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October 2012 Moms
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Sil pregnant

rae780rae780 member
in October 2012 Moms
My sil and bil are pregnant with their 4th. They don't know what they're having yet but me and Dh have talked about giving them ds clothes if they have a boy. I really don't want to because ds is our first so I want one more in like a year. . Dh says to lend them ds stuff. I suggested selling them clothes/ car seat/ stroller for a reasonable price. But dh got upset and said that they don't sell stuff in his family, they give. I don't want to lend cause I know they will get returned in horrible non usable condition. I don't think its fair that they get over $1000 worth of stuff for free and when we have another one were stuck buying all new stuff ourselves. What do you ladies think.

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Re: Sil pregnant

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  • Mrs.G123Mrs.G123 member
    I wouldn't loan it if you think it will get trashed.
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  • StefanieM522StefanieM522 member
    I wouldn't give them anything, especially since they are on there 4th child. They should have stuff, if you want to is there some clothes that you would be ok parting with? But if you want another in a year then I would just keep it all to myself though.

                    
                   







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  • rae780rae780 member
    They have two boys 14 and 5. I think they gave most of their stuff away cause they weren't planning on more kids. I think she saved a little bit from the youngest. I feel bad because they do struggle at times but so do we. Everytime they need something or my mil, it's always us that helps. Nobody helps us financially when we need it. But then I don't feel bad, because sil didn't offer to lend me maternity clothes or baby clothes. The two or three pieces of clothes she lent my son, she asked for them back and ds barley used them so they were returned in the same condition they were lent out.

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  • lady dixneuflady dixneuf member
    rae780 said:
    They have two boys 14 and 5. I think they gave most of their stuff away cause they weren't planning on more kids. I think she saved a little bit from the youngest. I feel bad because they do struggle at times but so do we. Everytime they need something or my mil, it's always us that helps. Nobody helps us financially when we need it. But then I don't feel bad, because sil didn't offer to lend me maternity clothes or baby clothes. The two or three pieces of clothes she lent my son, she asked for them back and ds barley used them so they were returned in the same condition they were lent out.
    OK so say no.



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  • blondie42107blondie42107 member
    Don't loan anything out unless you truly don't care if you get it back or in what condition.

    They decided to have a baby, they can clothe it. Keep your stuff for the next. My boys are are two years apart and I love that I've been able to reuse pretty much everything!

     
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  • rae780rae780 member
    Thanks ladies. Dh made it seem like I was being a mean selfish sil.

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  • BabyCarryingVesselBabyCarryingVessel member
    I'm also planning on another baby so I definitely wouldn't lend the necessity things, but I would consider lending bulky baby toys that I don't have room to store.

     

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  • stephcarterstephcarter member
    rae780 said:

    Thanks ladies. Dh made it seem like I was being a mean selfish sil.

    Sometimes you have to be mean and selfish to avoid getting walked on

    Just say no :)

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  • LorMorLorMor member
    Agree with the toys suggestion. Then, if you get them back, great, but if not, no biggie. And, storage!
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  • pinitbabypinitbaby member
    IMO if they chose to get pregnant again then they should be making a budget in preparation for the new addition. While its great getting hand me downs, people (even family) shouldn't expect to receive them.
    My kids were 13, 11 and 7 when LO was born so I had to start all over again but I made amazing use of the thrift shops here.

    Those items you spent hundreds of dollars on makes you the speaker of what happens to them. Clothing and a few toys is one thing but to give away EVERYTHING, especially when its your first, is not something someone should expect from you.
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  • navyandvioletnavyandviolet member
    Right now I am giving away stuff left and right. But I am done having kids. Before that I held onto my stuff with an iron grip because I know I'd need it again. Just give them a nice gift card when the baby is born and be done with it. Your stuff is your stuff.
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  • Rachelilly23Rachelilly23 member
    Um yeah... If this is their 4th and you are planning on having more, giving your stuff away just makes no sense. No one should expect you to give anything away when you're not finished using it because you can not count on it coming back to you, or if it does, probably not in the best condition. Hold onto it!
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