Work shower vs regular shower

Jennpjc414 · October 2013

I am an elementary school teacher and a ftm. I know my team will throw a shower for me at my school but I am pretty good friends with some of my coworkers and would love to invite them to the shower that my MIL is hosting that will consists of my family and friends, but then I would feel bad that might think they would have to get a gift for my work and regular shower. Should I just leave them off the guest list for this one?

EastCoastBride · October 2013

It's a shower, not a wedding. They should only be invited to ONE shower.

EastCoastBride · October 2013

And to clarify what I mean - I feel like "lately", there is this onus put on showers that they are major LIFE EVENTS and that we just want to include everyone close to us, etc etc etc. THey aren't. A wedding is a life event, the actual birth of your child is a life event.

A shower is really JUST a party. It's not a major event that people need to be "included" in.

SparkySharky · October 2013

I think you'd be doing them a favor by leaving them off of your regular shower guest list. They already attended one (hopefully during work hours <:-P) and will be torn about whether or not they have to give you two gifts and whether it's really necessary for them to attend two showers. Those that are really put out by being asked to 2 will just not go. And those who would love to go to both and aren't conflicted about the gifts, will probably ask about your regular shower in the course of regular conversation and you can weigh whether to invite them then.

Sam Buttons · October 2013

I think it depends on what your work shower includes. At my work people don't give individual gifts (unless they give you something afterward) or contribute to anything, the company has a set budget for the shower and the party planning committee uses that budget to get you gifts. So, I wouldn't feel uncomfortable inviting work friends because they wouldnt be bringing a gift to the work shower. If it was a typical shower held at work I'd probably skip inviting them to the other, unless it was one person - like your work bff.

Shobb414 · October 2013

I agree that they should just come to one of the showers, they might have more fun at the work one since they know everyone. Maybe let them pick which one? Or if you are close enough to them tell them about both and say they could come to both but don't need to bring gifts!
Unfortunately for my shower it's one that invited everyone ;( my mil is annoying and she also has a large family I never ever ever ever talk to all of them... And just like for the wedding she invited everyone she ever met, so for the shower my mom and I knew we would he in trouble (she would call dh and go off and demand more invites) if we didn't send invites to everyone that was at the in law bridal shower whether I like them or talk to them or not.

MrsBynum0505 · October 2013

I think it's fine to invite them to your MiL shower. Most work showers aren't gifting showers. They are just food and talking. While you shouldn't expect gifts, the co-workers you are close with would probably appreciate being invited to a more personal shower.

EastCoastBride · October 2013

MrsBynum0505 said:

Most work showers aren't gifting showers.

Not true.

eliveringhouse · October 2013

I'm a teacher as well and have some coworkers that I will be inviting to my shower outside of school... If you are close enough to them, I think they would want to be there!

mypreciouscargos · October 2013

SparkySharky said:

I think you'd be doing them a favor by leaving them off of your regular shower guest list. They already attended one (hopefully during work hours <:-P) and will be torn about whether or not they have to give you two gifts and whether it's really necessary for them to attend two showers. Those that are really put out by being asked to 2 will just not go. And those who would love to go to both and aren't conflicted about the gifts, will probably ask about your regular shower in the course of regular conversation and you can weigh whether to invite them then.

Well said!
=D>

SandiaLiz · November 2013

I actually came to this board because of the exact same question! I am even an elementary school teacher too! I really like the idea of seeing what comes up in conversation with my grade level team and inviting them if they seem interested.

Showers already make me a little uncomfortable (Not that I am complaining at all that people love me and want to do something nice!) because I don't like anyone to feel like they have to get me a present. It is hard to know what to do!

jasminelorraine20 · November 2013

I think it depends on how close you are to your co-workers. For example, I had a best friend in my office (that is now in college full time so she no longer works here but is still my BFF)- so I invited her to my shower that my Mom threw and she still threw me a work shower. I didn't invite my other co workers to my personal shower though.

shaunessa · November 2013

mypreciouscargos said:

SparkySharky said:

I think you'd be doing them a favor by leaving them off of your regular shower guest list. They already attended one (hopefully during work hours <:-P) and will be torn about whether or not they have to give you two gifts and whether it's really necessary for them to attend two showers. Those that are really put out by being asked to 2 will just not go. And those who would love to go to both and aren't conflicted about the gifts, will probably ask about your regular shower in the course of regular conversation and you can weigh whether to invite them then.

Well said!
=D>

This!

noslen0519 · November 2013

My shower was a few weeks ago and I did invite a handful of my closer friends from school. My school shower is this week. It's more food and everyone contributes $5 for a gift, so I didn't think that having them at both was too out of hand. FWIW I took my co-workers lead who invited me to hers a few weeks before. =-)

linzerd · November 2013

Years ago we had a baby shower for a friend at work and then we all got invited to her regular shower. When the time came, I sent her sister a polite email letting her know that none of us would be attending since we were planning on throwing her a work shower. In the end it didn't matter, she ended up delivering ON the day of her regular shower prematurely and so we later had a meet the baby party since she never got to have a shower otherwise.

I'd say let them be invited anyway and let them decide if they want to come to both.

Want a personalized experience?

Work shower vs regular shower

Re: Work shower vs regular shower

Choose Another Board

Search Boards