People stealing your baby names...

bmfell · November 2013

We have had a boys full name picked out for two years. My husbands cousin is due two months before us and has just announced if they have a boy it will be named that name. The full name! We are announcing our pregnancy on Sunday to his whole family which happens to be the same day they are doing their gender reveal. I'm having a hard time not getting upset. Would you be mad? What would you do? My mom says we should name it the same regardless. Lol!

KingLED · November 2013

bmfell said:

We have had a boys full name picked out for two years. My husbands cousin is due two months before us and has just announced if they have a boy it will be named that name. The full name! We are announcing our pregnancy on Sunday to his whole family which happens to be the same day they are doing their gender reveal. I'm having a hard time not getting upset. Would you be mad? What would you do? My mom says we should name it the same regardless. Lol!

Did you tell them that was the name you were going to use if you have a boy this pregnancy? Was it mentioned as a "oh, I like this for when/if we eventually have a boy." Did they even know you were pregnant?

supgabs · November 2013

Hope for a girl!

But to answer your question, yes I would be a little ticked. This is one of the reasons I haven't really shared the names I like with people who are still able to reproduce.

bmfell · November 2013

Yes. His family is super close and has known about it for awhile. It is also not a common name which his aunt has made fun of us for. They announced that name at a dinner Friday night and my sister in law went crazy about it. Only his immediate family knows about our pregnancy.

bmfell · November 2013

I'm hoping they have a girl! Lol! Yes, we could end up having a girl. We def have learned that we will not tell anyone our names from now on.

katekat8721 · November 2013

Is it a common name or a family name? Or did they know in advance that you guys loved it and "stole" it?

Either way, there's really nothing you can do about it. It's a sucky situation but people do this all the time unfortunately!

If you really love the name you can still name your LO it regardless. Plus, who knows if she's even having a boy yet!

bmfell · November 2013

It's not a common name that's why I've been so pissed about it. Oh well, I'll let y'all know what the sex is on Sunday!

tbmadeamistake · November 2013

I would be irked, but I wouldn't necessarily let it stop me from using the name! My second cousin has a daughter with the same name as C, and I think actually a son with the same boy name that we want to use, too! Ah well. We're not terribly close with them, so whatevs.

babygabe614 · November 2013

I'd be upset. I understand all the very valid reasons why it really shouldn't be a big deal, but if I had a name picked out and had my heart set on it, heck yes I would be sad to give it up (and no, I wouldn't just name my kid the same thing if this is close family and they're going to be growing up together... that would just be weird to me).

This is one reason why we plan to keep our name ideas secret until we are 100% decided on a name (and know the sex obviously). That and I don't want anyone talking us out of a name we love.

I'm sorry they did that! Fx it's just a prank.

christinemurray91 · November 2013

Oh man, I would be FURIOUS. Absolutely livid.

They knew that was the name you wanted and just blatantly stole it... I, honestly, would say something... and be pretty damn firm about it.

Edit: Seems I'm taking it harder than most. I think it's just because she picked this name and has had to deal with snotty comment from family because of it... so it seems unlikely that they didn't know what they were doing.

christinemurray91 · November 2013

babygabe614 said:
"This is one reason why we plan to keep our name ideas secret until we are 100% decided on a name (and know the sex obviously). That and I don't want anyone talking us out of a name we love"

Yep! Name and gender are going to be a secret this time

Especially because we had some drama over the name and people not liking it... and then telling us what we should be naming her.

Not cool.

Luna C · November 2013

BPaws said:

In my opinion, it's not really fair to call dibs on a name.

I get what you're saying, and I don't totally disagree. But I also think it's tacky as hell to take a pretty unusual name that someone else came up with use it -- esp. if you don't even check first.

If the name you have your heart set on is John, well, yeah, OK, it's silly to get upset when someone else uses it. But if you tell people you've wanted to name your daughter Sparklepony Princess for years, they're assholes if they use it and I think it's Ok to be upset about that.

KingLED · November 2013

It's always possible that she didn't even remember where she heard the name and she just remembered that she liked it.

nflan16 · November 2013

That is really rude! You should say, oh we are using that name too! I've known for years that will be our first boy, and maybe it will make them not choose it if they know you won't back down. I can't believe they would take the full name you picked! I won't be sharing our babies names until their born because I could see some of my relatives doing the same thing

littlemonstermama · November 2013

I'd be upset if one of my husband's cousins did that, especially if it was a unique name. If it was another Mary or Joseph, I wouldn't be too butthurt. It just stinks that you can't ask them to change it, so all you can really do is say, "Hey, that hurt my feelings," but I think it's pretty clear they won't give a rip.

Gigi8212 · November 2013

nflan16 said:
That is really rude! You should say, oh we are using that name too! I've known for years that will be our first boy, and maybe it will make them not choose it if they know you won't back down. I can't believe they would take the full name you picked! I won't be sharing our babies names until their born because I could see some of my relatives doing the same thing

Haha, that is a great idea!

Personally, I don't really understand the whole dibs thing. Like other pps said, there are millions of names out there, etc etc.

My sister actually called dibs on my dd's name years ago and she still is nowhere near ready to have kids, but I did ask her how she felt about me using it beforehand and she luckily gave me her blessing. Other than that though, I say any name is fair game.

kelseylawson · November 2013

I accidentally gave away our "girl name" while wasted one night (typical... Just kidding... Maybe not) and it was "stolen." Oh well! We're still naming our girl the name, who even cares anymore?! Sorry, not to be mean but come on, call them out on it, see their response and go from there. :-bd

feistybear · November 2013

You both don't even know what you're having!

I wouldn't be mad till I knew for sure, there's no reason to get worked up and then they end up having a girl.

Now if they are having a boy I would be upset, I would talk to her about it, but ultimately like PPs said you can't really call dibs because people are going to do what they want. You don't have control over that.

ElTrain5 · November 2013

Tell them that you still 100% plan on using that name for a boy. Hopefully (if you both have boys) they will be the ones who cave and decide on something else.

kaitlin&kurth · November 2013

Reason #1 why I don't share my names with anybody! If someone asks I have a decoy I'll tell them, but I don't tell anyone except maybe my parents what we are seriously considering.

lest12 · November 2013

Right or wrong, I know I'd be annoyed.

Pepper6 · November 2013

I'd be annoyed if it was a name I'd always talked about, but it also wouldn't deter me from using it. I'd let them know that and they might be the ones to back down.

arekeweg · November 2013

My cousin had a little girl earlier this year and they chose one of my favorite girl names, Nora. When I found out what they chose, I told her how much I have always loved that name and had hoped to use it one day. She said, go for it! It's not like they will cross paths that often. Now, she never knew I loved that name and the name doesn't really sound good with my married last name so it's not a big deal.

DH has a cousin with the same name as him as well. When his parents adopted him, his mom asked her brother and sister-in-law if they minded them being the same name. I guess they didn't since they are the same.

Your situation, I think they should have asked first especially since they knew. As PPs have said, wait and see what happens on Sunday. I personally would not change the name you chose.

kcartwright12 · November 2013

I would be irked, but we had the same thing happen in our family. Two cousins were pregnant with boys at the same time and both liked the same name, Alexander. The girls worked together and decided to name both boys Alexander but call them different nicknames. One is Alex and the other is Zander. Not sure if that is an option for you guys, but all worked out in our family.

Shellann1 · November 2013

Oh totally wanna know what this name is too!!! Tell tell!!!

EmbracingChange · November 2013

I'd be irritated. Of course I'm a bit tired of people taking my ideas... I told DH's aunt that I loved the name Josselyn, she used it as her baby's middle name two months later. DH told his cousin that Keira was on our list, their daughter was born a month before ours... Keira Jo. Told some close friends that I'm also on a message board with that DS would be Bronwyn if he were a girl, friend named her daughter Bronwyn. Announced their name choice one week after I posted it. This time, I'm keeping my pie hole shut.

Luna C · November 2013

BPaws said:

Granted..... Name sharing obviously doesn't bother me, if we have a boy his name will be Michael.

I assumed you'd be using Daryl if it was a boy.

MrsAMB07 · November 2013

It would annoy me. I know you can't claim a name, but I think it depends on the situation.

Last pregnancy we were team green. DS called the baby by a nickname that could've worked for either boy or girl. He came up with it on his own and we thought it was cute so we used it as a place holder. SIL and MIL were mortified that we dared to use that because it was "SIL's name"... even thought she wasn't even near ready to be pregnant at the time. Every time the name was mentioned, we got reminded how we couldn't use it. It was annoying of them, but we respected it and didn't actually use the name.

Now SIL is pregnant and not even considering that name. When I told her we'd be using the boy name we didn't use last time she told me that she wanted to use a very similar name if hers is a boy, one letter different. DH will be very upset if she uses it after we told her our name, only because of the problems she gave us last time and we didn't use "her" name. We plan to use it anyway, though, if this baby is a boy.

Mrs MacRo · November 2013

My SIL straight up stole our boy name. Blatantly and obviously. As in she asked me what i would name a boy in the future and then used it 6 months later. Except she spelt it wrong (ugh). I was pissed at the time but I wasn't pregnant etc and now I am kind of over it as all of the Lachlan's I know now are little shits so the name has been ruined lol. (Ok not ALL but most)

MollySm · November 2013

I'd just use it anyway and not worry about. Unless you live in the same house, I don't think having the same name is that big of a deal.

SamMills · November 2013

This is exactly why we chose a very different name for our DS and didn't tell anyone! (Ps his name is Karwin)

I told a sister we were set on the name kinley if we had a girl. A few months later she tells me oh if we have another girl were naming her Linley... Seriously? Ugh!! So we have changed the name and aren't telling anyone it this time!

SecondTimeinMSU · November 2013

Try not to stress at this point. The odds that she and you both will having boys is only 25%. It might all become a moot point so try not to let her get to you at this point.

jckeown89 · November 2013

Well...being mad most likely won't change their name choice! maybe they will have a girl instead. ;-) Regardless, if you are set on your name, keep it! Just try not to be spiteful that they love the same name too! It just means you picked a good one. I certainly understand the frustration though!

Pepper6 · November 2013

Also, the only people I wouldn't want to share names with are our siblings' kids. Luckily, my sisters and I don't really have the same naming style, and if I told them a name and they did like it, they still wouldn't use it.

Anyone else, I don't particularly care because the chances of my kid growing up very closely with them, or having that relationship affect them into adulthood is pretty slim. I mean, my mom and one of her good friends back in the day used the same name for me and her friend's daughter...I've never even met the other woman. If my mom had decided to change my name because she had a friend using it too, it would have been kind of stupid because in the long run, it's made zero difference.

FutureMrsW9 · November 2013

My SIL stole my boy name, but in fairness she didn't know it was my boy name and DH and I weren't even married yet. It wasn't an end-all-be-all name like my girl name is, so I'm fine with changing it if we have a boy. That said, if this is a name that you LOVE and have been obsessed with for years and you do both have boys, I would just be straight up with them and let them know that they knew it was also your boy name and you're still planning to use it if you have a boy. F*ck people who pull that crap! I have no tolerance for a**holes. Also, it's a cousin, it's not like it's a sibling, so I really don't think it's a big deal for them to have the same name. This is why we're not sharing names until baby is born.

bluebabyg1 · November 2013

This happened to me, I told my girl name to my 16 year old male nephew. He asked, If you guys were to have a girl what name do you like.... two weeks later he announced he was having a baby with someone and it was a girl and MY NAME would be used. I am okay with it now. But I was so upset, I feel like he tricked me into it. And honestly it was probably just his way of getting some sort of approval for such a young unplanned pregnancy, but what a way to go about it!

flerlgirl · November 2013

I want to sit here and say, "Oh, names are no one's property." But if I were you I would be ticked. It took us a while to come up with DS' name and while it isn't exactly unique (Joshua Michael), I would have been sad if someone used it knowing I was planning to use it. That being said, don't let it eat you up too much!

Jennylou0604 · November 2013

The same thing almost happened to me and yes I'd be furious! I'm anal when it comes to names. When I was preggo with my DS we had a name discussion at my Granny's house. I said we were in love with Grady, Graham, and Grant. My cousin, whom I know for a fact heard because she responded "Oh those are all such cute names!", got pregnant with her second son shortly after I delivered my first (FYI: we ended up naming our first Grady, but I had said to my cousins ON PURPOSE that if I ever had a second son it would be Graham or Grant). So, when my cousin found out she was having another boy the name discussion came up again. "Congrat's, what's his name going to be?!" My cousin: "Well, we LOVE the name Graham!" OMG, I looked at my husband and had to give her a fake smile and walk outside. I was PISSED! Thankfully she ended up naming hers Luke. Still, I couldn't believe that Graham was even an option and we are close so we see each other often and live in the same city; having the same name is a big no no in my eyes. Good luck to you! I know how you feel

brower10 · November 2013

I have to say I've been so annoyed with friends "calling names". Some of my family and friends flat out said "we are gonna name our future kids-----" when I told them we were expecting. And no, none of them are pregnant. It's just annoying to try to pick names like this. I've jus started stopping them and saying not to tell me because we are narrowing it down and I don't want people thinking I've stole their name. Anyone else running into this problem??

nunzchucks · November 2013

flerlgirl said:

I want to sit here and say, "Oh, names are no one's property." But if I were you I would be ticked. It took us a while to come up with DS' name and while it isn't exactly unique (Joshua Michael), I would have been sad if someone used it knowing I was planning to use it. That being said, don't let it eat you up too much!

This is exactly how I feel. I'd be annoyed, but know I shouldn't really be annoyed.

lifeisbetteronthered · November 2013

I've stopped asking others about their name choices and telling ours. My family all has similar name tastes it seems, and all of our kids see a lot of each other so I wouldn't want to name my baby anything similar to them.

By not knowing their choices, if we happen to use it (which we did in the case of DD NN), no one was wondering if we "stole" the name. In fact my cousin was happy that there was finally a little "Ella" in our family. After 3 boys, she has accepted the fact that she won't be having a daughter. Of my list of boys names, 5 have been used by my cousins for FN. Oh well.

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People stealing your baby names...

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