Depression / intrusive thoughts / etc (possible triggers)

wedbliss5 · November 2013

Sorry its so long, but I really need some opinions here.

After I had DD1, I dealt with PPD and it wasn't until my OB asked if I had thought about harming my DD that I realized I really was having issues. Now, (possible triggers) I never imagined hurting DD so much as I had lots of thoughts about rnuning into the center median and driving my car of a bridge while DD was in the car (horrid, I know). I seriously broke down in my OB's office when I realized that, was put on Zoloft, was on it for about 2-3 years, and then weaned off it abotu a year and a half ago I believe. No more intrusive thoughts. Until recently, where those images of driving off a bridge have once again started to creep up. And its not that I plan on following through (obviously), nor am I dealing with the other issues I had when dealing with PPD (crying all the time, etc), but just HAVING these thoughts has sort of scared me, especially since I have no idea how easy or hard it would be for somethign to cause me to follow through (since I never did before). So... are these random horrid thoughts more common that I realize? Do I really need to be worried if I'm not showing any other signs of depression? Or, is this the beginning and i really should mention something at my next Dr appr (Dec 2) - or even call now? As great as i felt on Zoloft, there are also concerns that it completely killed any sex drive that I might have had, so both DH and I were frustrated by it, so I'd rather NOT be medicated if i really don't need it.

Thoughts?

vstevens · November 2013

Honestly, I think you need to be worried and raise this right away with your doctor. Those kinds of thoughts are not normal. I say that with absolutely ZERO judgment, as someone who has struggled with depression myself, but recognizing that honesty is really important when dealing with depression.

There are med options other than Zoloft to consider, which may affect you / your sex drive differently. Your OB may not be the one to go through all of these options with you - they are not experts in this. A psychiatrist may be a better option. Ultimately, however, I think getting those thoughts and feelings under control is more important than a year or two of sexual frustration, and if the only way to do that is through medication, that's what's best for you and your family.

ScarlettDahlia · November 2013

I'd absolutely bring it up to your OB and I don't know that I'd wait until your next appointment.

While you might not act on the thoughts, it's still something that you should be seen for. I've dealt with things like this throughout my life and when these thoughts start creeping in, it's always better for me to get in to see someone sooner rather than later.

There are many other medications that your doctor could put you on. Just because Zoloft worked for you, there are others that you could try that might not have the sex drive killing side effect.

And I'm sorry that you're having these kinds of thoughts. They are scary and I hope you can get in to talk to your OB about them. ((((hugs))))

MamaP19 · November 2013

If you're having those kinds of thoughts again, you need to mention it to your doc ASAP.

I'm not saying medication is the answer or that they will prescribe you something while you're pregnant, but your mental health is way more important than having a strong sex drive right now.

miam4 · November 2013

Hi sorry for all that!

I think you should call your doctor. Your appointments is too far and we never know where our brain can take us. For safety, and for you to sleep better, please call your doctor and let him know what is going on

We are here for you!!!!

sarahmarie2 · November 2013

I think that you should talk to your doctor. I'm going to be a FTM but depression is something I've really struggled with in the past, and my doctors and FI are on high alert for PPD. I know how much the side effects of meds can suck, maybe see if there are other options? A different med or counseling? I agree with PP, you deserve to be happy, and if you're having these thoughts there's room for inprovement. Plus, you don't need the added stress of worrying about why they're occuring or how far you are from actually doing something. I think it's a really tricky situation, and as good as it is that you're aware of it, you should address it as soon as possible. You and DD deserve better.

megngregk · November 2013

Just another person saying talk to a professional right away. You need to do it for you own wellbeing as well as your children's. At least you're recognizing it this time, but if you don't address it with your Dr it will likely get worse. It's better to just get the help you need now. ::hugs::

LabPupLuv · November 2013

I think it's great that you are aware of your thoughts and are recognizing the symptoms early. I agree with all of the advice above, but I particularly like BKau's advice: regardless of whether or not you think you'll follow through with any of the thoughts you're having, there's no reason for you to go through life even having those thoughts at all.

bethughknee · November 2013

This is definitely something to mention ASAP. Maybe your OB could recommend a psychiatrist who has a lot of experience with PPD or is more familiar with treating pregnant women. It took me a while to find a psychiatrist who was willing to help me with my anxiety while pregnant with more than just "Have you tried deep breathing or sleepy time tea?" but I am really glad I stuck with it and found him.

I think it's very healthy that you recognize that even the thoughts presenting themselves again is a bad sign and that now might be the time to take action, rather than waiting for the hormonal fluxes that will come after delivery. Even though most antidepressants are Class C's, that doesn't mean they are totally off limits. It just means that not much is known about affects they COULD have, but if the benefits of taking one are going to outweigh the risk of NOT taking one then that might be what's best for you AND your family. I'm really sorry you are going through all of this and I hope that you find some relief in either talking with your OB or finding a mental health practice or professional who can help you out. :::bump hug:::

wedbliss5 · November 2013

Thanks ladies, I guess the fact that I don't FEEL depressed or sad or anything, its just randomly here and there when I'm driving that I get that whole picture in my head of driving off the bridge (which seriously, WTF is that all about anyhow!?!?). I'll get in touch with my Dr's office today and get their input.

waterlily2k2 · November 2013

I get those thoughts too, except usually when it's just me in the car. And just like you, I would never actually do it. I also think "wtf is this about" too. I was planning on just waiting until after this LO is born to get on something because it's pretty infrequent, but still there. I'm having a lot of anxiety issues and mental breakdowns as well, but I have 5 more weeks or less, so I figured I'd just suck it up until then. I've dealt with depression, panic, and anxiety on and off for about 13 years, so I usually know when I can talk myself out of my funk or if I need some help. But often that line is pretty grey. I agree with pps, well done for recognizing it and being honest and open about it. It's not an easy thing to do. I'm really glad you posted this @wedbliss5 because I'll be talking to my OB now to see what options I have that are safe for pregnancy that I can start now. So, thank you

AnnikaD20 · November 2013

Depression/anxiety during pregnancy is super common- almost as common as PPD/PPA (which over 10% of women experience), so your OB is used to seeing it. They'll have good advice, and can refer you to a specialist if needed.

As someone who's struggled with depression and anxiety in the past, I've been talking to my OB about my emotions, and it's really helpful to know that there's someone else keeping an eye on things.

It sounds like your thoughts are kind of rare, so that may affect your decision on meds. Personally, I've had a few really bad days over the course of the pregnancy. But as long as it's an occasional bad day and I bounce back, I'd like to keep trying to deal with things my usual ways (diet, excercise, spending time with friends, taking a bath, etc.) before I go on meds. It's great once I'm on them, but the transition on and weaning off kind of suck. So I view them as an option for if I'm feeling stuck, and not my first choice. But I know they can really help, and there's no shame in using them if I need to.

I'm glad you're going to talk to your OB and that you're being proactive about this, and whether you decide you need the meds or not, it's super helpful to have an outside perspective on things.

wedbliss5 · November 2013

Thanks everyone - I called my Dr's office and they have me coming in on Monday.

rowanthefrog · November 2013

I have a long history of depression and I've had those thoughts. I've found that those are often my first sign that I'm starting to spiral downward. There have been studies done that show if you are showing some depressive signs in pregnancy then you are more likely to to have PPD. I would definitely mention this to your OB and perhaps even get a prescription for Zoloft proactively to start taking as soon as you deliver.

Thankfully I never had PPD, but my older sister had it pretty badly. She was a mess after the birth of her first child. She started taking zoloft immediately after she gave birth to her second child and she said it made a world of difference.

Don't let depression get on top of you, you can get on top of it. Big hugs.

A

Shmiggles · November 2013

I struggle with depression and have had massive amount of issues with medications so I do it drug free now. I'm also a counsellor. It's important to recognise these thoughts as just thoughts and to not give them power over you. These thoughts aren't uncommon but if they are distressing you it is important to talk to someone. Make it clear to the doctor you would like to avoid medication, which would be my advice giventhat you have said you aren't experiencing any other symptoms of depression and get a referral to a counsellor or social worker.

runnergrl6675 · November 2013

Great advice from PP. I have intrusive thoughts too, and was on Lexapro before I got pregnant. Call your dr ASAP. I know how hard this is and if the thoughts are coming back in force, get help immediately. You are not alone when it comes to this!

cyndilouwho77 · November 2013

My last OB was able to put me on Wellbutrin 2 weeks before I had my 2nd DD and it really did make a huge difference...this Dr. just kinda side eyes me so its on my list to bring up again!

tesskerr · November 2013

Everyone has given you great advice. Depression sucks. I have had thoughts like that nearly daily since I was 12 years old. I am nervous about PPD, as I won't be able to use working like a crazy woman as a distraction. I found Effexor worked well. I am. It taking it at the moment, I will start again after birth. I am very nervous because it makes me very sick for a week or so, but so worth it for me. Good luck!

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