Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Kellyfrancisco
member
Re: Wine
I never drank wine during mine, but if I did, I would have waited until the 3rd tri.
Married DH 7/30/11
CSC arrived 5/7/12
CHC arrived 6/2/14
What does your doctor think?
I don't believe that an occasional half glass of wine would hurt my LO, however I've not had the balls to try it yet. I usually just sneak a sip or two from DH.
It would make me feel better if that was the case, but no. She lived with me at the time and unless she was binge drinking at 2 in the morning and showing no effects from it the next day she only had two small glasses at special occasion dinners. I'm not saying this will happen to everybody, the doctors said that someone could have one glass and it effects the baby and someone else could drink every night and be fine. I'm just not willing to take a chance.
From everything I've read and heard from doctors, a glass now and then after the first trimester should be fine. The problem is that there's no hard and fast line as in, "One glass a week is definitely safe."
Basically, a glass a week is probably safe for most people. But there's no way to know if you're one of the people for whom that would be too much and cause problems. And the greatest risk is in the first tri. (Although keep in mind, many women drank a lot before they knew they were pregnant and go on to have perfectly healthy babies.)
Personally, I cut out all alcohol at this point just because there is no nutritional benefit and huge potential downside. However, I don't rule out having a glass of wine at one dinner in my ninth month if I really feel like it. I feel like that would be pretty safe.
It may be true your friend only had two drinks and had a baby with FAS, but it would be exceedingly rare.
My pregnancy was a (welcome) surprise, and in that first month I was on my anniversary vacation, had two big social events and then a business trip with several fancy receptions. So I was drinking WAY more than usual for me. (2-3 glasses a night, several nights a week) and because I was traveling, I managed to forget my prenatals for most of that month as well.
I told my OB in terror once I found out and she totally shrugged it off -- as did the nurse and the other doctor, and the genetics counselor.
If I was drinking that much and they have zero concern about it, I doubt many babies develop FAS after just two drinks in a month.
THIS. Not to mention most babies born in the US prior to, say, 1950. Just try and tell a French or Italian woman she can't have a glass of wine with her dinner because she's pregnant. They'd laugh in your face.
Same with sushi hysteria. Japanese women are encouraged to eat it throughout pregnancy and I don't recall hearing about millions of miscarriages a year in Japan for the past several decades.
Americans are just totally paranoid about some of this stuff.
@wtfisup: I would love to see a citation for that because my research has turned up nothing along those lines.
While it's probably a bad idea to eat sushi from a gas station, that's true for non-preggos as well as preggos. Aside from obviously problematic locations like that, sushi-grade fish is sushi-grade fish. There isn't anything magical about fish sold in Japan that makes it safer.
And when you look at the list of foods that actually cause various food poisonings, sushi is not even close to the most problematic. What will make you sick if not prepared right: bean sprouts and leafy greens. But no one puts them on the banned list.
BFP 10/1/2010 MMC D&C at 11w4d
BFP 3/15/2011 M/C at 6w
BFP 5/25/2011 DS1 born 1:11pm on 1/16/2012
BFP 10/18/2013 EDD 6/28/2014 GROW BABY GROW!!!!
For the record, I ate all the sushies, drank all the coffees & such. I probably would have had wine too if it didn't make me feel like death.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Married DH 7/30/11
CSC arrived 5/7/12
CHC arrived 6/2/14
:x
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Oct 21/13. Beta 360 @ 16 dpo
Oct 23/13. Beta 749 @ 18 dpo
Nov 24/13. Saw HB (141bpm) & baby wiggle around via ultrasound @ 9w5d due date changed to June 23!!
Dec 6/13. Heard HB (122bpm) via Doppler at OB @ 11w3d
Jan 9/14. Heard HB (124bpm) via Doppler at OB @ 16w3d irregular beat
Jan 29/14. DH felt kicks for first time @ 19w3d
Feb 2/14. Saw baby via ultrasound (quick scan in ER) @ 19w6d
Feb 6/14. Heard HB (126-134bpm) via Doppler @ 20w3d normal beat
Feb 15/14. AS - baby looked great (measured 1w small) and would NOT let us see sex! @ 21w5d
Feb 20/14 3D US - its a GIRL!!!!! @ 22w3d
Feb 27/14. Repeat AS for more pics, HB 124bpm @ 23w3d
Mar 6/14. Heard HB (130bpm) via Doppler @ 24w3d
You just have to decide what your comfort level is and consult your OB for his or her guidance.
A
Well that got classless pretty quickly. You could have just admited that you did indeed pull your facts out of thin air.
"Classless?" What are you, a Real Housewife?