GTKY! A13's Worst In-laws

Revez · November 2013

RoosterMemphis said:

Zever000 said:

RoosterMemphis said:
i hit the jackpot. my inlaws died 35 years ago
@RoosterMemphis I want to love this, but it feels wrong. Just know that some days I am very, very jealous of you.

while that part is easy, i have an absolute nightmare situation with my own family. the craziness is so awful that its just super sad.

@RoosterMemphis I'm sorry. I've got a shitty family too. It's so awesome...

/:)

Texasmomma13 · November 2013

I could probably write a novel but I don't have the time. I give you a brief synopsis. MIL is British (we've already heard how BSC other British MILs are). She lives right around the corner in a house we bought for her. She used to be very successful but has lost all of her money and is basically destitute. So, she acts like rich snooty bitch but in fact, is not. She's conniving and manipulative. She pulls guilt trips on DH all the damn time. She has parkinson's and uses it as an excuse for everything she does wrong. Um, no your Parkinson's doesn't force you to call me 10 times a day while I'm at home dealing with a sick newborn. This was right after we got home from DD's first stint in children's hospital. She claims I don't make her feel included but she gets invited to every function we have and all of MY family's functions as well, since she's the only one who lives. I can't let her have an open invite to come over because she would literally be here every day. She's done it before. She thinks anytime my mother, who lives 200 miles away, comes to visit she must be here too, even though she sees DD on a regular basis. The one time I let her watch DD alone she damn near let her sweat to death (you've all heard that story). She now has supervised visits with her only. She tries to insert herself on our exercursions. She recently tried to come along to a Halloween party when we stopped by her house on the way to let her see DD's costume. We pulled up and she comes out the door with her handbag like she's going with us. I stopped that shit before she could get off her front porch. She told DH our plans must not have been clear. NO BITCH! I never said you were coming. BTW, it was my idea to let her see the costume, but I'm still a bitch according to her.
Basically, I hate her. She constantly makes my life a living hell. I swear if DH and I don't make it, it will be because she has torn us apart. She's doing a damn good job so far. I wish I could trade her for FIL, who lives in England. He's wonderful.

TurtleMomma · November 2013

When DH and I were TTC we mentioned it offhandedly to MIL and she called DH every week thereafter to see if we were PG yet. We were struggling, too, so every week was a slap to the face. Eventually I took her aside and told her to knock that shit off, and yeah, I was a bit rude but DH had my back. Ironically, she didn't call the next week and that was when we got our BFP.

Also, when LO was born he had to go to the NICU. DH and I decided to wait to do our FB announcement until we were home from the hospital. We had called our family immediately after he was born, so it's not like we were keeping it from them. Well, DH gets a txt from his oldest sister asking when we were gonna FB announce. He explains why we're waiting. She snaps at him and says that we were selfish for not announcing yet and that we were dampening her joy. She also had the gall to ask if my family was being held to the same standards or was it just H's family.

I was so mad I was shaking. DH had to literally take the phone out of my hands because I was set to go BSC on her (and when I go BSC, it gets UGLY). Fourteen weeks later and I have not said a single word to her. Don't plan to anytime soon. She lives out of state so we rarely see her, thankfully. Were it not for my nieces, I would be content to never see her again.

Lorjo2022 · November 2013

Everytime my MIL calls she says she wants to see HER baby. One, I did not conceive a child with you. Two, you did not birth a child recently.. Therefore, LO isn't YOUR baby.
After LO was born and we had been home less than a week, MIL had called everyday to see if she could come see him (mind you she was at the hospital everyday for three days while we were there). We kept telling her no because we were trying to do our own thing and get settled in and she called DH crying and saying 'she's not going to do this anymore and she wants to see LO right now.' And that she feels like she 'hasn't bonded with LO.' AGAIN, LO is not YOUR baby! I'm not worried about him bonding with you when he's less than a week old.
Two and a half months later, MIL and FIL see LO at least once every week.. And yet she tells my uncle that she "doesn't get to see LO that often and that she's waiting for things to "settle down" before she starts to see him more."
She's crazy. And she's lucky she gets to see him every week because it's not going to be anymore than that!

ELauren88 · November 2013

Most of you remember some of my awesome MIL stories, however, I'll just share this new one.
Last night MIL referred to herself as "momma" to LO. I flipped shit, and MH had to basically push me out of their house while he got MY baby because I was so pissed.

starshower22 · November 2013

ashleyamberRN said:
Compared to you all I'm very lucky. I really didn't use to like MIL and I think her feeling was mutual but over the past 2 years she's really improved but I do have a good story of her bringing me to tears at my own wedding.

So DH and I paid for our wedding ourselves, almost every penny, it was a pretty decent size (about 120) and about 6 people were MIL's friends from her church. I thought this was a nice gesture since her pastor was the one marrying us. So we see this guy after the ceremony when we're taking pics that DH nor I had ever seen in our lives. Well apparently MIL took it upon herself to invite someone else from church. When she asked at the beginning of the reception if he could stay, I said no, there were already extra people who came (people from there family brought a few extras that they didn't RSVP for, or even were supposed to, like extra "plus 1's" that they weren't even supposed to have) and she went on that it's fine because she saw an empty spot at another table. Well you can't even count that because there family didn't sit where I placed them and they made the tables un even. I specifically said no, and then said "fine but if I get a bill I'm gonna be mad" and she went off! She yelled at me and was like "well if you're gonna act like that then if you get a bill I'll pay for it!" Luckily right then DH stepped in and basically told her to shut up and she stormed off. Mind you, this was right at the top of our head table front and center for everyone in the reception to see.

Wow. Don't you just love how they act like your wedding is their event??! My MIL acted the same way. DH & I paid for most of our wedding and my parents helped a little. We were limiting the number of guests so we could stay on budget. Every day MIL would call with some new random friend of here that she wanted us to invite. DH & I told her no, we had already met our limit so that witch just told people to show up at the wedding. There were about 15 people that neither DH or I invited. And if that wasn't enough MIL brought one of her uninvited friends into the bridal suite so they could get ready while I was in there getting dressed. Fuck no bitch! I told her she needed to get ready somewhere else, to which of course she threw a fit and proceeded to talk shit about me to her friend like I couldn't hear her. Yeah. Good times.

Michelle N · November 2013

Wow! You guys put up with a lot of crap! My biggest problem with the ILs was how they favour BIL over DH.. I guess it's because BIL is really immature and needs them more. BIL is 2 years older, but gets everything handed to him. We did our wedding in my hometown, 9 hours away from where I live now. MIL paid for BIL and BIL's trashy then-gf to fly to our wedding, paid for their hotel room, paid for her hair, manicure, pedicure, etc., and paid nothing for us. I even had to borrow money from her to pay for my mani because the cake lady showed up early to get $, that was all I had. BIL's douche-y ex is also ridiculously rich, while DH and I are not. So we drove the 9 hours to my wedding AND had to drive over an hour to pick up BIL and spoiled bitch from the airport.

ELauren88 · November 2013

dani_brewer said:
@ELauren88 Holy Shit! Your MIL must have a few screws loose to call herself mamma to your child.

@dani_brewer yea, it actually took me a second to comprehend what she had said. I seriously almost hit her. Like, how DARE she. This is MY child, what makes you think you have ANY claim to her??

Revez · November 2013

At the very least, we all know how not to be shit when our kids get married.

LilMissScareAll · November 2013

ELauren88 said:

Most of you remember some of my awesome MIL stories, however, I'll just share this new one. Last night MIL referred to herself as "momma" to LO. I flipped shit, and MH had to basically push me out of their house while he got MY baby because I was so pissed.

DH's grandmother keeps trying this. I HATE it. DH & his brothers call her that which is great for them . She's the one who raised them but I am going to be raising my child therefore I am the mama. Both her & his mother are always referring to LO as their [insert term of affection] 'my love' 'my Angel' 'my baby'. I am constantly biting my tongue and gritting my teeth.

She got him an outfit that says 'Mama's boy' and I have purposely never put it on him if I think she'll be around. She keeps telling DH that she wants a picture of him in it but I keep 'forgetting' Its NB size so I'm hoping he outgrown it.

MynaBird · November 2013

OK, so after reading all of this... I feel super lucky to have manageable in-laws. They're really well-meaning, just sensitive and kind of self-centered. They divorced when their kids were in college, and they both kind of went through a second adolescence. That's still going on 15 years later.

They were really at their worst when the baby was born. My father-in-law posted photos of our baby on Facebook less than an hour after she was born. Seriously, I was still being stitched up. And then his feelings were hurt because we told him it was out of line. And my mother-in-law called at 8 a.m. the day after the baby was born (I delivered at 11 p.m. following 25 hours of labor, after which I hemorrhaged severely and had to undergo emergency treatment until 5 a.m.) wanting to know when she could come visit, then showed up in our room, saw the baby's name (first name is from my mother's family and middle name is from my father-in-law's family), and announced that she was going to tell people we had picked an "R" name for the baby because her mother's name had started with "R" and we were honoring her mother.

She hated her mother, by the way. Hated her.

On the other hand, neither of them is addicted to drugs, neither has ever stolen either of our identities, and they both love me and the baby. So I'm counting my blessings.

ashleyamberRN · November 2013

@starshower22 in what universe is it ok to invite people to other peoples wedding?! MIL has even said recently that she has a reputation for ruining peoples big events so she kept saying that she was consciously being on her best behavior for my baby shower, which was annoying in itself... And would you believe she invited some of her friends?! But of course a baby shower is not very head count dependent like a wedding. She has improved some in the 9 years we been together but she still has a long way to go.

Eta: accidentally hit post too soon

tdmklm · November 2013

These in-law stories... Wow.

MIL and I have had our moments. Last summer, when we told her we were expecting, she asked whether that was a good idea. No, it was an accident, MIL. I slipped and fell on some sperm. We lost the baby a few days later. I hope she felt like crap.

As others have said, though, no one has stolen our identities. Just wow. And I think we've gotten to a better place now, MIL and I, partly because K knows to stand up for me/us or I will, and it won't be pretty.

DW could regale you, too. My parents are BSC.

livkight · December 2013

My hub and I have been visiting my in-laws this week, and they're the first family we've seen since we broke the news to immediate family over the phone. To sum it up, our visit has been terrible. Whenever we try to bring up something about OUR baby, they try to talk over us about my mother-in-law's pregnancies. She had three boys, and the way they tell it, she had perfect, symptomless pregnancies. These comments always come after I say that I'm tired or hungry. They even interrupted something I was telling them about the first night we were here to say that they've been thinking about having another baby (they're in their late 40s) and asked wouldn't that be fun? Hub and I were speechless.

They've not only ignored us when we told them the names we're thinking of, they openly mocked them and latched onto ways to ridicule them, even though they're very classic names. Today they were pressuring us to go on a family trip with them in the mountains next summer (not accessible to a hospital in less than an hour) two weeks before my due date. My MiL also pulled me aside today and said we should reconsider one of our girl names because it's too close to "vagina" (really, "violet" sounds like "vagina"??). I'm at the end of my rope. I feel drained and defeated and I just want to go home. Every conversation is a battle, and it seems it's their way or the highway when it comes to their views on pregnancy and parenting.

So far, having in laws has been just as bad as I feared it would be.

Kebert618 · December 2013

Is it sad I'm choosing to sit here and read these at 4 am rather than going back to bed?
Mine can get on my nerves but don't even compare to what you ladies put up with! Granted I'm only 2.5 years into marriage- still time for things to happen!

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