Having one of those days where the enormity of what we're facing with DS is really hitting me. Pretty please cut him, and us, a break. A miracle would be good, but I'd be cool with a flurry of development. He's come so far, but keeps falling farther and farther behind...and that is hard to see.
Also, please keep DH safe when he deploys and get him back here in time for delivery of LO#2. And please, let LO#2 get here safely and be as healthy (and NT) as possible.
DS2, Please stop B&M'ing and whining and pitching fits about every.little.thing. And the breath holding during tantrums? Yeah, stop that too. You scared the bejeebers out of me a few days ago because I honestly thought you were going to pass out. I know I shouldn't compare but I would really love it if you were as eager and willing to learn (do "tablework"/school work) as your brother. Love, The Mommy
Me, Please stop yelling and get some patience. You know you are starting to hear your own lack of patience and frustrations coming out of at least your first born and you also know that you don't like it. Me
You may have been carded last night(the hair dye covering your grey must be working LOL), but your body is telling you something else. A hang over after two drinks is kind of pathetic.
Sincerely,
You 30 something year old body
-------------------------
Dear DS,
Your so awesome. Just when I start diving down the rabbit hole of worry and anxiety you pull it together and EXPLODE with progress.
I'm sorry that you're dealing with new medical stuff, which means LOTS of appointments, but that doesn't make it ok to act out! You went from being 4 to a whiny 2 year old over night! Not amused, also your attitude is so much like me, lol it's hard to stay mad at her sometimes because I see a miniature version of my mouthy self.
Love, "mother" as you would say.
Dear M, Stop being concerned about what other people are doing and worry about yourself! If P isn't listening it doesn't make it OK for you to have a 20min meltdown and bang your head off the floor. Its P not you.
Huge Sigh.
Dear H, Thanks for finally stepping into a more fatherly role, and doing things without me asking you 12 times, it makes my life a little easier. I know I need to understand that even though your schedule has changed, you still work 60 hours a week (not 70) but I am grateful you are here everynight after 1 1/2 years of 6 days a week doing everything with them.
Please change my siggie!! I have updated it multiple times over the past few days, and yet it's still showing as the old one!
To my boys: I will love you for you Not for what you have done or what you will become I will love you for you I will give you the love The love that you never knew
Thanks for keeping a roof over our heads, food on the table - literally, internet and heat - oh and the car, please God let the car keep going...even though it feels like we can't pay the next check. Oh and help me or help me find some help filling out SSI - please please please and thank you.
Accepting the Journey
Dear DD,
Thank you for the glimmers of hope week this week following the month from hell - we both have puffy eyes but we are gonna make it, I promise. Oh and please bring back the physical contact, the nice kind, because well I think we are losing that part of our world.
Momma
Dear Family mostly my parents,
Suck it, you suck right now - I can't even tell you about the upcoming MRI which is thanksgiving week then my ass has to pretend a tube/LMA and drugs weren't shoved on my child the few days before ruling out or dx epilepsy, CP, or God-forbid worse. Face it - you have a SPD and FA grandchild, you have a SPD, OCD, anxiety, multi-physical co-morbid high functioning grandchild, and one dx as ODD - all who will be at thanksgiving with the other NT 2 so.....yeah. Oh and they came from each of your kids so you can't really blame NOR ignore us now can you.
When I shared that my kid was on track to graduate on time and with a 3.5+ GPA in the spring, did you really need to say "Now he can go onto Big Boy College? C'mon. That was below your dignity.
Especially given that your DD went to Kinda College to study musical theater and only bought a single textbook in 4 years. And doubly especially since her one real gig was Wendla in a regional company which paid her almost minimum wage and reguired two topless scenes. So yeah.
I didn't jump all over you because of the fight with your DH you called to vent about. TBH, I can see why he reacted as he did when you suggested he couldn't "age in place" at your current house. Sometimes you're too damned blunt.
Assembly_Reqd
member
Re: Open Letter Thursday
Dear Universe,
Having one of those days where the enormity of what we're facing with DS is really hitting me. Pretty please cut him, and us, a break. A miracle would be good, but I'd be cool with a flurry of development. He's come so far, but keeps falling farther and farther behind...and that is hard to see.
Also, please keep DH safe when he deploys and get him back here in time for delivery of LO#2. And please, let LO#2 get here safely and be as healthy (and NT) as possible.
TIA,
JB
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11
BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14
My Recipe Blog
~All AL'ers welcome~
Please stop B&M'ing and whining and pitching fits about every.little.thing. And the breath holding during tantrums? Yeah, stop that too. You scared the bejeebers out of me a few days ago because I honestly thought you were going to pass out. I know I shouldn't compare but I would really love it if you were as eager and willing to learn (do "tablework"/school work) as your brother.
Love,
The Mommy
Me,
Please stop yelling and get some patience. You know you are starting to hear your own lack of patience and frustrations coming out of at least your first born and you also know that you don't like it.
Me
You may have been carded last night(the hair dye covering your grey must be working LOL), but your body is telling you something else. A hang over after two drinks is kind of pathetic.
Sincerely,
You 30 something year old body
-------------------------
Dear DS,
Your so awesome. Just when I start diving down the rabbit hole of worry and anxiety you pull it together and EXPLODE with progress.
Sincerely,
One lucky Mommy
-------------------
DS 09/2008
Love,
"mother" as you would say.
Dear M,
Stop being concerned about what other people are doing and worry about yourself! If P isn't listening it doesn't make it OK for you to have a 20min meltdown and bang your head off the floor. Its P not you.
Huge Sigh.
Dear H,
Thanks for finally stepping into a more fatherly role, and doing things without me asking you 12 times, it makes my life a little easier. I know I need to understand that even though your schedule has changed, you still work 60 hours a week (not 70) but I am grateful you are here everynight after 1 1/2 years of 6 days a week doing everything with them.
Love you.
Dear God,
Thanks for keeping a roof over our heads, food on the table - literally, internet and heat - oh and the car, please God let the car keep going...even though it feels like we can't pay the next check. Oh and help me or help me find some help filling out SSI - please please please and thank you.
Accepting the Journey
Dear DD,
Thank you for the glimmers of hope week this week following the month from hell - we both have puffy eyes but we are gonna make it, I promise. Oh and please bring back the physical contact, the nice kind, because well I think we are losing that part of our world.
Momma
Dear Family mostly my parents,
Suck it, you suck right now - I can't even tell you about the upcoming MRI which is thanksgiving week then my ass has to pretend a tube/LMA and drugs weren't shoved on my child the few days before ruling out or dx epilepsy, CP, or God-forbid worse. Face it - you have a SPD and FA grandchild, you have a SPD, OCD, anxiety, multi-physical co-morbid high functioning grandchild, and one dx as ODD - all who will be at thanksgiving with the other NT 2 so.....yeah. Oh and they came from each of your kids so you can't really blame NOR ignore us now can you.
See you in two weeks
Can't Wait for My Blog Post