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November 2013 Moms
dobrydney
member
Feeding advice needed
dobrydney
member
Hi ladies! I need some advice/encouragement. I haven't posted a lot since LO arrived, so I apologize that I'm asking for help and not being too much on the giving end as of late.
As I posted in my birth story, LO was not latching well from the start. We got help from a lactation consultant and at least 4-5 different nurses that are all trained in lactation as well. It still wasn't working. I was having to pump to get milk/colostrum to let down because she was so lazy/inefficient at nursing that she couldn't do it herself. When she did latch on it wasn't deep enough and I needed two hands to manipulate my boob into position which left DH holding the baby awkwardly to the boob. I'm about a 44G at this point, so it's like refueling a jet mid air! Things got steadily worse once we got home. She would SCREAM for 45 minutes to an hour, sucking a time or two and then popping off. We ended up syringe feeding her several times in the hospital and at home. It has been a nightmare. The average feeding was taking almost 2 hours, which by then she's starving and it's a vicious cycle.
I know this has been made worse by my raging (or rather lack of raging) hormones and the whole recovery process. So, DH and I made the decision to pump and feed her via bottle. It was traumatic for all of us trying to feed her and we dreaded it, instead of enjoying our baby. I was having major anxiety about DH going back to work this coming Monday knowing that I would somehow have to figure out how to feed her on my own. She's still getting breastmilk but I still felt/feel like a failure!
I've been pumping every 2 hours and feeding her roughly every 2-3. Usually my pumps yield about 1.5 ounces so it seems like an impossible task at the moment with her eating about 2 oz per feeding, even though in theory I should eventually get ahead. Part of me just wants to switch to formula so I feel like I can enjoy our LO and not be a slave to a machine or the clock. I just was so emotionally invested in breastfeeding and didn't think of formula feeding as an option.
Thoughts? Anyone else in a similar situation? I know LO is barely a week old but I don't want to "miss out" on bonding and enjoying time with her because I'm bitter about this stupid milk situation. With pumping so often and still being sore and recovering, DH has been primarily handling changing and about 50% of the bottle feeding. I just feel like I provide the milk and don't have much energy or emotion left for much else!
As I posted in my birth story, LO was not latching well from the start. We got help from a lactation consultant and at least 4-5 different nurses that are all trained in lactation as well. It still wasn't working. I was having to pump to get milk/colostrum to let down because she was so lazy/inefficient at nursing that she couldn't do it herself. When she did latch on it wasn't deep enough and I needed two hands to manipulate my boob into position which left DH holding the baby awkwardly to the boob. I'm about a 44G at this point, so it's like refueling a jet mid air! Things got steadily worse once we got home. She would SCREAM for 45 minutes to an hour, sucking a time or two and then popping off. We ended up syringe feeding her several times in the hospital and at home. It has been a nightmare. The average feeding was taking almost 2 hours, which by then she's starving and it's a vicious cycle.
I know this has been made worse by my raging (or rather lack of raging) hormones and the whole recovery process. So, DH and I made the decision to pump and feed her via bottle. It was traumatic for all of us trying to feed her and we dreaded it, instead of enjoying our baby. I was having major anxiety about DH going back to work this coming Monday knowing that I would somehow have to figure out how to feed her on my own. She's still getting breastmilk but I still felt/feel like a failure!
I've been pumping every 2 hours and feeding her roughly every 2-3. Usually my pumps yield about 1.5 ounces so it seems like an impossible task at the moment with her eating about 2 oz per feeding, even though in theory I should eventually get ahead. Part of me just wants to switch to formula so I feel like I can enjoy our LO and not be a slave to a machine or the clock. I just was so emotionally invested in breastfeeding and didn't think of formula feeding as an option.
Thoughts? Anyone else in a similar situation? I know LO is barely a week old but I don't want to "miss out" on bonding and enjoying time with her because I'm bitter about this stupid milk situation. With pumping so often and still being sore and recovering, DH has been primarily handling changing and about 50% of the bottle feeding. I just feel like I provide the milk and don't have much energy or emotion left for much else!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Feeding advice needed
of the day he is full and happy and neither one of us is miserable. I think that it helps that he and I cuddle lots and we do skin to skin before and after. I read before that men can have the same bonding experience with their babies as breastfeeding women with lots of skin to skin contact so why wouldn't that work for you? My little guy is content and growing better than average, gaining 11oz in 8 short days so clearly something is being done right whether he feeds from the breast or the bottle.
I certainly hope that makes sense and that it gives you some encouragement! I say do what is right for you and your little gal:) and don't feel like a failure because you have soooo much to get adjusted to and that is more than breastfeeding!!! Good luck!!!
By his two week check up, he had gained almost an entire pound. I was able to stop pumping and bottle feeding. I did have to use a nipple shield to protect my nipples. But he's gaining and sleeping great!
I tell you all of this to say: don't give up hope. It's hard at first, but you can overcome those obstacles. You can also formula feed. I had to do that with DS1 because of too many bf issues. I did not have the energy or trust in my body to stick with breast feeding. Either way, your LO will be happy and healthy, as long as mom is!
My advice is to do what you feel is best for you and your family. Be easy on yourself and don't allow guilt to take over.
I have been feeling a lot of guilt and anxiety over breast feeding not working out as planned, too. Rationally, I know that I am doing what is best for him (and so are you for your LO), but emotionally it is so much harder. I just never expected to have issues with breast feeding or to feel so upset when things didn't work as planned. It has helped me to see that others are going through similar things.
With pumping, there are definitely good days and bad days. Overall, it has been getter easier for me each day as I become more comfortable with everything. Also, I got great feedback from the doctor today when LO gained almost a pound. It reminds me why I am doing this. But, if the bad days end up outweighing the good, I will change up my routine and add formula if needed. I am just taking one day at a time as I work through the whole pumping routine. I am mostly looking forward to eventually getting my supply up to the point I can extend a session or two and drop a night session or two. It is taking some work to get there, but I am seeing gradual increases and you will too.
Good luck as you make your decision. As others have said, you need to do what is best for you and your family and not hold yourself to impossible standards. I know that is easier said than done because I'm struggling to take my own advice. You are doing a great job!
I made the same decision you did though. I would rather pump than fuss with both and make both of us miserable. The key is to only offer when both of you are receptive.
At 1-2 weeks 1.5 oz seems normal of exclusively pumping. It will increase. Remember, it takes a couple of days for you to see a response from your pumping schedule. Example, if you start slipping a pump your breasts won't slow the production for a couple of days and vice versa. Adding a pump won't show any response for a day or so as well. Kellymom has some great advice on exclusively pumping as well as exclusivepumpers.com
I am not going to lie, I felt like a complete failure for not being able to supply DS with breastmilk. I probably pumped much longer than was practical given the return I was getting, but I just couldn't give it up. The decision was not easy, but it was the right one for our family.
Do what you need to do to feed your baby, but be mindful that a sane mommy is also important for your LO. He knows you love him. Don't beat yourself up. Hugs.
m/c: 9/06/12
LTB: 10/23/13
I hear you about being a Slave to the cock, I don't know how you guys are doing it with pumping added in, I already feel like a prisoner to the clock just with BFing.
Another option is to consider using a shield. It can be tricky to ween baby off of, but it might eliminate the need to pump which could totally be worth it. My LO got right in every time with it. It took us about 5days to ween off of it, but it takes some people weeks. While I wasn't super excited to use it, it did get us off to a good bf start and I'm thankful I used it. They are like $10 at target do you might want to try it once or twice and see what happens. If you do use a shield though it's recvomebded that you work closely with the pedi or a LC to make sure weight gain is on target.
I think the best advice though is to be patient. Just breath. I kept singing "just keep swimming" from nemo because it calmed me and her. Don't let LO get to hungry, i.e. wake to feed. Maybe try heating your breasts before feeding to make everything more pliable (I used a heating pad).
Good luck, hugs!!
I used a nipple shield for months while DD1's tongue tie resolved itself. Keep seeing lactation consultants to figure out the cause. I had to see 3 lactation consultants before we realized DD2's inefficient, painful shallow latch was due to an upper lip tie. Lip ties just aren't as well known; even lactation consultants can overlook it. This makes it impossible for her to flare out her upper lip, and therefore she kept making clicky noises, coming off the boob, gagging, swallowing air, etc. we see an ENT Monday to get it clipped. Please look into this as the possible cause. I really really hope you get answers and relief soon. Breastfeeding is easier in the long run but much harder to get established at first. I'm sorry again it's so tough!
There is too much stress put on women about BFing. Pay criticism no mind and confidently do what is right for you and your family. Hang in there.