Baby Showers
cakergirl
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In theory a good idea, but in reality, probably not?
cakergirl
member
in Baby Showers
I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this. And it's verrry premature to even ask since I'm not even out of the first trimester, and we haven't told a single person other than my BFF.... just need some logical opinions. Assuming someone throws us a shower.
Would it be odd/rude/annoying/poor etiquette to wait until the shower to tell people the sex of the baby? I am NOT referring to like some separate party to "reveal" or some crazy elaborate balloon ceremony or cake cutting ordeal... I literally just mean keeping it under wraps that we even found out the sex, then telling everyone at the shower. Or maybe even a week or so after the shower.
I'm really not even sure what my point of doing this would be except that I know both our families are the type to buy a million things and buy something every time they are at the store and say "oh look what I found for the baby!" and I just thought maybe the longer they didn't know the actual sex/name etc would cut down on this. I doubt it, but just hoping to cut down on the inundation with "stuff" throughout the pregnancy. I could care less about getting a lot of on color (pink, blue etc) that's not the point.. We aren't even telling our families till after the holidays out of fear we will be bombarded with baby stuff even though anything an happen in first trimester. Really wouldn't want to deal with that if we had another loss.
But back to the sex thing. I definitely wouldn't want it to come across as some attention grabbing scheme that we were keeping it "a secret" in order to be all dramatic. (I'm not referring to team green people- I think that's perfectly cool!). We WANT to find out the sex. Just maybe hold off on telling everyone else for a while.
So in summary-- would you A) just tell people and get it over with- no body cares and they will buy you stuff regardless 
tell at the shower, its not a bad idea as long as its not some big planned ordeal C) wait til after the shower then tell, so it doesn't seem like you are trying to be all "dramatic" (but actually kinda lame) at the shower D) if you are going to wait just it til its born, its silly to bother keeping it a secret If you are going to spill the beans before the baby actually comes anyway- nobody cares.
Sorry for the long post! Just curious. I kinda wanna do option B or C but feel like it might be kinda lame and attention-grabby. Plus there would be a possibility we would have multiple showers- which would make it super tricky and basically mean option B is off the table anyway
tell at the shower, its not a bad idea as long as its not some big planned ordeal C) wait til after the shower then tell, so it doesn't seem like you are trying to be all "dramatic" (but actually kinda lame) at the shower D) if you are going to wait just it til its born, its silly to bother keeping it a secret If you are going to spill the beans before the baby actually comes anyway- nobody cares.
Sorry for the long post! Just curious. I kinda wanna do option B or C but feel like it might be kinda lame and attention-grabby. Plus there would be a possibility we would have multiple showers- which would make it super tricky and basically mean option B is off the table anyway
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Re: In theory a good idea, but in reality, probably not?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I'm with PP, it seems really snotty to tell people that you aren't telling when they ask.
"Oh, I/we know but I'm/we're not telling" is one of those sentences that makes me roll my eyes. Hard. I think either tell people when you find out/when they ask (before the shower) or either be Team Green or tell people you don't know. I'm a horrible liar, so the latter of those would be out for me. Also, you probably won't do at least part of your registry until you hit about 20 weeks because stock in places like Babies 'R' Us and Target changes pretty rapidly, so if you find out, you're going to be registering with the sex in mind. Likewise, sometimes people want to know what your nursery theme is, and if you're doing any sort of more sex specific stuff instead of gender neutral (and there's nothing wrong with either), then people are going to learn about that.
As a PP said, I'll pick out gender/sex neutral stuff all day long if you're not finding out or really not telling until the birth (that's an option, however, if you do that, then only you and your H should know, only telling some people is a recipe for disaster), but if I found out later that you knew and were waiting to tell, I'd kick myself over something super-cute I could have gotten you if I knew. Also, I personally am not a big fan of yellow or green or woodland animals (these seem to be the top gender neutral colors/patterns), so I'll reveal because I don't want a bunch of that around.
I think calling/telling people en masse after the shower is the worst, if you're telling. It's one thing to do it at the shower, while I wouldn't do it, I've seen it done, but generally people know that you're going to reveal at the shower beforehand. But to make a huge announcement right after the shower seems a little weird. It actually seems more 'dramatic' to make a big deal of announcing the sex after the shower.
Me-31, H-27
**Loss 1-Cycle 7(June 2013) at 5w6d-CP**Loss 2-Cycle 11(October 2013) at 5w4d-CP**
**Loss 3-Cycle 14 (January-February 2014)-M/C dx 2/10, EP dx 2/24, MTX 2/25**
Beta Hell--hCG finally down to 0 - 6/20/14
SA normal. Genetic testing normal. Hormonal testing normal.
HSG 6/30/14 - found blocked left tube and 2 'bubbles' on uterine wall.
Hysteroscopy/Lap--8/4/14 - Tubes unblocked. Polyps removed from uterine wall. Septum removed.
9/30/14--Off the bench! Unmedicated TI through December 2014
BFP 12/14/14!!! Beta #1, 12/16: 990 Beta #2, 12/18: Over 2000! Beta #3, 12/22: over 8000!
U/S #1, 12/23: gestational sac, possible heartbeat
U/S #2, 12/30: HEARTBEAT! 128bpm, measuring right on at 7w EDD: 8/19/2015
U/S #3, 1/9: BPM in the 180s, IT'S HAPPENING!!!