Zomg @adorabella why do you have an opinion if you didnt even fucking donate????
coming from someone that DID donate I dont care what she did with it. It was a donation!!!
Come the fuck on.
Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10
BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
Mine is kind of lame. Since we both have the day off today, I asked my H if he could spend a daddy-daughter day with Ava so I could get some much needed cleaning/organizing done around the house. He had to run a bunch of errands so he took her with him, and here I am sitting on my ass bumping when I have a ton of things to get done.
Zomg @adorabella why do you have an opinion if you didnt even fucking donate????
coming from someone that DID donate I dont care what she did with it. It was a donation!!!
Come the fuck on.
Again, I have an opinion because every detail is out there to read and unfortunately I have a brain that analyzes these things. I get to have an opinion.
Zomg @adorabella why do you have an opinion if you didnt even fucking donate????
coming from someone that DID donate I dont care what she did with it. It was a donation!!!
Come the fuck on.
I was going to say the same thing! You may not agree with the choice she made but don't make it seem like those of us who donated regret our decision.
I think it's funny when people blame Obamacare if they're not eligible for subsidies because they make too little. The ACA actually specifically tried to address that with the requirement that states expand Medicaid, so it's really the states that are refusing to expand that are screwing you not, not the federal government. Get out there and vote in the next few years, change your state government!
Man... if any of you are in a low place emotionally or financially, I would hope the _least_ we could do for each other is get you a drink of your choice.
Zomg @adorabella why do you have an opinion if you didnt even fucking donate????
coming from someone that DID donate I dont care what she did with it. It was a donation!!!
Come the fuck on.
Again, I have an opinion because every detail is out there to read and unfortunately I have a brain that analyzes these things. I get to have an opinion.
That would be pretty sucky of having people donate to you but pretty much wanting your family well being to be worse so your financial well being is slightly better...and being ticked that things are actually working out for you.
"Here's a gift you didn't ask for to make you feel better and life a little easier.. but I only really gave because your life wasn't going so great. Now that things are better and you now have CHOICES, I wish I didn't give at all since your life is going a little better now".
Huh?
Its basically saying you gave the donation to cajun because you felt bad about having so much shit going on in her life. Now that her life if going better that you wish you never gave. Oh your life is getting a little easier? Damn, I wish I didn't send you money then if I knew your life was going to get less sucky in the near future.
Actually that's not what I'm saying because I didn't donate.
Sorry @adorebella, I normally get along well with you, but fuck a whole lot of this confession. It's one thing to say you think it's a bad idea for big F to quit his job, but saying that it's a slap in the face for people who sent money is just such bullshit. Speak for yourself and not the rest of us. It's none of my business the decisions she makes for the well being of her family (well being meaning financially AND emotionally) and I'm glad I sent the money and would do it again in a heartbeat for any one of you who needed it, and I would also save my judgements as to what you do with the money. IMO since she just got a new job and is in the same financial spot she was in before big F lost his job, it's not an irresponsible financial decision anyway.
Guess it's time for my confession, and it goes along well with this. You may have all remembered our recent financial struggles with H losing his job. Well, he got a new job and has been there for like 4 weeks. He absolutely hates it and I just gave him permission to quit. He's been working 14 hour days for peanuts, misses Taylor like crazy, and he plans on waiting tables at his old restaurant until he can find something that makes more sense for us. Financially responsible? Maybe not. But it's what we have to do for our family and our sanity. Thank God no one offered donations our way because I'm sure you would all make me feel like shit for it. Fuck this board today.
First of all, I did speak for myself. I stated my opinion on what I thought was a bad decision. I agree that what someone does regarding their own family isn't my business but I'm going to have an opinion when they put every detail on the internet.
Though I find it hard to believe that someone isn't going to judge when a person is in jeopardy of not feeding their family, yet celebrates with a bottle of Jack at the same time - is that what you wanted your money going to? For the record, I didn't donate but I can guarantee that would burn me up.
It's a brand new job with likely little security in the beginning. A first paycheck hasn't even rolled in. Get stable and don't make impulsive decisions.
*Edit, that last line was not directed at you. As far as your situation goes I don't think it was a bad call to wait tables. Working is working.
Like I said already, having your opinion and telling cajun is one thing. Making a broad sweeping statement that "it's a slap in the face to the people that sent you money to help during tough times" is quite another. I inferred "people" to mean individuals other than yourself, so if you were only speaking for yourself then you should have made a different choice of words. And even if you WERE only speaking for yourself, the fact that you didn't donate makes this whole conversation pretty ridiculous.
I don't really think it's fair for people to flame people for flaming. If that makes any sense. Coming and white knighting and making others feel like crap for their opinion isn't any better than what that person gets flamed for.
So people can say crappy things in their flaming but no one can say crappy things back in response to said flaming. Mmmmm okay. Pretty sure this has never been the rule. (edited for clarity)
Why is it that every time something wonderful and nice is done or said on this board, it eventually gets drudged up and shit all over and ruined? Cajun I hope you're not reading any of this although I'm sure you are. I will speak for the majority of us who ACTUALLY donated and say that it was because we loved you, and I DGAF what you spent it on and I support your decision to go back to work and have Frankie come home.
Remember when I bitched last week about the couple I knew hoping for a homebirth for #2? The baby was born this morning! AT HOME, OF COURSE. 6lbs9oz. So much for my wish for a 10lb baby. I'm asshole. 8-X
@kiranata I'm so sorry your dealing with that from H and it sounds incredibly scary. I also think it's smart of you to stash that info and it may not be a bad idea to stash a spare set of keys and some cash. A domestic violence shelter can also help you brainstorm a get away plan in the event that it's ever necessary.
I sent Cajun a card and no money, because we're broke as a joke ourselves right now, but I would have given if I could have. Through personal experience though, I did think to myself, "I'd bet a dollar that someone gets pissed over something Cajun spends all that money on..." Though if I had a dollar I wouldn't really have bet it. I'd have given in to Cajun. Because that's what friends do, goddamnit! What do y'all think this is, fucking Shark Tank??! She didn't ask for the money, and she sure as hell didn't ask for anyone to take any equity out of what little her family has got! Here's a good general rule for any "giving" y'all want to do in the future: If you want a say in what's done with the money, that ain't a gift. You're asking to be an investor. Go be an investor. If you want to be a friend, then be a friend, NO MATTER WHAT. Jesus.
@kiranata, I was thumbing my previous post as yours went up I guess. I wouldn't have changed the subject back to that bullshit had I already read your confession.
You are deeply and intensely in my prayers. Please keep us updated! You are wise and strong for the choices you've made thus far.
So many people who hate "Obamacare!!!11" have no idea what it's actually going to do. Including many people who will be helped by it in the long run. People who cry poverty (whether that's true or not, I don't know people's wallets) and then bitching about "Obamacare" get so much side-eye from me.
I hate obamacare, i'll say it 100 times. I know plenty about it, it isn't helping me, and i'm not poor.
Well then that's all that matters, then! You you you! Forget all those poor assholes out there ruined by medical bills! Forget all the people who died without access to medical care because their insurance cut off due to a cap! Fuck 'em, right?
So many people who hate "Obamacare!!!11" have no idea what it's actually going to do. Including many people who will be helped by it in the long run. People who cry poverty (whether that's true or not, I don't know people's wallets) and then bitching about "Obamacare" get so much side-eye from me.
I hate obamacare, i'll say it 100 times. I know plenty about it, it isn't helping me, and i'm not poor.
Well then that's all that matters, then! You you you! Forget all those poor assholes out there ruined by medical bills! Forget all the people who died without access to medical care because their insurance cut off due to a cap! Fuck 'em, right?
I completely agree with Peg. Why should we have to work our butt off to provide for others and in most cases are just too lazy to get a job and afford healthcare. I'm not all about myself, but there comes a point when some people have to help themselves instead of constantly looking for free handouts. Again, all I see in my area are abuses of the system and those that truly need it are turned away. Maybe this isn't the case every where, but what I see on a day to day business. Heck our Human Services actually tells people to not bother getting a job because they will get more assistance without it.
That sort of thinking is completely out of touch with the economic realities we all live under. There are not millions upon millions of lazy people "cheating" the system; conversely, there are not enough full-time well-paying jobs to support every family. Anyone who thinks that's the way it is is just plain wrong and should stop watching Fox News immediately. Anyone who chooses to live in that bubble gets MEGA side-eye from me (and better not ever claim to be a Christian in my presence, but that's another story).
@kiranata I was so hoping I was reading into that, and now I'm incredibly sad I'm not. I'm so glad you have a plan and generous friends. I will be thinking of you and Alex. This breaks my heart for both of you. Please keep us updated.
Dating since 3.8.2008. Married since 6.4.2011. Bryson born on 6.28.2012
So many people who hate "Obamacare!!!11" have no idea what it's actually going to do. Including many people who will be helped by it in the long run. People who cry poverty (whether that's true or not, I don't know people's wallets) and then bitching about "Obamacare" get so much side-eye from me.
I hate obamacare, i'll say it 100 times. I know plenty about it, it isn't helping me, and i'm not poor.
Well then that's all that matters, then! You you you! Forget all those poor assholes out there ruined by medical bills! Forget all the people who died without access to medical care because their insurance cut off due to a cap! Fuck 'em, right?
It would be wonderful if what the ACA set out to do would actually happen, but the fact is even with the mandate and the penalty, it's still cheaper to have no insurance than to sign up for coverage under the ACA. Which means the people who need to get covered, won't. They'll just pay the penalty (which is a drop in the bucket compared to the cost of the coverage offered on the exchange) and rates for the rest of us will go up to pay for a big bloated bill that doesn't change the broken healthcare system and lines the pockets of insurance providors. Then when these uninsured people get sick or hurt, they'll do what they've always done: go to the ER, get treated, and (in most cases) not pay. And then rates will rise for those of us with insurance even more, to cover the cost of care for people who chose to pay the penalty rather than get insurance.
I think there are people who will take the penalty over the insurance, but I think it will be less than a lot of people seem to think. Why? Because having insurance is in everyone's best interest! Push come to shove, you need health insurance to cover you in case something terrible happens. I think a lot of young, healthy people get that, and some of the ones that don't have pushy family members who will make them get it.
I think it'll be a longer haul than initially expected. I imagine initial enrollment numbers will be disappointing, but the numbers a year out will look closer to what's expected to prop this whole thing up.
Well that was something, who knew having my husband home would create such a stir. Maybe i'll even have unprotected sex with him once he's home and the board can implode!
Some bullet points because I just dont really know where to start. (warning im a little annoyed so this will probably be the rudest you've ever witnessed me)
Before I had lil Frankie, big F was a SAHD and I worked. Doing the same thing im doing now for less money, so your financial responsibility arguement is invalid. We switched roles when I gave birth so that I could stay home with lil F for a while. Now the tables are turned like they used to be. Our income will be better than it was before I decided to SAH. FWIW my husband is 90% disabled from having been hit with a IED overseas so if he wants to stay at home he has earned the right to fucking stay at home.
I'm not motivated by money, yes it would be nice to have three incomes and build up our savings again quickly rather than over time. I just dont think the misery of him being gone months at a time is worth the money. As @mom2JBMS said "anyone who doesn't agree with Cajuns decision should live in a house
with four kids, very few friends and no family support for 8 months.
Opinions may change". I'd rather be miserable here with him than miserable here without him
The donated money, was so very appreciated and put to good use and unexpected. It really touched my heart to know that ya'll cared that much about me to come together that way for me. But who the fuck every said I bought a bottle of jack with it can suck my dick. Anyone who knows me knows damn well my liquor cabinet was already well stashed. Do your homework. L-) andplusalso if you didn't donate what the hell are you bitching about? STFU
FWIW the "my last dollar going with frankie comment" was excatly that...our last dollar went with him. His dad helped us pay for his trip up there on a stupid bus. The donated money stayed here and was used for my groceries because even after being in that bad a spot we didn't qualify for shit because "we make to much money". And as a matter of fact I still have some of that money left and guess what im using it for, groceries. If anyone requires a itemized list I can scan my latest food receipts.
If you felt slapped in the face because of him coming home, good maybe you should feel that way because that's what you deserve for being so self-righteous.
And yes the biggest part of our convo was deciding what to do because we still want to move home and that would have been perfect for that transition. In the end he can do the same thing here without having to sign a contract for 8 months. So that is what the plan is and we can still focus on going home.
@kiranata you know where I am if you need to talk. I've been there before and it's not easy, we can get you through this.
Well duh, I think 25-year olds being stupid and thinking they'll live forever is a given in life (well actually 27-year olds, 26 and under will still be covered under their parents plan, BOY THANKS OBAMA). That's what they have parents and bossy older sisters for (speaking as the bossy older sister of a 26-year old who WILL be signing up for insurance no matter what).
@kiranata I'm so sorry, but I'm so proud of you for doing what you need to do to keep both you an Alex safe. Keep doing so and stay strong.
Re: Obamacare: I support it, because I have seen what people do when they cannot afford insurance. And for you people who say "Well, we're going to be paying more for healthcare because of this now," realize that you're already paying for people who don't have insurance and go into the ER instead of the doctor because they can't turn people away. And then when the hospital can't get paid from that person, who does it come back on do you think? And I have a couple of friends who need this. One who has sarcoidosis, it was diagnosed after being kicked off her parent's insurance while she was a student and student insurance sucks royally, and couldn't afford private insurance with that pre-existing condition that isn't going to be going away anytime soon. She's ended up in the ER a couple times with things that shouldn't be that bad (RSV as an adult) but are because of this. She needs insurance and is working her ass off at two minimum wage jobs, even though she's got degrees and is a licensed teacher, she can't find a job doing that because no one needs an English teacher anymore. She's going to have a chance now. I could go on but it's turning into a book. Also realize, finally the insurance companies are actually having limits on what they can charge, they actually have to use it for the person, and return a portion of what they don't use on your insurance.
My FC: I currently have a cat toy on my desk, it's one of those rattle balls that I decided to try the suggestion of giving Charlie and she loves them! She decided to take it with her to daycare this morning, so I had to steal it when we got there and it was making my coat pocket rattle too much. :-)
Also, show of hands, who has PMS right now? I keed, I keed.
Even a minor event in
the life of a child is an event of that child's world and thus a world
event.
Cajun you don't need to explain. I'm appalled that it had come to this.
For serious. I don't think I've ever quoted and agreed with karm but hey, there's a first time for everything! This whole thread is utter nonsense. Udder? Utter. Though udders might be more entertaining to discuss.
I have insurance for me and LO, it's the cheapest plan available, and while it's not perfect, at least it covered us. On our income, it was just barely affordable. I was one of the ones who received a cancellation notice, on top of a rate up-charge for the final 4 months. So much for all the "if you like your plan, you can keep it" bullshit. oh.....wait....I can keep it, but my rate DOUBLES. And we are "too rich" for anything else, so don't even start suggesting that crap - I've looked into everything. Oh, no worries, I can get subsidies - nope, I live in GA and that's not available here.
Cut back on the "extras" you say? Darlin, we don't really have many "extras" - we have basic cable (not enough of a cut back to pay for anything) and no internet.
But around here, I'm irresponsible if I don't have insurance - cool. Good to know. So screw me in the butt hole.
But to those with pre existing conditions, congratulations. I'm happy for you. A few simple law changes could have fixed that without effing up the rest of us.
Well duh, I think 25-year olds being stupid and thinking they'll live forever is a given in life (well actually 27-year olds, 26 and under will still be covered under their parents plan, BOY THANKS OBAMA). That's what they have parents and bossy older sisters for (speaking as the bossy older sister of a 26-year old who WILL be signing up for insurance no matter what).
It's so nice to know that since I am only 25 I am stupid and think I'll live forever. NOT. All the stereotyping and grouping people together under one opinion is starting to piss me off.
She didn't say "ALL 25 year olds"! Would you not agree that in GENERAL 25 yos are still fairly immature? Unseasoned in the lessons of life, if you will? Seriously, everyone is so sensitive today!
Lnd1031, like I said before, it's your state screwing you over when it comes to subsidies. If they were willing to expand Medicaid, you could be eligible. Place the blame on that one where it is deserved!
Re: ~FC~
coming from someone that DID donate I dont care what she did with it. It was a donation!!!
Come the fuck on.
Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10 BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
Rawr. That kind of day around here, huh?
Actually that's not what I'm saying because I didn't donate.
(edited for clarity)
I sent Cajun a card and no money, because we're broke as a joke ourselves right now, but I would have given if I could have. Through personal experience though, I did think to myself, "I'd bet a dollar that someone gets pissed over something Cajun spends all that money on..." Though if I had a dollar I wouldn't really have bet it. I'd have given in to Cajun. Because that's what friends do, goddamnit! What do y'all think this is, fucking Shark Tank??! She didn't ask for the money, and she sure as hell didn't ask for anyone to take any equity out of what little her family has got! Here's a good general rule for any "giving" y'all want to do in the future: If you want a say in what's done with the money, that ain't a gift. You're asking to be an investor. Go be an investor. If you want to be a friend, then be a friend, NO MATTER WHAT. Jesus.
You are deeply and intensely in my prayers. Please keep us updated! You are wise and strong for the choices you've made thus far.
Some bullet points because I just dont really know where to start. (warning im a little annoyed so this will probably be the rudest you've ever witnessed me)
@kiranata you know where I am if you need to talk. I've been there before and it's not easy, we can get you through this.
@kiranata I'm so sorry, but I'm so proud of you for doing what you need to do to keep both you an Alex safe. Keep doing so and stay strong.
Re: Obamacare: I support it, because I have seen what people do when they cannot afford insurance. And for you people who say "Well, we're going to be paying more for healthcare because of this now," realize that you're already paying for people who don't have insurance and go into the ER instead of the doctor because they can't turn people away. And then when the hospital can't get paid from that person, who does it come back on do you think? And I have a couple of friends who need this. One who has sarcoidosis, it was diagnosed after being kicked off her parent's insurance while she was a student and student insurance sucks royally, and couldn't afford private insurance with that pre-existing condition that isn't going to be going away anytime soon. She's ended up in the ER a couple times with things that shouldn't be that bad (RSV as an adult) but are because of this. She needs insurance and is working her ass off at two minimum wage jobs, even though she's got degrees and is a licensed teacher, she can't find a job doing that because no one needs an English teacher anymore. She's going to have a chance now. I could go on but it's turning into a book. Also realize, finally the insurance companies are actually having limits on what they can charge, they actually have to use it for the person, and return a portion of what they don't use on your insurance.
My FC: I currently have a cat toy on my desk, it's one of those rattle balls that I decided to try the suggestion of giving Charlie and she loves them! She decided to take it with her to daycare this morning, so I had to steal it when we got there and it was making my coat pocket rattle too much. :-)
Also, show of hands, who has PMS right now?
I keed, I keed.
Even a minor event in the life of a child is an event of that child's world and thus a world event.
I have insurance for me and LO, it's the cheapest plan available, and while it's not perfect, at least it covered us. On our income, it was just barely affordable. I was one of the ones who received a cancellation notice, on top of a rate up-charge for the final 4 months. So much for all the "if you like your plan, you can keep it" bullshit. oh.....wait....I can keep it, but my rate DOUBLES. And we are "too rich" for anything else, so don't even start suggesting that crap - I've looked into everything.
Oh, no worries, I can get subsidies - nope, I live in GA and that's not available here.
Cut back on the "extras" you say? Darlin, we don't really have many "extras" - we have basic cable (not enough of a cut back to pay for anything) and no internet.
But around here, I'm irresponsible if I don't have insurance - cool. Good to know. So screw me in the butt hole.
But to those with pre existing conditions, congratulations. I'm happy for you. A few simple law changes could have fixed that without effing up the rest of us.
ETA: I am PMS-ing out the yang right now.
She didn't say "ALL 25 year olds"! Would you not agree that in GENERAL 25 yos are still fairly immature? Unseasoned in the lessons of life, if you will? Seriously, everyone is so sensitive today!
I need a drink.
Even a minor event in the life of a child is an event of that child's world and thus a world event.
Just kidding. CONGRATS!!!!!!!
@kiranata I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have no advice but just hugs. Let us know if we can help in any way.