Baby Shower advice

JuliaAndPete · October 2013

I feel like we're cutting it very close!

MFM dr said we could have these modi girls anytime between 32-36 weeks. Which would put me anywhere between Jan 14-Feb 11th.

My baby shower is supposed to be January 5th. Am I screwed?

What should I do?

mommaoftrips · October 2013

Granted I was a triplet pregnancy but I know other moms with twins, if I were you and you are to - I would move it up. You never know if your body/cervix will cooperate. You don't want to miss having a shower, so have it early. Even if, and I hope everything stays the same and you have a great twin pregnancy, it doesn't hurt to have your shower early. GL

PinkinProvence · October 2013

Do it as early as possible otherwise you might not be there. I was put on bedrest 4 days after my shower at 28 weeks with di/di twins. If it was just one weekend later, it would have had to been canceled.

24karat · October 2013

I would see if your hosts can change it. If not (I assume the original date is due to holiday season) maybe see if they can come up with an alternate date for after the babies arrive just in case the girls come before the original shower date? My shower was at 28 weeks and I was put on MBR by 26 weeks. I only got special permission to attend because it was being hosted by my next door neighbor.

LucyRicardo3 · October 2013

I had some sweet friends offer to throw me a very casual dinner and diaper "sprinkle" since the twins were not my first, but we didn't get around to it as I told them if they really wanted to do something, to plan early since I had a history of PTL and also b/c of it being twins. They wanted to wait until 30 ish weeks, but I was hospitalized at 24 due to funneling/shortening/PTL and all of that jazz.

Definitely move it up to 28 wks if at all possible, even with the holidays going on.

JuliaAndPete · October 2013

Crap this is what I was afraid of.

raraavis28 · October 2013

Trust me, even if everything goes swimmingly, you're not gonna want to do all the organizing, nursery set-up etc. at 30+ weeks. If it's at all possible, I'd try to move the date up. Mine was at 25 weeks and that was the perfect time, both for enjoying the party (though I was exhausted afterwards!) and for giving me enough time to get everything together....I was put on MBR at 30 wks so my productivity really declined then.

JuliaAndPete · October 2013

Yeah just spoke with my mom and sister and they refuse to change the date. Apparently they'll just have it with out me. Awesome. They said they would set everything up and do everything for me which is awesome and I'm grateful but I'm just feeling a little left out. My mother kept saying "some people never have baby showers" and yet she's blowing a ton of money on one where I won't even get to go. I'd rather have her cancel it at this point and not waste time or money. So annoyed.

PinkinProvence · October 2013

That sucks. Maybe you can show her this thread so she understands that these are real life stories and not one person here would have made it to their shower at that point in the pregnancy.

Can someone else host it for you earlier if she refuses! It is so silly to plan it without you there. I am sure the guests would want to see you!

iloveburritos · October 2013

They would have the shower without you? I wouldn't even go to a shower if the mom-to-be wasn't going to be there, especially if it was because she was on bed rest. I would visit and deliver the gift to her in person!

zazu13 · October 2013

@JuliaAndPete. I'm sorry they're being inflexible. Hope the babies cooperate and you won't have to miss out on anything, though. I had a shower tentatively planned at 32 weeks but after all the advice here, I talked with my friend and she agreed to move it up 4 weeks.

JuliaAndPete · October 2013

My sister is cooperating more than my mother. I'm the youngest so I get looked over a lot.

Mcsweets · October 2013

MrsLee04 said:

With twins all showers should be done by 28w. Ask your host(s) if they can change the date.

This is what we're doing - mine is right at 28w... I didn't want to wait too long. I would try to bump it up if you can.

sushilover0214 · October 2013

I'm sorry they're not being cooperative.

Robin&Bill · October 2013

I'm 26 weeks now and I am having my shower this weekend. I'm so thankful we are doing it early because I'm already not feeling so great and would hate to have my friends set something up and have to cancel! I hope your mom changes her mind!

LucyRicardo3 · October 2013

ugh, I'm sorry your mother is acting like this.
I agree with PP, as a guest, if I knew that the mother to be was not going to be there, I would send my regrets. IMHO sounds like your hostess is being a teeeeeny bit selfish

Has she been to any of your MFM or OB appointments with you? Does she grasp this timeline is what's best for you and her grandbabies? I've been fortunate to not have to deal with something like this from my mom, but my exhusband needed a good reality check when I was on bedrest with my first child due to PTL and my nurses and OB at that time gave him a good scolding for not stepping up and giving me a break with household stuff. (Hence one of the many reasons we didn't stay married for very long, but that's an entirely different post

)
:-?

JuliaAndPete · October 2013

My oldest sister and my mom are hosting this shower. My oldest sister is being very cooperative and is willing to do whatever I need.

My mother however, just blew up at me because she's mad that my doctor said I could give birth at 32 weeks and called him an idiot. She has reluctantly rescheduled my shower to December 8th. This was scheduled around my middle sister's trip to SanFran to go visit a friend because apparently that's more important. And my middle sister is pissed about the change.

In reality, it's not my freakin choice to have my daughters born at 32 weeks. Frankly, me and husband are terrified of this. The insensitivity to that concept from my mother and middle sister is astounding. They're incredibly annoyed by this. My mother complained that no one will come if it's short notice and before Christmas. So she would rather have everyone else there and not me.

I have to stop thinking about this. She said even more WAY worse stuff. I have a head ache and I feel like I'm going to throw up. I feel like me and children are an inconvenience at this point. This is my life as the youngest.

Thank God for my mother in law. She has been my savior through all of this.

raraavis28 · October 2013

Wow that sucks! I am so sorry....who is mean to pregnant ladies, seriously?? And to their own daughter? Sending big hugs!

MrsCali_Bride · October 2013

MrsLee04 said:

I'm so sorry you're being treated like this...and by your own family. Honestly if someone was treating me like that, I would probably flat out decline their shower. It sounds like it's causing you more stress than it's worth!

Ditto this. Also, five weeks notice is not what I would call short notice. Tell her to send out the invitations in the next week or so and she should be fine. If people can't make it, then they can't make it.

mpetri · October 2013

I had my last shower at 29 weeks very next week with on MBR. Was 2cm and 70% ...after that was in and out of the hospital for next 5 weeks delivered my Girls at 35 weeks.

Topanga · October 2013

If it is any consolation, I am 35 weeks today with mono di twins and doing fine. No bedrest and I stop working from home tomorrow. Good luck!

caden · October 2013

If they won't move it try not to stress. I'd maybe ask one more time and tell them your OB would prefer it moved. But if they won't then just let whatever happens happen. My shower was at 27w IIRC and I was already on BR and had been for weeks. It wouldn't have mattered if the shower had been at 30something weeks. The chances of the shower not working out at 30+ weeks are higher but there's also a good chance your OB would let you attend, so long as you're not on SBR.

Jess63085 · October 2013

I would try to move it sooner if possible. I had mine at 28 weeks, and my OB said that was pushing it.

kgs0505 · October 2013

Will you be 30ish weeks then? You will probably be okay, just tired. I wouldn't do it much later though. I had mine around 32 weeks? About a month before the girls came (35w6d). It was fine. Most of the big stuff was already done, since we took care of the furniture ourselves. The stuff from the showers was stuff we needed a litlle later, and mostly involved me doing laundry (we got a lot of clothes). I was on bedrest by then, but everything worked out. I had people to lug stuff around for me, and my step-MIL helped me organize all the clothes. My husband installed the carseats. Nothing else was super critical to have done before we got home.

KatieGummow · October 2013

We had a family friend who was put on bed rest, so they had to cancel her shower and throw it for her after the babies were born! I would move it up for sure!

tootsscott · November 2013

I just had mine at 29w (im 30w5d now) and wish I'd done it earlier.. I was okay at the shower (except for the multiple trips to the bathroom during presents, how embarrassing), but putting everything away afterward has been a pain in my ass.. and breaking down boxes etc. It's too much!

JuliaAndPete · November 2013

My mother finally came around and pretended nothing happened. She didn't apologize but she moved the shower up to December 8th. I'll be 27 weeks.

Now to register as fast as possible.

CaliCarly77 · November 2013

I'm having mine next week, I will be 29w3d weeks. I am mobile, I feel fine, no bed rest and should have no problem attending. We haven't started our nursery, hopefully this kicks me in the butt to do something, then again, babies wont care that the nursery isn't done when they get here (as long as we have the basics!)

megs2011 · November 2013

I had mine at 27 weeks and that's the latest I think I would want to have it. After that I started to get really tired and sore. I also had the twins at 34w4d too and it was unexpected. I'd ask to move it.

sunkiss674 · November 2013

I had two out of town showers. My first one was very early at around 19w in Syracuse, NY. We had a family party planned so it just worked out to have a small shower at the same time. My next shower was in Buffalo, NY and I was 24w. I felt pretty good still. Both my mom and sister had it early because we were all concerned about possible PTL, bedrest, or travel restrictions. Recently we had a small shower in Charlotte, NC (this is where I live) only like 10 people and I was 28 weeks. I definitely agree with everyone else the earlier the better. The 28w shower I was ok but I definitely was very tired and was happy that the shower was only 3 hours and done.

Just an FYI my grandma passed away in Syracuse, NY recently (I just hit 29w when it happened) and my OB advised me not to travel that far. So you just have to be ready for anything and everything because you just don't know what can happen everyone has different pregnancies.

oh and sorry you are having to deal with this I think people who never carried twins just don't understand how hard it really is.

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