Ten Things Tuesday!

KH826 · November 2013

Happy Tuesday, Friends!

Tell us any 10 things on your mind today -- anything at all!

StacyLH24 · November 2013

Leaving the house in about an hour to head to Buffalo for surgery. Figured I would get this in before they knock me out!

1. Not too nervous yet, but I'm sure that will kick in soon.

2. I had a dream that it was the morning of the surgery and I started eating. I remembered I wasn't supposed to and then did my best to spit it all out. Anxiety much...?

3. I didn't get as much cleaning done as I wanted to. Right now, I'm not stressing about it. I'm sure it won't matter when I get home either.

4. Our dogs sit on us and with us on the couch. I'm worried about keeping them off of me for the next few days.

5. I hope I can make it until they knock me out before I'm starving. My stomach is already making noises! I think my nervousness will kick in and I will be fine.

6. This surgery has finally motivated me to get all the instructions together for C to pay bills. I handle everything and she wouldn't have any idea when things are due or how to pay them.

7. We rented a few movies on Sunday and have then until Friday. I'm looking forward to relaxing and watching them.

8. We also bought Super Mario Brothers for the Wii. I haven't played that in forever! C loves it so it gives us something to do together while I can't do much. I'm also secretly looking forward to playing by myself when she goes back to work.

9. I managed to get rid of most of my sinus issues with lots of water and tea with lemon. I'm hoping the little bit of a cough and stuffiness I have left won't make them tell me it's a no go for today.

10. I'm hungry....

KH826 · November 2013

1. I am 12 weeks along today! It has felt a bit like an eternity getting to this point. I am hopeful that from here on out I will be a bit less anxious and really start to enjoy this process a bit more.

2. I LOVE my OB! She is just awesome. My wife loves her too. We had a great appointment yesterday. I feel totally comfy with her (which is big for me, b/c it usually takes me more than 2 visits to warm up to a new Dr). I am really happy with our choice!

3. So our next OB appointment is Monday, December 23rd, and our Dr thinks she should hopefully be able to tell us the sex of the baby at that appointment if baby cooperates. We are super excited. My wife and I will be on vacation for the holidays by then, and we made the appointment for early morning. We plan to go into the city early and have a nice breakfast somewhere and then go to our appointment... after that we will swing back home and pick up our things and Reese and then hit the road to drive to my mom's in Boston where we will be spending Christmas. It will be great - I am excited!

4. My brother has been struggling a lot lately. He had been having grand mal seizures that lasted anywhere from 30 mins to 2+ hours every 3-5 days for a while. He would have a big seizure and then his temp would spike and he would have respiratory issues and then he would have maybe 2 or 3 good days in between before he seized again. That was his new norm for a while. For about a week now he has been having these shorter cluster seizures that seem to stop on their own (usually it takes several rounds of heavy duty meds to get him to stop), but he has been having them several times a day every day, and now when he seizes his heartrate goes through the roof (like 130 or 140!) and his oxygen level dips way down (lowest it has gone is in the 40s), which is very dangerous. The Drs don't know what to make of these new seizures and don't know what this means overall. My mother has been very upset, and she said when she saw him on Sunday he was in rough shape. We have been waiting for almost a year now for there to be a major event that could potentially take his life, and it feels like it might be coming closer...

5. I think I have mentioned before that I have had reoccuring dreams for close to a year now where I am visibly pregnant at my brother's funeral. The dreams are just like snap shots, and don't really tell a story. It is strange because I don't often remember my dreams, and I am not one to hold a lot of stock in dreams, but this one feels real.

6. My grandfather passed away last Thursday and the services were yesterday in northern Maine where he lived. I didn't go (see my venting post from last week for more backstory). I have talked to my father 3 times in total in the last 10 days (since he called to say my grandfather was sick), which is more than I have talked to him in almost 2 years. The obituary listed me as a grandaughter, but they used my maiden name... immediately after my name was my cousin's and they not only listed her married name but also included "and her husband..." I didn't expect that they would list my wife, but it did bother me that they didn't even use my current name. I think I would have rathered if they just didn't include me. I sent flowers to the funeral home. I guess that's it.

7. I think I am interested in prenatal yoga, but I am intimidated by the thought. I have never done yoga, and I have decided that I will not be good at it.

8. According to the 10-day forecast it is supposed to snow here the day before Thanksgiving. I realize that could change 25 times between now and then, but I think that might be fun, actually, if it does snow.

9. I am looking forward to our NT scan appointment on Thursday. I am hoping we get a good ultrasound pic out of it. I feel like that is the last real hurdle of the first trimester, and after that we will likely be in "yell it from the rooftops" mode. Or something like that HAHA...

10. We are planning a Facebook announcement for Thanksgiving day, but my wife and I can't seem to decide on how exactly we want to announce. We have a few ideas, but none of them really seem like "us" if that makes sense... we have a little more time to think about it, I suppose.

trisholio · November 2013

StacyLH24 said:

6. This surgery has finally motivated me to get all the instructions together for C to pay bills. I handle everything and she wouldn't have any idea when things are due or how to pay them.

I totally understand! I handle all of our finances. My wife has a general idea about our financial situation, but she sucks at budgeting money. A perfect example is this weekend while I was drugged up we managed to overspend and I wasn't paying attention. It happens, but I do try and get my wife more involved so when I have pregnancy brain or god forbid something worse happen she can pick up where I left off.

trisholio · November 2013

KH826 I am so sorry to hear about your brother :-( I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers

1. I seem to have broken out in hives, I think it is from the pain medication I was taking. I haven't had any since Sunday night, but I still have hives on my stomach. I think I am going to call my Dr to make sure this isn't something to worry about.

2. This week has already been very stressful for many reasons.

3. I got a text yesterday morning from the mom of the little girl I watch telling me she only needed me to watch the girl on day this week. I am really irritated that she thinks she can cancel on me anytime. We have a household budget and I depend on what she pays me each week. This is becoming a common occurrence and I finally told her I wasn't happy about it.

4. I am really ready to get our foster parent license. Once we get that I am going to quit watching the little girl in the evenings. I am tired of dealing with her parents

5. I am thinking of changing my name on here because I have realized that I share alot about my family on here, which I never thought was an issue until I found out Sunday that my sister is pregnant.

6. Yes my single sister that wasn't trying in any way to get pregnant got accidentally knocked up. She is 8 week along and just found out on Thursday. She told my wife and I on Sunday.

7. I am still processing my feelings on this matter. She didn't do it on purpose and I know that. It is just very frustrating and heartbreaking that we have been trying so hard to get pregnant and haven't been able too and it happens to her on accident.

8. On top of that there is a lot of emotions evolved from our childhood. Whether my mom or the rest of the family admits it my sister has always been the favorite. I have always been a second thought and I have wanted to give my mom her first grandchild and feel like I mattered for once. Well that obviously isn't going to happen now :-(

9. I am not looking forward to Thanksgiving at all now. We are going to spend the entire time avoiding the elephant in the room (my sisters pregnancy) because half the family knows and half doesn't. Or someone will spill the beans and we will spend the entire time gushing over her, ugh!

10. I really wish I had the time and money to go away for a few days and have well deserved breakdown.

Sorry to be such a downer, its early and I am still tired which adds to my gloominess. Have a good day everyone

wishiwaspreggo · November 2013

1) I'm in the Midwest so I got to experience that magical freak weather system on Sunday. The alarm went off and we went to the basement. We checked the weather radar and we read the warning. There was a large tornado in a town we visited frequently and it was heading in our direction. I was freaking out. Luckily, the tornado missed our house by several miles but that was still the worst close-call I've had so far. I really hope it never actually happens...

2) C and I had free flights we needed to use so we booked a cruise to the Bahamas! I'm excited I've never been before.

3) I have my next ultrasound on Thursday. Woo! Hopefully they'll give me the green light to do my next IUI!

4) Thanksgiving is coming. I'm supposed to make apple pie. It's funny because I'm in my early 30's yet my family keeps saying patronizing things like "Wow, you do SUCH a GOOD JOB on your desserts!!!!" Yeah, I cook all the time. I should hang my head in humiliation if I couldn't prepare a decent meal and dessert on my own in my 30's. I guess I'll always be 5 in their eyes lol

5) My phone is crapping out on me and I'm upset. I power it on but it won't stay on, and it sometimes works when it's plugged in to a power source... I dropped it and now I'm worried they won't fix it because I broke it

6) My cat's flu is better. She was sick - ironically - because I took her to the vet and she caught a bug. I initially took her in because she had this gross rash on her back but now she's cured! I have to take her in for one more shot tonight. I hope she doesn't contract anything else...

7) I don't really have anything else to say so I'll end it here! Have a wonderful day, everyone!

ETA: Yikes, that's rough, @Trisholio. I'd be really, really upset if one of my brothers accidentally knocked a girl up while I'm trying so hard to get pregnant myself. I don't have any sisters so I guess I don't have to worry about another woman stealing my thunder. And the fact that it's an accident somehow makes it worse. I'm really sorry you have to deal with that

GoaliesWife123 · November 2013

KH826 said:
4. My brother has been struggling a lot lately. He had been having grand mal seizures that lasted anywhere from 30 mins to 2+ hours every 3-5 days for a while. He would have a big seizure and then his temp would spike and he would have respiratory issues and then he would have maybe 2 or 3 good days in between before he seized again. That was his new norm for a while. For about a week now he has been having these shorter cluster seizures that seem to stop on their own (usually it takes several rounds of heavy duty meds to get him to stop), but he has been having them several times a day every day, and now when he seizes his heartrate goes through the roof (like 130 or 140!) and his oxygen level dips way down (lowest it has gone is in the 40s), which is very dangerous. The Drs don't know what to make of these new seizures and don't know what this means overall. My mother has been very upset, and she said when she saw him on Sunday he was in rough shape. We have been waiting for almost a year now for there to be a major event that could potentially take his life, and it feels like it might be coming closer...
5. I think I have mentioned before that I have had reoccuring dreams for close to a year now where I am visibly pregnant at my brother's funeral. The dreams are just like snap shots, and don't really tell a story. It is strange because I don't often remember my dreams, and I am not one to hold a lot of stock in dreams, but this one feels real.
6. My grandfather passed away last Thursday and the services were yesterday in northern Maine where he lived. I didn't go (see my venting post from last week for more backstory). I have talked to my father 3 times in total in the last 10 days (since he called to say my grandfather was sick), which is more than I have talked to him in almost 2 years. The obituary listed me as a grandaughter, but they used my maiden name... immediately after my name was my cousin's and they not only listed her married name but also included "and her husband..." I didn't expect that they would list my wife, but it did bother me that they didn't even use my current name. I think I would have rathered if they just didn't include me. I sent flowers to the funeral home. I guess that's it.

(Sorry for the quote fail) I'm so sorry to hear that your brother is going through this. I am also so sorry that you are having a rough time right now with family. I am sending positive thoughts and prayers your way for you and your brother.

GoaliesWife123 · November 2013

@trisholio you should consider drafting a contract between you and the parents stating that a cancellation needs to be with 48 hours notice. Let me know if you need help with something like that.

Afterlater · November 2013

@stacylh24 good luck today, sending positive vibes your way.

@kh826 I'm sorry things are getting worse with your brother, I can't even imagine that feeling.
I am also scared to try prenatal yoga!! I have no balance and I'm not very flexible! There is a studio here that only does prenatal yoga and classes but it's in a very uppity part of town so I'm sure it's all these tiny women in their expensive lulu lemon outfits that are absolutely stunning and are yogaholics!! I think that's what puts me off most!

@trisholio I would be devestated about the news of your sister. You deserve a weekend getaway with a breakdown.

1. I have been at work for an hour and have not done one thing, procrastination at its finest

2. My hormones are super crazy, I over cooked my bagel this morning..(it was barely even dark) and I was almost in tears

3. My dw will officially be my DW on Friday and I'm so nervous!!!

4. All our family is getting together this weekend and I think she slipped last night cause she mentioned my older brothers name. He lives in Cali and it would mean the world to me if he flew out to surprise me. I maybe a little heartbroken if she just mixed his name up with my younger brothers. The both start with j so it wouldn't be hard.

5. 19weeks tomorrow and I'm not feeling movement yet, excited for the next few weeks when I start feeling that!

6. We have nothing prepared baby wise. I know it's still early but I'm a planner. No names, themes, registries, and I just started researching cloth diaper... Procrastination seems to ruling my life

7. I can not wait to see my nephews this weekend they were so excited when we told them I was having a baby and now that I'm kinda showing it may make a little more sense to them.

8. Nerves are starting to set in with a/a scan. We were told a while back that our donor had an offspring with SLOS we have not done any genetic testing so if I am a carrier we may see some visual characteristics of it on Friday. I'm glad my DW and mom will be there for support!

9. I'm so ready for a 3 day weekend this week and 4 days next weekend. I taken one day off this year for just me everything else has been drs appointments or dmv, nothing fun!!

10. I weighed myself this morning and I'm still up only 4 pounds I'm proud of myself for eating healthier and not giving in to the eating for two... I struggle losing weight and so I know the less I gain the less I will have to lose

GoaliesWife123 · November 2013

Hello friends!

1. The big midwest storm produced some scary wind, but fortunately we had no damage to our house. My poor wife was on duty and was out all day and all night on downed power lines and fires.

2. DW is ready to go off the grid. For real. She was quite proud of me when I told her that as soon as the watches were posted for the weather I packed up all of our backpacking and emergency supplies into the truck. Had something happened to our home, we would have had plenty of food, water, shelter, clothing and all of our emergency cash and paperwork. It felt good to be prepared, despite being over prepared.

3. Due to power outages at the office, my acupuncture appointment was cancelled yesterday. While I was bummed, I'm thankful I had power and was able to get some things done. Looks like I am heading to my appointment now on Thursday after babysitting my nephew.

4. I can't believe our RE appointment is next Monday. I'm just really excited.

5. I have PCOS, but the only symptom I ever had was irregular cycles and excess hair. I seem to be losing more and more hair in the shower and it is starting to worry me a lot. I'm trying to supplement any deficiencies with good, clean food, but I'm still nervous. I have started incorporating organic, grass fed meat into my diet in hopes that it helps. I guess we'll see what the blood work shows next week.

6. I'm an attorney and my sister-in-law just signed a contract to have her roof redone. Before she signed it, I told her I would look it over and make sure everything was good. She didn't accept. She had the roof redone two weeks ago. This weekend we had a big wind storm. Her roof is now destroyed from the wind because the guy didn't do the work correctly. He is going to fix it, but is making her pay (again) for the materials. I wish, so badly, that I could just say "I told you so"...but I won't. I have no sympathy for someone who doesn't take my advice when it comes to a legal matter that I can help with.

7. As far as TTC, my DW told her mother a few weeks ago that we were actively trying. Her mother was less than impressed and actually had the nerve to say that I should not carry. My wife was devastated at this reaction and I believe her mother is now trying to make up for it by telling me she wants to teach me to knit over the winter...too little too late? I don't know.

8. It has been strange not peeing on anything this cycle! I'm currently CD 18 which means that I will O very soon, so usually I'm testing 4 times a day. I am still temping so that I can give the RE a better idea of my cycles, but it is still strange.

9. It is beautiful today. It is sunny, breezy and about 34 degrees, but perfect. I just came in from an hour long power walk around the property. I feel wonderful!

10. That's all for now. Thinking of you all!

trisholio · November 2013

@trisholio you should consider drafting a contract between you and the parents stating that a cancellation needs to be with 48 hours notice. Let me know if you need help with something like that.

We didn't have a contract initially, but I am thinking of printing one up. I text her yesterday and asked to give me 24 hour notice or I would request she would pay me for the day. I understand things come up now and then, but this is a recurring thing. When things start affecting my finances I get a little pissy about it. I was counting on the money I was supposed to make this week to buy Thanksgiving dinner, now the money will have to come from somewhere else, ugh.

KH826 · November 2013

Thanks to everyone who has had kind words for me about my brother. I really appreciate all of your warm thoughts.

I am also so glad to hear that all you mid-westerners (and those with family in the midwest) are safe and sound. Very scary! Hopefully there will not be anymore storms like that for a long time.

@trisholio - I am sorry to hear that you are having to deal with your sisters surprise pregnancy while you are in the midst of TTC. I am sure that must be really difficult, and your feelings are definitely well-deserved. I just hope, for your sake, that when the time comes for your turn your family is JUST as excited for you and your DW as they will be for your sister.

@afterlater - I hear you about the yoga scene... not sure I will fit in well. What you described is my fear about yoga in a nutshell. Maybe I will start by trying to do a prenatal yoga DVD in my own living room first...

@kaysa2 - sure, feel free to PM me after your NT scan on Friday if you would like to chat. I won't have much to offer other than my own personal experience, but I am happy to share that.

doodah1013 · November 2013

@trisholio My Jheart is breaking for you. So many emotions and feelings can be tied to experiences like that, and they seem to come in waves. We often tell ourselves... "This is our journey, and that is theirs..." We find it positive to evaluate the good things that we DO have instead of looking at what other people have that we don't. Obviously, sometimes this works and some times it doesn't..... Some days it's "I can't take one more ultrasound picture in my Facebook newsfeed..." And someday it's "It will happen for us when it's our time and until then we will be happy for other..." I have stopped trying to fight it and instead try to evaluate why I am feeling either way. We are thinking of you!

twobrooklynmoms · November 2013

1- Not sure I can come up with 10 things, but I'm gonna try!

2- DW's cycle has been kind of confusing as I said on the TTC thread. RE said she had a 21mm follicle on Day 10 and was about to ovulate, but its day 16 and our monitor hasn't shown a peak yet and her temp has not spiked. We're starting IUI next month so there's no time to lose!

3- We got a new dog on Sat. She's a 2year old rescue from Alabama. We put our dog down in May and I've been struggling a lot since then, with missing her and not having an animal in the house. It feels so good to have a dog again. I feel totally renewed. My mood is better, I have more energy and just generally feel happier.

4- Found an engorged tick on the above mentioned new dog. Gross and scary. I had my last dog for 15 years and never saw one tick. We can't test for Lyme disease for 6 weeks. Trying not to freak out.

5- I'm really enjoying this fall weather. I've always been a Fall/Spring person

6- Excited for a getaway next week. We've always hosted Thanksgiving but this year we're running away to the Carribean. We found a great package deal at a fancy shmancy hotel far from family and turkey.

7- Feeling guilty about leaving my mom during thanksgiving. She swears she doesn't mind, but she doesn't have any other family nearby and will likely not be doing anything for Thanksgiving if we're not around to host.

8- Def don't feel like doing work right now (obviously).

9- Learned about an awesome new app called Paper Karma where you can take a pic of unwanted junk mail and catalogs and they will unsubscribe you. I'm obsessed and scanning all my mail.

10- Is it time to go home and play with my puppy now?

redrockmama · November 2013

@KH826 and @afterlater don't let the uppity yoga folks scare you away, the benefits of prenatal yoga are so great. I am the least flexible person I know, but I've come to really enjoy yoga. At my workplace we do monthly staff yoga together and it's much more about relaxation and breathing than balance and strength. Look around for a good practice and a good teacher. The folks at the studio I have been to vary sooo very much. I actually need to find myself a class and get started soon. I think I might try the rec center because it would be quite a bit cheaper.

@KH826 so sorry to hear about your brother. Sending hugs your way. I am also having a hard time with the likely loss of my stepmom during this pregnancy.

1. My stepmom has radiation on her spine today and then will likely get discharged to a nursing home to build up her strength.

2. I really hope she gets to meet the baby

3. My sister thinks she might be pregnant, she has a 6 month old and her hubby planned to get a vasectomy until he had a bad accident last week and they had to put it off.

4. I can't decide if I selfishly hope she is pregnant or if I should hope that she isn't because they really financially can't afford another and she is having a lot of health problems right now.

5. My little sis goes back to Seattle tomorrow. I wish she'd consider moving back here.

6. I hope we get some sunny days this weekend. I'd love to go for a bike ride. I can't handle all these gloomy rainy days.

7. I really need to figure out what to do for Thanksgiving...sigh

8. I wish we had enough money to finish our basement right now. I will just have to be patient and wait a couple of years.

9. All I want to do is sleep. I blame it on the gloomy weather and maybe a little bit on the pregnancy.

10. J wants a new job. I hope she either finds one soon or after the baby comes.

mwagner25 · November 2013

I am in a better mood today, so I will join in.

1. Congrats @Kleigh1 for your BFP... I saw it while stalking the TTC thread.

2. I actually slept last night and my wife kept the pups quiet this morning so I slept in as well. I feel like a whole new person today. Sleep is a really good thing for controlling my pregnancy hormones.

3. I have to work an evening shift in the ER tonight 4-midnight so I am relieved that I am feeling better.

4. The best thing about working this pregnant in the ER is giving my patient's a bit of a reality check when them come in. I work in an inner city ER, so I see a lot of non-emergency complaints (back pain for over a year, earaches, ect) during my shifts. Now that I am obviously VERY pregnant, my patient's tend to ask how many months I am. They are shocked when I say nine months, then they ask when I am due, tonight I get to say two days! Then they ask why I am working, and I tell them "babies are expensive." Then I get to ask them.... "So what is your emergency that brought you in to see me tonight." I can't help but be a little pleased when they look sheepish telling me they came in for an STD check. Score 1 for the pregnant lady.

5. Please don't judge for the previous story.... I think it is my way of coping with how hard my job is, especially this pregnant. (I promise I don't give actually sick people a hard time for coming to the ER)

6. We were able to amend our taxes for the past couple of years since we got married and found out we are getting a tax return. Woohoo! Perfect timing with the holidays and maternity leave coming up.

7. I have never once called into my job and am thinking about doing it tomorrow night (my last shift I am scheduled for). I think I deserve a mental health day... they don't need to know if I am actually in early labor or not, right? All though it would be fun to tell my patient's I am due in 8 hours.. heehee, that would really blow some of their minds!

8. I have a doctors appt in the morning tomorrow and am nervous that my cervix will still be posterior and not dilated. All I need is 1 cm to know that by early next week I will have a baby in my arms and OUT of my uterus.

9. I need to go see what we have to eat for lunch....

10. Okay everyone, have a good day.

ball.and.chain · November 2013

1. I had some bright red spotting this morning, freaked out, and had a big ol' ugly cry in the shower. It seemed to be increasing a little, but then it stopped completely while I was on my way to work and hasn't reappeared. Stay away, spots! Stay away.

2. I did call my clinic and they were somewhat reassuring...the fact is that I am in an awkward stage where it is too late for my blood work to reveal much (since your numbers plateau around now) and too early to guarantee a heartbeat on an ultrasound. This could be an isolated incident or not...but all I can do for now is keep an eye on it and let them know if anything changes. They did say they would try to get me in for an ultrasound at the end of the week (it's currently scheduled for next Wednesday) if I wanted.

3. I have had spotting before (though never this red) and I know it can be normal. I hate that with my history, it creates a state of total panic. I'm over the fact that I am not going to enjoy most of my pregnancy, but I do wish I didn't feel like I was on high alert all the time.

4. I am exhausted from being stressed out all morning. I just want to put on pajamas, crawl into bed and sleep until whenever a healthy baby is going to come out of me. Instead I am having a busy day at work, which I guess is good because it is keeping me from thinking about the pregnancy as much.

5. I haven't even talked to my wife about the spotting yet because she had already left for work and is in meetings all day. I don't want to send her a text and freak her out...I'm hoping I can just tell her when I get home, "This happened but everything is OK for now."

6. I have been really good about eating healthy. Then this morning I hate a bag of Cheetos, a fun-size Milk Duds, and an embarassing number of mini Twizzlers. Then I went out and bought a big cheesy eggplant parmesan to replace the grilled chicken salad I brought for lunch. What stress eating?

7. I wanted a cheeseburger from Five Guys. Eggplant parm was a compromise.

8. It seems like a lot of us are having a rough time lately. GROUP HUG!!!

9. Last week was the 10-year anniversary of my mom's death. Needless to say this time of year is hard for me WITHOUT the pregnancy and the loss anniversary approaching.

10. Sometimes I really don't know where I would be without Prozac. Probably in bed.

ATXmommas · November 2013

1. At home to work for the rest of the day (after my TTT). I'm so, so happy that I will not be working after tomorrow. I think I will go into the office in the morning, then take off the afternoon - I'm pretty much done with work and just monitoring emails for any last minute questions that people may have. I feel relieved that I will be able to focus all my energy on creating a peaceful and relaxing environment in preparation for having this baby.

2. @trisholio - I can relate somewhat to what you are experiencing with your sister and I really feel for you. I found out my SIL was pregnant with her fourth about a month after our loss. I knew that they were planning to have a fourth kid. so while it wasn't a surprise it still knocked me on my ass when I found out. It just seemed so unfair - she was able to to get pregnant on the first or second try with all her kids and had never experienced a loss. Not that I wanted her to struggle or experience a loss - I just felt so angry that things were so easy for her while I was experiencing such a horrible loss. I was so broken by it that Z and I didn't travel home for Christmas last year - I just couldn't bear to be around her. It caused some hurt feelings, but I felt - and still do - that I owed it to myself to take care of myself. It was a matter of self-preservation. I didn't feel that it was my responsibility or burden to be the bigger person. Things are all good now, but it took a very emotional conversation for us to both get out our feelings and move on. All that to say, I completely understand how hard it is to be happy for someone else even when rationally you know that they didn't do anything wrong or on purpose to hurt you. I hope that you will be able to navigate these waters in whatever way is best for you.

3. @KH826 & @Afterlater - to address any hesitation about prenatal yoga - I didn't have a yoga practice either when I first started. And, it's impossible not to be good at yoga because it's an individual journey and practice! From my experience (and obviously all yoga centers will be different), my yoga teachers have been gentle, accommodating, and nothing but encouraging! I have also loved being in the energy of a bunch of other pregnant women throughout this pregnancy! We start each yoga practice by sharing how we are feeling physically or emotionally. It's nice to hear what other women are experiencing (kinda like our Monday check-in!) and I have met some really nice women in class. I hope y'all give it a shot!

4. I think Z had a panic attack this morning. When she got out of bed, she said she didn't feel good, but got dressed anyway. I followed her downstairs and she kept saying that she felt hot and nauseous. She laid down on the floor and asked for water and a cold rag. I kept telling her that if she was sick, she needed to call in for work. I guess she started feeling a little better and went to work. She's fine now.

5. Z is really nervous about labor. I think the childbirth classes and speaking with our doula have helped, but I think she is convincing herself of how nervous she is going to be. I have tried to give her prep talks by comparing it to a race. I have told her that she doesn't go into a triathlon telling herself that she can't do it. You go into the race with confidence that you will succeed even when it's tough. As things get closer, i think she is getting more nervous. Another reason that I'm super happy with our decision to hire a doula!

6. Looking forward to the clocking winding down so that I can get out for a walk and cook dinner later.

7. Today is my stepdad's birthday. Guessing little one won't share a birthday with his Granddaddy. The 22nd was my grandmother's birthday - we'll see if he'll share a birthday with her.

My guess is still 12/1 (though i would really like it to be sooner!).

8. Had a quick visit with my older sister on Sunday. She ran the half marathon in San Antonio this past Sunday and stopped in Austin on her way back to Dallas. She is super cute with the baby. She likes to rub my tummy and talk to him. It makes me happy because I know it's bittersweet for her. She's almost two years older than me, and she is single with no kids. She really wants to get married and have a family. It was really hard for her to see her little sister get married and pregnant before her. It's the flip side of the coin (see my #2). But, she is so happy for us and I appreciate her so much.

9. Going to go take a selfie pic of my belly. My mom is asking for another pic. She's cute.

10. Wishing positive thoughts to all who need them.

ATXmommas · November 2013

Ah, @ball.and.chain - soooo sorry you are experiencing this scare. Crossing my fingers that you get that early U/S to ease your mind just a bit. Hugs to you.

KH826 · November 2013

@ball.and.chain - I yelled outloud at my computer when I read your #1. I am so sorry you are dealing with this stress and worry. Here's hoping that the spotting stays far away for the rest of your pregnancy, and that you can get an early scan that will give you some reassurance. You are such a strong person. You so deserve a smooth sailing pregnancy. I hope you can have that from here on out.

mwagner25 · November 2013

@ball.and.chain, I am refusing to believe that this spotting is anything other than your placenta developing nice and deep into your highly vascular uterus. It is just getting all settled in for the long haul! Thinking about ya!

Jazibel · November 2013

1. I just now felt the baby kicking around for the first time. Very strong definitive movements. So cool!!! Awww love it!!
2. Sitting at the airport in San Salvador waiting for my plane which boards in 3 hours. I've been here for a while already. Luckily no one has kicked me out of the wifi restaurant even though my drink is empty and plate long gone.
3. I ran my butt off this morning, cleaning, packing, loading the van, taking pics for our website-to-be.
4. Fours hours of sleep last night is not enough
5. Maybe baby likes Horchata - I know I do :-)
6. I miss K and EV so much. Can't wait to be home.
7. I want everyone on here to get pregnant this or next month. If I couldn't wish it for myself - maybe I can for others.
8. It's freezing in here and my clothes are damp from being in the tropics
9. Almost $300 to bring all this luggage and carseat onto the plane, and still a fraction of the price for air shipment. Sigh
10. My goal when I get home is going to be making money, saving money and cutting expenses.

Jazibel · November 2013

@KH826 - I'm sorry to hear your brother is struggling, the dream you shared seems really profound.

@trisholio - you definitely deserve a weekend away. I would have very mixed feelings too. I hope that you are able to take the space you need for yourself, and that it's your turn soon to share the same happy news with your family and friends.

@ball.and.chain - I take your spotting very personally - "stay away spotting" if only to set your mind at ease for the next eight months. I had spotting too, with this pregnancy, bright red, brown, pink. My friends as well until 7-8 weeks, so I know it can be common and even an indicator of healthy placenta development. But really its soooo nerve wracking. I hope today proves to have lots of good distractions in it. Wishing you all the best.

lamaitresse · November 2013

Sounds like things have been a little up and down for us all this past week or so... I'm partly blaming the full moon.

I'm sending lots of positive vibes out for the whole group that this week is better!

1. I'm starting piano lessons on Thursday. I just picked up the workbooks from my teacher this evening so I can have a look through them before my first lesson. Not sure that will actually benefit me... but I am excited nonetheless.

2. My sister had a telephone interview this afternoon and now has an in-person interview on Thursday, at the Staples Print n Copy Centre near my house. PLEASE send positive vibes that she gets AND DOESN'T QUIT this job. She has worked in copy centres in the past, and enjoyed it, so at least there's that in her favour... Ugh. The Staples is also directly across the street from the main hospital in town, so hopefully seeing it every day will remind her to JUST GET HER NURSING LICENSE ALREADY.

3. I got to do the absolute most beautiful thing yesterday. My friends and I were called in to this lady's house because she has been haunted by a spirit since she bought the place a few months ago. She (the spirit) had lost her baby and was so overcome with grief that she didn't cross over after she died. We reunited her with the baby and helped her cross over. It was so beautiful. And the homeowner finally has some peace.

4. I have to fire one of my virtual assistance clients.

She's nearly three months behind in her payments. Sorry, but I gots bills ta pay, too.

5. Still don't have a helmet or lock for my new bike. Hopefully I'll be able to get them this week... I really want to start riding again!

6. Someone else mentioned above about getting a move on over sending their Elfster gift... I think I will have to do that pretty quick, too. Can't believe how busy things are getting!

7. Speaking of busy. I had so much work to do today that I honestly did not change out of my pyjamas until I had to leave the house at 5:00. Working from home is dangerous! I think I'll have to institute a policy about not starting work until I've at least gotten dressed LOL

8. Smurf and I have a romantic weekend planned.

Saturday we are checking into a boutique hotel & spa and having dinner there. I'm getting my make up and nails done and finding some fun undies to wear. We're also going to take one of the bottles of champagne that never got opened at our engagement party last year. I'm so excited!

9. My company facebook page just hit 100 likes so I'm having a giveaway for one hour of free virtual assistance services... if you think that is something you could use, let me know and I will share the link with you.

10. Here's a PIP - of my mother-in-law holding her first great-grandchild. I couldn't wait for Thursday LOL

2MamazInSeattle · November 2013

Whoa. That was quite a read catching up on everyone! I want to shout out to so many of you...

@KH826 - I am going to send you a PM re: the yoga; however, I think @AXTMommas nailed it - it's a practice and a journey. I taught yoga for years and trust me, no one is judging you in class, it's all about your own practice and your own time! And I assure you the teachers are on your side. I wanted nothing more than for my students to simply leave feeling better when they arrived, period. Also - lots of thinking of you with your brother, I can't imagine how hard that is.

@ball.and.chain - Spotting be damned!! I don't know why, but while this isn't easy for most of us, some of us really seem to have to jump through more hoops than others and I put you in that camp. I'm here for you lady, no effing fair though! Stop spotting stop.

@stacyLH24, hope it all went well and you are hopped up on drugs and feeling no pain

1. I have been working a crap ton lately, and it's been a nice distraction. I almost forget I'm doing a cycle if not for my calendar appointments and alarm on my phone. Not that I don't want this time to work, but I'm exhausted from obsessing and am glad not to be this time.

2. J has a new attitude on this try. It goes something like this "If you don't want to be our baby, then don't be our baby." I believe she may have also invoked some swear words at it. Ouch, but I think her point is, the right kid will be ours. Or, maybe she's just coping - or trying not to put pressure on this try.

3. I have to go to NYC for work Monday and Tuesday, so I'm leaving early on Saturday and kicking it with friends Saturday night and shopping on Sunday! I'm kinda excited, though we were just there in Oct., J isn't a shopper. I am. She's working all weekend so didn't mind me going a day early.

4. Then I have to go to Kansas City the Monday after Thanksgiving. I get back the day before my transfer. This reminds me a lot of last year when I was on a work trip arriving home just a few days before transfer. Maybe this one will work too. But stick around to the end.

5. Speaking of working a lot lately, we track our hours for our jobs and my boss had me review the team's hours so far this year. 11 of us should get the rest of the year off (no joke) based on the calendar, we have put in an extra 240 hours each since July - and yes, of course I was one of them

I'm all Lisa Simpson - Grade me! Grade me!

6. I have no idea when I will put up our Christmas tree.

7. I already have a bunch of wrapped Christmas presents in front of our fireplace. Seriously. I do.

8. It's been rainy and very Seattle outside lately. Not complaining just observing.

9. I've been cooking at home tons but am excited to meet J and her gym bff for Mexican tonight!

10. I love Sunday night TV, though it takes me until Tuesday to get through all of it!

shelly2314 · November 2013

TTT

1. we are currently watching a marathon of American Horror Story...Coven. I resisted the previous two seasons but this one is pretty interesting.

2. AUGH...I hate you TWW

3. While the stress and anxiety doesn't seem to want to go away, I can truly say that I love my life, my wife, my furbabies, my family, my friends, my job, and the list goes on and on. Hopefully it is in our life plan to become parents but if not then I know we are still going to live incredible lives.

4. I am in need of a new great author. I have read everything by Jodi Picoult and really am interested in new things. Not non-fiction though

5. I love Little Debbie Snack Christmas Tree snack cakes...like LOVE THEM!

6. we are going to change the boy's name we decided on. We weren't really thinking of how common it was. but have decided on a girl's name. I really want this to be true!

7. work is really moving along. Cannot wait for the Thanksgiving break

8. Our kitten, Jax, is the most adorable loving little guy. He lays on my chest and purrs then naps with us.

9. I really don't have much else to say

10. going to cuddle on the couch with the wife

ball.and.chain · November 2013

@ATXMommas, @KH826, @herbabymama, @Jazibel, @mwagner25, @2MamazinSeattle -- Thanks for the support and encouragement. I am really very, very tired of being scared, and I am trying very hard not to be, and sometimes, occasionally succeeding. I appreciate the good stories about spotting and healthy pregnancies. Things look OK right now, though I am up with a nasty case of heartburn from the buffalo chicken nachos my wife and I stress-ate for dinner. Think I'll go back to normal food tomorrow.

And I am strongly considering moving my ultrasound up to Thursday or Friday, just to know.

StacyLH24 · November 2013

@ball.and.chain - My heart did a little flip flop when I read your post. I have been thinking of you ever since...other than when I'm knocked out from the pain meds

. Please know my thoughts are with you. It is so very unfair that you are going through this. I hope that it is just as the others have said...things are settling in for the long run. You have been through so much. A friend of mine was pregnant with her son about 4 years ago and had some bright red spotting further along in her pregnancy. It was brief and never happened again. She went on to deliver a very healthy, full term, baby. If the ultrasound can offer you piece of mind, I say move it up. That means less days of having to stress over what might or might not be happening.

StacyLH24 · November 2013

@ball.and.chain - My heart did a little flip flop when I read your post. I have been thinking of you ever since...other than when I'm knocked out from the pain meds

. Please know my thoughts are with you. It is so very unfair that you are going through this. I hope that it is just as the others have said...things are settling in for the long run. You have been through so much. A friend of mine was pregnant with her son about 4 years ago and had some bright red spotting further along in her pregnancy. It was brief and never happened again. She went on to deliver a very healthy, full term, baby. If the ultrasound can offer you piece of mind, I say move it up. That means less days of having to stress over what might or might not be happening.

StacyLH24 · November 2013

Sorry, didn't mean to post that twice.

StacyLH24 · November 2013

@KH826 - I'm sorry things are so difficult with your brother right now. I hope he is able to get some rest soon and that the seizures stop.

ball.and.chain · November 2013

kaysa2 said:
2. I really, really hate being pregnant. I'm sure I'll love the kid, and I know it's not the thing people want to hear, especially when so many people try so hard to get pregnant. But since implantation my life has been a living nightmare.

@kaysa2, I have gone back and forth about whether to respond to this, because I am sure you didn't mean anything by it. I also know I am particularly sensitive right now, what with the spotting scare and all. However, I am guessing that I am not the only person who reacted this way to this comment.

I can absolutely appreciate that pregnancy can be both physically and emotionally unpleasant for a lot of people, worse for some than others. I know you've struggled with bad nausea and other issues. I have had only minimal morning sickness in my pregnancies -- either because I'm just one of those people, or because the pregnancies haven't been viable, I don't really know -- so I can't claim direct experience with it. And I'm certainly not one of those "I can't wait to be pregnant" people -- I want to be pregnant because I want a baby, but I don't anticipate enjoying the experience all that much. Also, I want to say that those who are experiencing pregnancy's various aches, pains, discomforts, and emotions have every right to complain about it here and shouldn't feel self-conscious or guilty doing so.

However, as someone who has had two losses in a year and is concerned about having a third, who has been trying to conceive through 2.5 years, 9 IUIs, IVF and 2 FETs, who has felt the impact of these struggles on my marriage, my mental health, my bank account, and my personal and professional life, and who lives in terror that this pattern will continue -- it rubs me the wrong way to see anyone who is lucky enough to be pregnant characterize it as "a living nightmare." I am not the only one here who has experienced trouble, infertility or loss.

No matter how bad your pregnancy has been, there are women on this board who would give anything to be in your shoes. That doesn't mean you shouldn't complain about it, but think about what a "living nightmare" is for a woman who has seen her baby show up on an ultrasound without a heartbeat.

YBnormal85 · November 2013

Sorry I'm a day late..but here goes!

1. I have been loving feeling my little passenger squirm around in my womb lately. DW and I went to a christmas show at a theater the other day and as soon as the music started the baby started to move. I look forward to the day DW can feel baby by touching my belly

2. I spent a good portion of yesterday organizing all of our books and DW helped me put them all on our new shleves. I absolutely love how the study looks now, but I think we are in the market for a comfy chair bc my wife is afraid to sit on the "bowl chair" after she flipped it over last year lol

3. I have been trying to kick this head ache/ neck ache I have.I thought maybe it would go away with sleep last night, but no such luck.

4. I am taking my mom to see the Von Trapp children perform tomorrow night. They are the great grandchildren from the Sound of Music Von Trapp family...I can't wait.

5. I have been happy with my families acceptance and excitement over our pregnancy. They haven't been very supportive of DW and I in the past, and refused to come to our wedding last year( except my father, he did come) so this support has been great. I think the turning point was my miscarriage in May...my mom came and stayed w me when DW had to go back to work and since then she has been really supportive of our baby making journey.

6. DWs uncle is quite sick with cancer...we dont know how much longer he has. She is taking him to see a specialist in Philly tomorrow bc her aunt doesnt drive, she will be staying at their house tonight and I know this will take a huge emotional toll on her :-/

7. I have been surprised I haven't gained any weight with this pregnancy yet. I started at my highest ever weight..not something I'm happy about but just what kind of happened. I had gained weight w the last pregnancy and then after the loss i went though a bit of time where I didn't care about anything let alone trying to loose the weight.

8. I forgot how tricky it was to come up with ten somewhat interesting items to talk about .

9. I mailed out my elfsters gift and can't wait until they receive it!!

10. I am hoping to get a nap in today because lord knows I don't sleep well these days, and it'll be even worse with my better half being gone for the night.

firstcomeslove2013 · November 2013

I think the point that B&C is trying to make is that many of us are really struggling and have been working and striving to make a baby. While your difficulties in pregnancy may be difficult and should not be discounted, this may not be the audience to be discussing terminating your unborn child. Your feelings are valid but very sharp and jagged for those of us who are struggling so much.

There may be certain boards on the bump where raw topics such as a distaste for being pregnant may be welcomed but this board is full of women who want nothing more than to be pregnant. To feel sick, to feel their baby kick, to know they can actually conceive a child.

Please be careful with your words as I can only speak for myself but your comments did hurt me. My partner and I have been through 8 failed IUIs and we stuggle just to keep it together. I am sorry you aren't doing well in your pregnancy and I hope you can find an outlet to discuss your feelings.

doodah1013 · November 2013

@kaysa I would, and neither would anyone else, EVER want to belittle what you are going through. It sounds like you are battling with some serious physical symptoms that some people never even come close to. For that, I am truly sorry, and wish for your symptoms to subside as soon as possible and give you some PEACE...

however...

As someone who is rounding the year mark on TTC, with no end in site, who is looking into going wildly into debt to make growing our family a reality, I want to reiterate to you what @ball.and.chain said. While you may feel like this is a nightmare, and that there are days you would rather not be pregnant, this is a very inflammatory thing to say who a group of people who are feeling the reminders of loss, and the never-ending process of TTC. It may be your truth, but it is insensitive to those of us who would give our little fingers to trade places with you. Just my two sense.

So yes... I agree... you need to find people to talk to about this... You are owed that, and deserve that. But I just don't believe this is the proper forum to do that. Should you continue to make statements on this board of this nature, that is your choice, but you need to know it is going to make people upset, hurt and at times angry.

trisholio · November 2013

This board is made up of mostly women and let's be honest most of the time you get a bunch of women together and they tend to be catty. One of the best things about this board is that this group is so amazing and supportive of one another. We RARELY have drama, arguments or are petty. I truly love this about this board. With that being said, I see all sides of the situation with @ballkaysa2 firstcomeslove2013 doodah1013 both made good points too and did a great job of explaining additional views. But I am going to throw my two cents in here. I don't think this is something we are going to agree on. I think we should just agree to disagree. Everyone has their own journey and deals with things in their own way. Suffering physical and emotional pain is relative to each person and their experiences. I am glad that we have a forum on here and I believe is a safe place to voice our concerns, opinions and fears. Hugs to everyone and all of their difficult experiences. I am amazed by many of you and your knowledge, experiences and outlook on life. Thank you for being role models and friends.

doodah1013 · November 2013

@trisholio Bonus points or you for remembering to mention that not everyone on the board is a lady! You rock my socks!

firstcomeslove2013 · November 2013

I don't want anyone to feel isolated. I am sorry if my comments upset you. I only wished to express that my feelings were hurt in this sensitive time.

mwagner25 · November 2013

@kaysa2, Normally I wouldn't be so blunt but these ladies have been EXTREMELY nice to you in regards to your remarks on this thread. If you said these things on almost any other forum on this site, you would truly get some unkind words and opinions. You are entitled to say whatever the hell you please..... but if you want empathy, post these things on the pregnancy check in where pregnant ladies can empathize with you. And provide facts not inflammatory language or remarks.

I am sorry that you have Hyperemesis and yes the first trimester can be miserable. But talking about terminating a pregnancy or living in a nightmare is a very extreme use of language and an opinion that is not popular with a lot of people. The ladies were just trying to offer you some perspective. It is easy to feel isolated if you convince yourself that your pregnancy is the hardest or that no one understands what you are going through. But honestly, I admit several women everyday that I work with Hyperemesis and other pregnancy related complaints. It is difficult but it will come to an end and not something that is a "severe pregnancy problem." There are plenty of pregnancy complications that result in true harm or death to mother and baby. Having to deliver an unviable baby at work or tell a mother that her baby has a life threatening condition is much more traumatic IMHO than having a mother who needs to be admitted to the hospital for IV fluids for a few days. Your symptoms will get better, hopefully in the second trimester, if not, they will when you deliver your baby. You are bound to develop new pregnancy symptoms (or complications whatever you want to call them) as you continue through this journey. But plenty of people have truly life threatening complications.

I get that this may hurt your feelings for me to say all of this but I personally think you should look at the bigger picture and get some real perspective on your situation. You are pregnant with a healthy baby and will experience the joys of becoming a mother (if you continue to carry your pregnancy to term). You are sacrificing already for your child. Other women would trade places with you in a heartbeat. Which is all that everyone was saying.

ball.and.chain · November 2013

I agree with the wise @trisholio -- everyone's experience is relative and personal and agreement is probably not going to happen here. I have never experienced, and will luckily probably never experience, the level of sickness that @kaysa2 has experienced in her pregnancy. She has not experienced infertility or pregnancy loss and if she is lucky, never will. She has always been very honest about her feelings and experiences on this board, and whether or not I would choose different words to describe them based on MY experience, she very deliberately chose the words that were truest to her own experience, and I respect that. We do not need to agree; she knows how I feel and I know how she feels. That's enough for me.

GoaliesWife123 · November 2013

I'm with @MWagner on this. We are a very, very kind board and I can't imagine the replies you would be receiving if you posted that statement on any other "trying" board. You might want to discuss this with the first tri board, where many people will probably empathize with you. Best of luck to you.

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