I try to distract him but that rarely works. He wants exactly what he
wants or he doesn't want anything. I don't want to give in to
everything because I think he needs to learn that he can't
just have what he wants all the time, but then I wonder if maybe I'm
just being an asshole.
Like, he only gets his pacifier for sleeping. But yesterday he saw it and wanted it, and screamed for 30 minutes over it. No distracting. If he even sees my phone he wants to sit and look at pictures for an hour. No matter how long it's been, if I tell him that's enough, he throws a fit. If I don't let him look at all he throws a fit. I can't even answer the phone without him going nuts for it--my new plan is to put a stop to looking at the phone period and just hide it from him, I guess. If I tell him no to something, he throws a fit. I try distracting with other things, but it rarely seems to work. And then I think, what's the big deal, and want to give in, but I feel like once I've said no to something I have to stick with it.
I don't even know what my point is. I just hate the weekends lately and it makes me want to cry. Is this normal? How do I deal with him? Just be tough and ignore his tantrums? Stop being such a jerk and let him have whatever he wants if it isn't going to kill him?
Like, he only gets his pacifier for sleeping. But yesterday he saw it and wanted it, and screamed for 30 minutes over it. No distracting. If he even sees my phone he wants to sit and look at pictures for an hour. No matter how long it's been, if I tell him that's enough, he throws a fit. If I don't let him look at all he throws a fit. I can't even answer the phone without him going nuts for it--my new plan is to put a stop to looking at the phone period and just hide it from him, I guess. If I tell him no to something, he throws a fit. I try distracting with other things, but it rarely seems to work. And then I think, what's the big deal, and want to give in, but I feel like once I've said no to something I have to stick with it.
I don't even know what my point is. I just hate the weekends lately and it makes me want to cry. Is this normal? How do I deal with him? Just be tough and ignore his tantrums? Stop being such a jerk and let him have whatever he wants if it isn't going to kill him?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I feel like a crappy mother.
DS1 was like this. He was impossible. If it was something I said "no" to, it was an automatic fit. He would scream and kick for 30 minutes at a time. I used to make sure he was somewhere safe (i.e. on the carpet) and just let him do it. I wouldn't acknowledge him no matter how loud he screamed. He'd eventually get tired and stop. I would take that opportunity to talk about why the answer was no. He was usually calm at that point (until the next fit started!)
GL, I know how hard it sucks.
1) This is a really tough age because you can't reason with them and they can't really express themselves well. It'll get better in about six months so you just need to hang in there.
2) Toddlers act out because they're frustrated. But they do learn from consistency. So if you've said no, stick to your guns. Eventually he'll catch on.
3) Hide the temptations. DD went through a cell phone obsession phase and I just didn't use mine in front of her. If I needed to make a call, I used our landline or just let calls go to voicemail.
4) DD doesn't even TAKE a pacifier (always refused it as an infant) but one day threw an hour-long tantrum because she wanted a "paci." We don't even have any in the house! DH came home from work and I was like, "You are NEVER going to guess why she's crying."
5) You're not a bad mother -- toddlers are crazy!
That being said I too enjoy Mondays and drinks.
One main example was this summer: he always wanted me to pitch him the ball in the backyard. But then he'd get pissed at me if I pitched it wrong. He'd demand me to throw it to an exact spot. Sorry, but I'm not a fucking pitcher. I can't hit an exact spot. So I told him to stop yelling at me or I wouldn't play at all. He kept yelling so I stopped playing. This turned into a GIGANTIC screaming match. Like an hour long tantrum. I could've just given in and played ball more... but yelling at me won't work, bro!
tl;dr version: kids suck sometimes and if I say "no" then it's "no".
Toddlers ain't no joke!! Stay strong and remember to take to the bottle after your "bundle of joy" goes to bed.
Right now my toddler thinks it is perfectly within his rights to stand up on the couch and spin around in a circle for a minute or two before jumping off. Yep, he is an asshole too.
We try to stay consistent in our message. He certainly is aware enough to know when we say "No", and what that means. We use timeouts too, only about 3 minutes or so. But he is certainly in the testing phase lately, and as much of a pain as it is, we like to see him being independent in his thought, to a degree. But I feel like the only words that we speak when we are at home now are "no" and "stop".
His big meltdown thing is the gate to keep him from taking a header down the stairs. My genius mother thought it would be a good idea to start training him on walking the stairs at their house one night, so now EVERYTIME that gate opens at our house, he wants to walk the stairs. That has been a joy,
These are the best toddler fights....when it isn't that you won't do what they want, but that it is actually impossible. SMH at you not just being a better pitcher.
This is how I feel, but then sometimes I do give in, so I'm sure my inconsistency makes it worse. So, I also often feel like a crappy mom. Seems like it goes with the toddler territory, @jsgrl613.