Special Needs
AbbyM84
member
Options
I've been a lurker for about a week and am ready to introduce myself. with a little venting.
AbbyM84
member
Hi there! So, I've been lurking on this site for about a week as I am also on the March 2014 board. My boyfriend and I just got a confirmation on the 11th that our baby boy has a cleft lip on the right side and the doc says more then likely will also have a cleft palate. We are due around March 26th but from my latest measurements it is anywhere between the 22nd and 26th. This news has been a total shocker to us and I know I'm having a hard time processing all of the information given to us. I'm just so sad and confused on why this is happening to our sweet little baby. I think my family is all thinking that I'm only upset because that he is going to come out looking different then other babies but this isn't the case at all....he is perfect already in my eyes. The stuff I'm most upset about is knowing my baby will have to go through surgeries already at such a young age. And I know I've heard it already a million times..."At least he will be young and not remember." "Cleft lip/palate is so common and easy to be fixed." "Well, at least this is the only thing you have to deal with." Yup! I'm over all of that "nonsense" talk....I still feel like crap and like it was something I did wrong (I know I did nothing wrong) And all of the other complications that can come from this is sooooo overwhelming! Special feeding techniques that not only do I and bf have to learn, but teaching other caregivers, grandparents, aunts, uncles and anyone else wanting to help out. Just a lot to take in already at only 21 weeks in to the pregnancy and just more to come!
Thanks so much for reading and taking time to listen to my rant....I really don't know who else to talk to about all of this yet as I really don't know anyone in my area yet going through something like this or has gone through something like this.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I've been a lurker for about a week and am ready to introduce myself. with a little venting.
Everyone here is really nice and you non-judgmental. It's completely normal to go through the process you are, you are grieving how you thought things would be. I am sorry you will have to deal with all of this but eventually one day, it will be a distant memory.
FWIW, It did make me feel better that dd1 was too young to remember most of her surgeries (now that she is 4--I feel way worse when she has stuff done)
However YOU feel is completely normal.
HUGS
The first year was the most difficult, mostly due to feeding challenges and 3 surgeries, being our first child. But we could not imagine our lives without our son. He is perfect and a very typical boy. He has had a few bumps along his road (speech, ear tubes) and will have to have more surgeries but he is such a strong and brave boy.
I can try to answer any questions you have!