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couples with kids evenings (off the me-time post)

erinmc1erinmc1 member
in Babies: 6 - 9 Months

When I was little, my parents had friends with kids the same age, and they'd all get together and have game nights on weekends, and generally enjoy some adult time, nothing crazy, just a couple glasses of wine and some board games, while the kids entertained one another (if it got too quiet, trouble was brewing).  I always assumed this was just how adults with kids got to have lives that didn't revolve 100% around their kids. 

I've asked around, and this concept seems very foreign to most parents I know.  I've asked what they do for fun on a Friday night, and it was like "laundry, snuggles, maybe some cleaning."  Ummm, am I the only one who finds that horribly depressing?  I love my son to death, but I also really miss having entertaining adult time that isn't work.  But in my experience with most of the parents we have hung out with socially, the dads get to play cards and hang out, and the women sit and focus all their energy/conversation, etc on the kiddos, regardless of the kids' ages. 

So how about you?  Do you still make friend time a priority?  Is game night a totally off-the-wall idea?

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Re: couples with kids evenings (off the me-time post)

  • LisaLisa1980LisaLisa1980 member
    Well, DS is in bed by 7:30 most nights, and we're pretty exhausted by then. Most of our friends are childless too. Once DS is older & there are more children around it'll be different. In the meantime, honestly, we don't make friends a priority.
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  • avh0630avh0630 member
    edited November 2013
    We definitely make friends a priority, it just starts a lot earlier than it used to. :) we get together with my friends and their families at least two Saturdays a month. The kids have fun playing together and we get some adult interaction. It can be utter chaos, but it's all worth it to me.

    Game night may be a little ambitious though, depending on the kids' ages. The kids still tend to need some supervising and interaction.
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  • =Lee=B=Lee=B member

    We've been doing friends (with and without babies) board game nights since our daughter was about a month old.  None of the kids are old enough to self entertain yet (oldest just turned 2) but we either trade-off entertaining the kids or we start the game night at bed time (the babies sleep in playpens upstairs).  We've also pulled off formal wine tasting nights (all our guests were baby free but our daughter soaked up some attention before going to bed).

    It is incredibly important to have time with other adults.  As the kids grow they will find thee game nights to be special as well.  It is definitely harder to get the friends out these days but we manage.  I know our friends (their babe is 7momnths) when they were pregnant they mentioned they wouldn't do game nights for about 2 years as they'd be home with the baby and we thought...seriously you won't leave home for over 2 years?  It took some coaxing but we have gotten them out.

    This past weekend we spent 7 hours at a Board Game Expo with friends.  We brought our 7month old and we played board games all day.  We took shifts with the baby to keep her entertained, fed and napping.  She didn't fuss or cry at all.  It was a bit different then past events but we all made it out and had fun.

    Life doesn't stop when a baby is born...our social life shouldn't stop either.  Just need to tweak it to make it work.  Entertaining at one family's home is the easiest way to get out with a baby! 

     

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  • =Lee=B=Lee=B member

    I got a call yesterday from the local national theatre wanting to sell us season passes again.  I explained we just had a baby so won't be pre-buying tickets but will buy them last minute when we can make it.  There was a long pause them "ummm mam (pause) I really don't think you're going to get out of the house for at least 2 years"

    OUCH!  All I could think to say was "well we hope it isn't that long".  Once I hung up I realized I should have told him that we've already made it out to a play at their rival theatre. so HA.

    Some people really just have the mindset that a baby ends your prior life!

     

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  • erinmc1erinmc1 member
    I'm glad to read that I'm not the only one who still wants to have a life outside being mom and dad.  Of course it's a much revised social life from what it used to be, but I don't see why it has to end entirely.  I just wish I had more friends locally who felt the same. 
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  • CrequitoCrequito member
    Most of our friends are childless but they enjoy children so we'll do football parties every now and then and just let DD play on the floor.  Even if it's a room of dudes I have no fear walking away and grabbing some time to myself - all of DHs friends adore DD.  She has so many uncles watching out for her she'll never be able to date (haha).  I think it depends on your friends.  Also, we don't usually schedule things for weeknights unless it's a Friday or the night before a holiday since DH and I both work and need to get some sleep during the week.
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  • MrsG071809MrsG071809 member
    I think this totally depends on your mindset - we, like others, still make the effort to have social time, just not as often (or as late!) as pre-kid.  Most of our friends are kid-free right now, but we'll still go to parties or get togethers and usually bring the baby and a carrier and once bedtime hits she'll pass out.  My birthday is coming up and we've already decided to have friends over to our house so that we don't have to find a sitter, DD can go to bed like normal upstairs, and we can still have a few drinks with friends.  I'm actually excited for my two best friends to start TTC (both just got married) so that down the line we can have get togethers where the kids are off playing and the adults get their own time. My parents did game nights often when I was growing up, and I looked forward to it just as much as they did!
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  • kgs0505kgs0505 member
    I don't think that's all that possible with little kids.  Once they are 5-7 or so, you can probably consider that.  My parents didn't really do game nights.  But my mom would take us to her friend's house, where they would talk forever and the 4 of us kids would play.  But I don't remember doing that very young.  Not til school age at least.

    TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption! 

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    Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!

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