question for other SAHM's, vent about FB

vlagrl29 · November 2013

I am about ready to call someone out on FB, but I wanted to make sure I wasn't the only one that feels like this. One of my FB friends posted today about why she is not going to let her kid go to public school and will either homeschool or private school instead. I have no problem if people do this, it's what is best for everyone in their family. I'm choosing to go the public school route for now anyways. It may change. I do know however that I won't homeschool because I know it's something I have no interest in and I know DD would be better taught by someone that wants to teach and can do a better job than myself. I stated my opinions on her feed and then someone I don't even know said this in reply to me: It's really sad to say you're sending your kids to school simply because you don't want to be around them. That's one of the many things that's wrong with our society these days. Parents pawn their children off on others. Public Schools are awful. I agree with xxxx, and My child will be home schooled. We already belong to a co-op and my child gets interaction with other children every day. I would prefer to be the one with my child everyday. Not someone who's taught to teach my child.

Then here was my reply to that: i was not saying i'm sending my kids to school because i don't want to be around them. that's taken out of context. can you honestly say that you prefer to be with your child all.the.time. I think you aren't being honest with yourself. I'm a better mom when i have a few breaks from my kid. she is going to PDO now once a week for socialization and for me to get a small break from her for a few hours once a week. It's made me a better mother and she has already started using more words to communicate with me. There are lots of teachers that teach because they want to. I have a certificate to teach music in public schools but i choose to teach private lessons instead, but I love to teach and the teachers I worked and still work with love their kids in the classroom. I have no desire to homeschool, why do something you don't want to do. I want my child to be taught in the best way possible and there are better teachers than me out there. I don't think public schools are that bad. We may do private schools but only if we can pay all of our bills, fund our savings, and retirement properly.

Her reply: I'm sorry you feel that way. That must be a very sad feeling.

I don't like drama, especially on FB. But she is starting to annoy me. I'm not the only mom that feels like this right? I'm not wanting to start drama on here either, just wanting other's opinions. Don't want to offend those on here that are homeschooling

vlagrl29 · November 2013

yeah, that's why I thought I would post it on here. I'm like, come on i know there are mom's that just want a break. no I don't know her. I do feel like some moms think they are so perfect and she must be one of them. I wish I could post a funny gif on there

vlagrl29 · November 2013

I tend to block people that annoy me even if I don't know them LOL

honkytonk_kid · November 2013

Her response is rude, but I'm not sure why you engaged in the first place. Let her post all she wants about homeschooling, who cares? "Calling her out" is going to do nothing to convince her of anything.

vlagrl29 · November 2013

honkytonk_kid said:

Her response is rude, but I'm not sure why you engaged in the first place. Let her post all she wants about homeschooling, who cares? "Calling her out" is going to do nothing to convince her of anything.

I thought that maybe she misunderstood me because I didn't really post a long reply before her rant. I was mistaken obviously. I just feel like some people shouldn't criticize others decisions about their family. that's me having too much hope for people on FB.

Disneygeek77 · November 2013

Her response makes me so sad. This is why we as mothers struggle so much with guilt, anxiety and even depression all because ya know... we need breaks from our kids every once in a while and no that doesn't make us bad mothers.

I think it took a lot of courage to admit that maybe you wouldn't be the best person to teach your children. Kudos to you.

vlagrl29 · November 2013

gwapes said:

vlagrl29 said:

I tend to block people that annoy me even if I don't know them LOL

haha me too.

But I block family too if they annoy me.

I'm not friends with family on FB. HA! for a reason

nevertune · November 2013

I could never give my son the socialization he thrives on if he were with me all the time. I'd have to have him in a zillion extra activities and that's not exactly being with ME all the time. I'm super-introverted and probably would have done well being homeschooled and not feeling bogged down by my peers. My son is a totally different character. He does his best in group settings.

Also, I'm the worst teacher in the world. I'm trying to help a first grader with homework and getting frustrated that I can't convey the knowledge I have in my brain to him in a way he can understand. If I homeschooled, my poor child would suffer.

And those public school teachers are so devious! I hear they all hate kids and just took those jobs for the money. None of them could possibly be more qualified to teach my kid than me! *rolls eyes*

honkytonk_kid · November 2013

vlagrl29 said:

honkytonk_kid said:

Her response is rude, but I'm not sure why you engaged in the first place. Let her post all she wants about homeschooling, who cares? "Calling her out" is going to do nothing to convince her of anything.

I thought that maybe she misunderstood me because I didn't really post a long reply before her rant. I was mistaken obviously. I just feel like some people shouldn't criticize others decisions about their family. that's me having too much hope for people on FB.

Yeah... people are crazy everywhere

zbeesma86 · November 2013

I had FB in college and got rid of it when I was job hunting and working.

Haven't had it since. Don't really have an urge to get it back- I like instagram wayyyy more

mylittlesunshine · November 2013

IMO, judging like this woman is doing is more often than not a form of insecurities in her decisions she is making. I wouldn't say anything else and move on. Mommy martyrs are the worst

vlagrl29 · November 2013

thanks everyone! I've moved on and am ignoring. I'm not use to FB drama because most of the friends I have don't participate in it. I don't like drama IRL, so why put up with it on FB?

Spin313 · November 2013

The home school topic kind of drives me crazy. I'm sure that there are some parents who are great home schoolers (especially those who do it as part of a community so the kids get socialization and access to different subjects and learning styles), but teaching is NOT something that everyone can do. I couldn't walk into a hospital or a court room and start trying to do the job of a nurse or a judge. These people are trained professionals in their field...just like teachers.

2-Step · November 2013

You can't expect to state your opinions on something controversial and not expect someone to try to draw you into a bigger fight about it. Say nothing or just say that you think each family makes the decision that is best for them and it's nice we all have options to do what we want with our children's eduction, unlike many places in the world.

This is why I never post about politics, education or religion on facebook. People spend time just looking for fights and debates. I do like FB for the social side and that is it. Anything I wouldn't talk about with strangers at a dinner party is off limits for me.

magentawarped · November 2013

As someone who actually does want to homeschool, I would never judge another parent for not wanting to. It's not something everyone can or should do. Even when homeschooling, I plan to enroll her in programs so that I can get her out of my hair every once in a while. Saying that you want to kid in public school because you don't want to be around your kids is just stupid. Unfortunately, a lot of homeschool moms tend to be sanctimommies. I have my reasons for homeschooling, you have your reasons for public schooling, and I'm cool with that. People are just asshats sometimes.

AimeeL85 · November 2013

That woman sounds like a complete snot. I wouldn't be able to help it and I'd have to respond to her, but the others are right, you should probably just leave it.

But what was your first reply to the post? You didn't post that and it sounds like she saw something different than what you described to us.

pitterpatter129 · November 2013

I got dragged into an "un-schooling" conversation with some friends face-to-face today (my friend said she wanted to sail around the world on a boat with her child and participate in un-schooling and was completely serious.) It's kind of hard to be diplomatic when you think the other side is BSC. Probably best to just roll your eyes and let this one go.

vlagrl29 · November 2013

AimeeL85 said:

That woman sounds like a complete snot. I wouldn't be able to help it and I'd have to respond to her, but the others are right, you should probably just leave it.

But what was your first reply to the post? You didn't post that and it sounds like she saw something different than what you described to us.

this was it: I know personally I can't homeschool. not cause i don't want to but i don't want to be around my kids 24/7

And her reply since then: It must be sad to feel that someone else, someone you don't know, is more capable of teaching and raising your child than you are. And also to feel that you can't spend too much time with your child without needing them to be somewhere else. I can't imagine that feeling. I couldn't imagine not watching my child grow and being the one to celebrate every success my child achieves. I will keep you in my thoughts.

I told her to keep me in her prayers as well. LOL, then I blocked her:) Ignoring was the best advice and I'm glad I did it. At the time I just wanted to tell her she was a bitch. come to find out my friend's husband emailed me on FB to let me know that this person is a step sister to my "friend" and they never agree with anything she says and she is also a lesbian who adopted her child. Then another friend that was part of the conversation private messaged me on FB to let me know she was so sorry that lady was so mean to me and to not beat myself up for it. Very nice girl.

rockyrollgirl · November 2013

OMFG! What a Runt with a C!

zbeesma86 · November 2013

rockyrollgirl said:

OMFG! What a Runt with a C!

I'm watching SATC and Charlotte just did her C U Next Tuesday bit.

vlagrl29 · November 2013

mom2JBMS said:

I never post here but my blood is boiling. I have homeschooled my children for 6 years now and that is the kind of BSC that make us all look bad. What a jerk. Block and don't look back. Gross!

I am cool if people want to homeschool, private school, or whatever they feel is best for their children. Just don't preach it to others. I didn't know people like her existed!

HBirdie · November 2013

I only read the first few responses, but I just wanted to say... anyone who pretends they want to be with their kid 24/7 with absolutely no breaks is a lying douchenugget.

And I sit here saying that when my kid is only six weeks old and I haven't really been away from him yet. I just hate the holier-than-thou attitude that women have when they pretend to be perfect parents who never want to leave their kids EVER.

RedInLove · November 2013

What a judgemental bitch that responding woman was! I probably would have replied back with something like "I'm sorry you're so judgemental and narrow minded. Your life must be so plain and empty. How sad."

Mrs.Castaldi · November 2013

People like that drive me crazy! It's not even just mom stuff, I have to block people around election time too. I'm fine disagreeing with people, I can't stand these holier than thou people

honkytonk_kid · November 2013

gwapes said:

poundsigns are almost enough to make me delete FB.

Almost. Yeah its a huge timedrain but without it I wouldn't get to talk to family or see my nieces/nephews because we're everywhere. (I mean that in the creepiest way possible). Benefits outweigh the negatives in my case.

@honkytonk_kid why not engage? You can't have debates/disagreements on FB? How do you know she won't change her mind? People on here change their minds during debates all the time based on others inputs/new information. No difference.

I mean, I guess I understand more with some updates, it doesn't look like the crazy was apparent until after she posted. It just seems like you'd be more likely to argue around in circles and get mad than you would change someones mind, especially on hot button issues like schooling, BF, vaccines, etc.

As a rule, though, no, I don't get into FB debates. I prefer a good face to face argument with people I actually want to be talking to

ridesbuttons · November 2013

Ahhhh, facebook sanctimommy.

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