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Entrustment Ceremonies

CarolinaGirl2014CarolinaGirl2014 member
edited November 2013 in Adoption
As I get closer and closer to labor and delivery, I'm trying to plan out everything that can be. I read about entrustment ceremonies, and it seems like a pretty neat idea. We all share the same faith, so some sort of dedication lead by my father seems appropriate as well (PAP's have met and adore my parents). The PAP's will have one set of parents in town, and I'm guessing my Mom, Dad, and sister would attend.  I've grown very close to the PAP's, esp the PAMom. I'm wondering if our relationship would make this feel hokie or forced, which is probably a very silly thought. I've heard of some families having them in the days after placement, but that may be difficult as they live 2 hours away. And doing it months or even weeks later seems weird because I will have already "entrusted" them with her, and she will be their baby at this time (if you feel differently please share!).

SO:
1. Have any of you done this? If so, when/where, and how do you feel about it?
2. Do any of you wish you had?
3. Do you think it would be too overwhelming at the hospital chapel on the day of discharge?

As always, I'm so thankful for your insight. You always provide the truth in a kind and considerate way.

ETA: I would of course mention it to the PAP's as a possibility to get their feel for it. Just deciding if I want it first.
Birthmom to A, 1/8- the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -Lao-Tzu

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Re: Entrustment Ceremonies

  • aligrossaligross member
    First - let me say... You. Are. Amazing! I pray someday our birth momma will be as thoughtful and warmhearted as you are! 

    To answer your questions... 
    1. I have never been a part of one of these ceremonies... I know people who have been and they thought it was a great start to their parenthood journey, while respecting and caring for the birthparents! 

    2. I hope to have a ceremony or something that is held in the chapel where we all are able to be together, pray for the baby, for birth parents and their family and then for us the adoptive family. 

    3. I think that the day is going to be overwhelming no matter what happens. I think if as an AP I was able to plan something special with the BM where we both knew "this is it", and I was then able to present her with the gift we had for her etc. it would be a wonderful, special memory. Something we could all talk about to the child throughout their lifetime! 


    Began the Adoption process 4/2013
    Home study Approved 12/2013
    .... and the wait begins! 

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  • MrsMuenichMrsMuenich member
    I had an entrustment ceremony with my LO on the day we were discharged (though it was in the evening and we were discharged around lunchtime). It was in the hospital chapel. Yes, it was overwhelming, but the whole hospital stay was overwhelming. I've never been more overwhelmed in my life!
    That being said, I'm glad we had it. Ceremonies are important for us as people, and it is special to look at our ceremony program, the verse we picked out, and the words I shared about God's plan with LO.
    FWIW to add, APs never gave me a gift. I don't know if that's normal, but I hear things about gifts on here often, and I didn't want you to be disappointed if they didn't!
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  • MrsMuenichMrsMuenich member
    Also to add: I hadn't signed TPR at that point since I was released on a Sunday.  FWIW2.
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  • CarolinaGirl2014CarolinaGirl2014 member
    @Aligross: Thank you! I've been so blessed with incredible PAP's that always put my feelings before their own. It's been extremely helpful to be on here and see things from the other perspective, too. Thanks for the insight! I think I will be talking to them about this next weekend! Seems weird to text about it.

    @MrsMeunich: Thank you! Helps to know the hassle is worth the benefit for everyone involved. I'm not expecting a gift, anyway. They've had to step up to help with some living expenses I can't meet due to the pregnancy, which I feel guilty about because it seems above and beyond. Thanks for thinking to give me a head's up, though!
    Birthmom to A, 1/8- the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

    A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -Lao-Tzu

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  • maryoosamaryoosa member
    @CarolinaGirl2014 I think that if it feels right to everyone involved then go for it. For our triad, it just wouldn't have felt right. Instead, our son's mom asked us to stay with her and her lawyer and witness while she signed the initial TPR. We felt very blessed that she allowed us to witness that (and of course checked in on the legality of us being in the room because we didn't want her to feel coerced). Then, we all spent the next few hours in her room, talking and visiting and getting the baby ready to leave and we walked out of the hospital together. I think for all of us (and I can't speak for our son's mom) but an entrustment ceremony would have just felt weird. Especially since we live in a state where there is a 30 day revocation period.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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