GTKY: Parenting Choices

CNJ4EVA · November 2013

I'm sure that most of you, like myself, had some ideas about how you wanted to parent before LO('s) came along. I'm also sure that the game plan inevitably changed once LO('s) arrived. Here's a few questions in that regard.

Name something you originally said you wouldn't, but that you now do.

Name something that you said you wouldn't do and have stuck to so far.

Name something you said you would do but haven't.

Name something you said you would do and actually did.

At what age do you plan to (or did you for those with older LO's):

Have LO start doing chores?

Put a TV in LO's room?

Give LO an allowance?

Allow sleepovers with friends?

CNJ4EVA · November 2013

I'm sure that most of you, like myself, had some ideas about how you wanted to parent before LO('s) came along. I'm also sure that the game plan inevitably changed once LO('s) arrived. Here's a few questions in that regard.

Name something you originally said you wouldn't, but that you now do.
Use a pacifier.

Name something that you said you wouldn't do and have stuck to so far.
Bedshare. (Disclaimer, no judgment towards bedsharers, just something DH and I decided wasn't for us.)

Name something you said you would do but haven't.
Read to LO often.

Name something you said you would do and actually did.
Keep up on filling out baby book.

At what age do you plan to (or did you for those with older LO's):

Have LO start doing chores?
As soon as she can understand the concept of putting her toys away.
Put a TV in LO's room?
As yet undecided, but probably no younger than 7.
Give LO an allowance?
Will be based on her maturity level. Probably around age 7 or so, but will see how things go.
Allow sleepovers with friends?
I started having sleepovers pretty much when I started school. I loved it and hope the same for LO. I'm okay with starting as early as kindergarten.

Oohgurl · November 2013

Name something you originally said you wouldn't, but that you now do.
Be such a helicopter parent. I won't let anyone babysit him!

Name something that you said you wouldn't do and have stuck to so far.
CIO- I will do it if it ever becomes necessary but it hasn't so far.

Name something you said you would do but haven't.
Make his baby food.

Name something you said you would do and actually did.
Breastfeed for at least 4 months.

At what age do you plan to (or did you for those with older LO's):

Have LO start doing chores?

I am not sure. He will pick up his toys as soon as he learns the concept.

Put a TV in LO's room?
I will not do this until he is a teenager.

Give LO an allowance?

Maybe 10?

Allow sleepovers with friends?

Probably 7 or so.

Boo0512 · November 2013

Name something you originally said you wouldn't, but that you now do:

let LO watch tv, sometimes it's the only thing that will distract her so I can get some cleaning done!

Name something that you said you wouldn't do and have stuck to so far:

Co-sleeping, she has been in her crib since she came home.

Name something you said you would do but haven't:

Make baby food, read to her every day.

Name something you said you would do and actually did:

Breastfeed for minimum 6 months, we are almost there and going strong!

Have LO start doing chores? Age 3, very basic of course, picking up/putting away her toys. More advanced probably age 7.

Put a TV in LO's room? Never, I didn't have one growing up and it was a good thing.

Give LO an allowance? Age 7.

Allow sleepovers with friends? Probably age 5 or so with cousins to start.

emmy236 · November 2013

Name something you originally said you wouldn't, but that you now do.
-CIO. I'm a Ferber groupie now

Name something that you said you wouldn't do and have stuck to so far.
-Just small things like I'm good at making sure he wears real clothes during the day, not PJs or just a onesie. I also didn't want to be one of those "crazy" moms who never leave the house and ban anyone else to hold LO. I made conscious efforts to get out and socialize and let others hold him and I really think it helped both of us.

Name something you said you would do but haven't.
-document every little thing.

Name something you said you would do and actually did.
-kept up with breast feeding/pumping and making all my own baby food.

At what age do you plan to (or did you for those with older LO's):

Have LO start doing chores? Same PP once they are old enough to understand and put toys away.

Put a TV in LO's room?
10-12? Probably when he starts to be a bratty tween and I want to keep him in his room.

Give LO an allowance?
Honestly like 4. Probably not like a $5 a week thing but more like if he's good at the store be like "ok you have $5 do you want 1 $5 item or a few smaller ones" kind of thing.

Allow sleepovers with friends?
- he has his first one next Friday. I'm watching our friends 7 month old baby while they're at a wedding. He has cousins his age so he'll be having those all the time. After that it depends on the parents and kid. If the kid is obnoxious and/or the parents have ridiculous instructions I'll hold off.

coffeeandbooks · November 2013

Name something you originally said you wouldn't, but that you now do.

Letting LO cry down sometimes to sleep . (backstory: right after I gave birth my parents started to tell me that I had to let LO cry. My mom even said it was good for him to cry, that he had to get out his emotions. I remember thinking my mom was like a self-soothing nazi. Fast forward five months and many sleepless nights and suddenly it doesn't sound so wacky. I still disagree but it is no longer totally ridiculous to me.)

And my other one was using a swing. I was adamantly anti-swing before I gave birth, but I finally got one and use it often.

Name something that you said you wouldn't do and have stuck to so far.

Cluttering our house with baby stuff. I am not a fan of being overwhelmed by kids stuff when you enter someone's house, so far we are good at having just certain spots in the house designated for LO's toys and stuff.

Name something you said you would do but haven't.

Take LO out often by myself. I thought I would be hanging with LO in coffee shops and chilling around town together as a pair...but LO has been a car hater and so I usually have to wait for my husband so I can sit in the back seat with LO.

Name something you said you would do and actually did.
I use the carrier often. I love babywearing and anticipated that I would.

At what age do you plan to (or did you for those with older LO's):

Have LO start doing chores? 3 ( just little ones to help contribute to the household.)

Put a TV in LO's room? maybe never

Give LO an allowance? 5

Allow sleepovers with friends? ( I really have no idea on this one.)

JoJo716 · November 2013

Name something you originally said you wouldn't, but that you now do. Co-sleep. I was allll about him sleeping in his own room, needing the video monitor, nice crib, etc, etc. Name something that you said you wouldn't do and have stuck to so far. Putting ds in daycare. Not because of issues with daycare (I was in daycare) but more so to conserve costs. DH and I switch schedules as he works nights. However, sometimes it can be stressful making sure he is home on time. Name something you said you would do but haven't. CIO- I am too chicken, plus he goes to sleep at night really easily. Name something you said you would do and actually did. Nurse. I really wanted too and I am so lucky we have been successful. There were a lot of times I have thought about quitting. Most recently: teeth. At what age do you plan to (or did you for those with older LO's): Have LO start doing chores? I will start them off young, even doing really small things. Even though he is not really doing anything, I try to include ds when I do things just so it becomes habit. Put a TV in LO's room? Dh and I always are about this. I say never. Give LO an allowance? 5-6 and it will be based on chores and activities. Allow sleepovers with friends? Really not sure. With close friends of ours, maybe around 7. School friends...I will have to see how I feel when the time comes.

snowgirl427 · November 2013

Name something you originally said you wouldn't, but that you now do.
Pacifier, what a godsend it is lol. Television. It's not everyday but we enjoy an episode of doc mcstuffins every now and again.

Name something that you said you wouldn't do and have stuck to so far.
CIO

Name something you said you would do but haven't. The baby book which makes me sad.

Name something you said you would do and actually did.
EBF

At what age do you plan to (or did you for those with older LO's):

Have LO start doing chores? Probably around 3 or 4. Small things like pick up toys etc.

Put a TV in LO's room? No idea. Probably not until at least 10.

Give LO an allowance? Pretty early. As soon as he starts to understand money and can "earn" it. It will be small. We will also introduce the concepts of saving and giving at the same time.

Allow sleepovers with friends?
This is a hard one. I honestly don't have any idea. There are way too many factors.

brandi3207 · November 2013

Name something you originally said you wouldn't, but that you now do.
Bedshare, I was scared about rolling over on the baby. I only do it on weekends to catch some extra zzz. I sleep much lighter when lo is next to me. Falling asleep while holding ds. I assumed I would drop him. I can fall asleep on the couch while holding him just fine.

Name something that you said you wouldn't do and have stuck to so far.
I will always call him by his full name. I have yet to call him by a nickname. If my family tries to use a nickname I correct them. I love his name.

Name something you said you would do but haven't.
I thought I would be comfortable letting my older cousins babysit. So far I only feel comfortable letting my parents and sister babysit.

Name something you said you would do and actually did.
Co-sleep until 6 months. Lo will be 6 months at the end of nov and I plan to move him into his nursery.

At what age do you plan to (or did you for those with older LO's):

Have LO start doing chores?
At age two I want lo to be able to help clean up toys. At 3 or 4 making bed and keeping his room relatively clean. At 5 maybe have small regular household chores.

Put a TV in LO's room?
High school age if he asks for one. I had a small tv that I would watch before bed.

Give LO an allowance?
Prob around 5 when he starts to help with household chores.

Allow sleepovers with friends?
School age or a little earlier with cousins.

Shoegal36 · November 2013

Name something you originally said you wouldn't, but that you now do.

I said I wouldn't do any type of CIO or sleep training until at least 6 months, if at all. We have tried some. It hasn't been successful but we aren't really consistent.

Name something that you said you wouldn't do and have stuck to so far.

Go for drives for the sole purpose of making LO go to sleep. It's oh so tempting because it puts her to sleep so easily but it's not something I want to get into the habit of doing and I don't want to waste gas.

Name something you said you would do but haven't.

Take LO to visit my grandmother often. I really, really need to start going more.

Name something you said you would do and actually did.

EBF for at least 6 months. (2 weeks to go!)

At what age do you plan to (or did you for those with older LO's):

Have LO start doing chores?

When they are old enough to understand but I plan to teach them to pick up their toys right from the get go.

Put a TV in LO's room?

Maybe high school? That's when I got one.

Give LO an allowance?

When they are old enough to do chores to earn an allowance.

Allow sleepovers with friends?

Not sure about this one. I'll have to wait and see. I guess it would depend how close of a friend it is and if I have met the parents.

MrsM1111 · November 2013

Name something you originally said you wouldn't, but that you now do.

*bed-share

Name something that you said you wouldn't do and have stuck to so far.

*no TV (other than the I occasional glance)
*no CIO

Name something you said you would do but haven't.

*out of our room by 3mo (she is still in our bed every night and her crib is still a hamper)
*speak to her in French everyday and begin sign language early one (we sing in French and I tell her French words, but not talking to her in French yet and no sign language period)

Name something you said you would do and actually did.

*EBF
*read everyday

At what age do you plan to (or did you for those with older LO's):

Have LO start doing chores?

*As early as she can understand

Put a TV in LO's room?

*when she can buy one for herself (hopefully not ever)

Give LO an allowance?

*As early as she can understand

Allow sleepovers with friends?

*probably with cousins by age 5 and friends around 7...

c-elizabethf · November 2013

CNJ4EVA said:
I'm sure that most of you, like myself, had some ideas about how you wanted to parent before LO('s) came along. I'm also sure that the game plan inevitably changed once LO('s) arrived. Here's a few questions in that regard.

Name something you originally said you wouldn't, but that you now do.
Use a pacifier.

Name something that you said you wouldn't do and have stuck to so far.
Bedshare. (Disclaimer, no judgment towards bedsharers, just something DH and I decided wasn't for us.)

Name something you said you would do but haven't.
Read to LO often.

Name something you said you would do and actually did.
Keep up on filling out baby book.

At what age do you plan to (or did you for those with older LO's):

Have LO start doing chores?
As soon as she can understand the concept of putting her toys away.
Put a TV in LO's room?
As yet undecided, but probably no younger than 7.
Give LO an allowance?
Will be based on her maturity level. Probably around age 7 or so, but will see how things go.
Allow sleepovers with friends?
I started having sleepovers pretty much when I started school. I loved it and hope the same for LO. I'm okay with starting as early as kindergarten.

All of this except the tv...I will wait until she is older like junior high or something.

michelle04us · November 2013

Name something you originally said you wouldn't, but that you now do.
Use the CIO method. However, it wasn't really by choice. My oldest was a very colicky baby and if I wanted any insanity whatsoever I had to leave him cry in a safe place. I know many a night where I myself would cry all night with him.

Name something that you said you wouldn't do and have stuck to so far.
Can't really think of anything

Name something you said you would do but haven't.
again not sure

At what age do you plan to (or did you for those with older LO's):

Have LO start doing chores?
Like PP, I started when he was able to help pick up his toys. At 7 1/2yo now he has to take trash to the garage whenever it gets full, once a week sweep the kitchen floor and whenever his hamper gets full bring his dirty laundry up to be washed(older kids bedrooms are in basement) then fold and put away when clean.
Put a TV in LO's room?
I won't. I grew up without one in my room. We do however have a tv in the playroom right outside their bedrooms so on special occasions they have a little "sleepover" in the playroom and watch movies and eat popcorn.
Give LO an allowance?
We are actually debating this right now. At our house neither child gets an allowance. His daughter does at her moms tho. We are thinking about starting a discipline/reward chart where if they get enough points during the week by being good. They will get a certain dollar amount for their age. Like my 7yo would be only a $1 but his daughter being 10 might be $2.
Allow sleepovers with friends?

DS1 actually just started this. Not because I wouldn't allow it but because circumstances always seemed to push it back.

kmcd23 · November 2013

Name something you originally said you wouldn't, but that you now do.
Use a pacifier. But once I found out it is associated with reduced risk of SIDS, and we'd established BF'ing, I popped one of those suckers in.

Also, bedsharing, but by accident. Once the pain of BF'ing (finally) went away, I started falling asleep nursing him. Then once we mastered side lying nursing, it became a nightly thing after MOTNs. I'm trying to break it though, because I still don't feel totally safe with it.

Name something that you said you wouldn't do and have stuck to so far.
CIO.

Buy everything. I bought more than I planned, but I never got a bouncy seat, and we still don't have a jumperoo or exersaucer. I did order a swing in the middle of the night during the first week though.
No solids before six months.

Name something you said you would do but haven't.
Take a picture every day for the first year. And I blame my stupid phone for always running out of space. (A problem I have since solved.)

Name something you said you would do and actually did.
BF until at least six months, hopefully a year. Going strong still.

Room share until six months. And I don't see that changing anytime soon.

Wear him. It took me longer than I expected to get comfortable with it, but I wear him every day now for as long as my back and his mood allows.

At what age do you plan to (or did you for those with older LO's):

Have LO start doing chores?
He already helps me fold laundry. :-P

Really though, as soon as he understands the concepts. Moneysavingmom.com has a great series on age appropriate chores for toddlers.

Put a TV in LO's room?
Hopefully never. We recently took it out of our room, because G was always looking for it, and H will watch it all night long if given the chance. I think life is better without it in there, so I'm hoping to follow this for G, too. But I might have one that's not hooked up to use for movies when he's home sick, etc.

Give LO an allowance?

Probably about 5. At that age, I started doing chores with my gramps for money, and making monthly trips to make deposits in my savings account.

Allow sleepovers with friends?

No idea. Do boys do sleepovers? lol

flyliceandcoffee · November 2013

Name something you originally said you wouldn't, but that you now do.
Sleep training. Yep, totally caved on that, but I'm glad I did.
Television. We didn't want S to watch tv...that didn't last either. She only watches sports and the news though.

Name something that you said you wouldn't do and have stuck to so far.
Bed share.
No phones, etc. We have the tv on, but she doesn't get to watch the tablet, computer or phone.

Name something you said you would do but haven't.
Skype once a week with my parents.

Name something you said you would do and actually did.
BF for 6 months (woohoo!)
Make food for S

At what age do you plan to (or did you for those with older LO's):

Have LO start doing chores?
When she's able to comprehend what she's doing and why

Put a TV in LO's room?
If we leave it up to me, I say never, DH might disagree though

Give LO an allowance?
Not sure, maybe when she starts doing chores?

Allow sleepovers with friends?
I have absolutely no idea?

Lolalipsy · November 2013

Name something you originally said you wouldn't, but that you now do.

Bedshare and let LO watch TV whilst I get a couple of chores done.

Name something that you said you wouldn't do and have stuck to so far.

CIO.

Name something you said you would do but haven't.

Make all homemade food. I do sometimes buy the organic 100% fruit purées.

Name something you said you would do and actually did.

BF. It was hard but 6 months in (almost) we're still going strong.

At what age do you plan to (or did you for those with older LO's):
Have LO start doing chores?
As soon as they are able to understand.

Put a TV in LO's room?
Teenager. I dislike the idea of not watching tv as a family and learning to compromise on tv programmes.

Give LO an allowance?
Probably about 7'ish. Whenever they understand really.

Allow sleepovers with friends?
Happy to have them here but as for her sleeping out, I'm not confirm able with that. I dare say if she really wanted to I couldn't say no. 8 years old would be the youngest I would consider it.

john5111 · November 2013

Name something you originally said you wouldn't, but that you now do.

Said Id never take him to a big sporting event place with tons of people, we did when he was only a few months old.

Name something that you said you wouldn't do and have stuck to so far.

let him sleep anywhere but his crib at night from day 1.

Name something you said you would do but haven't.
Speak to him in Spanish..baby sign language

Name something you said you would do and actually did.

BF and pumped so hed have enough for 6 months..still does. Made him baby food.

At what age do you plan to (or did you for those with older LO's):
Have LO start doing chores?
As soon as they are able to understand.

Put a TV in LO's room?
Teenager.

Give LO an allowance?
Not sure I never really had an allowance growing up.

Allow sleepovers with friends?
prob school aged

SpanFran · November 2013

Name something you originally said you wouldn't, but that you now do.

Co-sleep! DS is in his crib now, but we co-slept for the first 3 months. I was so sure my darling snowflake prince baby boy would be a champion sleeper from the day we brought him home, and he would learn to sleep on his own ASAP because he was just that smart. It took about a week before I had my first real meltdown, and co-sleeping was the solution.

Name something that you said you wouldn't do and have stuck to so far.

Argue with DH in front of him. Not that we fight all the time or anything, but when we do disagree, DH likes to yammer on and I don't like his tone of voice. I won't allow it in front of DS.

Name something you said you would do but haven't.

Breastfeed until at least 6 months. Made it to 3, then was bitten by mastitis. Not an excuse, but I do wish I'd have dealt with that differently.

Name something you said you would do and actually did.

Read to DS several times a day, every day.

At what age do you plan to (or did you for those with older LO's):

Have LO start doing chores?

When he's old enough to grasp the concept. I don't know when that will be? Three maybe for toys and such.

Put a TV in LO's room?

Oh so hard to say. I know the right thing to say is NEVER, no TV for my snowflake. But truth be told I had a TV from when I was super young, I loved it. But I also really loved books and playing outside and making messes and all the normal stuff.

Give LO an allowance?

When he starts doing chores. It'll just go in his piggy bank, but if we're at the store and he wants something, ideally we'd have a limit and he'd be able to choose within that limit.

Allow sleepovers with friends?

When he's old enough to communicate what he wants.

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