August 2012 Moms

Hair Pulling

Hi all,

My 15 month old son has been pulling hair at daycare (and also some at home with me but not as often as at daycare)...when he does it, my daycare provider sternly says no and he will just laugh/smile and then try to do it again. I have told her to remove him from the playroom every time he does it, but it does not seem to be working and I am ready to pull my own hair out!! lol...any suggestions for other things to try?? I know when he is doing it at daycare the kids are screaming (which is understandable as I'm sure it hurts)but that is just giving him a reaction, and reinforcing it...I'm at a loss..

Re: Hair Pulling

  • I could have written this post.

    I SAH so DD doesn't do it to anyone other than me or DH.

    We've redirected. We've put her in timeout. We are at a loss at this point as well so I will be interested to see what others say.

    My grandma saw her tug on me the other day and told me to pull her hair back- not hard, just a little tug. I haven't done it yet. I'm too scared :( plus I don't think she'd put the 2 together! hahaha.


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  • I have heard to pull his hair back but then I read that that's the worst thing you can do! Ahhh i'm losing my mind lol and my daycare provider is clearly getting frustrated but its like..she is with him all day, I can't discipline him 2 hours after it happened!
  • Yes, it happens daily, along with hitting in the face and pinching. I also stay at home, so it mainly happens to me and is worse when she's tired. As soon as she does it, I tell her sternly, "No, that hurts" and immediately set her on the floor and walk away and ignore her. She will start to fuss and come after me, and if she does it again I repeat it. After going through this twice, she seems to stop. For us, setting her on the floor and ignoring her is key, because if I just tell her "No", she will laugh and do it again.
  • I have taught him to gently pet something when I say "nice, nice".  Its kind of creepy, but it usually works if he is pulling hair or pinching, he will pet instead.  If it doesnt I just say no and hold his hand back away from my face.  I don't think at this age they are cognitively advanced enough to make the connection between the pain they feel when they get their hair pulled and not wanting to cause pain to someone else, and therefore not pullng hair.   If anything I would think it would reinforce the bahavior
    image image
  • Becc77 said:
    Yes, it happens daily, along with hitting in the face and pinching. I also stay at home, so it mainly happens to me and is worse when she's tired. As soon as she does it, I tell her sternly, "No, that hurts" and immediately set her on the floor and walk away and ignore her. She will start to fuss and come after me, and if she does it again I repeat it. After going through this twice, she seems to stop. For us, setting her on the floor and ignoring her is key, because if I just tell her "No", she will laugh and do it again.
    I do this exact same thing, and T reacts the exact same way.  It works for us. I also read somewhere to put on a very stern face and shake your head "no" to reinforce it. I will sometimes do a finger wag as well. 
    image

  • We've had a lot of acting out the last week or so, too. Biting (he's getting a molar), head butting (DH's aunt taught him to "touch heads" while we were gone...hello! 1 year olds don't have a lot of fine motor skills), hitting, pinching. I try the "gentle" approach when he hits and sometimes I just put him down. I'm hoping once this tooth comes through all the way and he adjusts to his new daycare that he'll chill out.
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