Sebastian's Birth Story

ATXmommas · December 2013

Long birth story for those of you who are interested in reading. Lots of details because I wrote down everything that I wanted to remember. I have an even slightly longer version on my computer!

Sebastian’s Birthday – Thursday, November 21, 2013

I didn’t sleep well on Wednesday night but hardly slept in on Thursday, 40 weeks exactly, because my internal clock never allows me to sleep too late. I lounged in bed until about 8:30 and then started getting ready for my 9:30 acupuncture appointment. I had a list of things on my to-do list for Thursday. I even told myself that I hoped I didn’t go into labor that day because I felt so tired.

9:30am

I had trouble getting comfortable during acupuncture. I felt a lot of pressure high in my uterus, near my rib cage, where little one seemed to keep his feet – or something! I positioned myself on my side slightly without disturbing the needles and was able to relax for the rest of the session. I relaxed with the needles for about an hour, maybe a little longer. On my way out, I stopped at the front desk to make two more appointments – one for Friday morning and one for Saturday morning. I then walked next door to the cleaners to pick up a coat and began driving to a different shopping center approximately 15 minutes away.

~11:15am

It must have been sometime during the drive that I started feeling minor contractions. I don’t have a distinct memory of those early contractions – perhaps because I didn’t think much of them because I had experienced an increase in the frequency and intensity of BH contractions after my two previous acupuncture appointments. By the time I reached my next destination – Crate & Barrel to do some stocking shopping for Z – I definitely knew that I was having contractions and knew they felt different than BH contractions. The tightening feeling was strongest along the bottom of my uterus just above the pubic bone. I sat in my car until the latest contraction passed and went into the store. I browsed for probably 30 minutes or so, still experiencing but not timing the contractions. The woman who checked me out was clearly a new employee and had trouble applying the gift card I was using. I remember being patient although slightly annoyed by the delay and leaning against the counter while she finished checking me out.

~11:45am

After I left C&B, I drove across the parking lot to Whole Foods to pick up some lunch. The contractions were intensifying as I approached WF. I was still able to walk and talk but was breathing more deeply through them. I picked out a couple of things for lunch and checked out. The young woman who checked me out asked me when I was due to which I enthusiastically responded, “Today!” and then I watched her eyes get big as she wished me well.

~12:00pm

Z, who was at work, texted around this time. I still wasn’t convinced that I was in labor, so I just told her that I was leaving WF, was going to stop to pick up a movie, and then was heading home. I debated whether to stop at yet another shopping center; I wanted to go to a specific store to look for an ornament for my “elf” in the ornament exchange I was participating in. It was probably a silly decision, but I did end up stopping – though I was pumped to get excellent parking right next to the store I wanted to go into. The stop was very short – I was in the shop for about 2 minutes before deciding they didn’t have what I wanted.

As I drove home, I still debated on whether to stop for the movie, but by this time the contractions were pretty intense, so I passed the Redbox and made it home. I emptied my items from WF, looked at the food I bought, and realized that I felt a little sick and didn’t feel like eating. Contractions were continuing to get more intense.

12:50pm

I decided to draw a warm bath because I knew that a bath would probably soothe the contractions if I weren’t in actual labor. Before I got into the bath, I used the bathroom and there was blood in my mucous. I called my doula and explained to her what I was feeling. I had started timing the contractions after I left C&B by just looking at the clock in my car. The contractions were anywhere from 5-10 minutes apart and lasting about 30 seconds long. She advised me to stay in the bath for at least 20 minutes to see if the contractions would subside but also suggested that I go ahead and call Z and ask her to come home.

12:57pm

I immediately called Z and let her know what was going on. She was caught off guard (as was I) and told me that she was on her way home.

1:23pm

My phone shows that Elizabeth called me back at 1:23pm. I can’t remember if I was still in the bath when I talked to her this time; I think I had already gotten out because I had gotten hot. I ended up lying on the floor right outside the bathroom as I was still contracting. I told Elizabeth that the contractions had not stopped and had gotten more intense. She told me that she would call me back in a few minutes.

1:26pm

I moved myself to our bed and got on all fours while I called my mom. My parents live in Mississippi and the plan all along was to call my mom when I went into labor so that she and my stepdad could start the 10-hour drive to Austin. I figured that this plan would allow them to arrive right around or soon after I delivered. When my mom picked up, I told her that I was having contractions and thought I was in labor (was finally convinced of this fact). After telling my mom that I thought I was in labor another contraction started, and I had to stop talking. I put the phone down and could hear my mom asking me questions as I kept trying to tell her to hold on. When the contraction subsided, I explained to my mom what was going on. She asked me if I had called the doctor, which I hadn’t at this point. She also asked if Elizabeth was on her way, and I told her that Elizabeth probably wouldn’t arrive for “a while” – that I would probably labor on my own for a while. I was fully expecting to have a 10 to 12 hour labor, so in my mind I was still in early labor, and I was not computing how quickly things were progressing.

~1:35pm

I started to feel sick, so I went back to the bathroom and threw up. My phone shows that I texted Elizabeth at 1:38pm to let her know. When Z arrived, I was lying on the floor outside of the bathroom. I think Elizabeth called around this time too, and I gave the phone to Z so that she could talk to her.

1:48pm

I called the doctor’s office in between contractions and left a message. Z talked to them when they called back at 2:13pm They asked her how far apart the contractions were. I had given up trying to time them, and in the midst of coming home to find me curled up on the floor in pain, Z forgot that she needed to time them. I managed to tell Z that I thought they were about 5 minutes apart. The doctor’s office asked that I come to the office at 2:45pm.

1:50-2:20pm

The contractions were extremely intense at this point with very little relief in between. At this point, I knew that we should be leaving the house soon, but I still could not process how far along I was. Z helped me put on a nursing bra and a t-shirt. She asked me where I wanted to be, but I couldn’t think. We ended up going to the downstairs bathroom. I told Z that it felt like I needed to go to the bathroom (a tell tale sign for end of labor, but I STILL wasn’t processing). As I sat on the toilet, I felt a gush of water – my water broke. Either Elizabeth called or Z called her, and Elizabeth said she was on her way – she probably arrived within 15 minutes.

2:35pm

My phone shows that Z talked to the doctor’s office again. I remember Z telling me before Elizabeth arrived that the doctor’s office wanted me to come to their office, and I thought they were out of their minds. There was no way that I could make it up to their office. I was in incredible pain by this point, having to scream through contractions. When Elizabeth arrived, she suggested that we immediately head to the hospital. She talked to the OB’s office and let them know. Elizabeth stayed with me while Z went to get the hospital bag, which was not fully packed because I had insisted to Z that we would have plenty of time to finish packing the bag while I was in early labor. While Z was running around the house, Elizabeth had me stand up and lean over the bathroom counter while my water continued to leak out. I told her that it was happening too fast, that I thought I would have some relief between contractions, and she told me that my baby was choosing his own birth. As I stood in the bathroom, I felt intense pressure in my behind with every contraction. With each contraction, my legs tensed up, and I stood on my tippy toes. Elizabeth encouraged me to touch the bottoms of my feet to the ground. She asked Z to find a skirt for me to wear, so Z ran back upstairs to find a skirt. Elizabeth later told me that she wanted Z to find a skirt in case I ended up delivering in the car. In retrospect, Elizabeth was clearly aware that I was nearing the end, and she did a great job of keeping both Z and I as calm and focused as possible.

Z readied the car by putting towels in the backseat of her SUV and had moved the car so that I could walk straight out and into the backseat. I leaned over the back of the seats facing the back window. Elizabeth got in beside me and told me to resist if I had the urge to push. On the way, I yelled through the contractions and rested my head on the back seat during the small breaks. Z put on some music from the playlist we had made – Bittersweet Symphony by the Vitamin String Quartet and Gayatri Mantra by Deva Premal, a song that yoga my teacher always played in her class. Both were exactly what I needed to hear in that moment.

It usually takes about 10 minutes to get from our house to the hospital (it’s immediately across the street from our OB’s office), so I imagine that’s how long it took. Elizabeth got out with me in the circular driveway while Z parked the car. I later found out that Z only ran one red light on the way to the hospital J. Elizabeth wheeled me inside and up the elevator to L&D. We ended up in a room right around 3:00pm.

~3:00pm

When I arrived in the room, the L&D nurse told me that they needed to get a reading on the baby for about 20 minutes, but then I would be free to move around as I wanted. She wrapped the fetal monitor around my belly and told me the baby’s heartbeat was good. She then conducted a cervical check and to my surprise she told me that I was fully dilated and was ready to start pushing. I’m quite sure that my eyes got giant when she told me this. The OB on call arrived – it was the one practitioner that I had not met previously. My OB/midwife office rotates the appointments between all the providers that could potentially deliver your baby. This particular OB is the one on-call doctor they have who does not actually practice at their office. I really didn’t care at this point, though. She checked me, confirmed that I was fully dilated, and told me that it was time to start pushing. I was in shock and kept saying that it was too soon. Z held my hand and kissed me while she and Elizabeth said encouraging words. I really had not imagined that I would deliver in the traditional hospital position – flat on back with legs hiked back, but that’s what I ended up doing. They offered to let me move around, but I just wanted to stay in the bed.

~3:15pm

I started pushing around 3:15pm. Elizabeth and the OB were trying to get me to relax as much as possible because I was tensing up so much with the contractions. They told me to pull my legs back, which seemed impossible,. Elizabeth and the nurse helped me position myself. Elizabeth stayed on my left side and I pushed my foot against her hip. I mostly held my right leg. At the nurse’s urging, I curled up my body with each push. The doctor rubbed olive oil around my perineum, and I remember Z asking (in typical Z fashion) whether the olive oil was organic. I also remember the doctor asking me if my hair was natural. Not an unusual question – I get it all the time – but, the timing was way off. Wasn’t feeling especially chatty as I was pushing a baby out of me.

The pushing was somewhat uneventful, other than me getting irritated at the doctor because she kept asking me if I wanted to feel the baby’s head. This was something I had thought about ahead of time, and I had no idea if this was something I would want during labor. During the moment, though, it was not what I wanted or needed. She kept asking, and I kept saying no. Eventually, both Elizabeth and I both said no firmly enough that she stopped asking. Until she then asked if I wanted a mirror. Sigh. No again.

4:05pm

Finally (I shouldn’t say finally – it really wasn’t that long), they told me one more push and baby’s head was out, then his shoulders. Felt like the hugest relief. I cannot adequately describe the physical satisfaction that I felt. They immediately put him on my chest, though he fell right at my bust because his cord was a little short. They waited until his cord stopped pulsing before clamping, and then Z cut the cord. Not long after, I delivered the placenta, which also felt great! As the doctor pulled the placenta out, she showed us the bag where our little guy had just spent so much time and showed us the placenta.

Once the cord was cut, they took Sebastian away shortly to weigh him and returned him immediately. I left him on my chest to let him find my breast on his own. I kept asking Elizabeth if he would be able to “climb” my breast – because they had gotten quite large during pregnancy! We took video on Z’s phone and my phone as our brand new baby boy made his way to my nipple and breast fed for the first time. It was an incredible and beautiful experience.

Shortly after Sebastian’s birth (and several times since), I cried for our first son, Daniel. I cried for his loss. I cried out of acceptance of his sick little body. I cried because both his presence and loss in our lives led Sebastian to us. And, immediately, I couldn’t imagine our lives without him.

Epilogue

Can birth stories have epilogues? Well, mine does. J

I know from anecdotal stories and from child birth class that no labor goes exactly as planned, and to some degree I was prepared for that. My plan had already gone awry when I learned that I wouldn’t be able to deliver at the birthing center my OB/midwife practice had recently opened. When I found out, I was upset, cried a little bit, then moved on. We found a birthing pool to rent and had a doula that felt comfortable with my laboring at home for quite a while. What I had not, however, planned on was a quick labor.

During the course of our child birth class, the instructor, who is also a doula, attended a birth, which turned out to be a very quick labor. The instructor told us that it was a scary experience for the mother. When I asked why – because a quick labor sounded fantastic to me – she explained that it can be a scary experience for labor to progress so quickly. With a longer labor, the mother has time to process what is happening, to get used to the rhythm of the contractions, and figure out how to get through each contraction as the intensity builds. A mother doesn’t have time to do any of that during a quick labor, so it can be scary.

She was 100% accurate. I was really confused and scared, especially when the contractions became most intense. Because I didn’t realize that I was in transition, I was imagining hours more of those contractions and I didn’t know how I would get through it. Eventually when I was at the hospital and was told that I was ready to start pushing, while relieved, I was also shocked and not mentally prepared to start pushing. I got there quickly - I had no other choice.

Afterwards, the entire experience seemed surreal. I’ve told the story many times since and have found so many things about Sebastian’s birth to smile and laugh about. As scared and as shocked as I was during labor, I wouldn’t change a thing. Elizabeth was right. Sebastian chose his birth. He was ready to meet the world and nothing could stop him.

StacyLH24 · December 2013

Thank you for sharing that with us. I have been looking forward to this post. I'm glad it all went well, though different than what you were planning. No matter what, you now have your wonderful son. I had tears in my eyes as I read

. I hope you are all doing well. How miraculous to bring a little life into this world.

firstcomeslove2013 · December 2013

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. What a beautiful story and such touching thoughts from you as well. Lots of love and positive thoughts coming your way!

pauljl · December 2013

Thanks for sharing all of this! Congratulations on your sweet baby boy!

2MamazInSeattle · December 2013

Wow, what a story! You did a great job giving birth and also telling the story! I love the epilogue, and I remember in my doula training way back when meeting a woman who'd had a 4-hour labor and I thought that sounded great - but she said the same thing - it was against everything the books/classes, etc. prepare you for (a long labor).

I especially loved your comments about Daniel. I know the day we have a baby (should we be so fortunate), especially if it's a boy, it will be hard not to re-mourn our lost little boy. That part made me tear up right away (again - estrogen-laden 2Mamaz here...). But all my friends who lost babies have said exactly what you did - you honor the baby you lost because you wouldn't have the baby in your arms without that loss. I am still so sorry about Daniel - I know that will be with you forever.

Back to happy - congrats, sounds like you are all doing great! Looking forward to your parenting check-in's! Yay for Sebastian!

Jazibel · December 2013

Thank you for posting your beautiful story!! I have been reading birth stories (particularly natural birth stories) wherever I can find them and I really love how your story unfolds for the reader. I was right there with you & Z & Sebastian - it was gripping!! More than anything though I'm thrilled for you & Z - congrats again!! :-)

ATXmommas · December 2013

I'm glad you enjoyed reading it. The entire day - every part of it - is such a fond memory to me now. It really was a perfect birth for our little guy.

@2Mamaz - thank you as always for your kind words about Daniel. I will always grieve his loss and much as his loss still pains me, I feel like there is some sense and reason in everything that happened now.

KH826 · December 2013

Oh my goodness, I am crying my eyes out! You are amazing, and I am so thankful that you shared this with us. Your story sounds perfect, yet terrifying, yet peaceful all at the same time. Congratulations again to you and Z on the wonderful birth of Sebastian!

Oh, and while it might be a disappointment that you did not yet a chance to use your birthing pool, I am glad that Bama didn't get the opportunity to do the backstroke in it while you were at the hospital!

lamaitresse · December 2013

I have tears. What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it with us.

redrockmama · December 2013

Thanks for sharing your story. I love that you were able to capture his first moments and breastfeeding on camera, so precious.

Greysmom13 · December 2013

Thank you so much for sharing your amazing and wonderful story

aslmander · December 2013

Congrats!! what a wonderful story!

c&jei · December 2013

Congrats! That was very touching. Thank you for sharing.

mwagner25 · December 2013

Beautiful... Congrats again! I am finally able to check back in on the boards and was looking forward to reading this from you. Hope you guys are all doing well.

maryoosa · December 2013

Thank you for sharing this. Our son's birth parent had a speedy speedy labor and her emotions and thoughts about that experience seem similar to yours. Congrats on Sebastian.

healz413 · December 2013

thanks for sharing your story. i'm so glad i got to read it. It sounds intense and a bit scary and totally beautiful.

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