Homebirth — The Bump
Natural Birth

Homebirth

I had decided long ago that I wanted to have natural childbirth with my next baby. Now, after reading and research and being SO tired of dealing with unnecessary BS from the medical field, my husband and I have decided to plan for a homebirth. We've hired 2 wonderful ladies that have partnered together to offer doula services and, now that we've officially made this decision, are narrowing down our options to chose a midwife.

I wasn't real thrilled about how some things were shaping up for this pregnancy and birth experience. Now that we have read, talked and agreed on this choice, I'm starting to get excited and I'm confident that we will be able to make this experience wonderful for the small, immediate family who will be involved! :-)

Any suggestions on reading material, birthing methods, etc?

And please, if you feel the need to make a negative comment, down my choices, or try to give me information to "scare" me away from my choices...I would appreciate you simply not involving yourself in this thread.

 

 

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Re: Homebirth

  • Welcome!  This is probably one of the tamest board on here, truly you won't find any negativity here about HBs.  

    I had hospital births, but there are a lot of women on here who are planning or have had HBs who I'm sure will be happy to help.  You might look into Hypnobirthing, I had an amazing experience both times.  

    Glad you found us and congratulations!    
  • @sschwege

    I actually read through a couple threads here that "went bad" somewhere along the line due to differing opinions and such so I just figured I'd throw that in there :-p

    Thanks for the welcome and the suggestion! I'm actually looking into Hypnobabies. I've read about both and a grand majority of the reviews I've come across say that, while they did find hypnobirthing helpful, that Hypnobabies is more complete and answers things that hypnobirthing left unaddressed or unanswered.

    I think my biggest hang up is my self confidence/self doubt, so I'm being very careful to make sure I have the right people around so that I have an adequate support system. I do know that I can do it...even without something like hypnobabies; I know I have incredible strength...I just might need reminding, depending on how things go :-)

    Thanks again!

     

     

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    sschwege
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  • @mrsedwards8812 I am also considering a homebirth for my first child.

    How where you able to ease you family's worry about HB? I still haven't told them. Only DH and I know. But this is really what is holding me back. I'm so strong and decisive but the thought of telling my mother has me not sleeping.

    Good luck and I look forward to exchanging more messages.

    One excellent book to read: Gentle birth, Gentle mothering.
  • Congrats! We are planning a home birth in May for our third baby!
    mrsedwards8812
  • I have had 3 wonderful HB.

    I highly recommend Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon. With our first, we took a short natural childbirth class through our MW. That plus reading Natural Childbirth was more than enough preparation for us. Actually, it's the only book I read again to prepare for HB 2 and 3.

    I definitely recommend keeping an open mind about what you'll want in labor. With J., I had a birth tub available but wanted nothing to do with it. The only thing that felt right was rocking in our Amish rocking chair. I also pushed on my back (yup, the "worst" position) because it felt right and was working. Then with A., I couldn't wait to get into the tub. She ended up being a waterbirth (which I hadn't thought I do). But when I announced it was time to push, I had only been in the water about 15 minutes and in no way, shape, or form wanted to get out.

    Then with S. my water broke about 2 days before contractions started. And I finally started contractions at night. They were very short and very far apart. I stayed in bed and slept between them. When my body told me it was time to change positions, I decided it was time for DH to fill the birth tub. But before he could do that, I realized that my body was telling me to be upright for pushing. And that he needed to catch the baby instead of filling the tub.

    That's the long way of saying, you don't know what will work for you until you are in labor. 

    Also, congrats and welcome.

    @Nancy1250
    Be confident in your decision. If you have done research and thought it through, just tell them. (And this comes from someone who knew her family wouldn't be supportive at first.) If you appear confident, you can just say "We've decided to have a HB. We have done lots of reading and research and decided that's what's right for us." 

    If they pressure you to not have a HB, share your research or say "this is no longer open for discussion."
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  • @Nancy1250

    I agree with @barnwife I have done a lot of reading and research and am personally confident in my decision, as is my husband. I am not one to linger on or care much about what other people think of my choices, though I do understand that some people depend on their families to be a support system (mine has never filled that role very well so I'm just not one of those people).

    I really came to this decision rather quickly. I hadn't considered it much at first because I really dislike where we are right now and it's not intended to be a long term home; that just turned me off to the idea. After the troubles I've had with the medical profession, in general, as well as specifically during this pregnancy, I started looking at alternatives. I spent an entire day looking up stats and reading articles and peoples stories, watching videos and whatnot and all of that helped me realize my opinion and kind of "remember" what I already know:

    Our bodies were created for this. It is a natural occurrence and process. The medical profession has a place, when needed but, in many instances, do more harm than good by getting in the way of the natural process. They also seemed to have tricked women, as a general population, into thinking that we can't handle this or don't know how. We all have instincts and we should be not only allowed but encouraged to use them.

    Of course, we (or at least I know I will) need a good support system to get through this experience. For me that will be my husband, my son, and a team of midwives and doulas (which is already 7 people). I may ask my aunt (my late-mother's sister) or a family friend (my mother's best friend) if one of them would like to be present. I've told the family friend that we're planning a homebirth and she was supportive. I've also told my father. His first response was, "Well, don't take any unnecessary risks." I explained my logic and that as long as no problems arise prior to labor, there should be no issues with being at home and if a problem should arise, the nearest hospital is only a few minutes up the road. after I said my piece, he's been completely supportive of the idea. (so far anyway...he has been known to flip flop a bit but if you knew my relationship with my father, you'd realize how much I just don't care!)

    It is completely appropriate and within your right to tell anyone outside you and your husband that it's none of their business, not open for discussion, etc. especially if they choose not to be supportive. This is your and your husband's decision- no one else's!

    And @barnwife

    Thank you for sharing! I definitely plan to keep an open mind. I am of the opinion that it's better to have too many options than not enough. My husband is already helping to brainstorm about how we'll have to rearrange furniture and get some kind of tub/pool in here. (I do love that man- always so concerned with making sure I get not only what I need but what I want) I'm planning to have the water available for me to sit in simply because warm baths are something I use regularly anyway to help ease stomach pain from IBS as well as back pain from disk and nerve problems in my lower back. Also, so many women that I've read and watched in videos say that the warm water really helps just to deal with the pain/pressure/everything going on. Even if I don't stay in it for the birth, it just seems like a good idea. We'll also have our bed or an alternate bed available.

    With my son, I was numb from my ribs down, for the delivery, so I don't know what felt right since I didn't feel anything! I usually find comfort in rocking/swaying on my hands/elbows and knees when my back pain flairs up real bad, so I imagine that might come into play at some point.

    We have a while to sort through all the details though (EDD: 6/12) I'm sure we'll have everything we can ironed out in plenty of time! :-)

     

     

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  • @joules235

    Thanks for the input! I will definitely look into that book and I've told my father to get me the Hypnobabies home study course for my big Christmas gift this year. I've read so many good things about it and it seems like a great option for pain management.

    As stated above, I definitely plan to have some kind of tub/pool available and I've seen right many women say they really liked using a birthing ball so I plan to look into that as well!

    The trusting myself and my body I generally don't have a problem with...like I said, I know I can do this...I know I have more than enough strength... I also suffer from depressive symptoms and PTSD. Little things have the possibility to distract me or trigger certain feelings...self doubt happens to be a big one for me. This is a big reason for making sure I have the right support system around me for this experience and making sure that I am really building and setting us up for a truly good experience. At least, as much as I/we have control over. Hopefully with some extra self dedication and work over the rest of the pregnancy, I'll at least have started overriding some of the negative reinforcement that is stuck in my mind and I won't have many problems.  Hell, I may not have any problems at all...I am VERY maternal. Once my instincts kick in, this may be a mute point anyway! 

     

     

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  • @joules235

    lol "birth junkie"...I like it! What you said does indeed make sense to me. I know exactly what you mean. Even though I was numb for the delivery of my son, once everything was all said and done and I looked back over the pain I had felt and dealt with and just dealing with the whole situation being as young as I was, it was the most empowering feeling I had felt, to that point in my life. I think there's something just so powerful and moving about the whole idea of giving birth...perhaps we all become 'superior to our prior selves'.

    By the way, your daughter (that's what DD is right?) was born on my birthday :-)

     

     

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  • joules235 said:

    Its kind of funny, sometimes when I'm feeling down or really stressed or something I will watch the birth video and it always lifts me up. Its a nice reminder of the experience, aside from all the memories of course.

    Yes DD is daughter and I can't believe she is already 1!!  Happy 12 days late Birthday :-)  She also shares a birthday with another friend of ours and when I was about 25 weeks he said "oh she will be born on the 10th because only the best of people are born then." He called it lol.

    Yes, time certainly does fly! I'm still trying to come to grips with the fact that I will officially be the mother of a teenager in just a couple months!

    Thanks and birthday hugs to the little one :-)

     

     

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  • I had a med free hospital birth with my 1st and a HB with my 2nd. I loved my experience at home and I'm really proud to be a part of the HB movement :) I knew my family would be unsupportive, so I told them I wasn't interested in hearing their opinions! I did my research, and they were not going to change my mind. GL mama!
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    Nancy1250mrsedwards8812
  • Wow. I love this thread.
  • @Nancy1250

    Feel free to PM me, if you'd like to talk!

     

     

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  • Baby Catcher by Peggy Vincent is an amazing book as well as Birth:  The Surprising History of How We Are Born by Tina Cassidy. I also enjoyed reading HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method. These were all books I read for my doula certification and I read them surfing my last pregnancy. I want a homebirth so bad with this baby, but my husband just isn't comfortable with it. My midwife is super awesome, but still I know this is out last child, last birth and I wish I could just have a homebirth. So please keep updating your adventures in the homebirth process, I can live through all the wonderful homebirth stories I read. Good luck!
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  • @LOVEmyLUTZS

    Thanks, I'll look into those! I'll have to email my doulas about all the book recommendations I'm getting and see if they have them available for me to borrow!

    I'm sorry your husband can't seem to get on the same page with you...that's upsetting. I was actually kind of surprised my husband hasn't had more to say about it. I mean, he's always supportive of me and my choices, I guess I just was expecting at least more questions or something. He said his only concern was if I tear or something (his son was over 9lbs and 13" across his shoulders) my research and our doulas have assured him of all the preventative measures they take and the time allotted/considered appropriate for getting stitches...aside from that all I've gotten is, "You're the one that will be most at risk, I leave that decision to you." I guess he just really trusts my judgment..?

    I will definitely post updates! It's so nice to have a place like this to be able to share what's going on and have people actually care and be supportive! I don't have much of that out here so it's nice to know I can find it somewhere! 

     

     

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  • I love this thread, too.
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  • joules235 said:

    If you are going to have a doula make sure they read the birth partner Hypnobabies info as well as the first section about language. Thereis actually an online Hypnobabies class for doulas. It is basically so they know the correct terminology as well as the relaxation cues.

    I didn't know ahead of time but, one of my doulas is a hypnobabies doula and the other has attended many births where it was used. :-)

     

     

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  • @smsalat
    Everyone that I've spoken to does have some sort of emergency plan; the doulas, for helping to make sure things stay on track as Mom would like  and midwives, because everyone has to acknowledge that it is possible for things to go wrong or not as planned.
    Personally, my doulas and midwives have already told me that they will stay with me through the entire process, no matter what that might turn out to be.

     

     

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  • smsalat said:
    I don't know if this is typical with midwives/ dulas, but I know of a person who had planned a home birth. She went through with her midwife a list of what-ifs. In case something went wrong through pregnancy and labor. The. Midwife said that it is not resorted to frequently, but they keep it on file, just in case....they like to be prepared for the what ifs. Unfortunately while laboring at home with the midwife, there were complications and the plan went into action, her midwife went with her via ambulance to the hospital and her husband met them there. It was scary, but both mom and baby were fine. Best of luck to you at your home birth.
    That is why you hire a MW, for the 'what ifs'.  
    mrsedwards8812[Deleted User]LaurelBee
  • I'm also loving this thread!


    I've been planning my homebirth for a while and it is finally on the horizon! My due date is Friday but my midwives will let me go up to 42 weeks. 

    I did Bradley and Hypnobirthing in preparation, I hope to update this board very soon on how it went. We have our birth tub set up and I hope to have a water birth.

    All the best to the other mamas!
    Wishing you a beautiful birth! Can't wait to hear how wonderful it was. ❤❤❤

  • @herbabymama
    I can't wait to hear how things go for you! Prayers for a wonderful experience for you and baby!

     

     

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  • I second Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth-very informative! I also found The Birth Partner to be helpful.

    With my home birth (frank breech, 7 lb 12 oz, back labor-ouch!) I really found laboring in my bathtub to be helpful with pain management. I had planned on laboring in a birth tub, but I went into labor and progressed quickly. I had one transition contraction outside of the water and it was really bad. My midwife brought a large PVC pipe birth stool, and I pushed with my legs up on the sides of it in a supported squat, after trying several other pushing positions. I also spent my early "kinda pushy but not quite ready" phase sitting on the potty with my feet on a small footstool. It helped get baby into a good position in my pelvis and felt most comfortable for me.

    Good luck! I loved my home birth and felt very calm and relaxed!
    mrsedwards8812
  • I too am planning a homebirth for my first child, and as soon as my husband and I made the decision, I just felt that everything was right in the world. My family is super supportive (my mom had all three of us at home), but for the in-laws, and others nay-sayers, my best reply has been "I've done my research, and this is what I believe is the healthiest and safest for myself and my baby." Hope that helps.
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