Nicknames - How do they Stick?

ClaireHuxtable · November 2013

I see so many posts that are like, "Help me with nicknames for my DS/DD. Oh and all the obvious ones...? We hate those so, never mind."

So, I was wondering how much control do parents have over the development of their child's nickname? What happens if no one likes the nickname you made up? What if they go rogue and make their own nickname? What about when the child goes to school and their friends nickname them? As a parent do you have to step in and correct someone every.single.time they use the one common nickname for your child you happen to hate?

As a person who named their child a name with no obvious nicknames and whose own name has no variations of a nickname, I don't get it. Please enlighten me.

Also, I asked a lot of questions, please don't feel you have to address them all! haha

EDIT: 'Cause I hate wonky formatting

Helenahhandbasket · November 2013

That's a great question-- H and I are NN lovers-- although both of our names have no natural NNs.

DD is Josephine, but we call her Josie probably 80-90% of the time. We tried out the NN first when I was pregnant. Before long, we were referring to my belly as "Josie" so it felt really natural to call her that as soon as she was born.

Also, we introduce her as "Josie". Sometimes people ask if it's short for anything, sometimes not. If she decides to go by something else I am fine with it-- I like all of the NN's for Josephine-- JoJo, Joey, Posey etc.

One of our other front runners for Josie was Elizabeth, but I dislike a lot of the natural NNs (Liz, Beth) and that's what ultimately made me shy away from that name this go 'round.

brightyellow2 · November 2013

I don't care what people call my kids nick names are for me and I kinda get annoyed when people who aren't close try to use my nick name. Ha

ClaireHuxtable · November 2013

Helenahhandbasket said:

That's a great question-- H and I are NN lovers-- although both of our names have no natural NNs.

DD is Josephine, but we call her Josie probably 80-90% of the time. We tried out the NN first when I was pregnant. Before long, we were referring to my belly as "Josie" so it felt really natural to call her that as soon as she was born.

Also, we introduce her as "Josie". Sometimes people ask if it's short for anything, sometimes not. If she decides to go by something else I am fine with it-- I like all of the NN's for Josephine-- JoJo, Joey, Posey etc.

One of our other front runners for Josie was Elizabeth, but I dislike a lot of the natural NNs (Liz, Beth) and that's what ultimately made me shy away from that name this go 'round.

Yes, this all makes sense. This is one of the reason I went with a NN-less name for my son, however, when I was growing up, I always wanted a nn. Go figure.

I guess you would have to start early to get in the habit of calling your child their nn - I think Josie is sweet.

evaazalea · November 2013

When we named DS I agreed to Tyler bc I love Ty. As a baby he was TyTy, he gets very mad if we or anyone calls him that now (except his baby sister). He gives me a pass on Ty but no one else. DD will answer to both Holly or Dolly, she legitimately believes he name is Holly Dolly.

ClaireHuxtable · November 2013

@hisgirlfriday929 - I agree with you that it's more about being familiar with someone and less about establishing a nickname.

So when do you ever go by Katherine?

ClaireHuxtable · November 2013

@Tysmomplusone - Holly Dolly - so cute!

@joy2611 - Leesie is made all the better by her coming up with it on her own. Love!

emmy236 · November 2013

I don't think there is any real definitive answer, depends on names and situations. Some parents go in with a NN ready like Bobby or Betty. Others use to distinguish between another family member with that name like in juniors. Sometimes after the baby was born and a sibling couldn't say the name a NN can stick like Lele, Didi etc. Then sometimes kids pick their own. My sister hated Carolyn so she goes strictly by Lyn

mmb248 · November 2013

My dad picked out my name, Melissa, and my mom only liked it for the nn Missy. I love her, but come on. I didn't even know my name was Melissa until I was 5 and she yelled it to get me to stop and I kept right on going. She asked if I had heard her and I said, "I didn't know who you were yelling at. My name is Missy."

By the time I was 9, I was appropriately mortified by Missy and introduced myself as Melissa at school. Since then, only my family and a few friends who have known me since kindergarten call me Missy.

My mom calls me Melissa all the time now, except when I'm exasperating her, and then I'm Missy. She did a complete 180.

JaysonandKristin · November 2013

I don't care what my kids choose to call themselves. When they get older if they want to introduce themselves to someone as a name completely unrelated to their given names, so be it. If they want to change their names at age 18, so be it.

I did the best I could to name them with love and respect for their futures. If the names don't suit them, there was no way I could anticipate that.

All this to say that I think it's ultimately up to the child.

That being said, we introduce our kids as we want them to be called.

Our DD is the only one with a name that has natural NNs, and we still haven't decided which one we will use.

lifeonthehill · November 2013

My family shortens everything to the first syllable. Hadley is Had, Audrey is Odd, Tyler is Ty, Kyle is Ky and my family tried to shorten my name to Al and my mom would have it. She said no and used my full name and it has always stuck.
When I hit elementary school I was Lissy or Lissy Doll with friends and teachers after the doll in the movie Matilda. My mom hated it but couldn't stop it. By middle school I was Lyss or Lyssa and then in high school I wanted to be just Alyssa and I have been since.

We plan to name our future DS Oscar. We realize it will be shortened to Os and if it grows on us we will leave it we don't we will just push for Oscar. When he is older it is his choice.

If it matters that much to someone then parents need to keep all NN in mind when naming because your child may choose it himself later on.

Seakernal · November 2013

Since this was obviously in response to my post, I'll answer. My son is named Andrew, and that's what we call him. We prefer Drew over Andy, so that's the nickname we use for him and that's what we tell other people his nickname is when asked. In 2.5 years, we have only had to correct one person, and it was someone my husband and I both had never met before. If he wants to go by Andy - or any other name - when he's older, that's fine with us.

As for the Natalie nickname question, I don't know many Natalies IRL and was curious if others had experience with other nicknames for that name. The only Natalie I know goes by her full name but I wasn't sure if that was the norm. If we don't like the nickname options then we won't use the name because I know, at least in our family, nicknames are inevitable, especially for babies.

ClaireHuxtable · November 2013

@Seakernal - it was necessarily in regard to your post that this question was asked - lots of people have asked. I've wondered this for a while and I guess your post just triggered a discussion starter.

We're cool, right? haha

blu-eyedwife · November 2013

HisGirlFriday929 said:

I'm a Katherine (which I know everyone probably knows at this point since I say it constantly - so, sorry!)... I go by Katie because it's what my parents called me. Sometimes my Dad says Kate, but in general, it was Katie. So I continue to go by Katie because it's the name I identify with. I'm sure if they called me Kathy, Kat or Kate - I would be going by that right now. So I think the parents do have a fair amount of control.

This is me. I use the nickname my parents used for me. I have friends who have made up variant nicknames, and they use them, and I'll respond, but I don't personally refer to myself by those names.

My son has a name with one obvious nickname. I go back and forth between his name and nickname, DH mostly uses his nickname, and he refers to himself by his nickname. Whatever he chooses is really fine by me.

queenbone · November 2013

With Theodore, I really dislike Ted, but love both Theo and Teddy. We went with Theo in the beginning because I worried that Teddy would inevitably get shortened to Ted rather than a successful transition from Teddy to Theo. At age 6 he loves just Theo, much more than Theodore and certainly NOT Ted.

I don't mind the NN's for DS2's name, but so far we mostly call him by his full name. I felt Frank was too harsh for a baby.

In general I feel like most people follow the parents' lead. But once the child is old enough to have a preference that ought to be respected.

allardr · November 2013

I definitely think NN when picking a name because I think worst case my child will go by that. So if I dislike a common NN I'll avoid that name.

I think parents are who introduce their child as a kid so they take the lead on what child will go by. Later child introduces themself so they take the lead. I also think it's common for family and friends to use different names. I'm Ryan to almost everyone, but my closest family & friends call me Ry. It just kind of came and I liked having a name for closer people to call me, like a way to show endearment.

Overall I'm anti NN (at least in a way that you never go by FN, the occasional use is nice). We will name our children names that thus have no or few right off NN associated with it.

First question after Annabelle was born: will she go by anna or belle? I said Annabelle. No other questions and no NN from others so they respected that. I doubt anyone else would just randomly shorten her name without hearing someone do so first.

zitrone · November 2013

My mother was anti-nn for me. For the time I lived in her house, people only called me by my name or unrelated nicknames (i.e. Lemon from a camp codename, Wiener from my aunt's comment about my thinness as a kid). Once I moved out, people called me whatever made them comfortable, even my siblings who have always preferred nicknames.

allardr · November 2013

Seakernal said:

As for the Natalie nickname question, I don't know many Natalies IRL and was curious if others had experience with other nicknames for that name. The only Natalie I know goes by her full name but I wasn't sure if that was the norm. If we don't like the nickname options then we won't use the name because I know, at least in our family, nicknames are inevitable, especially for babies.

The only Natalie I know went by Nat all growing up. Not sure what she goes by now (in her 20s)

Seakernal · November 2013

@ClaireHuxtable yep, we're cool. I'm just usually more of a lurker than a poster!

jordannpaige10 · November 2013

Im not sure how they stick. My name is Jordan. I've never felt like there were any really obvious nicknames, but my family has called me Tootie for the whole 21 years of my life, and my mom swears there is no real significance behind it. And I never really told people growing up because it was embarrassing, lol even though my aunt screamed "Wooo go Tootie!" At any school function I was involved in.

I had one friend in Elementary that called me Jor, Jor. Which I HATED but allowed ONLY her to call me that.

In high school my bestfriend called me Jordie, and it pretty much spread like wild fire. Most people in my tiny high school called me that, and continue to now.

My daughter is probably so confused, because we call her 15 different things. Madelyn aka Sugar, Mady, Punkin, Libby, Mady Bug and I'm sure a million others.

raw1299 · November 2013

You just keep calling them that, and it sticks. They continually hear it growing up, and its a "norm". I was always called DJ, and my sister nutter butter. My name is Rachel and my sisters is Steph. My parents still call us that. lol

JayJay1212 · November 2013

mrscjmb9410 said:

DS is Isaac.

When I was pregnant, DH and I honestly thought we would call him Izzy. Isaac seemed like a big name for a little baby and a little boy...My dad insisted that he would call him Spike (because Isaac = Ike = Spike, apparently?).

We call him Isaac. He's 20 months old and if a stranger asks what his name is, he most often answers 'Eye-ack!'

My dad did try to get 'Spike' to catch on, but my step-mom noticed it was bothering me, and she told him to quit it...and to her credit, he stopped.

My older brother is Isaac, my dad told me that he started calling him "Ike" very early on because people were starting to call him "Zac" and dad wanted to nip that in the bud.

cmw&tdm · November 2013

Seakernal said:
As for the Natalie nickname question, I don't know many Natalies IRL and was curious if others had experience with other nicknames for that name. The only Natalie I know goes by her full name but I wasn't sure if that was the norm. If we don't like the nickname options then we won't use the name because I know, at least in our family, nicknames are inevitable, especially for babies.

I have a Natalie who goes by her full name. We also call her nana, nanny, or nat nat. More formal nn options include Tali, or you could use Natasha (nickname for Natalia) or Sasha.

coopsbaby · November 2013

We're nicknamers here. I have a Breanna who we fully intended to call Bree, but her older brother started calling her "B" and it stuck. We started spelling it Bea once it stuck, and that's just what we always call her, so that's what she prefers. Once she was old enough she introduced herself as Bea, and corrected people who called her Breanna or Bree.

My son Gregory introduces himself as Greg, and Hillary introduces herself as Hillary, but it always gets shortened to Hilly, which she's fine with since that's what we call her.

DH goes by a nn of his middle name, but since that's how he introduces himself that's what people call him. That's what his parents called him as a child, so he goes by it. He doesn't correct anyone at like the doctor's office or anything, but he does not like his fn (Eugene, so you can't blame the guy.)

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