July 2012 Moms

~FC~

Mine is a doosy..after a long talk with my husband last night he's coming home tomorrow. We talked for a few hours going over the pros and cons and both on his side and mine and we just decided that he can do the same thing here without having to sign a contract with that company. He already has his CDL permit so when he gets home he's going to just take the test for his CDL on his own. He's been hearing bad things from the drivers that work for that company and im scared if he signs a contract and gets locked in we'll be worse off in the longrun.

I know some people will think it's irresponsible, but financially as long as im working we are were we normally are. Im making more than I did at my old job so I know if I can balance the budget with my old pay then I also can with more pay. I feel that the decision to do this trucking venture was made out of desperation because one of us NEEDED to do something and this was a easy (not so easy) out. But honestly I really dont care what people think, were miserable. Frankie is miserable, he's been a hot ass mess of a toddler since he left and im over it. My oldest is moving out in two weeks and I need my husband home, in the worst way.

So that's my FC! :)

Share yours!
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Re: ~FC~

  • FC: I called to get Hayden in for his 15 month appointment and the lady said "we'll do his 12 and 15 month shots." I was like, "he already had 12 months." She was like "oh really? Where'd you take him?"
    ...
    I forgot to get my kid his 12 month shots. :(
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  • hijoi said:
    Cajun, you did the right thing. My H is a truck driver and he had nothing but negative things to say about the companies that lock you in. (Unfortunately, I don't see him much so I didn't get a chance to tell him about your situation until late last night, so I couldn't offer any advice.) My FC- I was having bad pee dreams last night/ early this morning and I peed a little in bed. Bed isn't wet, but my pants were. L-)
    Thanks Joi..some of the things he was telling me I just dont think I could handle. Like two months out and 6 days home instead of the 28 and 5, I just cant. Then they exclusively team drive so that was another concern of his.

    Andplusalso i've totally peed in the bed as a adult before. So gross!
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  • lnd1031lnd1031 member
    edited November 2013
    Cajun - If that's the right decision for you and your family, don't you ever feel bad about it. You do what you gotta do.

    My FC: I'm eating my cookie cake for breakfast. It's lame, but it's all I got.

    Oh...I didn't dress my kid up for Halloween. Hell, I wasn't even with my kid last night. He spent the night at his grandparents.

    ETA: I've had the occasional pee dream. So freaking embarrassing.

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  •   How do you forget that?  How do they not call you?  

    We don't have insurance. That's why they didn't call.

    Also, I forgot because we don't have insurance, so we have to budget each trip a few weeks in advance.

    I remember trying to fit it in just after his birthday and it was a tiiiight squeeze, so my mom said she'd send a check. So I waited for the check... and waited... And apparently convinced myself we'd done it some time in August.

    Either way, he's getting $232 worth of shots on the 8th...

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  • FC neither one of my kids have ever had a piece of candy.  Pretty lame.
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  •  Does your state not offer child health insurance?  Even my little state has a program that I would be eligible for paying a sliding scale for well child care.
    Because it's IMPORTANT.

    And depending on the shot schedule you are on - some of them have to be given within certain times of each other or they aren't effective.  

    It's called being a responsible parent.  

    If you don't have insurance and there aren't state programs - you save.  And you call.  
     
     
     
    - I DID save and I DID call. The state programs won't help us because we make "too much money." And it IS a priority.
    BTW: Thank you for teaching me how to be a "responsible parent." That's awesome that you know enough about my personal situation to make such a statement... Jeez...
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  • So now I'm "incredibly" irresponsible.

    I will give you the carseat thing. That was a HUGE eff up and I totally owned that.

    This vaccination thing does not make me irresponsible. Had I forgone several visits or said that I will not have him vaccinated at all, then by all means flame away.

    HOWEVER, it was an honest mistake due in part to our financial situation.

    It is being taken care of now.

     

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  • mandie727 said:
    Rylan hasnt had his 12 month shots. He'll get them this month along with his 15 month. Grant it, I didnt forget but I dont see the big deal. My pedi said as long as they get them by 15 months, no harm done... but maybe she's a whack so who knows.
    I don't know about you but I would feel terrible if my kid had to get 7...yes 7.....shots all at once to cover his 12 month and 15 month shots in one day. That would be a BIG deal to me!
    I have to agree with kimmer.  Getting that many shots at once would be terrible, for me and for LO.
  • I personally don't see the point of withholding the occasional candy from your child. I truly don't think an m&m here and there will hurt them. I can only schedule with my pedi two weeks out so the rest of you can suck it lol. Although I've never had a problem getting in and if I do I take him to my work. I totally took my child's obsession with dogs and took advantage of it so I could finish my study guide. 101 Dalmatians on Netflix=for the first time ever entranced child watching tv. @mrs.sewell have you looked into child only insurance? Most states have it and it is very cheap. You would definitely save money long run. And what do you plan on doing come tax season when you will be paying a fine for lack of insurance? This is an honest question.

    Why did I never think of that! Brilliant!

     

    Also - I have given Will lollipops and other candy. It is a treat. I'm not going to deny him a treat every now and then. I don't see the harm in it.

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  • I'm not going to flame anyone on missing anything, first because it is not my place, and second living in Canada we have "free health care", so I know nothing of having to have insurance to see a doctor or paying to get vaccines. But what I can say is, that we scheduled Becca's 15 month appt 5 days after she turned 15 months, and that day of her 15 month birthday the daycare called inquiring about when I was getting them and flaming me for not getting them done yet. After explaining the situation they calmed down. I guess with daycares like the one we have I will always have backup if I do let something like that slip (which will never happen as I am anal about appts, doctor, dentist, eyes, etc...).

    MY FC today is I have an interview for a job I really want, it's at 2:30, and it is between me and my co-worker, I really hopes she bombs the interview, and they pick me. Another FC- I am debating on whether to tell her she can bring her notes, she is not here, as she took the morning off to prepare, and I am the one who had the initiative to ask about bringing my notes. I say F- her at this point, she only wants the job as some of her friends work on the same floor, and she is never here, comes in and goes and gets breakfast, then coffee, then takes an hour lunch, after takes another 45-1 hour break at 3, only to leave at 4:30.

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  • Smonet said:
    Smonet said:
    Would you like to share your situation? It may help with the understanding? It sounded worse even when you said you make too much to qualify for assistance...

    There are plenty of people who make too much for assistance but not enough to do more than scrape by.
    I'm aware of that, just saying that her comment without support didn't help her argument.


    This is exactly our situation. Too "rich" for assistance. Too "poor" most months for anything above rent, utilities, the car payment, and groceries. We're doing what we can to improve our situation, but for now this is our reality.

    And I don't live in MA so come 2014, we will be doing what we can to get some coverage through the healthcare marketplace.

    My job offers insurance, but I don't qualify until March...

    And that's as far as I'm gonna go with this... Y'all have a good weekend.

     

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  •  

    FC neither one of my kids have ever had a piece of candy.  Pretty lame.
     

    It is what it is.  Gabbi has a ton of food allergies and why risk it.  She does not know what she is missing as of yet...  Joe has yet to be tested and we will cross that road when the time comes.  We are retesting in February and will go from there.  Not a big deal.

     

    Gosh, a ton of haters today.  What is right for one situation is not right for the other.  I think until we walk in someone else's shoes we should flame. 

    mrs. swell do you have access to a health department in your town?  I know for a fact they have clinics for families.  I am not 100% sure of the cost but, may help you out or even work with your family!

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  • At first emery's scared of goats shtick was funny but now its just annoying. I wish she would enjoy stuff like that. I really hope its something she grows out of.
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  • @reinedecajun, I am glad for you. I think you have made right decision and I don't see it is as unresponsible at all - you all will be happier when your DH is back home - and happy family is the most important resposibility. I am sure he will find some work back there in no time.
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  • wheelerc said:
    FC: I called to get Hayden in for his 15 month appointment and the lady said "we'll do his 12 and 15 month shots." I was like, "he already had 12 months." She was like "oh really? Where'd you take him?" ... I forgot to get my kid his 12 month shots. :(

    How do you forget that?  How do they not call you?  



    This. We always schedule Riley's next appointment before we leave the office. Maybe that will help you to not forget? I'm honestly having a hard time not flaming this.
    Me too. I mean you need to be on top of this stuff. You had him in the infant car seat for entirely too long and you should have known better. Now you missed an entire well baby check, you've got to be a little more on top of it. My fc is that it's the first of the month, mid quarter, and I plan on doing nothing today. My boss is out of the office and DH and I are having a date tonight so I'm saving energy for that so I can carry a good conversation and actually try to stay awake. My marriage > work today.
    My confession is, I'm not hating, but I feel like you say this a lot.

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  •  

    FC neither one of my kids have ever had a piece of candy.  Pretty lame.
     

    It is what it is.  Gabbi has a ton of food allergies and why risk it.  She does not know what she is missing as of yet...  Joe has yet to be tested and we will cross that road when the time comes.  We are retesting in February and will go from there.  Not a big deal.

     

    Gosh, a ton of haters today.  What is right for one situation is not right for the other.  I think until we walk in someone else's shoes we should flame. 

    mrs. swell do you have access to a health department in your town?  I know for a fact they have clinics for families.  I am not 100% sure of the cost but, may help you out or even work with your family!

    Again, I stick with my advice of trying one piece of candy followed by an Epi pen until you find something that works :)

    Maybe it would toughen her up!!!

     

    ETA---****shouldn't is what my previous post should say.

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  • wmel13 said:
    My H and I dropped Matthew off at daycare and we are on our way to Disneyland. We'll be back to pick him up before 6.
    What a fun date!  I'm so jealous that's something you can do in a day.  Have a blast!
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  • mrs. swell do you have access to a health department in your town?  I know for a fact they have clinics for families.  I am not 100% sure of the cost but, may help you out or even work with your family!

    The doctor we see participates with the Health Department's vaccination for uninsured children program. They still charge a $14.95 "administrative fee" plus the office visit fee because we're so freakin "rich."

     


     

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  • lkamenkolkamenko member
    edited November 2013

    Oh. I responded to cajuns confession and then went back an read all the posts. Jeez, what happened to "No Flame" part of our FC?

    I will repeat that I don't see Cajuns decision as irresponsible at all.

    @Mrs.Sewell, I have skipped the well being appointment before - it is not such a big deal if you ask me.

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  • mrs. swell do you have access to a health department in your town?  I know for a fact they have clinics for families.  I am not 100% sure of the cost but, may help you out or even work with your family!

    The doctor we see participates with the Health Department's vaccination for uninsured children program. They still charge a $14.95 "administrative fee" plus the office visit fee because we're so freakin "rich."

     


     


    That is sad.  I am sorry your having to deal with this. 
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  • RTaylor12 said:
    Mine is a doosy..after a long talk with my husband last night he's coming home tomorrow. We talked for a few hours going over the pros and cons and both on his side and mine and we just decided that he can do the same thing here without having to sign a contract with that company. He already has his CDL permit so when he gets home he's going to just take the test for his CDL on his own. He's been hearing bad things from the drivers that work for that company and im scared if he signs a contract and gets locked in we'll be worse off in the longrun.

    I know some people will think it's irresponsible, but financially as long as im working we are were we normally are. Im making more than I did at my old job so I know if I can balance the budget with my old pay then I also can with more pay. I feel that the decision to do this trucking venture was made out of desperation because one of us NEEDED to do something and this was a easy (not so easy) out. But honestly I really dont care what people think, were miserable. Frankie is miserable, he's been a hot ass mess of a toddler since he left and im over it. My oldest is moving out in two weeks and I need my husband home, in the worst way.

    So that's my FC! :)

    Share yours!

    Ok... I wasn't going to say anything but here it goes:

     

    Girl I love you, you know I do. But I can't get behind this. After seeing you struggle with money so much recently, I just can't. I get how hard it must be with him gone. I really do, but if you need the money you need the money. And based on how hard you struggled before, it seems like you do need it.

    Sorry - everyone can yell at me for being a bitch bag... but I hate to see you suffer again through money troubles when you could take what he's making and sock it away in a rainy day fund. 

    So, again, I say this from a place of love, but I just can't get behind this one.

    I agree it's a bad decision. I also think it's a slap in the face to the people that sent you money to help during tough times. Especially when that money (at least some of it) seemed to go to your H when he made the trip to start the trucking job.
    Sorry @adorebella, I normally get along well with you, but fuck a whole lot of this confession. It's one thing to say you think it's a bad idea for big F to quit his job, but saying that it's a slap in the face for people who sent money is just such bullshit. Speak for yourself and not the rest of us. It's none of my business the decisions she makes for the well being of her family (well being meaning financially AND emotionally) and I'm glad I sent the money and would do it again in a heartbeat for any one of you who needed it, and I would also save my judgements as to what you do with the money. IMO since she just got a new job and is in the same financial spot she was in before big F lost his job, it's not an irresponsible financial decision anyway.

    Guess it's time for my confession, and it goes along well with this. You may have all remembered our recent financial struggles with H losing his job. Well, he got a new job and has been there for like 4 weeks. He absolutely hates it and I just gave him permission to quit. He's been working 14 hour days for peanuts, misses Taylor like crazy, and he plans on waiting tables at his old restaurant until he can find something that makes more sense for us. Financially responsible? Maybe not. But it's what we have to do for our family and our sanity. Thank God no one offered donations our way because I'm sure you would all make me feel like shit for it. Fuck this board today.
    I see nothing wrong with waiting tables.  Sad truth I made more waiting tables then I did as a second grade teacher in a private school.  
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  • We are crabby today! It's the same in my house.

    My FFFC is that DS got up at 1 last night crying and wouldn't calm down, so I brought him in bed with us for the first time. It was so nice for like 10 minutes because he was so snuggly and sweet, and then the rest of the time he took up all the space and kept kicking us. So it won't happen again anytime soon, lol.

    Another one - when I go to someone's house that's nicer than mine in the same neighborhood, I check what they paid for it online. It's super rude but I want to make sure we got a good deal!
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  • mrsrek10 said:
    I don't normally chime in on FFFC because well, I don't have many "confessions". And what I am about to say may actually be a UO versus a FFFC.

    I hear so many talk about how other moms should be supportive of each other. How moms should realize how hard it is to manage/juggle all the roles and responsibilities added to us once we have babies. How the "mommy wars" should end. How we should share important information with moms who don't know something (but share in a caring way, not a harsh/judgmental way). How much moms hate to be judged for their parenting style, all while quickly judging others. How many moms don't want their MIL, SIL, friend, coworker, etc. to say things in ways that makes them feel like their choices are "bad" or to point out every mistake...but these same moms are so quick to do the same to others.

    It just bugs me. It is one thing to kindly disagree on a topic. It is another to pull your claws out and attack. I hate "group mentality" where everyone feels the need to pile on someone for a "mistake"...esp. one the mom is trying to rectify...whether it meets your personal standards of rectification or not.

    Also, can you even imagine how stressful it must feel to not be able to provide insurance for your child? To struggle to feed and shelter your family? Don't you think she has enough stress without everyone acting like she doesn't give a shit about her kid? While you may do everything right, we are all one bad economy move, job loss, illness, something... away from not being so fortunate to not have to worry about our necessities. Believe it or not, there are people in this country who make more than the poverty level but live from paycheck to paycheck just to survive. They can not utilize the governmental services bc they are above the poverty level yet they can't afford the several hundred dollars for private insurance/help. How stressful and miserable, I thank God that I am blessed with this security.

    Also, the ones touting the insurance exchange.. have you known anyone who has shopped on it? I have.. I have friends who are losing their insurance in January bc of the changes and all of them checking the insurance market exchange have premiums that have at least doubled from what they are paying now and will have their deductibles raised. It is not going to help the people you think it will help. The lower middle class is going to get screwed.

    Sorry, I blame my pms but this rubbed me wrong today.


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  • While I probably would have just put up with MH being gone for awhile, we don't know the specifics of @reindecajun's husband's contract with this company, etc.  Yes, Big F took some of that money with him, but Lil Frankie may have gotten a meal or two out of my contribution, and because of that realization, I don't feel as though I've been slapped in the face.  It's easy to say what someone else should have done or what you would do in the situation, but without getting into the nitty gritty of anyone's situation, you really have no idea.

    I completely agree! I don't care how the money was used.  I know that it was used for things that they needed and that is what matters to me.  If having her H home is the best for their family then I respect that decision. 
  • adorebellaadorebella member
    edited November 2013
    RTaylor12 said:
    Sorry @adorebella, I normally get along well with you, but fuck a whole lot of this confession. It's one thing to say you think it's a bad idea for big F to quit his job, but saying that it's a slap in the face for people who sent money is just such bullshit. Speak for yourself and not the rest of us. It's none of my business the decisions she makes for the well being of her family (well being meaning financially AND emotionally) and I'm glad I sent the money and would do it again in a heartbeat for any one of you who needed it, and I would also save my judgements as to what you do with the money. IMO since she just got a new job and is in the same financial spot she was in before big F lost his job, it's not an irresponsible financial decision anyway. 

    Guess it's time for my confession, and it goes along well with this. You may have all remembered our recent financial struggles with H losing his job. Well, he got a new job and has been there for like 4 weeks. He absolutely hates it and I just gave him permission to quit. He's been working 14 hour days for peanuts, misses Taylor like crazy, and he plans on waiting tables at his old restaurant until he can find something that makes more sense for us. Financially responsible? Maybe not. But it's what we have to do for our family and our sanity. Thank God no one offered donations our way because I'm sure you would all make me feel like shit for it. Fuck this board today.
    First of all, I did speak for myself. I stated my opinion on what I thought was a bad decision. I agree that what someone does regarding their own family isn't my business but I'm going to have an opinion when they put every detail on the internet. 

    Though I find it hard to believe that someone isn't going to judge when a person is in jeopardy of not feeding their family, yet celebrates with a bottle of Jack at the same time - is that what you wanted your money going to? For the record, I didn't donate but I can guarantee that would burn me up.

    It's a brand new job with likely little security in the beginning. A first paycheck hasn't even rolled in. Get stable and don't make impulsive decisions. 

    *Edit, that last line was not directed at you. As far as your situation goes I don't think it was a bad call to wait tables. Working is working. 



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  • Laurski81 said:
    My marriage in the Dominican Republic will not be legal.  That means my SO and I will be getting legally married beforehand, just the two of us in the courthouse (the state of CT does not require witnesses) and we have already scheduled it with a JP.  No one (other than all of you) knows this.  As far as I am concerned the legal proceeding in the courthouse is just paperwork...the ceremony on the 14th of December will be when we are actually married.
    No shame! I was legally married for over 2 years before my wedding. Doing it that way will take SO much pressure off of the actual wedding and you can just enjoy yourself.



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