Babies: 3 - 6 Months

Hard time with fact I Induced! Please help!

ATB1381ATB1381 member
edited November 2013 in Babies: 3 - 6 Months
Having a really hard time with the fact I Induced!

My blood pressure has always been normal except when I visit the doctor office, but never increased over normal (140/90) until I was 36 weeks pregnant (145/85 ish).  I was being seen by midwives at a hospital and 2 out of 6 started talking about me inducing at 36-37 wks.  I was not happy with this and declined.  At my next two appointments my BP was even higher (in the 150s/90s) but would go down after resting and being monitored for an hour or so.  Blood work and urinalysis came back normal and no protein in urine. At 38 weeks 5 days BP spiked to 165/83 and a 24 hr urine sample was performed. I took the sample back in the next day and after waiting 3.5 hrs for results, it came back negative (NO Protein At All).  However, my BP initially that day was 161/82, came down into the 150s/80s after 30 mins then back and forth 130s to high 140s over those 3.5 hours.  Two midwives were on and both recommended that I induce that night because even though I was not Pre-E it could happen suddenly or I could have a placental abruption (detachment, causing me to spontaneously bleed out and lead to emergency Csection).  After hearing the possibility of bleeding out and potential to loose baby and me, my mom and husband freaked and wanted me to induce. I felt confident that because I was having to symptoms of Pre-E, blood and urine results were normal and baby checked out fine, I would be fine to go home for another few days at least. I was 38wks 6 days at the time, no dilation, and wanted to wait just a little longer in the hopes baby would come on his own. Plus the numbers indicated a greater risk of having a C-section with induction (25%) than the 1% of placental detachments and 7% of pregnancy ending in Pre-E. But after bringing in another doctor how again urged me to induce and seeing my mom/ hearing my dad on the phone panic with possibility of loosing both baby and I if something went wrong and we couldn't get to hospital in time (45min drive from home), I gave in and induced.

Everything went fine with induction.  I was 1cm dilated when we began but had cytotec, balloon, and then on pitocin for 7 hours only up to 7 units and labored total 18 hrs (whole process 21 hrs with no pain medication, no epidural).  I was so pumped that I was able to do all that with no pain meds (not even Tylenol) and no epidural.  And it seemed like he was probably going to come within a few days because the induction went smoothly and was fairly short compared to some women I've heard and read about.  He was a happy healthy beautiful 7 lb 5.3 oz little boy and is now 5 months old.  However, I still regret giving in and inducing. 

I keep going over and over and over in my head that I should have stuck to my guns and walked out of the hospital that night at 38 wks 6 days pregnant and given it another few days at least.  There were no signs of anything wrong, just intermittently high blood pressure only at the doctors (fine at home) and swelling in my feet and ankles. But everything else was normal.  Even after 5 months I still wake up at night having mini nightmares about it. I keep telling myself its stupid to feel this way because everything turned out fine but I can't seem to shake the feeling that I failed in some way.  All I wanted was a natural birth, especially naturally going into labor but what I got was the complete opposite. Everything I said I wouldn't do or have done I had, minus the pain meds.  I guess I just feel like I didn't let my son come when I he was ready.  I felt like everything was fine, me, him and that all would still be fine if I waited longer, but I didn't wait and I'm guess I'm just kicking myself now for it and for feeling like I gave in to everyone else's wishes instead of listening to myself and my intuition.  My hubby says I need to stop worrying about my feeling and how I felt but I don't know how to do this.

 We are talking about possibly having another baby but I'm scared to death this will happen again and next time won't go so smoothly.  Maybe this is why I keep thinking about it alot lately.  I just wish I could move past this but I'm not sure how too.  I'm doing much better now than the week after I delivered but it's still on my mind more often than not. 

Anyone else have similar situation or feeling? Any thoughts that might help?  I haven't talked to any other moms about this but thought here might be a good place to start.  Sorry for such a long story. Thank you in advance!!

Re: Hard time with fact I Induced! Please help!

  • How you feel is how you feel please do not let anyone tell you differently. Sometimes well meaning people will say things like, you have a healthy baby that is all that counts. But wishing you had a different experience does not mean that you are any less happy with the outcome.

    Allow yourself time to mourn the loss you feel and if the feelings continue or get worse dont be afraid to ask for help. You might x post on the natural birth board, they will know where you are coming from. Sending hugs your way.
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  • Thank you so much sschwege!! I really appreciate the post and kind words. It's getting better and I hope in time will go completely away. Thank
    you again!

  • Why do you think you are failure if your LO is healthy?
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I am a firm believer of "when baby is ready, baby will come" and wanted to go into labor naturally. Unfortunately, once I reached 41 weeks I was told I had to be induced even though there were no signs of problems or complications. Overall the rest of my labor went as planned. I almost had to have a c-section after the 24hr marked passed, but thankfully my LO got moving and he was born perfectly healthy after an hour of pushing.
    Sometimes I feel like a bit of a failure that I didn't fight to do it on my own, but then I look at my LO and realize it doesn't matter HOW he was born. He won't remember and doesn't care. What matters is that I love him unconditionally, and be the best mom I can. Focus on the now, and hopefully the rest will get better.
  • BlueJewelMBlueJewelM member
    edited November 2013
    I had an awesome delivery at 41 weeks with DS1. I refused induction at 40 weeks and was so glad I did. Perfect delivery!!!

    I waited to nearly 42 weeks for DS2. I refused the induction a week earlier.

    I almost died having DS2. No kidding one bit. I ended up pre-eclamptic and immediately after a pretty great labor and delivery I started hemmoraging. They had trouble getting my uterus to contract to control the bleeding and I needed a transfusion. My blood pressure went from high to 70/35. I couldn't hold ds2 for 3 hours afterwards because I was shaking and hysterical after my delivery.

    There are no guarantees waiting avoided a scary situation or that it didn't. You make decisions based on the info you have. A big part of me wishes I wouldn't have refused induction. It may have saved me some trouble.

    But I can't think that way. I made choices and I just deal with it. No sense in regret or wishing it went differently...because I have another perfect little boy!

    So honestly, it sounds cold, but you really just need to accept things how they are and deal with it. Making peace with things that have happened is a far healthier alternative to regret. Plus it's a skill I hope to teach to my boys.
     DS1 8/2011. DS2 8/2013.

  • I have the same feelings.  I was over a week late and they insisted I induce, and I was worried about getting a c-section.  After being in labor for 14 hours the doctor came in and started talking about c-sections and about how I could  push for days but that baby wasn't going to come on it's own even though I had a totally normal pregnancy.  I was exhausted, in pain, unable to really think about things and make the same kind of decision I would have if I wasn't in labor.  My husband was really worried, so we went ahead with the c-section.  I had a perfect pregnancy, no other issues, and have this nagging regret that I should have held out longer or tried harder.  I've switched OBGYNs since but yeah, it's hard to deal with.  What's important is I have a healthy baby.
  • Are these comments helping at all? Sometimes it's good to hear the other stories.. Here's mine- 1st preg everything great until hbp as well and I was with mw's so I was induced.. Never wanted hospital birth and all the interventions and epidural!!! But it's what I had to do. There were some minor complications later but it's all figured out now. Fast forward 3 years later I have a beautiful healthy 10 mo boy .. Was so worried that he would be early too.. Ha ha my sister was right he came 5 days late immediately after an acupuncture treatment. Had him at home in b pool in 2.5 hours!!! Please don't worry about the future. If you can't let the induction go maybe you so need to talk to someone but just know that you're not alone, that you have a healthy little one and you'll be so super busy with two you won't even be Able to think!! Much love. K
  • This is exactly what happened to me. I developed mild hypertension towards the end of my pregnancy with no pree and my doctor still wanted to induced. I was not inducBle so I was in the hospital for 5 days total .. 2 days it took to make me induceable and on the 3rd day, I delivered my son. I was 39 weeks pregnant. He's now 8 weeks and it killed me inside knowing that I listened to my doctor. I mean, com'on, my due date was the following week! I even went for nonstress tests twice a week, and they all showed that baby was doing great! My doctor scared me into getting induced by telling me that I can get a stroke, my baby can detact from
    Placenta, ect... The list goes on... I also suffered from really bad anxiety, so once I left the doctors, my blood pressure went down significantly. It didn't matter what I told my doctor, he was convince that I needed to be induced at 39 weeks. My advice is to not let it weigh you down. It's done and over with, and there's nothing you can do to take back your experience. The only thing you can do is learn from
    Your experience and realize for next time around that you have a voice and you can and should use it. I made the mistake of listening to my doctor, and although he went to medical school, he can't force me to do anything. Everything turned out fine, but it definitely was a long process that was not worth it. Next time I'll wait the extra week, even if I have high BP. Sorry for the speel! I hope this helps!
  • I had a C-section so I can't relate with being induced but I can tell you it was hard for me for a long time to know that I didn't experience giving birth vaginally like I had planned. I'm a FTM and had a wonderful pregnancy, I LOVED being pregnant. It never crossed my mind that I would have a C-section, so like I said before it was very, very hard. In the end though we just have to be blessed that we have healthy babies and that is all that truly matters. As far as another baby, don't stress about it now. I've been told each pregnancy is different. Keep your head up :)
  • I wanted and had prepared extensively for a med-free birth, and I got an induction and then an epidural after 12 hours of hard pitocin induced labor and not having slept in 2 days due to stress about the health of our baby.

    Essentially, I thought I would be upset, but after she was born, I pretty much didn't care since she was healthy. While I made plans, I went into it knowing that I didn't have any real control. 

    I think you need to accept what happened. Honestly, I agree with whatever PP mentioned PPA or PPD, considering your fixation on it. 

    I hope you feel better about your labor and delivery soon. 

    12/19/2012 BFP! 
    EDD 08/26/2013 
    Our little girl arrived 8/22/2013!
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