HORRIBLE ADVICE. (pitch in)

pcrumley · December 2013

hey 3 t's --another bumpie and i were talking back and forth about unwanted advice, or even wives tails, so i thought it'd be something different to play around with.

feel free to post your wisetail/wivestail on ways to get pregnant or advice that is so stupid, you just cant help but laugh.

Ill go first, maybe we can make a master list haha.

1) "just stop thinking about it, and it'll happen..."

2redtulips · December 2013

Just get drunk and it will happen.

mrs.chaiffetz · December 2013

The moment you stop taking all the meds and the procedures it will just happen magically. Your body doesn't want/need help. BLAH!!!!

pcrumley · December 2013

good one. id be drunk all the time in that case..

pcrumley · December 2013

ohh thats a good one @lindsayhilleary i could use a tropical vacation and a baby haha.

pcrumley · December 2013

how about this-- has any one heard..

"have you tried a handstand, or laying upside down afterwords" this has been said to me. i couldnt even come up with a quirky response, i just stood there.

ronniesgirl1981 · December 2013

I'm in the closet so I don't get much advice. HOWEVER, upon being diagnosed as unexplained IF, my ex-OB/GYN said, "now that you know nothing is wrong maybe you can relax and get pregnant."

ronniesgirl1981 · December 2013

Ugh @Rumber28 and @calindi it is so frustrating and is part of the reason for my in the closet status. And this is the same ob/gyn who was engaged when I first saw her and then the 2nd time already had a kid and was back at work (in fairness there was an 18 month gap between appts but still!!)

tippytoes06 · December 2013

not really advice, but someone said to me once that if it was this difficult for us to get pregnant, maybe it was a sign we just weren't meant to be parents.

pcrumley · December 2013

CANT BELEIVE SOME ONE SAID THAT YOU YOU @TIPPYTOES06 thats so mean

not really advice, but someone said to me once that if it was this difficult for us to get pregnant, maybe it was a sign we just weren't meant to be parents.

tippytoes06 · December 2013

pcrumley said:

not really advice, but someone said to me once that if it was this difficult for us to get pregnant, maybe it was a sign we just weren't meant to be parents.
TERRIBLE, I CANT BELIEVE SOMEONE SAID THAT TO YOU

We are no longer friends

People just have no filters sometimes...

Love4Science · December 2013

When I told my principal (because I was running a few minutes late to work 2x a month because of monitoring) about our IF and how we were starting to consider adoption, he said:

"You should just start the adoption paperwork, then you'll get pregnant. It worked for my neighbors."

gsancho · December 2013

I've gotten the vacation one.

My mom also tells me that I should stop eating so much cheese and only eat organic and raw foods. I know diet can help, but it's just funny how adamant she is about it (she's a bit of a health food fanatic). If I even ask for queso at a Mexican restaurant, she's like "You see - that's what you need to stop doing!". She's very supportive in all other ways, but it's just annoying when she gets on me for my food.

pcrumley · December 2013

haha @gsancho. when you get pregnant, you should announce it with junk food. lol a friend of mine is a health nut she does the 80-10-10 diet which is all raw fruits and veggies only, shes lost about 140lbs so far. and just got a bfp. so shes blasting it all over fb about her raw pregnancy and how shes glowing. ugh

( [-X :-w ~X(

JAsargalski91512 · December 2013

I hear all the time you need to relax , you need to stop thinking about it. Ha if people only knew how much having a baby crossed all of our minds they wouldn't know what to do with it . It's frustrating cause I want to say here's some advice .."stop giving us advice"

ky29 · December 2013

I was told, "just starve yourself and you'll get pregnant. That's what they do to horses."

tippytoes06 · December 2013

ky29 said:

I was told, "just starve yourself and you'll get pregnant. That's what they do to horses."

Wow....I have no words.....

Love4Science · December 2013

ky29 said:

I was told, "just starve yourself and you'll get pregnant. That's what they do to horses."

WTF? Really?

JAsargalski91512 · December 2013

people always wanna give advice on stuff they know nothing about and then assume they are right in what they are talking about ..such a shame

formerwigirl · December 2013

Can I add one to the mix "it will happen when God wants it to". I am pretty open about my IF journey so I've learned what ones to ignore.

absolutelymaybe · December 2013

I've got the "just relax and it will happen" nugget of awesome more than anything. Or the "just quit trying and it will happen."

@tippytoes06 That is awful!
@ky29 I really hope that person was kidding. Seriously?

@jenschultz85 I really hate that one. It's kind of the reason I avoid talking about it with some of my more religious family members. We got a "it will happen when it's meant to happen" kind of thing over Thanksgiving.

dionnewedding · December 2013

"Maybe you're doing it wrong" Haha, I think it is kind of self explanatory, right?!

pcrumley · December 2013

All these ones are great, not really the horse one, that's weird lol. I've heard the "maybe you're doing it wrong" as well, at a few parties or "are you sure you're doing it right?" Recently my MIL has been on this kick of telling me I'm not ready yet "bc we don't have a nursery" uhm? Usually babies are the reasons for nurseries, and I don't have one. Sorry. She's begged me for a baby for 5 years, now that we're trying and it's not working, she comes up with this gem!

TTCBabyJ · December 2013

I have been told over and over again, "you come from a long line of fertile myrtles...you just breathe on us and we get pregnant." Well maybe I'm adopted.

divinemsbee · December 2013

@gsancho I'm pretty sure my mother is just waiting for her chance after my GYN appointment. I know that the doctor will tell me to continue losing weight, and I'm prepared for that (I'm currently overweight and have dealt with some disordered eating issues that have yo-yo-ed me since I was a teen, I'm focusing on losing it the right way now and being healthy). I'm pretty sure my mom wants the doctor to tell me that the way I'll get pregnant is to be a size 6. It's funny, like she's actively not seeking grandchildren (seriously, has never been excited about the fact that H and I are trying to have a kid). I almost don't want to call her after the appointment because I know that's what she'll ask about first.

hope2bmom83 · December 2013

This isn't really advice but when I was 24 my parents had a late life baby. They told me "Well you wouldn't have a grandbaby for us so we had to have our own." REALLY? Annoying!

brittneyandadam · December 2013

@hope2bmom83 that's pretty aweful. I wonder if ppl hear themselves sometimes. No one knows we've been trying...and I'm kind of grateful now that I hear some of the stuff that ppl say

lmlee15 · December 2013

I love when people say "well this worked for so and so so it'll work for you, just give it time"

thank you so much for minimizing how i'm feeling and making me feel like i'm doing something wrong.... BLAH lol

hope2bmom83 · December 2013

brittneyandadam said:

@hope2bmom83 that's pretty aweful. I wonder if ppl hear themselves sometimes. No one knows we've been trying...and I'm kind of grateful now that I hear some of the stuff that ppl say

Yeah, we didn't want to tell anyone but my RE made my mom get genetic testing done before he would let us start injections due to some family history of breast cancer. (side note thank god it came back negative) She also recently told my family that we were working up to adoption and when I confronted her about it she completely denied it. I was so mad because A- thats a lie & B- why is anybody talking about it? Grrrrr

CandaceC1020 · December 2013

I was recently told we were pregnant because we haven't been trying long enough.

Twinkie0612 · December 2013

My boss:

Have you tried taking folic acid? Umm I've been taking PNVs for years and during an IVF cycle I am on additional folic acid supplements, so yeah I have tried taking folic acid. Folic acid helps prevent nuero tube defects, out of 2 rounds of IVF we have had 1 embryo make it past day 5, so I don't think that's the issue.

ttuprincess · December 2013

I too constantly get the "just start the process for adoption. I know tons of people who couldn't get pregnant and as soon as they adopted they got KU."

::gag me::

Allison7 · December 2013

Besides the standards like relax, take a break from trying, and take a vacation I have received these gems from my mother:

Mom: So and So says that you need to stand on your head for an hour after sex and then you will get pregnant

Me: Mom, I have a balance disorder. I wouldn't be able to walk straight for days if I did that and I would fall over after 10 seconds

Mom: That is why you should lean against the bed, then no issues with your balance

Me: It doesn't work like that

Mom: You don't know that because you haven't tried it

Mom: You need to do more exercise. More endorphins will make you feel better and when you feel better you will get pregnant. Go do some hot yoga.

Me: Mom, doing yoga in a room heated to 110 degrees is actually bad for trying to get pregnant.

Mom: Well, I don't see why. People are always talking about doing yoga while pregnant. If you don't want to do that, fine. Sign up for a run or something.

Me: You know that running is also not good unless you were training for it for years.

Mom: You are just being lazy.

Me: I have a headache.

Mom: Maybe you are pregnant.

Me: No Mom, I am not. I just had my period and I haven't ovulated yet this month.

Mom: How would you know if you ovulated?

Me: The OPKs Mom...the sticks I keep talking about peeing on. They tell me.

Mom: Well, you need to stop doing that. You are never going to get pregnant if you are constantly tracking if you are ovulating or not.

Me: Do you understand how people get pregnant?

Mom: Of course I do, but you are worrying about this way too much. Just stop peeing on things and give it a few months.

Me: Huh. I did that for 12 months. Couldn't stay pregnant. You know that that is the issue.

Mom: and now you are too stressed about it. see what I mean.

Me: I give up.

Mom: So and So says that you should also get some clomid and progesterone and you will be pregnant in no time.

Me: I have an RE for a doctor. And I have done clomid, it hasn't worked.

Mom: Well, I don't know what to tell you. I just talked to so and so and it worked for her daughter.

Me: That is great for her. Can you please stop telling people about this? Like the moms of people that I didn't even like in high school.

Mom: I don't see why you would care. You know this isn't easy for me.

You would never know that she had secondary infertility.

2redtulips · December 2013

TTCBabyJ said:

I have been told over and over again, "you come from a long line of fertile myrtles...you just breathe on us and we get pregnant." Well maybe I'm adopted.

OUCH. Shaking my head at that one.

brittneyandadam · December 2013

@Allison7 I. Am. So. Sorry. The last one really resonated with me..that's why we didn't tell my mom. When I found out about my translocation and explained to her how it affected my fertility, the first thing she did was went through every little thing she did when she was pregnant with me and said that's probably what caused it. I told her that it was probably a de novo mutation...but she's convinced that it's all her fault and she just kept saying how hard it was for her to think that she may not get grandchildren. Thanks mom.

Oh, this one's fun. My little sister has autism and has a hard time with tasks that would let her be independent, have a relationship, have children, etc. When my mom took her to the doc, they "loosely" diagnosed her with PCOS. My mom called me to talk about the appt and started to describe PCOS to me...but was getting a lot of the info wrong.

IE: Mom: Your sister has poly-something in her ovaries...something with cysts...because she has diabetes.

Me: Wow, that's a serious diagnosis mom. She's really diabetic?

Mom: Well, the doctor didn't officially diagnose her. But the doctor said that she's resistant to insulin, so that makes her diabetic.

Me: No, that just means she doesn't have the response to insulin like she should have. That could mean pre-diabetes...

Mom: Same thing, right?

So when I was explaining it all to her, I had to tell her that I was diagnosed too and that's why I knew what she was saying was incorrect. We got to the portion about what it meant for my sister's fertility, and then she said, "Well at least your sister won't have to worry about all that since she won't be having kids."

Oh good mom, yes, at least SHE won't have to go through all the crap. As long as she doesn't have to get poked and prodded several times a month, that's fine. I don't know if my mom made the connection...but my goodness, she sure didn't think about it

NotSoPatientlyWaiting · December 2013

Here's a crazy one - Someone told me I should carry a baby doll around the house...like that would somehow magically trick my body. ARGH. I was speechless....LOL. Do you know how RIDICULOUS that would look?

ronniesgirl1981 · December 2013

@Allison7 Some days I feel guilty for not telling my mother. I'm sorry you to listen to that, but it reminded me of why I chose not to tell her.

pcrumley · December 2013

today we saw my MIL to drop off a wreath (we got out xmas tree today) and shes having surgery tomorrow. so when we went to say goodbye, she says "just dont come crying to me after your doctors appt"

uhmmmm? okay? kind of made me feel like crap. Were already nervous about our 1st RE APPT tommoroow. but i didnt really know how to respond to that. Shes normally so supportive and understanding. Im hoping shes just nervous about her surgery and was being a little bitter.

JadziaDax · December 2013

I hear all the time that I need to gain weight and the reason i'm not getting pregnant is because i'm too skinny. I eat when i'm hungry and I have to watch what I eat because I have issues with my sugar. People always equate skinniness to healthiness and that's just not true. I don't need to force feed myself crap to get pregnant! (I probably would if it would work though lol but it will just make me sick).

Another one I heard is from my Grandmother. She told me to stand on my head after sex and that it worked for her.. ewwwwww..

pcrumley · December 2013

JadziaDax said:

Another one I heard is from my Grandmother. She told me to stand on my head after sex and that it worked for her.. ewwwwww..

@jadziadax gross. lol grandma naked handstands [-X :-t %-(

JMForte33 · December 2013

When I first went to my OB my AF cycles had been getting longer and longer and then I didn't have a AF for 4 months and it had been a year of TTC. All she kept telling me was "Your 28 years old, so i'm not worried"…..ya well I am! Hence why we switched to a RE.

……I've also gotten the "Just get drunk" one

Want a personalized experience?

HORRIBLE ADVICE. (pitch in)

Re: HORRIBLE ADVICE. (pitch in)

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Want a personalized experience?

HORRIBLE ADVICE. (pitch in)

Re: HORRIBLE ADVICE. (pitch in)

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motilityIUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFNIVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!