what do you think?

proudworkingmom82 · December 2013

Even though DD is 5 she just turned 5 in November so she missed the age cut off to start kindergarten this year and therefore is still in daycare (she's being taught preschool there). It is a law in our city (maybe statewide not sure) for daycares to have naptime between 12p-2p. DD does not nap. She doesn't wake up until 7 or 8 am and sleeps 11-12 hours a night so she is not tired at naptime. The rule at her daycare is that if the child chooses not to sleep they must lay completely quiet for the entire 2 hours. DD has a really hard time doing this and because of this she has been getting in trouble and losing privileges like going outside to play. While I Understand that this is the daycares rule this is something DD has a hard time with. Staying quiet for 2 hours when your wide awake is hard for a 5 year old. I am not allowed to bring coloring books for her or anything else to do at naptime because the "other kids would see and it wouldn't be fair". The daycare center is small and there is nowhere to seclude her from other kids. The center is 4 rooms split up only by half walls not actually split into rooms with doors just seperated into areas for each age group. Does anyone else find it a little ridiculous that she is required to stay completely quiet and still for 2 whole hours at this age? Would you fight to get her an alternative activity/solution or would you let it go and figure out a way to teach her to follow the rule? I don't want her to think she doesn't have to follow rules and I want her to learn to listen, but 2 hours seems like a long time for her to have to be quiet and still at 5 years old.

mommymegan831 · December 2013

I understand both perspectives. What if your DD laid quietly for the 1st half hour while they make sure all the kids that sleep are sleeping, and then they could let her color quietly on her mat?

Eskimokisses13 · December 2013

If it were me I would ask for the specific statute and look it up. Something seems off about that law.

I also have a hard time believing that the day care has not encountered this issue before and that they don't already have a good solution. I have a hard tim. believing that your child is their first kid not needing a nap and not wanting to lay still for 2 hours. If they didn't come up with a suitable solution for my child I would look elsewhere. 2 hours is a long time to expect a non napping child to lay still with nothing to do.

Sophiasmummy · December 2013

I would look into the rule. I know around here the children are required to rest for at least one hour of the 2-2.5 hour nap time. After that hour any children awake MUST be given a quiet activity to do (some centres will require the activities be done on their beds, other centres allow the children to come to the tables for activities after an hour). 2 hours of quietly laying there seems like an unrealistic expectation for a child!

funchicken · December 2013

Yes, I think that's a ridiculous rule. DD1 (5.5) hasn't napped since she was three years old. If they can't be flexible on this, I'd look for another daycare.

proudworkingmom82 · December 2013

cmeon_the_water said:

I'd look for an actual preschool or a better center. There's no way that would fly with me. My kids haven't regularly napped since they were 2ish, and I'm not about to pay for 2 hours of forced lay-down-time everyday- that's a nice 2 hour break for the employees, I'm sure, but, no. Our school manages to get it all done without imposing naps.

Does she even have many same-aged peers there, if it's so small? I just can't imagine this isn't a bigger issue for them if there are lots of older 4s and 5s around.

There are around 20 older 4's and a few 5 year olds. I am not really sure how much of an issue it is with the other kids.

Smores730 · December 2013

I would fight to get her an activity after x amount of quiet time so the other children don't see. A book to read, coloring books, puzzles. There's plenty to choose from

74dragonfly · December 2013

I highly doubt there is a law which forces kids to nap from 12-2. I think an opportunity to nap may be required but not that every kid sleeps.

At my DD preschool they have nap time from 12-2 but DD who will be 5 in Jan doesn't nap so I send a quiet time bag with her of books, etc. she has to be quiet and stay on her mat but they don't make her nap.

I think you should investigate this "law" and ask for accomodation to be made for DD. if they wont I'd find a new school. being forced to nap when you are not tired seems like torture to me at age 39, for a 5 year old that sounds like hell.

sschwege · December 2013

It is required in IL:

Sleeping Arrangements: A supervised nap period on cribs or cots is required of all children under age six who are in the program five hours or more each day. A rest period is required for children who are in attendance four consecutive hours or more.

https://www.chasiccrr.org/family/intro.phtml

So I think they are telling the truth when they say it is required, now the amount of time they have to nap is what I would question. Perhaps you could do as pp said and ask that if she is not asleep after an hour she can look at books or color? This way all the kids who are going to nap are probably asleep resolving the issue of fairness and she wouldn't be a distraction.

I do have to say though, I taught in a preschool for a year and kindergarten for a year. In preschool they were expected to lay on their cots for two hours regardless of whether they were nappers and some almost never napped. In kindergarten it was one hour. We played music but that was it in terms of 'entertainment' for the non-nappers. There was one girl in preschool and her parents recorded stories for her and she listened to it on a headset, might that be an option?

sschwege · December 2013

cmeon_the_water said:

sschwege said:

It is required in IL:
Sleeping Arrangements: A supervised nap period on cribs or cots is required of all children under age six who are in the program five hours or more each day. A rest period is required for children who are in attendance four consecutive hours or more.

https://www.chasiccrr.org/family/intro.phtml

So I think they are telling the truth when they say it is required, now the amount of time they have to nap is what I would question. Perhaps you could do as pp said and ask that if she is not asleep after an hour she can look at books or color? This way all the kids who are going to nap are probably asleep resolving the issue of fairness and she wouldn't be a distraction.

I do have to say though, I taught in a preschool for a year and kindergarten for a year. In preschool they were expected to lay on their cots for two hours regardless of whether they were nappers and some almost never napped. In kindergarten it was one hour. We played music but that was it in terms of 'entertainment' for the non-nappers. There was one girl in preschool and her parents recorded stories for her and she listened to it on a headset, might that be an option?

That's just awful- 2 hours is such a long time to keep a preschooler quiet on a cot! None of the parents had a problem with this other than the one mom?

FL requires naps be an *option* if appropriate for the child's age and the hours they are there- there needs to be floor space for napping (though, it can be multipurpose). Our kids' Montessori has a separate quiet room that the primary kids can take a nap in- the only ones that ever use it are the brand spanking new 3yos who are full-time (most of our 3yos are half days). They certainly still have some down time- after lunch/the first outdoor play time, they work quietly. But, again, there is NO way I'd pay a preschool what we pay our preschool if they were going to force our very active non-napping children to twiddle their thumbs on a cot for 2 hours a day!

I'm not opposed to a required short rest time for preschool aged kids- but, 2 hours is WAY too long to force on a kid, let alone on a 5yo. And we haven't had nap times in K since before I went through K. Such a waste of time for the non-nappers!

I guess I have to disagree with you on that, I don't think resting is a 'waste of time' for anyone. Two hours is excessive particularly for older kids, but everyone needs a rest and recharge.

Most of my kindergartners loved nap time and to my surprise 85% of them napped. I had one boy who told me he didn't want to go to first grade, when I asked him why he told me it was because they don't nap. Naps in kindergarten are pretty unusual here though, but my students needed them.

As to whether the parents had a problem with it in preschool, I honestly don't know. They knew the lay out of the day going into it so I'm guessing they were at least semi-OK with it when they enrolled their kids. I know two of the students were picked up after lunch, so they didn't nap with us. But as I said, IL requires a nap and I think 2 hours is quite common for preschool, so perhaps the parents knew that would be the case regardless of where they went?

neverblushed · December 2013

A lot of kids who are 5 probably don't need a nap. The daycare may need kids to take a nap, especially if there are 4 and 5 y/os together. However, I think it's a shame that they force kids who cannot fall asleep to lay silently for 2 hours.

I'd think about looking for a private full-day kindergarten or possibly a different pre-K program that's geared more towards your child's developmental level.

Littlejen22 · December 2013

I live in NJ and I think our law is under 5 but our school allows parents to opt out of it, I think forcing a 5yo to sit silently with nothing to do for 2 hours but stare at a wall is INSANE. And to take away playtime because they cannot be completely silent with nothing to do makes my head want to explode. Yes some kids might do it, some might need it but certainly many do not.

funchicken · December 2013

ITA with fredalina and littlejen. I SAH, and I have DD1 do quiet activities while her sister naps in the afternoon, but there's no way DD1 is going to nap. She's not sleepy in the afternoon. I'd much rather let her read, draw, play quietly, etc. I can't believe they punish your DD for not staying quiet the whole 2 hours--that's just so wrong.

groovygrl · December 2013

The law states taht there must be a supervised nap 'period', not that the children must nap or must lay there. I interpret that as a scheduled time of day for napping for those who want to or need to. It should be at the school's discretion what the kids do during that time if they're not asleep. Obviously if half the class is napping then the other kids need to be doing something quietly. Sounds like OP's school is interpreting this in the strictest sense, which is incorrect in my opinion since it just states there must be a period set aside, not that kids have to lay there doing nothing.

My school also has a nap period in pre-k but if your child does not nap, they do have to be able to sit on their cot quietly, but doing something. My DD has no problem doing this but unfortunately her brother would really struggle with this b/c he is not into things like coloring though he loves to read and do puzzles, I just don't think that he can handle 1 1/2 hrs of doing that on his cot... (unless maybe I sent an ipad or a dvd player lol) so he ends up napping every day, b/c he can still use one anyway & is quite a mess by 630 if he does not nap...but then it means that he is up until 10pm at night. Our school will also try to keep certain kids up longer so they don't nap the full nap period and we have tried that with our son also but it doesnt seem to affect bedtime unfortunately...

lynnf2 · December 2013

Along with all of this, I would be upset that then her outside play is taken away

She must sit quietly for 2 hours and then can't even go expel her energy. Sounds borderline abusive

WhitePicketFence · December 2013

Honestly, I'd start looking for another preschool at this point. There's no reason why a child has to sit silently for 2 hours without anything to do merely because he/she isn't tired at naptime.

suburbanstepmom · January 2014

I think it may be worth a frank discussion with your daycare provider. SS is 5 and ended up in the same situation (couldn't go to Kindergarten this year because of his birthday) and was acting out during nap time at daycare.

After DH discussed with the DC provider they actually started letting SS spend 1/2 days in the room with the "older" kids. He REALLY enjoys it, and now he's not getting into trouble! If the DC refuses to help accomodate his age/activity level I would personally start looking for a different provider.

what do you think?

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