Who will be in the delivery room with you?

loveyoga7 · November 2013

Besides your doctor, L&D nurse, doula and what not, who do you plan on having in the delivery room with you and DH/SO? My Mom is already assuming that she will be in the delivery room with us since she was in the delivery room of my nephew's birth but I feel like it would be unfair to my MIL who I have a good relationship with. I am just not comfortable with MIL in the delivery room seeing my nether region. I don't know how my Mom will take it if I tell her I don't want her in the delivery room. She is very sensitive and a bit dramatic and tends to guilt my sister's and always seems to get her way. Any advice?

thomas930 · November 2013

Just me and DH, that's how its been for all my L&D's.

If you don't want someone in there than just tell them you want it to be a moment between you and DH.

adored18 · November 2013

My husband and my mom. She's my mom - she just has this way of making me feel better like no one else can. Plus she was in the room when my son was born (barely made it) but stayed by my head the entire time and was totally respectful of my privacy. She was however all hands on to help me breast feed and I appreciated that. My MIL on the other hand? No, just no.

Rrrrrachel · November 2013

Definitely my husband. Maybe my mom, maybe his mom, maybe our daughter (who will be almost three), I don't really know yet. Last time my husband, my mom, and my sister were there (plus mw and nurse etc).

Linnea503 · November 2013

Just DH. Don't let your mom bully you into changing your mind.

Twirple · November 2013

My mom will be there for labor, and then as I get ready to push, we will ask her to leave and wait in the waiting room. This is what we did when I was having DS. She got to be there for us, but I just wanted DH and I there for the actual delivery. She will be the first person to see the baby other than us.

melissashogan · November 2013

DH only in my room lol. You just need to say no to your mom. My mother was mad and hurt when I wouldn't even let her in the hospital with DD till after she was born but she got over it when she saw her face. I didn't want anybody there with her because I am a very private person. This time I am letting people in the waiting room but not in the delivery room.

JessieAlbin · November 2013

My mom wants to come down and be there too... DH and I def decided it will be him, my doctor and any other necessary medical personnel. No friends, no mom, no mil. She's not going to like it, and she will get over it.

Kiahsimpson · November 2013

My mom and DH. Hubby and I are young and scared, and my mom has been through this so many times (6 kids of her own and at least 6 grand kids so far). Plus, I've had nightmares that DH passes out while I'm giving birth, so I guess I want my mom there just to be prepared. Lol

ksulli · November 2013

Just my husband. He was the only one there getting this baby in me, and he'll be the only non-medical person to witness it coming out.

natpirt · November 2013

Just me and SO... if all goes as planned. Due to work he is sometimes unreachable at work. So if he don't make it then one of my Aunts. Not close to parents so mom isn't a contender. With my second my now 14 year old got stuck in the room, baby decided it was time to get out and there wasn't a extra person to escort her out the room. But till this day she is proud to tell people she cut her sister's cord.

manda10884 · November 2013

My DH and my mom and one of my sisters(the other two will probably be mad at me) but she is a photographer and so she will be taking classy labor pics- no down there shots! Definitely not MIL- even if I had a close relationship with her I would still only want my mom and not her! I have a special bond with my mom that is not shared with anyone else and I could care less if my MIL was upset over it- yes I understand it's her grandchild too but her son isn't the one pushing the baby out- he doesn't need support in the delivery room like I do! Maybe I'm just selfish but that's my opinion. Not fair to kick mom out just because MIL is upset! Unless I guess you really don't want her in there! My mom is my best friend and so I want to share it with her too! To each their own!

JuneDay2913 · November 2013

DH is the only on in the room. Everyone else will get a phone call after the baby is born because we want those first few hours with just DH & I everyone else can come and visit after. Also the other reason that we are doing this is because some family lives 8 hours away, some live 2 hours away, and some live an hour and a half away and I do not want anyone there but my husband for the L & D.

Mustardseed2007 · November 2013

Just DH. You know....that's why I got married. So we could do icky stuff like this together :P

BiggerinRealLife · November 2013

No one for delivery. My mom wants to camp out in the waiting room, so I'll prob have her and my nurse BFF come in and keep me company during labor if my labor is running long. I've heard it's good to give DH a breather and breaks up the marathon that labor can be. But we're kicking every one out for delivery.

Mustardseed2007 · November 2013

natpirt said:

Just me and SO... if all goes as planned. Due to work he is sometimes unreachable at work. So if he don't make it then one of my Aunts. Not close to parents so mom isn't a contender. With my second my now 14 year old got stuck in the room, baby decided it was time to get out and there wasn't a extra person to escort her out the room. But till this day she is proud to tell people she cut her sister's cord.

Wow! That is just super cool that your daughter cut the cord for her sister. I mean, I find birth really amazing but super gross. But that's just really cool.

twinklemoon · November 2013

DH and I decided it's just him and I. I did want my mom possibly my sister but then he wanted his mom, so I said let's avoid drama.

kali55 · November 2013

I'm planning on having a home birth, so my DH will be there and so will DS. My Mom is flying into the country to help out with DS, so she'll be there too!

PaddysGirl8 · November 2013

Probably just me and DH. I would be ok with my mom being there but I refuse to let my MIL in the room and I don't want shit started bc she's left out. She is the type to do that. Then again, if its a girl she probably won't even be interested.

Bluebird2318 · November 2013

I only want DH there. My mom behaved very poorly after Skye was born and I hope so very, very much that she does not put up any kind of a fuss about this. DH could not handle post-baby drama with her a second time. I really hope she has zero interest in being at the hospital prior to/during the birth.

nicole mackenzie · November 2013

It's ok to only have your mom and not your mil. If that's what you want. If you only want your SO then that's fine too! Youre the one pushing so pick who you want there.

I'm only having DH. Not sure well tell family until baby is out.

Jwheels68 · November 2013

Just DH!!

boxerbabylove · November 2013

My husband will be with me and that's probably it. My mom doesn't actually want to be in he room (will be if I want her to be though) and I'm not comfortable with my ILs in the room.

MissWhis · November 2013

ksulli said:

Just my husband. He was the only one there getting this baby in me, and he'll be the only non-medical person to witness it coming out.

This.

Plus, I feel like it is something that is just for us to share. I think anyone else in the room (as much as I love my mom, sister, best friend, etc) would just be a distraction. They will be in there as soon as we let them through the door, though!

Sisimama10 · November 2013

Just SO.

Rogue237 · November 2013

Just DH!

krazy6262 · November 2013

It will only be DH, the doctors and nurses. I just don't feel comfortable having anyone else there.

If you want your mom to be in the delivery room, it's your choice and I'm sure your mil would respect that. However, if you're only considering having your mom in the delivery room because she's pushing you to, then you should try to explain to her that it's an intimate moment between you and dh.

strawberrytree · November 2013

Hubs, doula, medical staff. It is an incredibly intimate experience that I wouldn`t want to share with anyone but my husband. Our first child`s birth was about the three of us becoming a family, not about my mom becoming a grandmother or anybody`s bragging rights. Don`t have anyone in there you aren`t okay with seeing you naked or watching you poop, and even if you change your mind halfway through and want your mom or whoever to leave that is totally, 100% fine. Stress during labour can stall you and lead to complications, so don`t worry about what other people want or expect and just focus on what YOU want.

maelic · November 2013

You couldn't pay me enough money to have anyone but my husband in the room with me.

Not enough money in the WORLD.

Sisimama10 · November 2013

ColleenSwerb said:
I haven't entirely figured things out yet. Someone will need to stay with DS at our house, maybe BIL will come up and do that. Both sets of parents live 3.5 hours away, but my parents drove at like 2am for DS' birth.
Regardless, we're fine with family visiting during labor. It was nice for ppl to stay with me and give DH a bit of a break (we checked in at 1am and DS didn't come til 530pm). DS ended in a section, but as with him once we get to the point of pushing then everyone is out of the room except DH.

I'm trying to figure out the same thing regarding who will take DD while we are at the hospital. We have a lot of family in the area, but I'm not sure the logistics of how long it will take, when we will take her wherever she will be staying, how to get her up to the hospital after and where she will stay that night while I'm sleeping in the hospital! Arghh stress.

natpirt · November 2013

Mustardseed2007 said:

natpirt said:

Just me and SO... if all goes as planned. Due to work he is sometimes unreachable at work. So if he don't make it then one of my Aunts. Not close to parents so mom isn't a contender. With my second my now 14 year old got stuck in the room, baby decided it was time to get out and there wasn't a extra person to escort her out the room. But till this day she is proud to tell people she cut her sister's cord.

Wow! That is just super cool that your daughter cut the cord for her sister. I mean, I find birth really amazing but super gross. But that's just really cool.

Yes it sort of scared me during labor, but she stayed on the side where she didn't see anything to icky...lol. And the doctor that delivered her was the same for her sister. He asked me if I was ok with it and she should feel honored to do the cutting. She was really excited to do it.

*sparky* · November 2013

thomas930 said:

Just me and DH, that's how its been for all my L&D's.

If you don't want someone in there than just tell them you want it to be a moment between you and DH.

This - exactly. When I went into labor with my DS, we called my dad who had just arrived at their beach house three hours away. They drove all the way to the hospital and he came to visit me in the L&D room. His wife (not my mom) stayed in the waiting room. When it was close to delivery time, my dad blurts out "can I stay in here?" and I quickly said I'd really rather he wait in the waiting room so the nurses ushered him out. No way in hell I wanted my dad to see that. He got to see the baby once he was cleaned up, etc.

I would not have wanted anyone else in the room with me other than DH. If I had a sister I was very close to, maybe, but I can't imagine having IL's, etc. in there.

CurlieWhirlie · November 2013

My mom would like to be there. She was in the room when I had my son, and I found her presence comforting. She wasn't involved, she didn't do anything, she just hung out in the corner. So I'm happy to have her be there again, as long as SO is ok with it.

Nijay714 · November 2013

I plan on delivering at the same hospital I had my son at and they let me have more than 2 people in the room when I was giving birth and my close friend who delivered at the same hospital had 5. I'm sure there's probably a limit. I plan on my SO, mom, his mom, my grandma and his sisters being in the room with me. Not saying they all will but if they are that's who I'd want.

katiedidthat · November 2013

Last time it was DH and my mom. My MIL pitched a fit but DH stood up for me and pointed out that he wouldn't want my mom in the room if he was having a procedure done, so why should I have to have his mom? He wasn't the one in labor, I was. So she and FIL waited in the waiting room with my dad and got over it. We had everyone back at the same time right away to meet the baby and then sent them away until the next day.
This time, because someone will have to take care of DS, it will just be DH. DS will be with my parents and they will come as soon as the baby is born so DS can meet his sibling. DS and DH will be the only visitors in the first hour, then MIL/FIL/mom/dad can come see the baby and then no one else for the rest of the first day. We have a pretty strict "no visitors if the baby comes outside of 8am-8pm rule", plus by restricting visitors to that short time period (first 2 hours only last time, first 3 this time since DS will be the only one in the first hour) on the first day we guarantee I will be able to rest and that no one will be bothering me while I try to get BFing going.

mbethmcgill · November 2013

I'm having a c section so just DH. It would be just DH either way. My Mom is always at the hospital waiting and that's how we all prefer it.

Bees Everywhere · November 2013

I'm apparently the only one that has no idea yet. We'll see how I'm feeling about it when I'm in labor.

e: With my first I wanted my parents there too but it ended up in c/s. My parents are both such calming people for me. This time around I feel just completely different about the entire pregnancy. We haven't even public said I'm pregnant yet. This time I'm leaning towards nobody but DH. Honestly I just sort of want to give birth at home this time.

reginahcampbell · November 2013

It will just be me and DH. I'd like my Dad there, but DH doesn't want his Mom in the room...so it's easier to just not have either. They'll both come in afterwards.

LEIGHLOVE09 · November 2013

Just me and DH. We didn't even tell anyone I was in labor until after she was born. This time it will still be just DH in room but my mom will know as she is going to watch DD for us. I also want DD to be the first person to meet her sister so no visitors are allowed until she comes up.

smashton14th · November 2013

My mom does not like to see me in pain so i told her it was a definite no. I am having my DH and my best friend. That is what i had last time and it was perfect. My DH and her would switch pushing tennis balls in my back. (I had horrible back labor.) Then they would alternate giving me encouragement or ice chips. Also, my friend took a few pictures with my camera. I loved the picture she took of the baby and DH.

vettymama · November 2013

Just DH.

Tell her you only want your husband in the room with you and you aren't changing your mind. It is so nice to have that time with just the 3 of you.

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