to schedule or not to schedule

taraleanne · December 2013

....That is the question

So far we just go with the flow- baby wakes when he wakes, naps when he seems tired (or goes on a napping strike which is the case right now...ugh!) and goes to bed around the same time each day- again depending on when he seems tired. He usually eats about the same time every day, give or take an hour or so depending on when he wakes up. He is just shy of 6m.

I overheard the mama's in the mama group after me talking about after 6m putting baby on a "schedule" where they wake them at the same time every day, nap at same time every day etc... I know this is not recommended for the newborn (and I wouldn't have dreamed to do that) but what are the pros, cons, your experiences, your thoughts about a schedule for the older baby? To be honest, I can go with the flow right now and follow my DS's natural rhythms but eventually that can not be because I will eventually have to go back to work (luckily not until he is 1year old) where he will have to wake up several hours before he usually wakes up. He'll be a different baby by then and I know we have lots of time but I'm just wondering what's the bumpies thoughts and experiences are on going back to work/schedules etc.. for the older baby and best how to handle that.

TIA!

flummadiddle85 · December 2013

It kind of sounds like baby has put himself on a loose schedule... No...? Even now at almost 9mo, we don't have a set in stone schedule. But he is down to 2 naps most days, and lasts about 3hrs in between. Nurses about every 2 hours. Bedtime is around 7/7:30. I'm fine with this, but I have the flexibility to go with the flow/his own loose schedule. Even when things get off a bit, I can predict how his awake/feeding times might change. On th flip side, perhaps this Makes him more flexible for us? There are days when we are out a lot. And he can still nap in the car or wrap if he needs to. If what you do works for you and your family, I don't see a need to change it. And 6mo is a long ways away in terms of development. If bedtime and wake times need to be adjusted, then you can do that gradually.

PhieryBFly · December 2013

A routine is a good thing; a schedule is not.

LisaLisa1980 · December 2013

PhieryBFly said:
A routine is a good thing; a schedule is not.

This!!

taraleanne · December 2013

LisaLisa1980 said:

A routine is a good thing; a schedule is not.
This!!

I would normally agree but what do I do when I go back to work? We're gonna have to have some sort of schedule, I can't let him sleep in as long as he wants

Is there a reason why a schedule in an older baby is not a good idea? Right now we have a routine, absolutely but if we go with the flow while at home all day, all is well, but as soon as we throw an outting into the mix and he won't sleep in the car or wakes up when the car stops, I just end up with a very overtired baby when I get home- one who will then refuse to sleep all together because now he's just overtired- and I feel like that's not healthy for him either. He's so tired, yet can't shut off. By bedtime he's a screaming miserable boy- one who won't even sit nicely with to visit with grandma or grandpa to read a story. One who cries through his entire bath. How is that good for him? Sometimes I feel like set nap times would benefit him so that he wouldn't get overtired due to missing a restorative nap. I try to go by "his schedule" but every day it's different so taking him to visit grandparents, music class etc... I often just end up with an overtired miserable baby by days end. I deal with it, but I don't see how this is healthy for HIM and that's my concern.

taraleanne · December 2013

LalaMama81 said:

taraleanne said:

LisaLisa1980 said:

A routine is a good thing; a schedule is not.
This!!

I would normally agree but what do I do when I go back to work? We're gonna have to have some sort of schedule, I can't let him sleep in as long as he wants Is there a reason why a schedule in an older baby is not a good idea? Right now we have a routine, absolutely but if we go with the flow while at home all day, all is well, but as soon as we throw an outting into the mix and he won't sleep in the car or wakes up when the car stops, I just end up with a very overtired baby when I get home- one who will then refuse to sleep all together because now he's just overtired- and I feel like that's not healthy for him either. He's so tired, yet can't shut off. By bedtime he's a screaming miserable boy- one who won't even sit nicely with to visit with grandma or grandpa to read a story. One who cries through his entire bath. How is that good for him? Sometimes I feel like set nap times would benefit him so that he wouldn't get overtired due to missing a restorative nap. I try to go by "his schedule" but every day it's different so taking him to visit grandparents, music class etc... I often just end up with an overtired miserable baby by days end. I deal with it, but I don't see how this is healthy for HIM and that's my concern.

Not having a "schedule" doesn't mean they don't nap at similar times each day. You can't just expect to go out and do whatever you want w/o planning adequately for his nap. Of course a 6 month old will be miserable if they haven't been able to take a nap. Though, I don't know why you'd be taking a 6 month old for a visit w/ someone at bedtime anyway.

By that age we had a loose 2-3-3 routine. The first nap was 2 hours after they woke in the AM, the next nape was 3 hours after the last and there was about 3 hours in between the last nap and bedtime. I wouldn't wake a baby in the AM unless I absolutely had to - I don't wake at the same time every day and I don't see why a baby would.

I totally get what you are saying - and that's what I've been trying to do. But every day is so radically different. He wakes at a different time (between 7 & 9 am) and then is ready for a nap either 1.5 to 3 hours after waking.... this is fine if we stay home all day but if we have anywhere to go (say music class at 2pm) - I never know if it's "nap-time" or not until the 11th hour. Sometimes he can last a few hours between naps, sometimes if it's a short nap then he can't last long... again, often leading to an overtired baby at the end of the day. I just deal with it, but I don't like to see him so overtired, it's literally not fair to him (and secondly to his parents). Of course I don't take him to visit anyone at bedtime

I'm talking about if Grandma is here visiting, it would be nice for her to see him happy and not miserable. Perhaps his wake and sleepy times will get more organized as he gets older?

SLGILL1978 · December 2013

We have a routine. We have not established a "schedule" at home. At daycare she has somewhat of a "schedule". At daycare she takes two naps at 10 am and 1pm. At home on the weekends, she sleeps when she falls asleep. It's usually within 1-2 hours of her times at daycare.My daughter is now 9 months. At the age your son is now she was more of a cat napper during the day.

taraleanne · December 2013

Nicb13 said:

taraleanne said:

LalaMama81 said:

taraleanne said:

LisaLisa1980 said:

A routine is a good thing; a schedule is not.
This!!

I would normally agree but what do I do when I go back to work? We're gonna have to have some sort of schedule, I can't let him sleep in as long as he wants Is there a reason why a schedule in an older baby is not a good idea? Right now we have a routine, absolutely but if we go with the flow while at home all day, all is well, but as soon as we throw an outting into the mix and he won't sleep in the car or wakes up when the car stops, I just end up with a very overtired baby when I get home- one who will then refuse to sleep all together because now he's just overtired- and I feel like that's not healthy for him either. He's so tired, yet can't shut off. By bedtime he's a screaming miserable boy- one who won't even sit nicely with to visit with grandma or grandpa to read a story. One who cries through his entire bath. How is that good for him? Sometimes I feel like set nap times would benefit him so that he wouldn't get overtired due to missing a restorative nap. I try to go by "his schedule" but every day it's different so taking him to visit grandparents, music class etc... I often just end up with an overtired miserable baby by days end. I deal with it, but I don't see how this is healthy for HIM and that's my concern.

Not having a "schedule" doesn't mean they don't nap at similar times each day. You can't just expect to go out and do whatever you want w/o planning adequately for his nap. Of course a 6 month old will be miserable if they haven't been able to take a nap. Though, I don't know why you'd be taking a 6 month old for a visit w/ someone at bedtime anyway.

By that age we had a loose 2-3-3 routine. The first nap was 2 hours after they woke in the AM, the next nape was 3 hours after the last and there was about 3 hours in between the last nap and bedtime. I wouldn't wake a baby in the AM unless I absolutely had to - I don't wake at the same time every day and I don't see why a baby would.

I totally get what you are saying - and that's what I've been trying to do. But every day is so radically different. He wakes at a different time (between 7 & 9 am) and then is ready for a nap either 1.5 to 3 hours after waking.... this is fine if we stay home all day but if we have anywhere to go (say music class at 2pm) - I never know if it's "nap-time" or not until the 11th hour. Sometimes he can last a few hours between naps, sometimes if it's a short nap then he can't last long... again, often leading to an overtired baby at the end of the day. I just deal with it, but I don't like to see him so overtired, it's literally not fair to him (and secondly to his parents). Of course I don't take him to visit anyone at bedtime I'm talking about if Grandma is here visiting, it would be nice for her to see him happy and not miserable. Perhaps his wake and sleepy times will get more organized as he gets older?

Yes! Although DS had a "routine" down, we really just had to read his cues and wing it until he was a bit older. Planning outings was a little tricky.

Thank you

Perhaps I'm just getting anxiety cause he's on a napping strike at the moment, lol, and a cat napper when he's not. I'll let the cards fall where they may. Thanks again to all, this has helped ease my mind.

KKillian1029 · December 2013

I don't have my son on one, but only bath time is at 8 and bed time is at 9 and we try not to let him nap after 5 to 6, but he fights sleep really bad right now and he put hisself on his own nap schedule but I don't make him sleep at certain times

LisaLisa1980 · December 2013

If he's napping when you have a 2pm music class, I'd just skip the class

Ballet513 · December 2013

We have a schedule to a point. Maybe its more like a routine I don't know. I'm a SAHM which makes it easier to keep her on a schedule I guess. I wake her at 7am everyday mostly bc this way she'll see daddy at least once during the day. He sometimes comes home after bedtime. She naps at the same times each day and typically eats at the same times. I plan errands around naps. I have a happy, well fed and well rested baby. It works for us.

Shoecrazysarah · December 2013

Ballet513 said:
We have a schedule to a point. Maybe its more like a routine I don't know. I'm a SAHM which makes it easier to keep her on a schedule I guess. I wake her at 7am everyday mostly bc this way she'll see daddy at least once during the day. He sometimes comes home after bedtime. She naps at the same times each day and typically eats at the same times. I plan errands around naps. I have a happy, well fed and well rested baby. It works for us.

This.

I was going by LO's cues until about 6 months when I tried to create a more predictable routine based on LO's patterns in eat, sleep and play. When I did that LO began to create his own schedule of which I gently guide him through.

He wakes for the day on his own in the 6'oclock hour. Studies show that waking at the same hour every day creates better sleep patterns, for both adults and children. I suffer from insomnia and I take sleep very seriously! With that in mind, I wouldn't let LO sleep much past 7:30 unless there was an illness, etc. He goes down between 7-7:30pm and wakes once to nurse at 3:30am like clockwork.

He nurses upon waking and 45-60 min later has breakfast. He only lasts 2 hours tops before needing first nap of at least an hour. Then 3-3.5 hours to next nap depending how long first nap was. Next nap comes from about 2-3:30, but don't let him nap past 4pm. Dinner at 6pm. And somewhat scheduled nursing throughout day. I swear LO would forget to eat if I didn't remind him!

If the day is off schedule bcause we are out and he is sleeping in car and/or taking shorter naps he will need naps sooner and then will take a third cat nap to get him to bedtime.

It has really helped to create this routine so I know when the optimum times for outtings are, but also having an alternate plan for busy days. Like if u have a 2pm appt but LO would usually be napping, perhaps wake LO from first nap early to encourage the second nap to come earlier. Then perhaps a 30 min catnap on carride home or once at home. And it really helped to be aware of his patterns ahead of time.

It might take some trial and error to figure out what works but I really think it is worth it for both u and LO.

Sorry for the book, hope it helps!

taraleanne · December 2013

Thanks everyone! I like the loose "schedule" - which is sort of what we have. I think I need to be more cognizant of when those naps should occur but I know alot of it will fall into place naturally, as it already has been.

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