Gift giving Question

twinkletoes3126 · November 2013

My brother and sister in law are convinced that adults shouldn't buy holiday gifts for each other and that this is how everyone does it. They think we should just buy for the kids in the family and do a secret Santa for the adults. So I am curious, do you buy for the adults in your family?

jodegaard · November 2013

Yes. We give gifts to all of my and DH's siblings, some are adults, some are younger. Eleven total!

I think once the younger ones are older, we'll will switch to Secret Santa. I actually just had this discussion with my sisters last night! One of them wants to do SS this year, but my younger sisters don't know how much money they will have for gifts. We just have to wait for everyone to grow up.

In the meantime, I LOVE shopping for everybody!

CRey13 · November 2013

My ILs do gifts for the kids only and a Secret Santa for the adults. But they have a large family. My side does gifts for everyone because there are only 4 of us.

austenfan919 · November 2013

We get gifts for my sisters, but not for DH's brother and wife. We always see my family for Christmas, but not DH's. And my sister's love language is gifts, so it is important for us to get her something, and we can't leave the other sister out. We decided with DH's brother not to exchange gifts, but to try to do an extra visit with them instead.

In both of my parents' families, they do secret Santa with their siblings and spouses instead of buying for everyone. If we had more siblings to do it with, I think we would do it that way, too.

sdlaura · November 2013

We stopped doing birthday gifts for the adults, but are still doing Christmas gifts. Eventually I would like to phase down to just gifts for kids. All the adults are two-working-parent families, and I'm sure they are all just as busy as we are!

vic8504 · November 2013

This is an ongoing debate every year. We get something small for parents and siblings, but mostly just the kids get presents. We don't buy gifts for any of my aunts and uncles or any of my FIL's siblings. but MIL is a beast that we need to get her brother and wife gifts even though we don't do anyone else. I am trying to get DH to bring up a secret santa idea this thanksgiving. I mean if we just spend $20 on everyone we are up to like $600. I know that isn't a lot but it is..
As families grow I think it is important to just do the kids that way you aren't just exchanging gift cards.

piphigirl · November 2013

DH and I each have one sibling, so we buy both of them gifts. My extended family does no gifts; DH's adult family does a name draw.

ccam · November 2013

We do strictly kids on DH's side. And we pick a name between siblings and significant others on my side and they all buy for DS (only kid so far on my side!). We do a $50 limit.

SJandVA · November 2013

We get our sibling and parents presents. For my extended family I usually do a small family gift of a food product.

abbyful · November 2013

We have a mix.

My family is very small, so we buy for everyone.

DH's family is huge. We buy for his parents. The "kids" ("kids" being DH & me, SIL & BIL, other SIL) draw names for ~$40 gift. Extended family (everyone from babies to adults) draws names for $15 gift exchange.

Rhomonk · November 2013

I would love to move to no gifts for adults, but my sister is a complete brat and feels that gifts need to be given because she likes to "open" gifts. She is in her late 40s. UGH. So, my parents give in, and buys us something because she doesn't want us to feel left out.

fastcarsandfreedom3319 · November 2013

We do immediate family on both sides--siblings and parents. Usually those gifts are "couple" type of gifts like restaurants or something, not something for the individuals. As for the kids, I will be buying for my niece, but I have no idea how to handle all our cousins' kids now that we are back home. Hopefully we can keep things in check because we're trying to buy a new house.

PurrCrasher · November 2013

No way. Between all our of siblings and their spouses we would be buying 16 gifts just for the adults. Once you add in all the kids we really can't afford that and neither can some of our siblings. We get together and spend a lot of quality time together and I guess that is our gift to each other.

PaisleyRuth · November 2013

We do a name drawing thing with DH's family - parents, 2 sisters and BIL. Nothing for the adults on my side of the family usually. Sometimes my sister and I go in on something for dad if we think of something.

shakinros · November 2013

I'd rather not! Right now we do presents for all our parents and all our siblings. Nobody else has kids yet. I hope when they do, we can drop buying for the adults!

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