FFFC

Lolalipsy · November 2013

JoJo716 said:
This one is weird. I don't think I could ever live in an older house. However, it is not because I do not like them. I think the architecture and the details are great. I actually prefer the style of older houses to newer ones. My reasoning is that I am convinced they are haunted. Don't even get me started on basements...

My house dates back to the 1600's and was built from the stone from a roman Bastille. It definitely feels haunted at times. My mum hates staying here.

Lolalipsy · November 2013

jayro10 said:
The other night I woke up so hungry. Baby wasn't awake, but I was. I tried to just roll over and go back to sleep, but I couldn't until I had gotten up and had a small snack.

True story.

My FFFC I have always eaten during the night. I get hungry. I also pee several times a night. I'm just a bigger version of a baby!

I hope my daughter doesn't take after me otherwise it will be a long time before I get a decent sleep.

watuzzigal · November 2013

Here is my real one: two nights ago, we went to an award ceremony/cocktail hour thing for my H. The speakers were kind of elitest, so I held up A and talked to her just loud enough for the people around me to hear my critiques of the speeches. She smiled at me. I smiled at her while I was doing so. We were sitting in the back, but it still felt really good to voice my analysis during the event.

Boo0512 · November 2013

@5953fpp I'm in the same lazy boat lol. We also live in a very small house and I think my DH would be really pissed if I let LO CIO. He has been working 12+ hour days and he needs sleep. Little monster will get her way I guess!

LaxMOM44 · November 2013

Strawny0807 I think your OP wasn't clear enough and we all thought you were using tough love on a hungry child. If you had said. :

My doctors have said that LO is big enough and eats enough according to my extensive charting to not need to eat through the night so I am starting to sleep train in order to get more sleep.

We all would have wished you good luck and given you encouraging success stories. Just a thought, instead of getting mad at us for our "flames" maybe say oops guys I guess I should clarify...sorry we pissed you off so much!!!

Anyways good luck with the sleep training I hope it works!! No encouraging stories here, my LO is Rick James/cartman.

sundaesprinkles · November 2013

Lolalipsy said:

This one is weird. I don't think I could ever live in an older house. However, it is not because I do not like them. I think the architecture and the details are great. I actually prefer the style of older houses to newer ones. My reasoning is that I am convinced they are haunted. Don't even get me started on basements...
My house dates back to the 1600's and was built from the stone from a roman Bastille. It definitely feels haunted at times. My mum hates staying here.

@lolalipsy was it your baby who would stare and smile at seemingly nothing in your house? Or am I thinking of someone else?

kyliensc · November 2013

strawny0807 said:
I'm done with MOTN feedings. DD is just over 6 months, it's time for tough love. She weighs enough and eats enough during the day to not need to eat at night. I'm SO over waking up every 3 hours. Sorry, love...but mama's tired. Tonight is night one of CIO and I'm excited about it.

I guess the "tought love" and "im excited" threw me off.

Lolalipsy · November 2013

makeupgeek said:

Lolalipsy said:

JoJo716 said:
This one is weird. I don't think I could ever live in an older house. However, it is not because I do not like them. I think the architecture and the details are great. I actually prefer the style of older houses to newer ones. My reasoning is that I am convinced they are haunted. Don't even get me started on basements...
My house dates back to the 1600's and was built from the stone from a roman Bastille. It definitely feels haunted at times. My mum hates staying here.

@lolalipsy was it your baby who would stare and smile at seemingly nothing in your house? Or am I thinking of someone else?

Yes, it was my LO. She hasn't done it for a few weeks now. It's unnerving at times.

JoJo716 · November 2013

Lolalipsy said:

JoJo716 said:
This one is weird. I don't think I could ever live in an older house. However, it is not because I do not like them. I think the architecture and the details are great. I actually prefer the style of older houses to newer ones. My reasoning is that I am convinced they are haunted. Don't even get me started on basements...
My house dates back to the 1600's and was built from the stone from a roman Bastille. It definitely feels haunted at times. My mum hates staying here.

Wow, that is awesome! I can't imagine living somewhere with so much history. Where we live, anything pre-1900s (basically, pre-ac) is considered ancient. I love visiting places with history but for some reason sleeping there freaks me out. Side note: Do you live in Scotland or England? I can't remember.

Lolalipsy · November 2013

JoJo716 said:

Lolalipsy said:

JoJo716 said:
This one is weird. I don't think I could ever live in an older house. However, it is not because I do not like them. I think the architecture and the details are great. I actually prefer the style of older houses to newer ones. My reasoning is that I am convinced they are haunted. Don't even get me started on basements...
My house dates back to the 1600's and was built from the stone from a roman Bastille. It definitely feels haunted at times. My mum hates staying here.
Wow, that is awesome! I can't imagine living somewhere with so much history. Where we live, anything pre-1900s (basically, pre-ac) is considered ancient. I love visiting places with history but for some reason sleeping there freaks me out. Side note: Do you live in Scotland or England? I can't remember.

England but very near the Scottish border. They call us scots with their brains kicked out!

It's a lovely house but it's horrible to heat and constantly needs something doing.

LaxMOM44 · November 2013

@lolalipsy I am dying of jealousy at the history in your home!

Lolalipsy · November 2013

@laxminavkar sadly we have to sell because it's too costly to keep but it really is a lovely house full of history.

flyliceandcoffee · November 2013

So I was going to stay out of the whole CIO/MOTN feeding but, @strawny0807, I think your initial statement and then following reaction to what people have said is part of the reason for the flames and why CIO is such a highly contested discussion topic. My gut reaction was also to say please, feed your child, and that if the reason you're doing any sleep training is to get more sleep instead of to help your LO learn to sleep, that's incredibly selfish. We've done sleep training with S, and although I understand where you are coming from as our pediatrician also said that S can and should at this point be STTN, I was still taken aback by how nonchalant you were about CIO and abruptly cutting out MOTN feedings.

I think, regardless of your desire to get more sleep, CIO, Ferber, any type of sleep training is not going to work if you abruptly cut out MOTN feedings cold turkey. Even our pediatrician, who advocates not feeding them at night, told us to gradually phase it out. I still get up at night to feed S and will continue to do so as long as she wants me to. I do give her a chance to go back to sleep on her own, and that's what I've taken from sleep training. It's not about how many times they wake up, it's all about giving them the tools to self soothe. If S wants to get up 3 times a night to talk to herself for an hour at a time before going back to sleep on her own, then we've done our job, even if that means I'm up 3 times a night for an hour at a time waiting to see if she's actually going to want to eat.

Obviously, I'm not saying don't do any sleep training because we've done it, but please, at least consider phasing out MOTN feedings, and remember that just because your LO cries in the middle of the night, there could be a myriad of other reasons other than being hungry, so sleep training, at least in my opinion, is not going to magically cause them to STTN forever.

JoJo716 · November 2013

@lolalipsy I just watched a travel show that was in Edinburgh and the host asked his guide if he was Scottish first and British second. The guide replied he was Scottish first and Scottish second. Ha!

Lolalipsy · November 2013

JoJo716 said:
@lolalipsy I just watched a travel show that was in Edinburgh and the host asked his guide if he was Scottish first and British second. The guide replied he was Scottish first and Scottish second. Ha!

A man after my grandfather's heart. My grandfather used to say he was so proud there was no English blood in him lol. He was born in Glasgow and all of his family were Scottish, Irish and a little French.

Yet after many many years England became his home.

PumpkinAndThePeanut · November 2013

nonniedee said:

Ok I feel guilty admitting this, but here goes. I love K with everything I am, but I still think about the what ifs of my first baby. He'd be a year and a half. I think about how different I'd be. My second one is, for a long time I had to force myself to love my mother. It was like obligatory love. I was so convinced that we didn't love each other because we never had skin to skin. When K was born I snatched her from the Dr., and held her even though she was supposed to go to get suctioned out. I know I love my mom now, but a tiny part of me believes it could've been different if she'd just held me.

I do this too. Mine was an early m/c and he would be 16 months now (we learned the sex after a D&C). I wouldn't change my situation now for the world but I do think of that baby and how different things would be now if instead of having two 6 month old girls, I had a 16 month old son. Possibly one with cystic fibrosis (as we learned after that m/c that DH and I are both CF carriers).

PumpkinAndThePeanut · November 2013

Oh FFS, I just ate a cookie someone in the office was offering.

I did walk to Target - they had no costumes. I managed to bypass the clearance candy.

c-elizabethf · November 2013

nonniedee said:
Ok I feel guilty admitting this, but here goes. I love K with everything I am, but I still think about the what ifs of my first baby. He'd be a year and a half. I think about how different I'd be.

My second one is, for a long time I had to force myself to love my mother. It was like obligatory love. I was so convinced that we didn't love each other because we never had skin to skin. When K was born I snatched her from the Dr., and held her even though she was supposed to go to get suctioned out. I know I love my mom now, but a tiny part of me believes it could've been different if she'd just held me.

I think about my first one too, the baby would be 9 months old.

watuzzigal · November 2013

I don't know if this is appropriate, but I wanted to send y'all some kind of "I read this" acknowledgement. If you take Internet hugs, I am sending them.

jedimindtrick · November 2013

nonniedee said:
I was so convinced that we didn't love each other because we never had skin to skin. When K was born I snatched her from the Dr., and held her even though she was supposed to go to get suctioned out. I know I love my mom now, but a tiny part of me believes it could've been different if she'd just held me.

I don't think, or really hope to hell, this isn't true. I didn't get skin to skin with my boy because of a c-section and didn't get to really even hold him for almost 3 hours because of my constant heaving in a bucket. To think that could in any way affect how he loves me breaks my heart.

(

Boo0512 · November 2013

NJAZgirl said:

nonniedee said:
I was so convinced that we didn't love each other because we never had skin to skin. When K was born I snatched her from the Dr., and held her even though she was supposed to go to get suctioned out. I know I love my mom now, but a tiny part of me believes it could've been different if she'd just held me.
I don't think, or really hope to hell, this isn't true. I didn't get skin to skin with my boy because of a c-section and didn't get to really even hold him for almost 3 hours because of my constant heaving in a bucket. To think that could in any way affect how he loves me breaks my heart. (

My dd had breathing problems and was taken from me pretty quickly. I had internal bleeding and was so drugged up that I barely saw DD for the first 36 hours of her life. I didn't nurse her until two days after she was born

I'm pretty sure she loves me to pieces though and I'm sure your LO adores you as well.

CNJ4EVA · November 2013

NJAZgirl said:

I was so convinced that we didn't love each other because we never had skin to skin. When K was born I snatched her from the Dr., and held her even though she was supposed to go to get suctioned out. I know I love my mom now, but a tiny part of me believes it could've been different if she'd just held me.
I don't think, or really hope to hell, this isn't true. I didn't get skin to skin with my boy because of a c-section and didn't get to really even hold him for almost 3 hours because of my constant heaving in a bucket. To think that could in any way affect how he loves me breaks my heart. (

Me too. I was so shaky/out of it after my CS. I didn't hold LO til about 6 hours after her birth, which was technically the next day. I have such remorse about it, but I was scared to death at the time that I'd drop her or hurt her somehow.

LaxMOM44 · November 2013

My mom held me right away and I really don't love her. Well I love her like you'd love anyone you'd known your whole life but I definitely don't live her like a mom. We have never been close.

huzzahuzza · November 2013

And my mom didn't hold me right away and I love her sososososo much!!!!! She's like my best bud!!!

coffeeandbooks · November 2013

We did nothing for Halloween. I got like two hours of sleep the night before and I was a zombie. I finally dressed LO up today, had a photo op and sent the picture to the grandparents. Happy Halloween!

CNJ4EVA · November 2013

@nonniedee I know you didn't mean any harm

michelle04us · November 2013

nonniedee said:

Ok I feel guilty admitting this, but here goes. I love K with everything I am, but I still think about the what ifs of my first baby. He'd be a year and a half. I think about how different I'd be. My second one is, for a long time I had to force myself to love my mother. It was like obligatory love. I was so convinced that we didn't love each other because we never had skin to skin. When K was born I snatched her from the Dr., and held her even though she was supposed to go to get suctioned out. I know I love my mom now, but a tiny part of me believes it could've been different if she'd just held me.

To the bolded. My miscarriage was 9 years ago and I still think about things like this. It was an early 2nd trimester m/c and pretty traumatic. I passed the baby at the hospital and knew when I did. Plus I lost so much blood my blood pressure was down to 70/45 and I was having white out episodes whenever I stood up.
I got pregnant with DS1 only 6 months later and had really bad PPD because I felt so guilty that he had survived and the other baby didn't. I realized it wasn't my fault but just couldn't shake the guilt.
I don't think you will ever be able to NOT think of the what ifs. 9 years later and I wonder if that would have been the baby girl I want and will never have.

jedimindtrick · November 2013

nonniedee said:

NJAZgirl said:

nonniedee said:
I was so convinced that we didn't love each other because we never had skin to skin. When K was born I snatched her from the Dr., and held her even though she was supposed to go to get suctioned out. I know I love my mom now, but a tiny part of me believes it could've been different if she'd just held me.
I don't think, or really hope to hell, this isn't true. I didn't get skin to skin with my boy because of a c-section and didn't get to really even hold him for almost 3 hours because of my constant heaving in a bucket. To think that could in any way affect how he loves me breaks my heart. (
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel that way. It's something that's been in my head since I was a kid. I should've thought about it before I said anything. It was insensitive to moms who didn't have a chance to hold their baby. It's my own neurosis, don't let it drive you crazy.

It's totally fine. I think you should absolutely be able to voice your thoughts/fears/neurosis. It's good to get them out there and deal with them.

I do think that what happens between you and your mom (any mom and child really) probably has way more effect on your relationship and feelings towards one another than those early moments.

Lolalipsy · November 2013

jgp13 said:

Shantxtell said:
Lol @ "get a grip" and " you people".
This.

My thoughts too!

LaxMOM44 · November 2013

Shantxtell said:

jayro10 said:
The other night I woke up so hungry. Baby wasn't awake, but I was. I tried to just roll over and go back to sleep, but I couldn't until I had gotten up and had a small snack.

True story.
This is great. And so true, I've said it before- I wake up thirsty during the night, why wouldn't my baby?

D'uh cause your baby reached a certain age!!!

coffeeandbooks · November 2013

crazycoffeegirl, I totally loved your post and agreed with most everything but I don't think wanting more sleep is necessarily selfish. I have been giving a lot of thought to sleep training and one major motivation is helping LO learn to sleep on his own, but my other motivations include getting more sleep to help our overall family dynamic. I think prolonged lack of sleep can affect a family negatively in the long run on many different levels (personalities degrade, more arguing, less productivity at work) so sleep for everybody is an important factor. Ultimately, it is still about LO because I want to raise him in the most positive environment possible, and I think having well rested parents does help achieve that.
I haven't followed through totally yet with the sleep training because for now we are dealing but I think if we do, it will be for all of us.

flyliceandcoffee · November 2013

@mslaurats - I think I probably should have worded that part a little differently. what I was trying to say was that It was just my gut reaction because it sounded to me like sleep was the only driving factor for CIO and in order to achieve that, OP was going to just cut out MOTN feedings cold turkey. I do agree that our own sleep is important, but it rubs me the wrong way when sleep training is used as the means to getting more sleep instead of it being a wonderful by-product that results from kiddos learning to go to sleep on their own.

The one concept of sleep training that I admit I have a very difficult time with is that it should be used to get kiddos sleeping through the night. I feel like people hear that and expect that once they start sleep training some magical switch is thrown and their LOs will from now on sleep all night. I think babies will sleep through the night when they're ready, and sleep training can still be used to help them regardless of whether they get up at night. Since we started sleep training a month and a half ago, S still gets up to eat, but it now takes 15 minutes to eat and I can put her back to bed without having to spend another hour holding her until she is so sound asleep she doesn't know I've put her back into her crib. 15 minutes vs an hour of awake time is for me an amazing bonus of sleep training and I know I'm getting the benefits of that extra sleep without needing S to sleep all night.

CNJ4EVA · November 2013

linegirl313 said:
Only four pages? Weak.

Hey, we outdid April and May '14 this week!

krwact · November 2013

annarussell05 said:

I think about my first baby sometimes too and I refer to the baby as she even though we never knew the sex.

Exactly this.

My confession: I sometimes fantasize about living in a big house with my friends and their kids "Sister Wives" style and letting DH visit occasionally.

telicious2 · November 2013

jgp13 said:
I left out my FFC yesterday. After I'm done having babies, and if we can afford it, I'm seriously considering getting a tummy tuck and a breast lift.

I don't have any body image issues or anything. I just don't think any amount of diet/exercise is going to tame the pooch. The more weight I lose, the more my skin just hangs. And I don't even want to know what my boobs are going to look like after bf two kids. Haha.

I already told DH I would like a breast lift after we are done having kids. Providing we can afford it. And you know what, lets add a tummy tuck too!

jedimindtrick · November 2013

jgp13 said:
I left out my FFC yesterday. After I'm done having babies, and if we can afford it, I'm seriously considering getting a tummy tuck and a breast lift.

I don't have any body image issues or anything. I just don't think any amount of diet/exercise is going to tame the pooch. The more weight I lose, the more my skin just hangs. And I don't even want to know what my boobs are going to look like after bf two kids. Haha.

Amen sister. Me too.

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