Epidural or not: what will influence your choice most?

wtfisup · November 2013

Firstly, you do whatever you want/need to do. No judgement from me. We all now that it's a personal choice, and no one wants a lecture.

I'm just curious about what influences the decision. The topic has come up in conversation a lot lately with folks from different countries, and it's clear that everything around birth is very, very cultural, including the science we each cited. So I'm curious, whether you have or haven't decided about your birth options, what's influencing it most?

(PS: I ask that, if folks do explain their personal reasons, to let them have them. I.e. no attempted persuasive replies?)

wtfisup · November 2013

I WANT to say my choice is based on research, but my choice also aligns with what my friends have all chosen, so I'd be naive to ignore the fact that there's some influence there.

tbmadeamistake · November 2013

I based my poll vote on my own experience with my last birth. I went in wanting to go as natural as possible. After some pitocin, the pain was so intense that I was sobbing through contractions and it was using up all of my energy. I chose the epidural based on the thinking that if I continued to try and push through the pain, being only 4cm at that point, that I might end up too tired to push and end up with a c-section. I'd much rather have the epi than a section, so I chose the epi. For me, it was perfect. It took the edge off, calmed me down, I napped for two hours during which time I progressed from a 4 to a 9.5cm. They did an excellent job tapering off the epi during the pushing so that I could follow my body and use my muscles effectively. By the time C was delivered I could just about feel everything.

This time, again, I plan to go as natural as possible but am once again open to the idea of whatever happens, happens. As long as this baby comes out healthy, and I'm healthy, I'll do whatever I need to.

Jbosarge85 · November 2013

I wanted to click my personal convictions/desires an research I've done. Because both.

spacepotatoes · November 2013

My decision is based on research and others' experiences as well. I'd like to go as long as possible without one but if I end up feeling like I absolutely need it, then I'm open that.

Mrs_D_in_KY · November 2013

My decision was based on research and my delivery with my son. I made it to 6 cm and the pain was making me crazy, I got the epidural then because I needed to rest some after laboring so long.

rboisvert · November 2013

I chose other, I had an epi late in labor with DD and while it was a relief after 17 hours of labor we ended up in a c/s 6 hours later due to ma-presentation. I'm fairly certain that had she not been trying to exit via my hip bone I would have been able to make it without the epi. We'll see how we do this time around, hoping for my med-free vbac.

alyss0nl · November 2013

I know I am getting an Epidural, nothing will change that. It made my last delivery more relaxing for me and I could really focus on pushing without being exhausted from the labor. Although I couldn't get up or walk around, I had an overall good experience with the epidural.

owlcup · November 2013

I based my choice solely on my personal feelings about it. I hate being numb in any way, shape or form. So I wanted to avoid that.

I had a med-free birth with both my kids. And honestly, even if I wanted an epi this time, I probably wouldn't have time to get one. With DS I was only in labor for 3 hours and had him 10 minutes after arriving at the hospital so I'm guessing this baby will be just as quick.

laurakaz13 · November 2013

I will have an epidural b/c it made my last labor and delivery calm, relaxing and easy. I have no desire to go through the awful, unnecessary pain of labor if I don't have to. And I work in healthcare and have done all the research and know it's perfectly safe for me and my baby.

SGC29 · November 2013

What influenced my decision was the pain. It hurt like a motherfucker. I made it 14 hours (the first time) without one and that was more than enough. I loved both my epidurals. So, so much.

EmbracingChange · November 2013

Where's the option for "depends on how much I hurt and whether or not I'm threatening people"...

wtfisup · November 2013

EmbracingChange said:

Where's the option for "depends on how much I hurt and whether or not I'm threatening people"...

Well, I almost put "My vagina will tell me" as an option.

curlylocks3 · November 2013

I selected "research" because there was no special snowflake option but its actually based on several things- stories, physician recommendation, and personal belief. I've backed up everything I've been told with research so that seemed to be what best explains my decision.

EmbracingChange · November 2013

I knew I needed it with our son about the time I was saying " why do you keep calling me? Don't you have more to do in Iraq than call me? Fark!" Of course he knew I didn't mean it... He did call back about two minutes after he was born though. That was nice

yvanehtnioj · November 2013

I want to experience the chain reaction of hormones that natural childbirth brings. But it sounds like pitocin makes the choice for almost everyone who receives it.

AutumnBonfire · November 2013

I wanted to go as "natural" as possible with DS, but my water broke and I wasn't in labor and I had to start pitocin. I was in the hospital 26 hours from the time my water broke until my son was born and when the contractions really started to hurt, I wasn't dialated much and had already missed one full night's sleep. I had no idea how long it would go on. I was asking for the epi so early the doc said no at first. When I finally got it, I was able to nap a little. Unfortunately I think it wore off just in time for the big event. I needed to have forceps used and having giant metal tongs shoved up your vag hurts pretty damn bad. They had to stop in the middle of stitching me up afterward to give me something because I could feel it. This is why I'm planning on an epidural this time around.

breakfastt · November 2013

So, I often wonder about these women who opt for all-natural drug-free births, yet still choose to circumcise their sons. (I just watched a video of one being performed and have to wonder who in the world would willingly choose that when it's so unnecessary... It was the most disturbing thing I've ever seen). If the baby "won't remember anyway" - the argument given for circumcision - then why put yourself through all that if you really don't have to? Other than being able to say you did it, to which other people will say... "Uh, cool, good for you". Just seems so backward.

Oh, but anyway can't you just request to not have pitocin? I've heard they give it to a TON of people who don't need it just because they (the med team) are impatient. I'm hoping that this is possible because I want an epi, but don't want my delivery sped up just because doctor-whoever wants to go home.

NADA-H · November 2013

I'd have to say it's research, friend's experience, and my fear of pain+low tolerance of pain... I don't know if it's low tolerance or just the fear that makes me feel it's worse I didn't wax until I was older, I used to shave because I was worried waxing was going to be painful and now I do it like it's nothing...I'd love to be able to go through a natural med free birth but I don't know if I can and I don't know if I will get a chance to change my mind during active labor

NADA-H · November 2013

breakfast med teams seem to do a lot of things that they don't have to just to shorten labors and births that it's freaking me out already!

Butterflyinvegas · November 2013

When I had my 3rd baby in June I was given the epi and it took the edge off so I could get some rest. When I woke up the nurse came in to adjust how much pitocin I was getting because the babys heart rate was becoming erratic!?! I was never asked nor did I even know I was given pitocin. It really upset me that they feel like they can do whatever they want to you.

Teejay26 · November 2013

I had my son when i was 16 and my labour and delivery was purely natural, it wasn't planned out that way, it was just a personal choice at the time as i felt i was coping well enough without pain relief. I suffered a very frightening post partum heamorrage after delivery though and this scared the shit out of me lol.
I'm hoping i can cope as well this time round while in labour but i'll just play it by ear and see what happens, although if i feel that i need pain relief then i certainly won't hesitate in asking

I would prefer to not have an epidural though and this is purely because i have saw the effects of this on other family members (still suffering back pain years later.)
Every birth and every situation is different though so we shall see this time round. :P

spacepotatoes · November 2013

breakfastt said:

So, I often wonder about these women who opt for all-natural drug-free births, yet still choose to circumcise their sons. (I just watched a video of one being performed and have to wonder who in the world would willingly choose that when it's so unnecessary... It was the most disturbing thing I've ever seen). If the baby "won't remember anyway" - the argument given for circumcision - then why put yourself through all that if you really don't have to? Other than being able to say you did it, to which other people will say... "Uh, cool, good for you". Just seems so backward.
Oh, but anyway can't you just request to not have pitocin? I've heard they give it to a TON of people who don't need it just because they (the med team) are impatient. I'm hoping that this is possible because I want an epi, but don't want my delivery sped up just because doctor-whoever wants to go home.

The only thing I'm going to say in response to this is that no, my decisions surrounding my birth plan are not made for the sole purpose of being able to get a medal at the end of it. But thanks for assuming that those of us who opt out don't know any better than that.

Ok, actually, I will say one more thing. I find it funny that after all the lecturing you've done about the tone of this board, you're the only one throwing judgement around in this thread, after the OP specifically requested that we do not.

PrimRoseMama · November 2013

I've done both med free & medicated (epi at 9cm). Given the choice for #3 (with DD I had no choice. Labor progressed too fast) I'd choose an epidural.

PrimRoseMama · November 2013

breakfastt said:
So, I often wonder about these women who opt for all-natural drug-free births, yet still choose to circumcise their sons. (I just watched a video of one being performed and have to wonder who in the world would willingly choose that when it's so unnecessary... It was the most disturbing thing I've ever seen). If the baby "won't remember anyway" - the argument given for circumcision - then why put yourself through all that if you really don't have to? Other than being able to say you did it, to which other people will say... "Uh, cool, good for you". Just seems so backward.

Oh, but anyway can't you just request to not have pitocin? I've heard they give it to a TON of people who don't need it just because they (the med team) are impatient. I'm hoping that this is possible because I want an epi, but don't want my delivery sped up just because doctor-whoever wants to go home.

I'm confused about what a woman's labor decisions/experiences have anything to do (like, at all?) with circumcision? Apples & oranges?

You can decline any medical treatment you don't want. However, I'd like to know where you "heard" this bit about the pitocin. I've never heard that at all from reliable sources. Please share.

2ndGeneration · November 2013

I have never had an epidural. I have had five unmedicated births. Two main reasons-I'm kind of controlling and I don't want any effects (no iv or confined to bed), plus NO ONE is jabbing a needle into my back LOL unless absolutely necessary!

Some women are very happy with them and I think we should all do what works for us. It works for me to not have it.

ncbelle · November 2013

I've had two med free deliveries and I'm planning a 3rd. I chose to skip the epidural because every intervention - and the epi is an intervention - increases the risk of c-section or the need for other interventions. There's also evidence that epidurals can (don't always but can) interfere with early breastfeeding. Finally, I felt 100% fabulous as soon as my babies were out - was up walking around normally right away. Plus no risk of epidural side effects (some women have terrible headaches or pain months later).

As a personal example, had I had an epidural with my 2nd, I almost surely would have had a c-section. She was 10 pounds and not quite lined up correctly so I stalled around 6 cm for several hours. Only because I was able to move a LOT was I able to get her into position. She also had a slight shoulder dystocia on the way out - but because I didn't have an epi, I was quickly able to switch to the hands and knees position and she was out in one push - no injury to either of us and I didn't even tear. Had I had an epi, I'd have ended up with major surgery - which I personally would prefer to avoid.

There are situations in which I would choose to have an epi (for example if I was exhausted by a long labor and needed to rest to avoid a section) so I think they can in some cases help outcomes. But not the majority of the time.

ETA: To address the question - research

The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth is a great place to start - it's not really "crunchy" for those who dislike such things. If you want "crunch" or some really empowering natural birth stories, Ina May's books are the way to go. I find birth research really interesting so I've also looked at many peer reviewed studies.

runningyogimama · November 2013

I researched the first time and went in with an open mind...and, from the experience I had the first time, I will be getting one ASAP next time. So, personal experience, which I don't see as an option.

MississippiCatfish · November 2013

My first birth was awful. My epi didn't work and I was unprepared to handle birth without it. I won't do that to myself again. I'm preparing for a natural birth this time.

ETA I received pitocin at the very end of my labor, right before crowning, and I didn't feel any difference in ye intensity of my contractions. I believe it maybe because the were just already very strong, but FWIW, I didn't feel a difference. It isn't a game-changer for everyone.

NADA-H · November 2013

GhostMonkey in a lot of cases, some mentioned by the ladies here, doctors opt to do things without getting back to the mother during labor, it does happen, you have the option to say no if they ask you but sometimes they simply don't and it happens, especially where I live where it's thought that the doctor knows best and everything goes by routine methods even if it isn't your wish, an examples of that is the high rates of women getting cut during birth to speed up the labor although there is no need for it, or educing women who don't need an enduction just to have them give birth even quicker, it isn't standard practice but it happens a lot.

as to reading books, attending childbirth classes etc I'm doing that currently but if I find myself freaked out on the day, in too much pain, or scared so much that it's affecting me or the baby I will definitely get an epi. Life is hard enough as it is and will get even harder once the baby arrives so if this pain is unbearable to me, especially as you said if I've been in labor for days then BRING ON THE DRUGS! for sure. It's a pure personal decision.

momthatlifts · November 2013

I would love love love to have a natural birth for this first one because I know after this baby I will most like get an epi for my next pregnancies. I just want to know what it feels like. I know that my doctor has me down to meet with the anesthesiologist and I will most likely change my mind once I start feeling uncomfortable because I know me way too well. So I would say the pain level is what will influence my decision,

wtfisup · November 2013

Joy2611 said:

wtfisup said:

(PS: I ask that, if folks do explain their personal reasons, to let them have them. I.e. no attempted persuasive replies?)

Also? Please stop trying to police the board. You aren't a mod. You don't control the people here and how they respond. I'm not sure how many times you need to be told that. It's tiresome dealing with a bossypants. We're adults - let us respond how we see fit as long as they don't break the Terms of Service, mmmmmmkay?

Just. Calm. Down. Asking for basic courtesy =/= policing or modding. Nothing in this thread, not a single comment, is personal except this one.

wtfisup · November 2013

Joy2611 said:

Personal convinction. I truly want to try and go med-free. I plan to prepare as much as possible for it and go in with that mindset. There are many reasons that going pain-free appeals to me.
But, I realize that things may not go as planned, I might need Pitocin, or it might just hurt like a motherfucker. In which case, I'll be signing up for that epidural.

That's pretty much my stance. I feel like making this decision without ever having done it, I'm about as informed as a donkey explaining how to put on makeup. I like to read a gazillion things and feel informed, but life experience has told me that it's kind of a false security. No amount of reading will prepare me for the experience.

wtfisup · November 2013

Joy2611 said:

wtfisup said:

Joy2611 said:

wtfisup said:

(PS: I ask that, if folks do explain their personal reasons, to let them have them. I.e. no attempted persuasive replies?)

Also? Please stop trying to police the board. You aren't a mod. You don't control the people here and how they respond. I'm not sure how many times you need to be told that. It's tiresome dealing with a bossypants. We're adults - let us respond how we see fit as long as they don't break the Terms of Service, mmmmmmkay?

Just. Calm. Down. This is a super overreaction.

You are insanely tiresome with your holier than thou stuff. Just cut it out.

I'm not sure what I've done, but if you're very agitated by me, you could just block me. This seems like an attempt to just derail a thread.

wtfisup · November 2013

ncbelle said:

I've had two med free deliveries and I'm planning a 3rd. I chose to skip the epidural because every intervention - and the epi is an intervention - increases the risk of c-section or the need for other interventions. There's also evidence that epidurals can (don't always but can) interfere with early breastfeeding. Finally, I felt 100% fabulous as soon as my babies were out - was up walking around normally right away. Plus no risk of epidural side effects (some women have terrible headaches or pain months later).

As a personal example, had I had an epidural with my 2nd, I almost surely would have had a c-section. She was 10 pounds and not quite lined up correctly so I stalled around 6 cm for several hours. Only because I was able to move a LOT was I able to get her into position. She also had a slight shoulder dystocia on the way out - but because I didn't have an epi, I was quickly able to switch to the hands and knees position and she was out in one push - no injury to either of us and I didn't even tear. Had I had an epi, I'd have ended up with major surgery - which I personally would prefer to avoid.

There are situations in which I would choose to have an epi (for example if I was exhausted by a long labor and needed to rest to avoid a section) so I think they can in some cases help outcomes. But not the majority of the time.

ETA: To address the question - research The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth is a great place to start - it's not really "crunchy" for those who dislike such things. If you want "crunch" or some really empowering natural birth stories, Ina May's books are the way to go. I find birth research really interesting so I've also looked at many peer reviewed studies.

So, I bought that book -- The Thinking Woman's Guide ... -- and I thought it was great in terms of information, assisting with making a decision, but now I want something that provides advice on how to get through a natural birth, which it didn't really include. Any suggestions?

breakfastt · November 2013

Oh Jesus ladies give it a rest. Funny how super sensitive you can all get when someone asks you what they feel is a legitimate question. Such hypocrites we have here!
I wasn't being judgmental (or trying to be), I was simply asking why the two DONT go hand in hand since the majority of women I know PERSONALLY who have had a natural birth do so because they don't want the baby to "come into the world on drugs" or just to - I guess - lord it over the rest of us for the duration of their lives, since that's all they seem to do. If you have better reasons, more power to you and that answers my question. You're a more pain-tolerant woman than I.
Since this is the reasoning of many women I know, I was wondering why the state of mind the baby comes into the world in and the other horrific things so many women do to baby boys aren't considered one in the same. The research I've done on the procedure has made it seem like, wow, mutilation. Especially for a woman to stand by and watch having done, I don't get how a mother could do that with all the screaming. It's also completely "unnatural" and unnecessary for the functioning of a MAN's body so why do we perpetuate mutilating them and then turn around and say we want to listen to our bodies and do things naturally blah blah? I honestly don't understand and was just bored on my phone last night so I thought I would ask rather than start a whole new thread since I PERSONALLY see the two as related. I answered the OP's original question and I'm not preventing anyone else from doing so.

You girls are just too funny and SO touchy! Sorry I'm not giving you puppy dogs and rainbows (wink wink) since this is an opinion post and I actually have one of my own. I am really enjoying the hypocrisy though.

wtfisup · November 2013

breakfastt said:

Oh Jesus ladies give it a rest. Funny how super sensitive you can all get when someone asks you what they feel is a legitimate question. Such hypocrites we have here!
I wasn't being judgmental (or trying to be), I was simply asking why the two DONT go hand in hand since the majority of women I know PERSONALLY who have had a natural birth do so because they don't want the baby to "come into the world on drugs" or just to - I guess - lord it over the rest of us for the duration of their lives, since that's all they seem to do. If you have better reasons, more power to you and that answers my question. You're a more pain-tolerant woman than I.
Since this is the reasoning of many women I know, I was wondering why the state of mind the baby comes into the world in and the other horrific things so many women do to baby boys aren't considered one in the same. The research I've done on the procedure has made it seem like, wow, mutilation. Especially for a woman to stand by and watch having done, I don't get how a mother could do that with all the screaming. It's also completely "unnatural" and unnecessary for the functioning of a MAN's body so why do we perpetuate mutilating them and then turn around and say we want to listen to our bodies and do things naturally blah blah? I honestly don't understand and was just bored on my phone last night so I thought I would ask rather than start a whole new thread since I PERSONALLY see the two as related. I answered the OP's original question and I'm not preventing anyone else from doing so.
You girls are just too funny and SO touchy! Sorry I'm not giving you puppy dogs and rainbows (wink wink) since this is an opinion post and I actually have one of my own. I am really enjoying the hypocrisy though.

This thread is not about circumcisions. If you'd like to chat about that, I'm sure there's a board where that topic is brought up more. It's a valid discussion; this just isn't about it.

breakfastt · November 2013

Thanks, ill do that. Also, thanks for not jumping down my throat about it. Just because I get in an argument with a few of the women on here once doesn't mean everything else I have to say is purposefully antagonistic.

wtfisup · November 2013

breakfastt said:

Thanks, ill do that. Also, thanks for not jumping down my throat about it. Just because I get in an argument with a few of the women on here once doesn't mean everything else I have to say is purposefully antagonistic.

Sure. Maybe 3rd trimester, 0-3 months. Or there could be a more specific board, I'm not sure.

nitabita82 · November 2013

I would get it just because I'm a big baby when it comes to pain.

breakfastt · November 2013

NellyBluth said:

wtfisup said:

breakfastt said:

Thanks, ill do that. Also, thanks for not jumping down my throat about it. Just because I get in an argument with a few of the women on here once doesn't mean everything else I have to say is purposefully antagonistic.

Sure. Maybe 3rd trimester, 0-3 months. Or there could be a more specific board, I'm not sure.

I'll warn you right now that circumcision is one of those hot button topics that almost always results in an argument. It has been done to death. Use the search function to find some of the discussions and read through those before starting a new one.

Will do. Not trying to start an argument, just want a better understanding of the reasoning behind it. Thanks!

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Epidural or not: what will influence your choice most?

Epidural or not: what will influence your choice most? 183 votes

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Married DH 7/30/11

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