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Update on becoming single

Brittnei11Brittnei11 member
in December 2013 Moms
So today my ex text me an lets it be known he will never be happy with me. An wasn't for awhile. So my response was. Why did you want a baby with me. His response. I didn't know you. Thought I'd be happy with you for the rest of my life. Like wow! But I asked him how he was gonna fill walking away from our baby when he was born. Never said anything back!
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Re: Update on becoming single

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    mh89mh89 member
    I'm still mad that he left you right before your baby is due and you're going to need all the help you can get. What a terrible thing to do. 
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    KeenanshellKeenanshell member
    I can't imagine what you're going through. I know people split up and it's a hard thing to go through at any time but just before bringing your child into the world is even tougher.

    It does sound like you are better off though. At least you know where you stand and can try to accept not to have any expectations from him although I know that's easier said than done.

    Hopefully you have a good family and supportive friends who will be there to help you xx
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    74dragonfly74dragonfly member
    I'm very sorry. Hopefully you Can get child support from him.




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    jokimotojokimoto member
    As hard as this is, it will get better.  I've come to the conclusion from the single parents board and my own experiences thus far, that a half-a** partner is worse than no partner.  I agree with pp in that it is better is happened now instead of later.  That is my opinion of my situation.  My LO will never know any different.  I know there are many wonderful things that come with being a single mom and as daunting as it seems at the moment for me, I keep reminding myself of that.  I wish you luck and send you hugs.  No matter how big of a jerk the guy is, I know it's still hard.
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    thetheisensthetheisens member
    Him leaving you now when you need him most really speaks volumes about his character. I would start now looking into what you need to do to get the ball rolling on child support and any other assistance you might qualify for should you need it once the baby is born. Also, line up a support system for yourself for after the baby is born so that you are not alone and even if he does offer to help afterwards, don't depend on him or expect him to follow through.
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    macadamia03macadamia03 member
    I agree with Loolaide check into the child support laws now. Make sure he is on the birth certificate. Just because he changed his mind about your relationship doesn't mean he can walk away from his responsibilities. What an A-hole.
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    KELLILOVESJOSHKELLILOVESJOSH member
    Yeah I agree with others, I know right now you are just thinking about what a douche he is being but protect yourself and your child be being proactive about the child support issue. Make sure you don't say anything in texts or calls he could use against you and make sure he's on the birth certificate.
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    Amazing450Amazing450 member
    It's better to know now than after you have the baby. I was a single mother for 3 years since the sperm donor wanted no part in my son's life. I then met my husband and he has adopted my son and now we are having another. Everything happens for a reason. Keep your chin up :-)
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    Brittnei11Brittnei11 member
    Thanks y'all! I am starting to check into all that! He text me again this morning saying he will see his son and that I will give him a bottle. Because I was planning to do complete breast feeding for his first 3 or 4 months
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    ChuggingWaterChuggingWater member
    macadamia03 said:

    I agree with Loolaide check into the child support laws now. Make sure he is on the birth certificate. Just because he changed his mind about your relationship doesn't mean he can walk away from his responsibilities. What an A-hole.

    She can't just put his name on the birth certificate if he is not oresent. Paternity will have to be established. Contact your local child support enforcement office to find the proceedings for your state.
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    notkateanymorenotkateanymore member
    So that is a good reason to let him be there for the birth...and then kick his ass out. Security!
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    RNmommyof2RNmommyof2 member
    I'm in California and if the parents are unmarried the father needs to sign a declaration of paternity to have his name on the birth certificate.
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    Joy+BabyNumber3Joy+BabyNumber3 member
    Wonderful!!!! You are going to be so much better off!!! 
    Expecting Baby #3 to complete our family. 
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    mh89mh89 member
    Yeah... Definitely don't let him dictate to you how to feed your child. Its not up to him. He's not in control and cant force you to give baby a bottle. Breastfeed! :)
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    MamaGrilloMamaGrillo member
    Brittnei11 said:

    Thanks y'all! I am starting to check into all that! He text me again this morning saying he will see his son and that I will give him a bottle. Because I was planning to do complete breast feeding for his first 3 or 4 months

    Okay wait, what?! He told you that you will give the baby a bottle?!?!
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    Brittnei11Brittnei11 member
    MamaGrillo said:

    Brittnei11 said:

    Thanks y'all! I am starting to check into all that! He text me again this morning saying he will see his son and that I will give him a bottle. Because I was planning to do complete breast feeding for his first 3 or 4 months

    Okay wait, what?! He told you that you will give the baby a bottle?!?!
    Yes, he made the statement I will pump and give him a bottle so he can take him for a weekend! When I was willing to stay a week or weekend with his mom she he could see baby after work! But he said HELL NO! He will have a bottle. I was being selfish, and only thinking of myself! And that he would take me to court an show me the courts would make me put him on a bottle so he could take him on weekends.
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    Brittnei11Brittnei11 member
    Oh yeah, I forgot he had my Facebook password an I was talkin to his step-brothers wife about what he has done Bc she has been there for me through all of this. An he logged in an read my shit. And went off on her husband for it. And now his mother thinks I'm trying to break up her family! Mhmm he shouldn't have been nosey an got on my shit!
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    grannyweatherwaxgrannyweatherwax member
    Brittnei11 said:

    MamaGrillo said:

    Brittnei11 said:

    Thanks y'all! I am starting to check into all that! He text me again this morning saying he will see his son and that I will give him a bottle. Because I was planning to do complete breast feeding for his first 3 or 4 months

    Okay wait, what?! He told you that you will give the baby a bottle?!?!
    Yes, he made the statement I will pump and give him a bottle so he can take him for a weekend! When I was willing to stay a week or weekend with his mom she he could see baby after work! But he said HELL NO! He will have a bottle. I was being selfish, and only thinking of myself! And that he would take me to court an show me the courts would make me put him on a bottle so he could take him on weekends.
    I would love to see him try that. Maybe he can stop acting like a child and just get along with you.
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    peitripeitri member

    Heaven802002 said:
    Why is he still in your avatar pic if y'all are broken up?
    Exactly what I was wondering last night.
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    Brittnei11Brittnei11 member
    Cashingn2 said:


    Heaven802002 said:

    Why is he still in your avatar pic if y'all are broken up?
    Right? I get annoyed seeing his face.


    I've yet to get on the computer to change it! I forgot about it.
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    Brittnei11Brittnei11 member
    HollisW12 said:

    Brittnei11 said:

    MamaGrillo said:

    Brittnei11 said:

    Thanks y'all! I am starting to check into all that! He text me again this morning saying he will see his son and that I will give him a bottle. Because I was planning to do complete breast feeding for his first 3 or 4 months

    Okay wait, what?! He told you that you will give the baby a bottle?!?!
    Yes, he made the statement I will pump and give him a bottle so he can take him for a weekend! When I was willing to stay a week or weekend with his mom she he could see baby after work! But he said HELL NO! He will have a bottle. I was being selfish, and only thinking of myself! And that he would take me to court an show me the courts would make me put him on a bottle so he could take him on weekends.
    This is the most ridiculous thing ever. How have you not punched him in the junk yet?? Seriously though, be strong and don't let him get away with this shit. Yall are obviously going to have to learn to work together on this one but jeez he sounds difficult!


    I am trying to work with him but he is being a total jerk! And I've actually beat him up once! But I'm standing firm on breast feeding.
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    Brittnei11Brittnei11 member
    edited November 2013
    I changed my avatar, but it ain't showed up yet.
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    MamaGrilloMamaGrillo member
    SweetSouthernMomma08 said:

    Brittnei11 said:

    I changed my avatar, but it ain't showed up yet.

    Then you didn't change it because it still is there...
    And beating him up isnt going to make a good case for you in court. Just fyi
    Well, it's changed now, but yes, beating people up usually doesn't score points, especially when there are children involved.
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    Brittnei11Brittnei11 member
    I beat him up in the first of my pregnancy. But I'm not going to do anything for them to use against me in court!
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    Brittnei11Brittnei11 member
    Cashingn2 said:


    KFED103 said:

    I beat him up in the first of my pregnancy. But I'm not going to do anything for them to use against me in court!
    you sound strangely proud of this. Maybe it's just me.
    Nope, not just you. That's why I said Klassy! Only klassy people are proud of this kind of stuff.



    No, I actually feel bad for it! But it happen!
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    blainethetrainblainethetrain member
    Cashingn2 said:


    frankierokx said:


    Brittnei11 said:

    I beat him up in the first of my pregnancy. But I'm not going to do anything for them to use against me in court!
    Domestic violence is never ok, whether male on female or female on male! Maybe this is why he left. I feel there is more to this story than you are letting on. 
    Completely agree with this. Perhaps this is why he said he doesn't think he could be happy with you. I am positive my husband would say the same thing to me if I were abusive.

    I have visions of an episode of COPS.
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