A note for the PGALs

SherylA80 · November 2013

I know how all of you are feeling. I'm a PGAL too. But I just wanted to say to relax everything will be okay. Just keep love in your hearts, and know that this message is to give you love and support.

Your minds are all over the place, every time your going to the bathroom you check, your mind freaks out when you cramp, you are nervous all the time and wont rest until you hear good news from the Dr.

I just want you to know that you as a woman are strong and beautiful person, This is why us women carry children, because we are strong and regardless if you believe or not, God doesn't give you any challenges you can not handle.

Keep your thoughts on the things that make you smile. Spend time doing things you love, keep your mind busy, read a great book and pamper your self a little more. Get a hair cut or buy that new lipstick that you've been wanting. Do everything you can to feel confident in your self and do things that make you happy. My point is. Keep a positive mind always. This will help keep the stress away and you will have more chances of having the baby stick.

Now to get serious. What if it doesn't work out and you loose the pregnancy. I know its hard; its sad, it makes me want to cry thinking of that. But like I said before He will not give you any challenges that you cant handle. Your pregnancy will happen when its meant to happen. It could be your time right now.

Just remember its okay It will be fine. Try not to worry so much and enjoy things around you that make you happy.

I just wanted to share my heart because I read so many PGAL posts and I just felt I needed to send some positive energy.

Just know that you are loved, We will get through this and always think positive thoughts. The bay will thank you for it later.

Be well ladies

SherylA80 · November 2013

was this a good idea or should I have just kept this to my self?

splaster79 · November 2013

Thank you for putting that out here.

Hollyhelton · November 2013

Thank u so much for sharing its beautiful:)

Phoetas · November 2013

I really appreciated this. It's hard to remind myself that what will be will be, and I might as well enjoy my pregnancy as long as it lasts AND enjoy my life rather than worry, worry, worry.

SherylA80 · November 2013

I think a part of me wrote this because Id like to reach out and understand each situation a little more. I couldnt ever imagine having to take pills and going through all that you go through. I'm truly sorry for your struggles .

( and Bpaws).

A part of the reason I wrote this was to reach out to everyone so we may all have a little hope but also be there for each other and maybe through understanding each persons individual experiences we can connect in a way to help each other out.

toomanycats1 · November 2013

SherylA80 said:

I think a part of me wrote this because Id like to reach out and understand each situation a little more. I couldnt ever imagine having to take pills and going through all that you go through. I'm truly sorry for your struggles .
( and Bpaws).
A part of the reason I wrote this was to reach out to everyone so we may all have a little hope but also be there for each other and maybe through understanding each persons individual experiences we can connect in a way to help each other out.

And this is exactly why I found your post to be really condescending. I know it came from a good place, and you were trying to be supportive and helpful, but you really can't know how we the repeat PGALers are feeling. To tell us to "relax everything will be ok" is a little ignorant, because for many of us this is just not the case. I was completely relaxed with my last 2 pregnancies, and that got me nowhere.

This pregnancy might not be going well either, and if it fails to progress, it won't be because I wasn't positive enough. Before losses, I was an incredibly positive and optimistic person, but with PGAL I just can't be. I've been here before, life has to go on if I suffer another loss, and I just won't let myself be blindsided by it again.

It's ok for you to feel the way you do, but please don't tell the rest of us how we should be feeling, and please don't bring God into it.

SherylA80 · November 2013

Im NOT ignorant! and this was not condescending in any way! You have me all wrong. And personally I feel your attacks are just rude. I was simply trying to give someone out there a little hope and a little piece of mind. You are the only one who actually feels this way.

I was genuine and true in my feelings. And was in no way telling anyone how to feel but simply tried to lift some spirits of the people who wanted it.

And for your information and Im going to be honest with you and not to disrespect anyone but i'm Not bringing God into this Im not religious but I'm a spiritual being with empathy.

If your having personal experiences then, I'm sorry. But dont ruin this for the people who appropriates this and for the people it actually did help.

Perhaps next time read it and if it doesnt regard you then simply move on!

Good Luck I truthfully hope you have a healthy beautiful pregnancy and thats all.

toomanycats1 · November 2013

BPaws said:

I do not, absolutely do not think that what @HelloSweetie1 was calling you ignorant. The notion that relaxing and everything will be ok is ignorant. It is not an attack on you. It is not offensive. Just relax is one of my least favourite sayings, no relaxing in the world can change the outcome of my blood draw tomorrow. I promise, she is not the only one who felt the same response, but perhaps the only one who worded it in a way that offended you. I hope this didn't offend you, that's not my intention at all.

Of this I was pretty certain. OP, you're lucky this board has a very mild tone, because on other boards you would have been flamed for your "advice".

FWIW, I did not call you ignorant. I even mentioned I think you meant well. The thing is though, you were offering up some unsolicited advice about something you can't really relate to at this point.

And you did bring God into it. That's fine if you believe that God won't give people more than they can handle, but some of us have been handed a lot in the last few years, and that doesn't feel very comforting.. more scary.

AmericanInOz · November 2013

I understand what you said is coming from a place of wanting to help and be supportive

but, to even read 'what if you lose this one' made me want to cry

I really don't need to hear that

So thank you for your positive words, but nothing makes it easier, I can't relax, and until I hear that hb I am going to worry every second of the day. Of course I'm a rational person and know I should just relax and be positive, but I tell ya it's nearly impossible. I think talk of PGAL should be kept to the PGAL post, becaus it's a VERY VERY sensitive topic........

SuperKim13 · November 2013

While I am sure that you didn't mean to come off as condescending, you certainly did. I'm sorry, but a new shade of lipstick and a haircut is not going to keep the stress away. WTF?

HelloSweetie is NOT the only one offended by your post.

And to say that God will choose when it's the right time for me to have a baby is very very hurtful. I AM Christian, I believe in God and my faith in Him has helped me through my grief, but in no way do I accept that my pregnancy, loss, and the months spent trying again were a challenge that He gave me.

I'm sure you meant well in posting this, but it was kind of insensitive. We don't need a pat on the head and an "it's OK" because we are PgAL.

SuperKim13 · November 2013

@AmericaninOz (((HUGS))) That one stung me, too.

AmericanInOz · November 2013

@SuperKim13 ((HUGS)) to you too - let's hope that's not the case **Trying to Stay Positive **

I like the PGAL check-in post because we can vent about how WE are feeling, but yes I don't need someone to tell me how to keep my mind off of it by doing things I love - life goes on, even when you're PGAL, but that doens't mean I'm not stresed

SuperKim13 · November 2013

AmericanInOz said:

@SuperKim13 ((HUGS)) to you too - let's hope that's not the case **Trying to Stay Positive **

I like the PGAL check-in post because we can vent about how WE are feeling, but yes I don't need someone to tell me how to keep my mind off of it by doing things I love - life goes on, even when you're PGAL, but that doens't mean I'm not stresed

Well said!

Babybambi · November 2013

Poor Sheryl. You guys are all huge bitches right now!!!

AmericanInOz · November 2013

seriously? seriously? wow - I didn't say anything mean to her - but she did offend a lot of people

it's hurful what she said

SherylA80 · November 2013

I know that feeling. I'm waiting for a heart beat too.

As realistic and My comment was it hard to think that could happen especially when you want something sooooo much.

SherylA80 · November 2013

I only meant to find things that will help you feel better and exude in confidence and to pamper your self so the worry would just go a way for a little while so id a new shade of lip stick and a new haircut isnt your thing i was just suggesting something that could. I WAS NEVER TRYING TO BE INSENSITIVE

SherylA80 · November 2013

I didnt tell you how to handle your own emotions and thoughts. If the kind words i said were insensitive to you sorry you took it that way.

mlebates · November 2013

I also know what you said came from a good place in your heart. But I couldn't get through the first paragraph without instantly getting more and more upset. I have had 4 losses BACK TO BACK this year alone. So to tell me to relax is IMHO rude. Also, know your audience. A lot of people get offended when you bring God into these situations. My opinion on the subject of bringing God into it is; I don't need a reason to blame God for my situation. I would rather utilize him and his spirit to uplift me. But here's the other side of that token... Not everyone has a belief in God.

I hope this isn't offensive, as I truly don't mean it to be. I recognize you tried to help uplift us PGAL'ers, but maybe a lot of us (especially those of us with more than 1 loss, and even those with only 1 loss) are walking on too many pins and needles, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I agree with the PP that mentioned she would rather prepare herself emotionally for the worst, because emotionally... It's just easier (for me anyway) that way.

SherylA80 · November 2013

:-@ I CAME HERE TO BE SUPPORTIVE!!! NOT CONDENSING AND ALSO I COME HERE IN HOPES OF HAVING SUPPORT!!!

THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO UNDERSTAND MY MOTIVES, AND FOR THOSE WHO WERE OFFENDED BY THEM I'M SORRY BUT MAYBE YOU ALL ARE OVER REACTING JUST A LITTLE BIT ABOUT WHAT I WROTE...

SO HOWS THAT FOR BEING CONDESCENDING?.HOWS THAT FOR IGNORANCE!! WHATEVER

YOU KNOW WHAT??? SCREW THIS COMMUNITY BOARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'LL GO SOMEPLACE ELSE WITH PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY APPROPRIATE A KIND WORD AND DOESNT TAKE EVERYTHING SO SERIOUSLY!!!

i MAY NOT TAKE PILLS TO GET PREGNANT BUT I HURT FROM A LOSS TOO I HAD HOPED WE COULD AT LEAST CONNECT ON THAT SCALE

WHATEVER i'M DONE

AmericanInOz · November 2013

I don't think I'm overreacting to your post at all

but I do think you need to remember your audience - like a pp said - and there's a big range of people here who all will deal with PGAL differently and let's not forget, are all hormonal

I hope you don't leave over this, and instead just remember that you have to be sensitive when you post about PGAL, which I'm sad applies you as well. Talking about possible loss to people PGAL is just an ouch - a big one, even though the rest of your post was trying to be supportive.

Anyhow, I'm moving on

SherylA80 · November 2013

No your right no one attacked me they just called me condescending and ignorance thats not an attack at all.

Its one thing to say "hey i disagree with you" and another to say "you're condescending and ignorant for ever saying these words, and how do you know how I feel if you dont take any pills, or your being insensitive" Now do you see why i feel unwelcome.......?????

I just wont say anything again. Because clearly it was a mistake.

[Deleted User] · November 2013

SuperKim13 · November 2013

TheAnne said:

SherylA80 said:

No your right no one attacked me they just called me condescending and ignorance thats not an attack at all.

Its one thing to say "hey i disagree with you" and another to say "you're condescending and ignorant for ever saying these words, and how do you know how I feel if you dont take any pills, or your being insensitive" Now do you see why i feel unwelcome.......?????

I just wont say anything again. Because clearly it was a mistake.

You should try to calm down and maybe go buy something to make yourself feel better. I'm sorry you're taking everything so poorly.

SWIDT?

mlebates · November 2013

@anotherdreamer
YES!!! Exactly everything you said. Thank you!

SherylA80 · November 2013

Ya I'm back but besides this post I've decided not to post much but I am appreciative of reading the information that could help with my pregnancy.

I've decided to leave my good words to the people who appreciate them...My family!!!and leave this board for strictly about pregnancy.

Good Luck ladies.

tealowl · November 2013

SherylA80 said:

Ya I'm back but besides this post I've decided not to post much but I am appreciative of reading the information that could help with my pregnancy.
I've decided to leave my good words to the people who appreciate them...My family!!!and leave this board for strictly about pregnancy.

Good Luck ladies.

In that case, could you leave us some exclamation points and questions marks? I think you must have used all of them up on Page 1.

tealowl · November 2013

jessa8907 said:

tealowl said:

SherylA80 said:

Ya I'm back but besides this post I've decided not to post much but I am appreciative of reading the information that could help with my pregnancy.
I've decided to leave my good words to the people who appreciate them...My family!!!and leave this board for strictly about pregnancy.

Good Luck ladies.

In that case, could you leave us some exclamation points and questions marks? I think you must have used all of them up on Page 1.
Why the hell was this flagged? Sheryl, you need to take a deep breath and a step back. I think you need to reread what you originally wrote and see it from some of these other ladies' perspectives.

Yes, your intentions may have been good. But no matter what your intentions, you were hurtful. The best way to move on is to sincerely apologize and show some empathy to the people you hurt.

If you can't do that then maybe you really should leave. If you cannot be supportive of those people you unintentionally hurt then why in the world do you expect anyone to be supportive of you?

Flagging comments that aren't a violation of the TOS can get YOU banned. I would unflag my comment, for realz.

It's not abusive to ask for some exclamation points. Jeez.

SherylA80 · November 2013

Yes, your intentions may have been good. But no matter what your intentions, you were hurtful. The best way to move on is to sincerely apologize and show some empathy to the people you hurt.

Good grief!!! All I have been doing since this happened was apologize and show empathy. Read back to yesterday... I apologized. I tried to explain that my actions were not to hurt anyone. And I wasn't going to post anything again after the post I wrote. Good good grief I have tried to move past this but with the responses after my resent post ... (Ya I'm back but besides this post I've decided not to post much but I am appreciative of reading the information that could help with my pregnancy.

I've decided to leave my good words to the people who appreciate them...My family!!!and leave this board for strictly about pregnancy.

Good Luck ladies.

I feel I need to say That I have moved on from this. I apologized yesterday. And I didn't flag this on purpose. I must have hit it it scrolling back to the top on my page.

Seriously people did you get your jollys out of all this.?

Go find something better to do.

SherylA80 · November 2013

I didnt mean to flag this post.

I "loved" it to take your flag away but I really dont because I am done with this....

SherylA80 · November 2013

In the future if something like this happens again when all I was trying to do was be helpful, and try to make someone feel better, and give a good word, and I get the sort of comments I have received even after I apologized, i will flag

If your read the flagging rules it says

Harassment- If you feel a user is harassing a member to an extreme level.

I was harassed and ridiculed and people were rude. and next time I feel like someone is doing this with a post I posted i will flag.....

Now I've apologized numerous times. So Sorry if it didnt help you but I hoped it helped someone who understood my actions.

SherylA80 · November 2013

If my "sorry you're offended" wasnt to your standards of an apology, then oh well.

Big+Lil · November 2013

I must've missed this extreme level of harassment. Disagreement and harassment are not the same.

Unknown · November 2013

This content has been removed.

mlebates · November 2013

Die thread... DIE!!!

tealowl · November 2013

SherylA80 said:
I didnt mean to flag this post.
I "loved" it to take your flag away but I really dont because I am done with this....

THANKS BRO *fistbump*

SherylA80 · November 2013

PLEASE

SherylA80 · November 2013

Get over it.

yurmom · November 2013

SherylA80 said:
Get over it.

PLEASE stop posting...and the thread will die. PLEASE.

SherylA80 · November 2013

My freaking pleasure.

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