GTKY: Changing your name after marriage (or not!)

oneblessedmess · October 2013

So, after nearly five months of marital bliss, I finally got around to changing my name.

It took me a while to decide what I was going to do, since I do like my maiden name, but I wanted to share a name with my husband and future children. I thought about hyphenating or making my maiden name my middle name, but I already have two middle names (which I'm actually more attached to than my maiden name) so it would have just ended up being too much name for me.

So! What did you ladies do with your names after your got married, or what do you think you will do?

TravelingCouple · October 2013

I took DH's name because I like it. It suits me more than my maiden name. Plus, I wouldn't want to have a different last name than our kids.

oneblessedmess · October 2013

Apparently I can't edit polls but I also wanted to ask, whatever choice you made, did you have a tough time making a decision, or did you always know that's what you were going to do?

TeeJ526 · October 2013

I took my husband's last name. There was some sentiment to it; I liked the idea of sharing a name as my husband and future children, but was some logic behind it as well. Prior to getting married, I had a long ass hyphenated name (a product of my mother's maiden name and my step-dad's name) and I since my step-dad turned out to be schmuck later in life, I really felt the need to ditch the name.

beckynsean11 · October 2013

I took MH's last name & moved my maiden name to middle name, dropped my middle name. Keeping it all was too much name for one person.

My maiden was frequently mispronounced, so I was happy to take his easy name.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

Took DH's name, and kept my middle name instead of my maiden name

jaytee16 · October 2013

I took my husband's last name but also kept my own, so I technically have two last names now.

EmeJay · October 2013

SS - It's illegal where I live!

oneblessedmess · October 2013

EmeJay said:

SS - It's illegal where I live!

?? Where is it illegal to take your husband's last name?

divinemsbee · October 2013

beckynsean11 said:

I took MH's last name & moved my maiden name to middle name, dropped my middle name. Keeping it all was too much name for one person.

My maiden was frequently mispronounced, so I was happy to take his easy name.

That's what I did. I didn't like the idea of being First Middle HisLast because that makes me feel like I was born with his last name and I wanted to keep mine. My mom dropped her first name, goes by her middle name, moved her maiden name to middle and took my dad's last name. They've been divorced for over 15 years and she's remarried, but still has my dad's last name. She's had it her whole adult life.

seventhumbs · October 2013

Hyphenate. I wasn't willing to give up my maiden name altogether but wanted to have part of my name be the same as my kids'. We might hyphenate our kids' names.

I have found that NOTHING triggers unwarranted judginess like name-change discussions. Everyone has got an unwelcome opinion about that shit. Like, dude: it's not your goddamn name. It especially pisses me off when MEN get judgy about name changing. STEP OFF if I want to keep my maiden name, person-with-penis-who-will-never-be-expected-to-change-his-name...

lebradford · October 2013

I wouldn't have had a problem taking H's name, but my son (from a previous relationship) has my maiden name as his last name, so I hyphenated. However, I just have my students call me Mrs. HsLastName.

oneblessedmess · October 2013

NachoBelley said:

I'm a special snowflake because we've been married a year now, and I STILL have not changed my name. Not because I don't want to, just I am a huge procrastinator, and it's not something I think about. We have been together almost 8 years, and engaged most of those years, so I've felt married this whole time. I think I'm going to do it as a "gift" to my DH at Christmas!

That would be cute! I texted my husband a picture of my new driver's license haha. Too bad I liked my old driver's license picture better...

Milagros315 · October 2013

I didn't change my name and I don't have any plans or desire to change it. Maybe I'll feel differently after we have kids, but I doubt it. If I ever do change it I will do the same as @jaytee16 and have two last names, no hyphenation.

BlckRoses · October 2013

I hyphenated and it's been a pain in the ass at times. I tend to just go by Mrs Smith for most things.
I thought my first name sounded stupid with Smith and my maiden name connects me to my Hispanic heritage. DH didn't care either way and left it up to me.

Vonbabe · October 2013

I took my husband's name after being married for 3 years. I didn't have a particular reason. I guess just laziness. When we were moving with the military, I figured us having the same last name would make things a lot easier. Plus it was easier for me to make the transition then due to being in between jobs.

MrsMac613 · October 2013

It took me a few months to change my name too. I took my husband's last name. It isn't as common as my maiden name and I hate that I always have to spell it out over the phone. I was glad to change it though because I wanted to have the same last name and DH and our future children. It also made it feel more like we are a family.

BlackBooks · October 2013

Special snowflake here. I changed my name to maiden husband's. Two words without a hyphen. My pet peeve is when people try to hyphenate it. Not a big deal at the salon or something but I just got a new voter registration card with a hyphen. I need to send it back with a correction because I don't want it incorrect on a legal document. I don't mind being called Mrs. Husband, though.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

The user and all related content has been deleted.

TJD12 · October 2013

As cool as this would be, I just took DH's last name.

bwo · October 2013

beckynsean11 said:

I took MH's last name & moved my maiden name to middle name, dropped my middle name. Keeping it all was too much name for one person.

My maiden was frequently mispronounced, so I was happy to take his easy name.

Same here. However, my MIL still has problems understanding this and frequently hyphenates my last name....so annoying!

lisamarie84 · October 2013

It took me over a year to change my name because I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do. I ended up just dropping my maiden name and taking the hubby's.

WinningColors · October 2013

I took my husband's name and changed my middle name to my maiden name.

EmeJay · October 2013

AMazeOfGrace said:

EmeJay said:

SS - It's illegal where I live!

?? Where is it illegal to take your husband's last name?

Quebec since 1981

bunkgirl · October 2013

Mine is hyphenated but I don't mind being called Mrs. H'slastname and DS only has H's last name to make things easier which was my choice. I love my name before and now!

brownmouse · October 2013

cjchio said:

I liked his name, I wanted to share the same name with out future kids and him,and my last name was hard to pronounce. It was an easy choice.

Pretty much this exactly. My maiden name is a french name and hard for most people to pronounce, and his name was short and simple which I liked. I also have 4 brothers so it's not like our last name needs to be passed on.

ddubzz · October 2013

Took hubby's last name and tacked on my maiden name to my middle name. I didn't want to completely lose my family name. Yup, my official name is now 5 "names" long.

turtles7 · October 2013

It took me almost a year to change my last name to dh's. My maiden name was already hyphenated so there was no way I was going to add his name to mine. I don't have a middle name and wasn't interested in adding one.

knitsandgiggles · October 2013

I took DH's name which was already hyphenated because his mother kept her last name, but combined her and FIL's last names for their children. So I'm already Mrs. Hyphenated-Name. If I had decided to not add my name to the mix and end up with 3 last names.

Both names are pretty easy, but together it just makes one long name. Applications for everything can be beastly, but it is what it is.

As Emme grows, we'll just be known as Mr. And Mrs. Samelastnameasdaughter. DD just has FIL's last name to help simplify things.

themrsJRD · October 2013

Mine is first middle maiden married name. My maiden is a second middle name. Didn't like the thought of losing it. My sister did the same thing. I hope our last sister keeps the tradition. Lol.

WolFox · October 2013

Kept mine exactly the same....

laurenstar18 · October 2013

I made my maiden name my middle name. It's typical for Filipino women to make their maiden name their middle name and pass it down to their children. We usually have 2 first names, mom's maiden name, then dad's last name which equals a really long name lol. When we get married, we usually drop our middle name (mom's maiden name). I hope that makes sense.

I actually like having a long name.

frenchy816 · October 2013

I took DH's name and use my maiden name and my middle name as middle names so I look like:

First name middle name maiden name last name. I didn't want to lose either my middle name or my maiden name so I chose not to drop either.

Ceridwen21 · October 2013

In my province, marriage is not considered to be a legitimate reason to legally change your name. Some people change it "socially" but you can't change it on any legal documents. Suits me just fine. I wouldn't have changed it anyway. Many people hyphenate their children's names but we didn't. DS has DH's last name, and it's no big deal for me to have a different name because it's obviously very common here two have two names in one family unit.

rw7y · October 2013

In my husband's culture (and also our religion) the woman doesn't usually take her husband's name. I still have my maiden name, but I am considering changing it in the future.

Another interesting thing is that all of our children (doesn't matter on gender) will have my husband's first name as their middle name.

coopsbaby · October 2013

The first time I got married I was so excited to change my name because my maiden is a variation of a common last name and people always got it wrong (they actually taught me to spell it wrong in kindergarten and I had to relearn it!) ExH's name is very easy to spell, but it's a noun, not a name, so people always got it wrong and I still had to spell it (think Tree, that's not it but close enoughto get the idea.) Add that to the fact that we had a bad marriage and his family is pretty trashy, I went straight back to my maiden with the divorce.

Dh thought I'd want to keep my maiden, but I wanted his name BAD! It's super common, easy to spell, and everybody gets it right. I love not having to spell my name for everybody!I have no interest in hyphens or making anything difficult, but I did love my maiden so I dropped my middlewhich was gag me awful and kept my maiden as middle.

Lottie&Paul · October 2013

I kept my name, even though it's hard to spell/pronounce, and my husband's isn't. I didn't see any reason to change it; having the same name doesn't make us any more of a a family. In my teaching days I saw students with a different surname than one of their parents all of the time - for a variety of different reasons - and it was not a big deal. Sometimes people call me Mrs. Hislastname, and it doesn't bother me.

Valancyy · October 2013

I couldn't wait to take my husband's name. My maiden name is the same as a famous actor's and since I was a kid I would hear, "are you related to _____?" I was so excited to change it. Plus, I really like my husband's name and it sounds prettier with my first name.

Vanellope · October 2013

I took H's last name. My father and I aren't close and my moms remarried. My baby brothers have my stepdads last name so I was the odd ball. I also wanted my kids and I to have the same name.

BankerBSN · October 2013

I had a really hard time changing my name and I wish I made my maiden name my middle name.

catmagick · October 2013

I made my maiden name my middle name and took H's last name. Mine was always confusing people, but H's is worse. I loved my maiden name, but I wanted to be a mrs. Sometimes I regret it a little bit because I was very attached to my maiden name, and H's name is very Polish which I am not even a little bit. Even H is only like 1/16 Polish! But I wanted us to have a family name, so ergo the change. If he had had a lame or boring last name I wouldn't have taken it though.