so my mom & I were just talking today, & she was clarifying what role I wanted her to play during the birth process, & she seemed a little surprised at first when I said that of course I would love to have her there for the labor (if she wanted) & then definitely right after the delivery in the hospital (so not DURING delivery). I thought we had clarified earlier on that I didn't want anyone else besides DH in there for the actual delivery, but I guess maybe she was still hoping? I'm not exactly sure. Well so she made me second guess my plan a little bit, but I went home & thought about it, talked w/ DH, & then determined that I really do want it to be just us for the delivery. And not because my mom wouldn't be awesome, btw, because she would be, & I love my mom & we are really close - I think it's just my own personal thing, with being such a private person when it comes to my body (I always have been), & because I don't want to feel self-conscious, & I want that special experience with just DH & then a little bonding time to try & breastfeed before people start coming in.
So I talked with my mom on the phone later tonight & clarified what I wanted with her, & she acted like it was fine but I'm pretty good at reading her & I can tell it still bothered her to some level anyway. It's awesome that she will be respectful of my wishes & everything, I guess I just feel a little guilty now!
I do feel confident in my decision, so it's not that I'm looking to change my mind or anything, but just needing to get my feelings out a little I guess. Anyone else feel guilty about keeping totally awesome family members out of the delivery? Sorry this was so long guise!
Re: anyone else feel guilt about the birth audience??
My mom keeps TRYING to make me feel guilty and I just shut her down real quick. Its something I want to experience with no one else besides my F. No guilt here. I would probably kill my mother if she was in the room anyway.
I honestly don't understand why anyone would want to be in the room period. I don't even want to be there lol
"Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it the more it will elude you but if u turn your attention to other things it will come & sit softly on your shoulder."
BFP! 04/26/11 - DS born 12/28/11 - BFP #2! 04/02/13 - DD born 12/11/13 -
My Ovulation Chart
My Ovulation Chart
As a STM it's much easier because she will be with DS so she gets to play a very special role of entertaining him and making him feel special while mommy and daddy are at the hospital. Her and my dad will bring him up when baby is born and will be the first to see the new LO with DS so that's special too.
If I didn't need someone to watch dd then no one would know when I went I to labor. My whole family lives here, it gets crazy.
Good for you for sticking to your guns!!
2010: Infertility
October 2015: missed miscarriage #2 at 11 weeks (trisomy 22)
Mom+Dad+Josie+May 2015=2 under 2!!!!
Anyway OP, my personality is the same. I always feel bad, but stick to your guns. It sounds like although your mom isn't happy with your decision, she still respects it. This is the time for you and DH and baby. As soon as she meets baby, She'll get over it and everything will be good!
MIL is two hours away, and I don't think she would expect to be there anyway--both her deliveries were c-sections under general anesthesia, so she's never actually witnessed a birth.
We haven't made a final decision on when we'll be calling family before--I'd like to wait until after the baby arrives, but my brother will be dogsitting for us, so he'll need to know when we head to the hospital. Our hospital does 1.5-2 hours of skin to skin and BFing afterwards, so we'll be off limits until then at least.
BFP #2 EDD 10/2015
But I thought I would offer another point of view - I initially didn't want anyone else in the delivery room either. But my mom and I are very close, so I ended up thinking she could be there for labor but I would want her to leave when it came time to push. I also said the same thing to my MIL. But when it came time to push, I didn't care if either stayed, I had other things on my mind at that point.
And I am so glad they were both there with me. My mom was a wonderful support and a day or two later, she thanked me and told me how incredible it was to get to witness the birth of her first grandchild. I know it meant a lot to my MIL too, who has 8 grandkids - she was there for all their births, except one who was born c-section. And it was such a wonderful moment in my life, that I am so glad they were there to see it.
I hope this doesn't add to your guilt, I just wanted to offer a different perspective. You do what's best for you, your husband and your LO.
BFP #5 11/15/14, Team Green EDD 7/22/15
BFP #4 4/30/13, baby girl born med-free Jan. 2014
BFP #3 9/24/12, Missed m/c at 9w1d (baby measured 8w5d)
BFP #2 9/23/10, healthy baby girl born med-free June 2011
BFP #1 5/21/10, Missed m/c at 10w4d (baby measured 8wks), D&C 6/29/10
"Life is like a camera, just focus on what's important and capture the good times, develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, just take another shot."
On a side note everyone has asked if my MIL who's a retired OB will be in there and they seemed very surprised she won't. I'm sorry but I'm high risk and delivering at a "teaching" hospital so the room will already be pretty packed with my regular OB, perinatologist, 2-3 residents, and nurses. She's not offended by any means and said she would be too nervous if something went wrong since it's her grandchild.