Replacing things kids break

rosesandpetals · November 2013

What say the SAHMs?

I have a friend who has no kids and 2 nieces (technically her husband's nieces). She was babysitting and one of them broke the television (did something to the screen, I'm not entirely sure what happened but it sounds like the screen is cracked/destroyed). The kids are generally undisciplined and she has known this for years, so this behavior is over-the-top but not entirely out of the blue. She knows the girls' parents don't have the money to replace the tv, at least not anytime soon.

Would you expect them to replace it? How would you react? Have your kids ever destroyed anything pricey that belonged to someone else?

The girls are 2 and 4.

rosesandpetals · November 2013

cjcouple said:

My kids, I would replace it and just explain how they need to be more cautious. Honestly, a TV wouldn't be replaced same day so some of the "wait" would be lesson teaching in itself. Accidents happen and I taught them to be respectful of belongings

If a child breaks something on purpose, they would replace it by working it off etc. or not replaced at all if it is a personal belonging

I should probably clarify, they broke my friend's tv. She was babysitting at her house.

LatteLady5 · November 2013

Does she have the money to replace it? Your friend I mean...How old are the girls? If I knew the parents didn't have the money I'd talk to the parents about having the girls do work to replace the television even if it was an accident. Then they would at least learn that their actions have consequences and what it means to make it right.

If my kids did that I'd pay to replace the tv and make them work it off too. SIL used to nanny for a little boy who broke his parent's brand new big screen tv by throwing his toys at it...twice.

alli2672 · November 2013

I don't know. I would probably expect the child's parents to contribute toward replacing the TV.

My kids have never broken something valuable of someone else's or vice versa, so I have never been in this position. I am pretty sure that if it happened, we would pay for it.

rosesandpetals · November 2013

LatteLady5 said:

Does she have the money to replace it? Your friend I mean...How old are the girls? If I knew the parents didn't have the money I'd talk to the parents about having the girls do work to replace the television even if it was an accident. Then they would at least learn that their actions have consequences and what it means to make it right.

If my kids did that I'd pay to replace the tv and make them work it off too. SIL used to nanny for a little boy who broke his parent's brand new big screen tv by throwing his toys at it...twice.

She has the money but she's not happy about having to spend it on something she all ready owned. TBH, she and her husband are kind of cheap (and I love them so I mean that in the nicest way possible). So even though she has the money, she's really bent out of shape about having to pay for it.

Part of me agrees with her, they broke it and they should pay for it. Another part thinks, she was babysitting, she's responsible for keeping them from doing crazy stuff. If she thought they were too out of control to behave well, then she shouldn't have agreed to babysit. So I don't know. I really don't know what I would do.

The parents are flakey. They don't have the money but even if they did, they're the type of people who would spend it on an ipad rather than step up and offer to pay for the television unless asked to do so. I only know this because she has been complaining about them for as long as I've known her, hah.

ETA: the girls are 2 and 4.

jensriot · November 2013

I really see both sides here. If my kids break something I'm probably going to offer to replace it. Certain circumstances may change my mind though. If my friend is babysitting my kids and sets up t-ball in the living room and that activity results in a broken tv, then I think my friend is responsible. It may be a silly example, but I have a friend that has done this with her kids (luckily no broken tv...yet).

Andrewsgal · November 2013

If my kids broke something of someone else's I would replace it.

That being said what kind of TV are we talking? We have tvs that cost anywhere from $300 to 5k. I am extremely strict about how they behave sound our big screen.

LatteLady5 · November 2013

roses&65335678 said:

LatteLady5 said:

Does she have the money to replace it? Your friend I mean...How old are the girls? If I knew the parents didn't have the money I'd talk to the parents about having the girls do work to replace the television even if it was an accident. Then they would at least learn that their actions have consequences and what it means to make it right.

If my kids did that I'd pay to replace the tv and make them work it off too. SIL used to nanny for a little boy who broke his parent's brand new big screen tv by throwing his toys at it...twice.

She has the money but she's not happy about having to spend it on something she all ready owned. TBH, she and her husband are kind of cheap (and I love them so I mean that in the nicest way possible). So even though she has the money, she's really bent out of shape about having to pay for it.

Part of me agrees with her, they broke it and they should pay for it. Another part thinks, she was babysitting, she's responsible for keeping them from doing crazy stuff. If she thought they were too out of control to behave well, then she shouldn't have agreed to babysit. So I don't know. I really don't know what I would do.

The parents are flakey. They don't have the money but even if they did, they're the type of people who would spend it on an ipad rather than step up and offer to pay for the television unless asked to do so. I only know this because she has been complaining about them for as long as I've known her, hah.

ETA: the girls are 2 and 4.

Yeah, I get that. If my kids broke it I'd pay for it but at 4, they'd work it off for me. I don't know that would work with a 2 year old. I guess it depends on how it was broken...was it an accident? Was it on purpose? Did she let them get out of control? Even so though, in my experience, even kids without tons of boundaries at home can learn boundaries and proper behavior pretty quickly as long as the adult in charge is on top of the behavior...

I don't know that I'd feel comfortable asking the parents to replace the television even though they probably should. I do understand why she's upset.

pitterpatter129 · November 2013

I can't imagine not offering to pay for it if my kiddos broke it. If someone else's kids break something expensive, I don't think it's all that rude to suggest they pay for it if they don't offer. At least it's just as equally rude as not offering. Your kids shouldn't be so out of control that they can't behave in someone else's home. I agree she shouldn't offer to babysit again though if she can't find something to entertain two kids long enough to keep them from breaking a television. Sounds like a combination of both poor babysitting and poor behavior on the kids' part. The children's parents should be responsible for replacing it though if their children broke it.

Allycat11 · November 2013

I would pay for it if my child broke something that belonged to someone else. On the other hand I would never ask someone to replace something of mine that their child broke.

notkateanymore · November 2013

If my child broke something, we would replace it. We actually had something similar happen to DD's phone, our friend's youngest son broke it the first night she had it, but thank goodness we were able to fix it...bc it sure was awkward!

notkateanymore · November 2013

ExpectantSteelerFan said:

That's really hard because they aren't her kids, but they were in her house and she was responsible for them. If the parents had been there and neglected to watch them and they broke the tv, then I would expect the parents to offer to at least help pay. But your friend was the one in charge. If the girls are so bad that she couldn't keep them from breaking stuff, then maybe she shouldn't be watching them?

Umm...I fail to see how it's only her fault and to solve it she just shouldn't watch them? I mean, I get if she wasn't watching them at all and they did a normal kid thing and it accidentally broke...but we don't know the whole story and saying it's her fault it happened is not really fair IMO.

alli2672 · November 2013

roses&65335678 said:

LatteLady5 said:

Does she have the money to replace it? Your friend I mean...How old are the girls? If I knew the parents didn't have the money I'd talk to the parents about having the girls do work to replace the television even if it was an accident. Then they would at least learn that their actions have consequences and what it means to make it right.

If my kids did that I'd pay to replace the tv and make them work it off too. SIL used to nanny for a little boy who broke his parent's brand new big screen tv by throwing his toys at it...twice.

She has the money but she's not happy about having to spend it on something she all ready owned. TBH, she and her husband are kind of cheap (and I love them so I mean that in the nicest way possible). So even though she has the money, she's really bent out of shape about having to pay for it.

Part of me agrees with her, they broke it and they should pay for it. Another part thinks, she was babysitting, she's responsible for keeping them from doing crazy stuff. If she thought they were too out of control to behave well, then she shouldn't have agreed to babysit. So I don't know. I really don't know what I would do.

The parents are flakey. They don't have the money but even if they did, they're the type of people who would spend it on an ipad rather than step up and offer to pay for the television unless asked to do so. I only know this because she has been complaining about them for as long as I've known her, hah.

ETA: the girls are 2 and 4.

It sounds like neither of them thinks this friendship is worth the cost of the TV.

Clearly the babysitting friend doesn't think the friendship is worth writing off the TV, anyway.

joyfullyfound · November 2013

Hmmm... toughie. In general, ff DD broke something of someone else's, I'd always offer to replace it... but on the other hand, if I was babysitting a friends kid, and they broke our TV, I wouldn't let them pay for a new one... it just seems like way too much money, and it was just an accident (unless her kids are assholes). Especially with family, as in your friend's case. Maybe she could pay for part of it? I think if I was in the situation, that's what I'd do.

rosesandpetals · November 2013

I don't think the kids intentionally went out and tried to break the tv, but she says they were being out of control, not listening, that she couldn't clean up one mess before they made another. At a 'congratulations' party she had for her husband when he passed an important test for his job, the older girl stuck her hand in the middle of the cake and started eating it. So it is stuff like that, they're just not disciplined at home so they get out of control.

I think it would be weird to ask knowing they didn't have the money. She's letting her husband handle it. And AG, to answer your question, she said it was going to cost them almost a grand to replace it. They could have gotten a cheaper tv, of course, but she wanted a comparable one.

pastalady · November 2013

My best friends boys were over at our house one night while we were babysitting them. They broke our brand new exercise bike. We didn't say anything to my friend. But we don't let them play with anything valuable. They are really rowdy. They wanted to play with my iPad last time and I said no. We don't have them over much anymore since they break so much stuff, especially DD's things. She is super anal about her toys. She knows where every single piece is, has never broken anything herself, her toys look brand new. Maybe it's her autism , I don't know but the boys know now they cannot touch her stuff.

ASullivan1231 · November 2013

If DS broke a family or friends TV I would buy them a new one. What were they doing to crack a TV? That seems like more than just a normal accident to me.

If a niece or nephew broke our TV I would never ask them to buy me a new one but I'd be annoyed as hell.

ETA: a kid who knows better and sticks their hand in a cake is a jerk and their parents are jerks or just dumb

pastalady · November 2013

I do get the issue with out of control kids. My best friends boys have thrown the wii controller through 3 different vs, no lie! Her home is full of dents and holes where the boys have thrown each other through. But I would never comment on her parenting or how insane they are lol!

Tigger & pooh · November 2013

So did she tell the friend the kids broke the tv? How did the parent react?

Andrewsgal · November 2013

pastalady said:
I do get the issue with out of control kids. My best friends boys have thrown the wii controller through 3 different vs, no lie! Her home is full of dents and holes where the boys have thrown each other through. But I would never comment on her parenting or how insane they are lol!

Bullshit! Wii remotes have wrist straps after the first time the Wii would have been our of my house. This is 100% your friends fault for letting it happen more than once!

rosesandpetals · November 2013

Tigger & pooh said:

So did she tell the friend the kids broke the tv? How did the parent react?

She was babysitting her nieces, so the girls' mother is her SIL. She let her husband handle it but they didn't outright ask them to replace it because they know they couldn't. I was just wondering what others would have done.

magentawarped · November 2013

Morally, if they were my kids, I'd replace the babysitter's TV. Legally, (in many places, at least) she's the one who is supposed to be supervising the kids. The fact that they're wild anyway doesn't really matter...she could have declined to watch them. I say split the difference and ask for half the cost of the TV, and see what the parents say.

Tigger & pooh · November 2013

roses&65335678 said:

Tigger & pooh said:

So did she tell the friend the kids broke the tv? How did the parent react?

She was babysitting her nieces, so the girls' mother is her SIL. She let her husband handle it but they didn't outright ask them to replace it because they know they couldn't. I was just wondering what others would have done.

I understood that. I wasn't sure if they actually told the parents that the kids broke the tv.

rosesandpetals · November 2013

Tigger & pooh said:

Tigger & pooh said:

So did she tell the friend the kids broke the tv? How did the parent react?

She was babysitting her nieces, so the girls' mother is her SIL. She let her husband handle it but they didn't outright ask them to replace it because they know they couldn't. I was just wondering what others would have done.
I understood that. I wasn't sure if they actually told the parents that the kids broke the tv.

Oh, sorry. Yes, her husband did. She said they didn't offer to pay for it.

alli2672 · November 2013

To anyone who said that they wouldn't watch the kids again...

If the parents offered to run out an replace the TV and were very apologetic and took full responsibility, would you still never watch the kids again, or would knowing that the parents felt/were responsible for the kids, even while under your care, make you feel okay?

jensriot · November 2013

I saw this on Judge Judy once a little boy accidentally threw a wii control at the TV. She didn't make the boys parents pay because he was being babysat. It is like someone at daycare breaking something it is up to the daycare to replace. She did say that she thought the parents SHOULD pay, as in doing the right thing, but legally no they didn't have to. This is my last post I promise haha!

HeeHee I saw that one too.

ASullivan1231 · November 2013

alli2672 said:
To anyone who said that they wouldn't watch the kids again...

If the parents offered to run out an replace the TV and were very apologetic and took full responsibility, would you still never watch the kids again, or would knowing that the parents felt/were responsible for the kids, even while under your care, make you feel okay?

It would totally depend how the parents handled it. Also, if it were my niece or nephew I might baby sit again but it would be at their house. Never again at my house.

I had a crazy wild cousin with ADD and he tore shit apart. His parents were awesome with him but he was still out of control. I love him, but we hated when he came over. It was way better to see him at a nuetral location.

pitterpatter129 · November 2013

alli2672 said:

To anyone who said that they wouldn't watch the kids again...

If the parents offered to run out an replace the TV and were very apologetic and took full responsibility, would you still never watch the kids again, or would knowing that the parents felt/were responsible for the kids, even while under your care, make you feel okay?

Obviously, she has trouble handling the kids. Regardless of the tv payment, she probably shouldn't offer to babysit again. Sounds like it didn't work out well for anyone.

penguingrrl · November 2013

The kids broke it, the parents are ultimately responsible. We would be fucked if my kids broke something of high value since we can't afford luxury items and don't have them ourselves. But we would find a way to replace with the same quality item (exact if possible, closest version if the exact thing isn't available) because someone else shouldn't be out something they worked hard to get because I can't be bothered to discipline my kids. I also wouldn't likely send my kids to someone's house who has expensive things unless I knew I could trust them to behave. Otherwise I would have the sitter come to them (and yes, this has come up and I told the person I didn't trust my kids around their breakables at that point; they were 2 and 4 and the 2 year old was prone to violent tantrums that were unpredictable).

rosesandpetals · November 2013

penguingrrl said:

The kids broke it, the parents are ultimately responsible. We would be fucked if my kids broke something of high value since we can't afford luxury items and don't have them ourselves. But we would find a way to replace with the same quality item (exact if possible, closest version if the exact thing isn't available) because someone else shouldn't be out something they worked hard to get because I can't be bothered to discipline my kids. I also wouldn't likely send my kids to someone's house who has expensive things unless I knew I could trust them to behave. Otherwise I would have the sitter come to them (and yes, this has come up and I told the person I didn't trust my kids around their breakables at that point; they were 2 and 4 and the 2 year old was prone to violent tantrums that were unpredictable).

Even if they're doing you a favor by babysitting? I know she doesn't babysit them as regular childcare, so I assume the parents asked her to watch them while they did something. I know whenever I ask her to watch DD, she always says it's easier for her to watch DD at her house. I don't know if I would be comfortable asking someone to babysit for free and then saying they had to do it at my house. But I do understand what you're saying, I wouldn't want anything to be broken, either.

pastalady · November 2013

Andrewsgal said:

I do get the issue with out of control kids. My best friends boys have thrown the wii controller through 3 different vs, no lie! Her home is full of dents and holes where the boys have thrown each other through. But I would never comment on her parenting or how insane they are lol!
Bullshit! Wii remotes have wrist straps after the first time the Wii would have been our of my house. This is 100% your friends fault for letting it happen more than once!

Oh trust me I agree! She believes in zero discipline. Honestly, that is why the boys are not ever at my house anymore. I just fin excuses. It's hard when you disagree with your friends parenting style. I hate it. But she is my best friend and has other good qualities.

Andrewsgal said:

I do get the issue with out of control kids. My best friends boys have thrown the wii controller through 3 different vs, no lie! Her home is full of dents and holes where the boys have thrown each other through. But I would never comment on her parenting or how insane they are lol!
Bullshit! Wii remotes have wrist straps after the first time the Wii would have been our of my house. This is 100% your friends fault for letting it happen more than once!

pastalady · November 2013

Oh and if DD broke the tv I would offer to pay. No hesitation. In my friends case, no we didn't say anything. The feeling was the 200 bucks for our broken bike wasn't worth disturbing the friendship. But it was the final straw to ever watching her kids again. I think I knew my friend would have just replaced our bike but she would not have disciplined or even mentioned it to the kids so what is the point?

penguingrrl · November 2013

roses&65335678 said:

penguingrrl said:

The kids broke it, the parents are ultimately responsible. We would be fucked if my kids broke something of high value since we can't afford luxury items and don't have them ourselves. But we would find a way to replace with the same quality item (exact if possible, closest version if the exact thing isn't available) because someone else shouldn't be out something they worked hard to get because I can't be bothered to discipline my kids. I also wouldn't likely send my kids to someone's house who has expensive things unless I knew I could trust them to behave. Otherwise I would have the sitter come to them (and yes, this has come up and I told the person I didn't trust my kids around their breakables at that point; they were 2 and 4 and the 2 year old was prone to violent tantrums that were unpredictable).

Even if they're doing you a favor by babysitting? I know she doesn't babysit them as regular childcare, so I assume the parents asked her to watch them while they did something. I know whenever I ask her to watch DD, she always says it's easier for her to watch DD at her house. I don't know if I would be comfortable asking someone to babysit for free and then saying they had to do it at my house. But I do understand what you're saying, I wouldn't want anything to be broken, either.

If I was worried about my kids breaking their stuff yes, I would suggest it's better to have them at their own home and be honest about why. If they break our TV that just means we no longer have a TV, but if it's someone else's I would have to scrap together the money to replace it.

But then most of our sitters prefer to come to our house because they find it easier to care for the kids at home than packing everything up.

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