Christmas is insane around here...

KatieB19

Ok does this sound like a crazy schedule, or is it just because I'm a home body? Here are our xmas holiday plans...

Dec 24
late morning celebration at my parent's. It's just with my parents, my sister and maybe her bf.

evening celebration at my aunt's. Easily 30 people. Least required to go to, but most fun.

Dec 25
late morning celebration with FIL and sMIL.

late afternoon celebration with sFIL and MIL. Large family party, probably 20 people.

Dec 28
xmas celebration for my mom's side. Probably 25 people. Least fun, most required. Most of the family I see here I will have seen at aunt's party on the 24th.

Dec 29
engagement party for my cousin. Do these things really happen?? Are gifts expected? By the way, same exact people I will have seen on the 24th and the 28th, although obviously the bride's family/friends will be there too.

Jan 4
xmas celebration for my dad's side. We see them maybe once a year. 40+ people, although a good time.





I think my biggest issue is seeing my mom's side of the family on 4 separate occasions. If I could pick and choose, I'd just do the two things on xmas eve, but seriously sooooooo much guilt if we don't see them on the 28th. Is it rude to decline the engagement party? No plans just, really, I need a break.

KatieB19

You might also notice the lack of a celebration for just the three of us. I'd really like to have the tradition of coming down in pj's, opening gifts, eating a lazy breakfast, playing... But there is no time for that shenanigans until the 26th, and by then ds will have been to 4 different xmas celebrations and he will have opened presents at 3 if them. So usually we do a small but quick thing on xmas morning before heading to the ILs.

chardonnay24

We used to do a mid December party (with about 100 people) for my SFILs family, Christmas Eve evening with my aunts, uncles, and cousins, Christmas morning with my parents, Christmas early dinner with my ILs, and Christmas dinner with my grandparents. We'd usually have a friend party thrown in there, and a Christmas show with my sisters and our SOs, plus work parties. It was ridiculous.

We now do Christmas Eve with my aunts and uncles, Christmas morning with my parents and grandparents, and Christmas dinner by ourselves. MIL hosts a Christmas dinner the weekend before or after Christmas now, so we are able to celebrate with all the ILs, including SFILs family and family friends. The Christmas season is FAR more enjoyable having less parties to attend. I'm so glad we made the switch. I sometimes feel guilty, but I also love having a little time with our little family, so it's worth it to me.

ETA: I don't think it'd be rude to decline the engagement party at all.

MrsCodeMonkey

That is a lot of plans. Can you cancel the Christmas morning get together? I would want to spend it at home in pjs opening presents and eating a lazy brunch.

I think people do expect presents for engagement parties. I couldn't make one a month ago and after looking at the pictures I'm wondering if I should have sent a present. I'll see the girl in person over Thanksgiving, so I'll give her something then. It looked like their engagement party was bigger than our wedding.

KatieB19

So I was taking to dh and he suggested we do our own thing on the solstice, especially since we are not religious so xmas is just a day for giving. I really like that idea, takes the stress out of cramming in our own celebration. This year he has off for it, but it might be tricky in coming years.

I wish I had the guts to tell my mom that we want to stop going to her house on xmas eve. She wants to keep it going because that's what we did as kids, but we don't live there anymore. We don't even live nearby, we're an hour and a half away.

I think we are going to decline the engagement party. Dh isn't up for it either.

Arcadia1114

Holy plans! Wow! ILs come down on Christmas leave and leave the day after. We stay in. Last year, we stayed in sweats all day.

PhantomPower

Wow, that's a lot! We open presents with just us 3, head to the in-laws for a late breakfast/gifts, drive over to my parents house for early dinner/gift exchange then head back home to relax the rest of the night.

It sounds like skipping the engagement party is a good idea. Good luck with everything-the holidays can get so hectic!

kristennd

Did your mother continue all the Christmas traditions she grew up with? That's one counterpoint.

meo34

Another vote for too busy.  Our families are out of town so quiet Christmas morning for us.  Last year we travelled which was nice and an exception, but not really fair to expect that every year.  It is tough the first year we did it but fine after that.

I would also skip the engagement party and just send a present, they are not really a thing around here so I might not be the best judge but no one has had one in my circle or relatives or friends.

 

KatieB19

kristennd said:

Did your mother continue all the Christmas traditions she grew up with?

Yes. My grandparents are first generation American. Outside my mom's immediate family of parents + 5 kids, the only relatives living in the states were my grandmother's parents. And so all 5 siblings have celebrated every Christmas together since they were kids. That's what the celebration on the 28th is, a continuation of that tradition from when they were kids. And we eat lasagna every year.

KL777

Wow!  When DH and I were engaged, I remember going to six houses in two days.  We said "never again." 

 

I would definitely cut some of that out. 

KatieB19

Of the 12 grandkids/cousins/whatever you want to call us, they will be the fourth to get married. The first 3 of us did not have engagement parties. There was one surprise engagement announcement at a 4th of July party (obviously no one had gifts). And then the other two (not me, I was across the country from everyone) had a bridal shower.

No idea why they want to be special snowflakes and have an engagement party. I have zero doubts that there will also be at least one bridal shower. I personally think it's rude to have that many pre-wedding celebrations where gifts are expected. Maybe that should be my FFFC.

kristennd

Maybe engagement parties are traditional in the new in-laws' family. Mine doesn't do them but DH's family does. (We nevertheless didn't have one due to geograpy.)