Who is done having kids?

[Deleted User] · October 2013

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NortyLeigh · October 2013

This will be our second and they will be 14 months apart. We are done at two. DH and I both have one sibling and never saw ourselves with more than two kids for many reasons. We will have two boys so I'm a little sad that I will never have a daughter, but two is definitely enough for us!

bumpuser9058414 · October 2013

I'm 99% sure we are done. Financially, we cannot afford more since we have to pay for full time daycare. It's just so hard to make that decision permanent. I just turned 31 so I do have some time left if we did decide on another. I think perhaps I'll get an IUD for a year or two, just to be sure and then have H get a vasectomy. I am very wishy washy with decisions so to make the decision to never have more children scares me so much.

amberlynnr7 · October 2013

This is only our second and I am thinking this may be "it" for us. I'm only 21, but I just can't imagine having more than this. I would be content with my family this way.

ceh789 · October 2013

If you both don't feel completely done, I'd do an IUD. It's so easy and has a low failure and low complication rate - I do badly (emotionally and weight gain wise) on hormonal BC so I had the copper and absolutely will do it again.

Nickiechan · October 2013

I kind of have the same feeling as you. I've been pregnant 5 times. One pregnancy being 17 weeks when we loss our first daughter. It was pretty depressing time and just overwhemling with emotions... after miscarrying 3x before DS it was very stressful during DS's pregnancy. I also wasn't at my healthiest due to depression and such.... With this pregnancy I am healthier, however I'm still having the hip issues I had with DS. That is really our breaking point for us... if I am wheelchair bound with this one, I doubt that we will attempt to have another. We always said we couldn't afford to have more then 2, so I don't think we will have more. I think 2 is a good number financially for our family. DH said he will be getting snipped for me... he knows my stance on BC and I've been on some sort of hormonal BC since I was 15 (when we started dating), so he has stepped up.

TradeMama · October 2013

We thought we were done at 4 but he's not sure. I'm tired of being pregnant but don't want that to be the motivation so we are doing an iud. If he turns 40 and we aren't ready for more, he gets snipped. (He's 38.)

MayKay12 · October 2013

We are done after this one. It will be our 3rd and dh is dead set on no more. I wouldn't mind 4, but he is not giving me that option. I am very happy to at least have my 3

katykatykaty · October 2013

We originally agreed before this pregnancy that if we had a boy this time, we would stop at 2. (I hope I don't get flamed for that... we just wanted to experience having both a girl and a boy.) But now that it is a boy, we're both reconsidering. I think it will depend on how things go once we actually have two kids. Either way, we will be done for a long while, and I think I'll get an IUD.

ProudMommy030614 · October 2013

We have 2 boys ages 10 and almost 8. After this LO we are done, and I am getting my tubes tied. It's bitter sweet but we both figured that if we wanted more children after this adoption is the way we would go.

jwls84 · October 2013

I know I want at least one more! I could have 4 or 5 if my husband would let me. I think 3 will be it for us, but being pregnant with 2 right now is really hard on me, nothing like the first was. Either way I won't have another until B is in school! So 3 more years before we cross that bridge.

ChristineRich06 · October 2013

DH has three from his previous marriage. They are 22, 20 & 18. Ours together are 5 & 2. I have two brothers and always thought I would have three myself. My youngest SD just left for college but will live with us when she is home on breaks. I'm 32 but DH is 42, this will be our last. I will miss being pregnant and nursing a baby. I will not miss getting up in the middle of the night or most of the whole second year.

clo1982 · October 2013

We are both certain that we are done. However, after talking to my dr last time I may hold off on getting my tubes tied (im having a c/s so they are already in there). I may just look into an IUD as PP said. I don't want to be pregnant again and we are both happy with 2 kids as this has always been our plan. My dr brought up something I hadn't really thought of though. She said 'if you lost this baby after a few months, or something happened to your daughter, would there even be a slight possibility you would want another down the road?' That just made me think a little bit because I'm only 31 and, God forbid something happened, I may want DD or this little one to have a sibling a few years down the road. So our plan hasn't changed in terms of how many we want, but we may just hold off on making it permanent for the time being.

marisha1021 · October 2013

LOs will be 17 months apart.. and we will have one girl and one boy. Thinking that this may be it. I am an "older" mama (side bar: mid 30s is normal in NYC to have kids though, so I never thought of myself as older until I joined TB). Anyways... I have so little energy now, I can't imagine how it will be pregnant with 2 toddlers.

kelley72 · October 2013

I'm not sure... gasp. I am 41 and this is my 5th child my dh's first and he is 48. We would really love to have another child (or more) but bc of my age and his we don't even know if it is possible. I will NEVER (yes I know what they say about saying never) do anything permanent to my body nor will my dh. We will let nature decide for us. If I had a pregnancy and miscarriage history like you I would probably want to use IUD for a year or two prior to surgical decision. I wish you well emotionally and physically for whatever you decide.

memali26 · October 2013

This is it for us. We always said we'd take it one baby at a time, but knew we wanted at least two. After DD2 was born, DH was leaning towards being done and I went back and forth a lot before ultimately deciding I didn't feel done at two. I was trying to accept and be content with DH not really being on board with a third when we got this little surprise. We're both very excited about having another, but we know we are absolutely done after this one for many reasons. Now that we're expecting #3 I feel very content and like our family really will be complete in March.

We haven't made any plans for BC after this one yet. I'm very hesitant to do anything permanent as we're both only 29, but I also don't want to be on BC forever, so I'm leaning towards IUD or pill for a few years to be sure, then DH will probably get snipped.

recline84 · October 2013

We're done. Well, we were done with 2, and then got this happy surprise. So we're "really" done. DH is getting the big V in December when he's off work.

Andreabills · October 2013

This is my first pregnancy, but it has not been an easy one. I am high risk, my blood pressure has been elevated the entire time, and I think I may be done for good, but at least for a couple of years.

My youngest sister is adopted, so I have some experience with it...I don't feel any different about her than I do about my full blood sister. I think adoption is a great option if we want to have another child later.

I don't know, halfway through this pregnancy is not the time to make this permanent decision. I will probably get an IUD after she is born so that we can buy some time before we HAVE to make a final decision.

bumpuser9058414 · October 2013

@ceh789 did you bleed a lot with the copper IUD? I hate hormones but I have a friend who bled constantly with the copper IUD.

ceh789 · October 2013

Berry30 said:

@ceh789 did you bleed a lot with the copper IUD? I hate hormones but I have a friend who bled constantly with the copper IUD.

I bled a little less than usual but I believe I have heavier periods than many women normally. I had some spotting the first few months after insertion but after that it was back to pretty much normal.

matthew24 · October 2013

Me, me, me!! I had to be talked in to for a second at first then was on board. With a very long battle to get pregnant and now pregnant with twins I am over my max, lol. I am open if my feelings change but think with a 3 year old and twins we are good and done.

BrideNamedMeg · October 2013

This will be our third and we are 99.9% sure that this will be our last. If we lived in a bigger house and had unlimited funds, then we'd probably consider a 4th or maybe even 5th. I end up taking a lot of time away from my business when I'm having babies and it takes a year or more to really rebound because I'm losing word of mouth customers in the process, so that part is a little tough. Fortunately, we are big savers so it's not crushing, but I like it when my business is where I want it to be.

I am really hoping that we feel "done" after this baby and feel good about taking a more permanent BC solution. I will never go on hormonal BC again and I don't want an IUD, so it will likely be up to MH

I'll be 32 soon after this baby is born and DH will be 34, so while we are still on the younger side, we already have our kids and are kind of ready to move on from the baby stage.

ceh789 · October 2013

WickedNE said:

We have always been between 2 and 3. We both love the idea of a third (since we haven't experienced life with 2 yet, I can't say for sure) but I don't think it's in the cards for us. We have to pay for full time daycare, which is going to strap us down for awhile. The idea of this being my last pregnancy kind of makes me sad...so I'm leaving that door open. Plus, I always wanted a big family.

I'd just like to say that it's stupid that the cost of daycare keeps people from having as many kids as they want. I realize it's like being mad at wind, but I still think it's dumb.

bumpuser9058414 · October 2013

ceh789 said:

WickedNE said:

We have always been between 2 and 3. We both love the idea of a third (since we haven't experienced life with 2 yet, I can't say for sure) but I don't think it's in the cards for us. We have to pay for full time daycare, which is going to strap us down for awhile. The idea of this being my last pregnancy kind of makes me sad...so I'm leaving that door open. Plus, I always wanted a big family.

I'd just like to say that it's stupid that the cost of daycare keeps people from having as many kids as they want. I realize it's like being mad at wind, but I still think it's dumb.

Agreed. We had to space our kids out because we couldn't afford two in at once. DD will be going to public school in Aug/Sept after the baby is born. I'm actually a little scared of June/July/Aug when we'll have to pay for two at once.

aracelyluna · October 2013

I want 4 also. We have had an early loss with our first pregnancy but DS and this one so far have been good. So, that is not a swaying decision for us. We are the same age as OP and right now I know I want to wait longer between this one and #3 then with these two. My son and baby girl will be 2 yes apart, I want the next one at least 3 yrs from baby girl. After that we can decide if we want a 4th. I just need to figure out life with two before taking the leap.

dannie2011 · October 2013

I am so done. This is my 6th and my husbands second, he would like more I think but hes letting me make the choice as I'm the doing the work. I'm 40 and if I didn't react badly to a tubal I would do it again. He refuses to get snipped, and we are not even sure I could get pregnant again after all we went through with this one. I don't do well on BC so I'm going to have a long conversation with th doctor.

SmittyPants · October 2013

I'm done. This is our second. We know we're done because we really feel that we can give two children a good life emotionally and financially and give them the best of ourselves in terms of attention and patience. Plus, I never want to be pregnant again.

jessher · October 2013

This is #5 for me, but my first with dh. I haven't been pregnant for 11 years, and I felt CERTAIN after baby #4 that I was DONE. Things change.

I did have an IUD and I would highly recommend that to you as it allows you to put off any major decisions without any hassle. HOWEVER, as with any birth control, be aware that failures occur. I got pregnant with an IUD (Mirena) and then had a MMC at 12 weeks with that pregnancy.

angelsnight · October 2013

We might be, but at the very most we'd try for one more. This pregnancy has been very stressful, and while things are looking good, I won't breathe a sigh of relief until this one is home and in my arms. So if this pregnancy were to get even more difficult, like I'd have to take time off work and lose my job, this is probably it for us.

Plus, I'll be 35 a couple months after this LO is born, so at least 36 before we'll be ready to try again. I'm already high risk due to GD, PTL, and possible IC, I'm not sure I want to add AMA to that list. But we have always wanted at least two living children, and since this one is another girl, I can see MH wanting to try for a boy. So we won't know until this one is about a year old. If it feels right, and this pregnancy went pretty well, then maybe. But I have accepted that we may only end up with one child here with us, and while it does make me sad, my number one goal is to have at least one living child.

yalllow · October 2013

We are done after this one. I'm going to have the good ole' tubes tied up while they are in getting my baby boy

Kristen61607 · October 2013

I feel the same as you. I think I'm done with 3.....DH is SURE we're done....but we also said we were done after the twins then changed our mind when they turned 2!

We were going to take permanent measures after this one, but I'm starting to think an IUD might be a better option.

I'm treating this like my last pregnancy though.

Momstheword83 · October 2013

Me! Me! Me! I'm done at 2. I'm talking to my doctor at my next appointment about getting "fixed".

VineyardMel · October 2013

Assuming this one gets here safe and healthy we're done. I'll be 41 in January and we're out of time. In an ideal world I would have loved to have 3, but it just wasn't in the cards.

amandapthompson · October 2013

As long as this little boy gets here safe and sound, we are also done. This will make baby #2.
I didn't agree at all when DH said he was getting a vasectomy after this one. He was very adamant about it too which blew my mind bc he was the one insisting we have another baby.

After thinking about it long and hard I'm going to have to agree that this will be my last one. If I feel something is missing later on then we will look at fostering/adopting which is something that has been on my heart for several years.

babylimas · October 2013

This will be our second, but I strongly think we are done after this one. I really wanted a 3rd close, but I don't want to be pregnant again. I was miserable and it hurt our business. I just don't want to do it again. I might change my mind in a few years, but right now I'm finished. My H is totally cool with that. He has no desire for a big family.

ETA: We aren't making any permanent decisions. We talked about a V, but don't really see the need. We are good about keeping things under wrap.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

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mn27mommy · October 2013

We are done after this one. We already have one lil man and are okay if we either have a boy or a girl this time around. We had always discussed having two and feel that would work best for us. We always joke we cannot be outnumbered! Plus financially it just makes sense for us.

I don't know how you moms with more than two do it, I feel like I'm in for a rude awakening with another one coming soon! Kudos!

Donniesgrrl · October 2013

I think this may be it for us, we have 2 and with all the complications we are having this one so far, I think emotionally we are done. Although we always saw ourselves with 4, and if we are able to financially we may reconsider which is why I am getting an IUD after this one, it will give us some time to see how things go financially and otherwise and we can go from there.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

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teaforthree · October 2013

I had my daughter young, and by the time I reached 30 I still felt like I might (I was remarried by then), but also felt like DD was already so old, and to start from scratch again seemed so daunting, so I was always on the fence about it. But, now I'm 32 and it "just happened" and I am thrilled that the decision was made "for" me, so to speak. BUT, this is it! We don't have the space for any more, and don't want to have to send three kids to college. Plus, DD waited so long for a sibling, and this baby is really special to her. If I had one more after this, I feel like the younger two would grow up together and DD would not be as close. I'm really content with DD and this new LO, I just feel like it is meant to be this way.

YankeePeach08 · October 2013

We are probably done...I know DH is.

When we first got married we talked about having 2 kids, although I always said I would like more, 2 was a number we could agree on (DH didn't want more and I didn't want less).

After DS was born DH said he was content but if I wanted more we could have 1 more.

Surprise...twins...I WIN

) When we found out it was twins I was happy that we would get three but felt alittle overwhelmed and was pretty sure I was content being done.

But now that I'm past the halfway point, feel great and have had no complications or restrictions i don't want to be done. I LOVE being pregnant...I love baby kicks and maternity clothes, I love the way old people get excited for you even though they don't know you...I just love it.

We are not taking any permanent precautions b/c if God forbid something did happen to one of our children I would want the option to have more. Also, if God forbid something happened to DH and I were to re-marry I want more kids.

All that being said, I do believe it is in the best interest of our children at this moment to not have anymore. I feel like we can provide a very comfortable lifestyle for them now and while it will be hectic at times, I can't picture throwing a 4th in there down the road (I think that would cause total chaos).

I will be 33 right after the twins are born so that is also that we will most likely be done. And I may want to re-join the work force at some point so that is a thought as well.

OP - If i were you I would just do an IUD for the time being adn re-evaluate later.

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