Christmas is insane around here...

Re: Christmas is insane around here...

• KatieB19 member

  November 2013

  You might also notice the lack of a celebration for just the three of us. I'd really like to have the tradition of coming down in pj's, opening gifts, eating a lazy breakfast, playing... But there is no time for that shenanigans until the 26th, and by then ds will have been to 4 different xmas celebrations and he will have opened presents at 3 if them. So usually we do a small but quick thing on xmas morning before heading to the ILs.

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• Loading the player...
• chardonnay24 member

  November 2013 edited November 2013

  We used to do a mid December party (with about 100 people) for my SFILs family, Christmas Eve evening with my aunts, uncles, and cousins, Christmas morning with my parents, Christmas early dinner with my ILs, and Christmas dinner with my grandparents. We'd usually have a friend party thrown in there, and a Christmas show with my sisters and our SOs, plus work parties. It was ridiculous.

  
  

  We now do Christmas Eve with my aunts and uncles, Christmas morning with my parents and grandparents, and Christmas dinner by ourselves. MIL hosts a Christmas dinner the weekend before or after Christmas now, so we are able to celebrate with all the ILs, including SFILs family and family friends. The Christmas season is FAR more enjoyable having less parties to attend. I'm so glad we made the switch. I sometimes feel guilty, but I also love having a little time with our little family, so it's worth it to me.

  
  

  ETA: I don't think it'd be rude to decline the engagement party at all.

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• MrsCodeMonkey member

  November 2013

  That is a lot of plans. Can you cancel the Christmas morning get together? I would want to spend it at home in pjs opening presents and eating a lazy brunch.
  
  I think people do expect presents for engagement parties. I couldn't make one a month ago and after looking at the pictures I'm wondering if I should have sent a present. I'll see the girl in person over Thanksgiving, so I'll give her something then. It looked like their engagement party was bigger than our wedding.

  
  

                               
  

                             Just said good bye Sept. 19th (MMC at 12 weeks)

  Report0 Reply
• KatieB19 member

  November 2013

  So I was taking to dh and he suggested we do our own thing on the solstice, especially since we are not religious so xmas is just a day for giving. I really like that idea, takes the stress out of cramming in our own celebration. This year he has off for it, but it might be tricky in coming years.
  
  I wish I had the guts to tell my mom that we want to stop going to her house on xmas eve. She wants to keep it going because that's what we did as kids, but we don't live there anymore. We don't even live nearby, we're an hour and a half away.
  
  I think we are going to decline the engagement party. Dh isn't up for it either.

  
  

  Report1 Reply
• Arcadia1114 member

  November 2013

  Holy plans! Wow! ILs come down on Christmas leave and leave the day after. We stay in. Last year, we stayed in sweats all day.

  Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

  Report0 Reply
• PhantomPower member

  November 2013

  Wow, that's a lot! We open presents with just us 3, head to the in-laws for a late breakfast/gifts, drive over to my parents house for early dinner/gift exchange then head back home to relax the rest of the night.
  
  It sounds like skipping the engagement party is a good idea. Good luck with everything-the holidays can get so hectic!
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• kristennd member

  November 2013

  Did your mother continue all the Christmas traditions she grew up with? That's one counterpoint.
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• meo34 member

  November 2013

  Another vote for too busy.  Our families are out of town so quiet Christmas morning for us.  Last year we travelled which was nice and an exception, but not really fair to expect that every year.  It is tough the first year we did it but fine after that.

  I would also skip the engagement party and just send a present, they are not really a thing around here so I might not be the best judge but no one has had one in my circle or relatives or friends.

   

  Report0 Reply
• KatieB19 member

  November 2013

  kristennd said:

  Did your mother continue all the Christmas traditions she grew up with?
  

  Yes. My grandparents are first generation American. Outside my mom's immediate family of parents + 5 kids, the only relatives living in the states were my grandmother's parents. And so all 5 siblings have celebrated every Christmas together since they were kids. That's what the celebration on the 28th is, a continuation of that tradition from when they were kids. And we eat lasagna every year.

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• KL777 member

  November 2013

  Wow!  When DH and I were engaged, I remember going to six houses in two days.  We said "never again." 

   

  I would definitely cut some of that out. 

  
  
  
  

   

  
  
  
  
  
   

   

  Report1 Reply
• KatieB19 member

  November 2013

  Of the 12 grandkids/cousins/whatever you want to call us, they will be the fourth to get married. The first 3 of us did not have engagement parties. There was one surprise engagement announcement at a 4th of July party (obviously no one had gifts). And then the other two (not me, I was across the country from everyone) had a bridal shower.
  
  No idea why they want to be special snowflakes and have an engagement party. I have zero doubts that there will also be at least one bridal shower. I personally think it's rude to have that many pre-wedding celebrations where gifts are expected. Maybe that should be my FFFC.

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• kristennd member

  November 2013

  Maybe engagement parties are traditional in the new in-laws' family. Mine doesn't do them but DH's family does. (We nevertheless didn't have one due to geograpy.)
  

  

  Report0 Reply