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March 2013 Moms
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hubby out of town

honeydew01honeydew01 member
edited October 2013 in March 2013 Moms
DD is almost 8 months old and this is the first time DH has gone away (work related) and I feel like a baby myself. I feel sad, nervous and worried for some reason. I mean I take care of DD all the time, I am a SAHM so I don't know why but I feel nervous that he's not coming home tonight for dinner.

It probably doesn't help that yesterday (DH was still here) DD took two wonderful 90 minute naps and so far today nap 1 was a disaster and she cried before she passed out for nap 2 and given it's only noon she really needs a third nap which she has been refusing in the past week or so...sigh.

I don't know the point of this post, I guess just venting.
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Re: hubby out of town

  • honeydew01honeydew01 member
    and nap 2 was a 30 min nap followed by crying. lord have mercy on me.
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  • lars1226lars1226 member
    It is hard to be alone, even for a few days. My husband used to travel a lot for work, he was gone 2 weeks out of every month. I would plan one outing every day to meet up with a friend or family member or just to go somewhere to be around other people. It was silly but for me even just going to target and talking to a cashier was nice. Good luck, hope the naps go better!
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  • honeydew01honeydew01 member
    thanks!
    I just put her down for the night and I feel really nervous that she'll wake up A LOT tonight. She totally knows daddy isn't around. At dinner, she kept turning her head all the way and looking at the kitchen from the high chair. I even turned the kitchen light off, she kept looking and thinking he'll come out..She was super clingy, like I could not put her down for 2 seconds, she'd start crying immediately. She's rarely like this. The only other time I've seen her like this was when she had her 6 month vaccination.

    DH also does her baths every night but starting a week ago I started doing it so it's not a huge change for her..He was still around though to say goodnight and she was looking for him after her bath..It's amazing to me that at 8 months she totally knows!

    I'm totally praying for the best tonight..well and tomorrow, and the next day..until Wednesday when he'll be back.
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  • saraennssaraenns member
    Its funny but i can relate. Hubs has hockey at night often and i get nervous about being on call for her...if she wakes up, is fussy, wont sleep etc... I'm with her all the time , but night feels different. When hes away even for one night i kind of dread it. Knowing your the only one feels heavy. I dont know how single parents do it.
    Hang in there...u r not alone :)
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  • honeydew01honeydew01 member
    I don't know how single parents do it either. Things like this makes me have much more respect for them or for those whose DH travel a lot for work. I feel like a chicken tonight. :(

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  • saraennssaraenns member
    The great thing is.... u CAN handle it. And probably well, too :) You got this!! The confidence is slowly building...its only been a feq months being a parent. Take it hour by hour ( and enlist helpers when u can) ;p
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  • luvbug6315luvbug6315 member
    My Dh works away from home, gone m-f. It was a hard adjustment for me. Of course it didn't help that we've been going through teething hell. She is always cling central and I can hardly put her down. Cooking dinner is super hard and usually ends up being crockpot meal that I can eat for sev. Days. Hope your nights go well.
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  • Jbunny100Jbunny100 member
    My husband travels a lot for work.  Plan to get out once a day for sure.  Even if you are just driving around seeing a new area of town.  At night try to think of things that will make you feel happy once LO is down for the night.  I try to watch a show or part of a chick flick at night once I have dinner.  There are times when my DS won't go down until late.  I used to fight it and end up not having dinner until 9 or 10pm.  I realized it was better for me to just give up and have him in the kitchen with me while I make dinner.  Also, go for easy frozen meals if you know LO is going to have a hard time getting down for the night.  Hang in there.  You can totally do this!

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  • honeydew01honeydew01 member
    Thanks guys you are all awesome!
    I totally broke down sobbing today. Last night she woke up A LOT. It's like she forgot how to sleep. She can't get comfortable. She kept moving every few minutes until she'd get stuck to the edge of the crib and then freak out. I'd go in, try to calm her, nurse her, put her back, half an hour later, same deal.

    Today's nap have been repeat of yesterday. Cry, pass out 30 minutes, cry. This is totally not her. I swear my DH must have taken my good napping baby with him. On Saturday she took 2, 90 minute naps! I feel like we are back to newborn stage..I don't know if she's acting up because she senses something is off or she's teething or what the deal is..

    I got out yesterday evening, got food take out and came home. I had no appetite to eat it..:(


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  • smfdjosmfdjo member
    Hang in there mama you know it is temporary.  
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  • RibbitGrl930RibbitGrl930 member
    I think your anxiety is stemming from being everything for the next few days. Even as a SAHM, you typically expect DH to walk through the door and provide some assistance then and during the night. While he's away, though, everything is on you. Do you have any close friends or family nearby that you coukd reach out to to spell you briefly in case you need a break or run an errand withiut LO in tow? That may do a lot to just ease your mind to know that you have a little bit of help if you need it. It can be overwhelming to have to be everything.
     
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  • honeydew01honeydew01 member
    Not really I don't have many friends here and the ones I know work full time so by the time they'd be able to come over to help DD is down for the night..and family wise there is my MIL who lives 1.5 hour away and every time she comes over it takes DD 3 hours to be okay with her...
    She's not nursing well at all since yesterday so I am really worried. She's just holding onto the boob and playing with it instead of sucking it. She has done these nursing strikes before and now I don't know if this is her reacting to her dad being gone, or she teething or what the deal is..
    I slept 3 hours last night..she woke up so many times with the final wake up at 5:30 am..walking zombie here..


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  • MrsG071809MrsG071809 member
    I know this is much easier said than done, but I would try really hard to lower your anxiety about the whole situation - LO may be reading your energy and that could be part of the problem.  Just focus on the fact that DH is coming home, and try to relax.  Again, I know it's not easy to do, but I am a big believer that babies read our energy and sometimes just calming myself down helps to calm DD down.
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  • saraennssaraenns member
    He'll be home soon. One more day? Almost done :)
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  • mpalmateer7mpalmateer7 member
    I agree with MrsG071809- your anxiety might be helping to keep LO keyed up. My DH works 70+ hours a week, has meetings at least once a week, and goes out of town once a month... DS was just over a month when he left for a week! I used to get anxious and emotional- very badly! But now, I know that even though I'm NOT a single mom, I am COMPLETELY capable of being one! Instead of stressing about him not being around, I focus on what I CAN do by myself, which by now, is absolutely everything! Of course I still have some rough days/nights alone, but I know that come what may- I can deal with it. It was a challenging learning experience, but taught me so much about myself, my son, and being a mom!
    Take a deep breath, crack open a bottle of wine, leave the dirty dishes, and catch up on some reading. Before you know it, DH will be home, and the next time this happens you'll know it'll all be okay!!! :D

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  • honeydew01honeydew01 member
    Thank you guys you are all so awesome! It's nice to have this board and vent it out. It did help!

    To update: DH got back yesterday. And guess what DD napped like a champion yesterday too. It could be a coincidence? I don't know. But the 4 days he was gone she only did 30 minute naps with much crying. The thing is DH works and isn't home until dinner time so I don't know how she'd know the difference but I guess she did. I was sorta actually waiting for her to do the same 30 minute naps thinking this is our new normal and she slept for freaking 2 hours! The last time she napped for 2 hours was hmm I don't remember!! I don't know if it's a coincidence or not..I guess I'll know when he is gone again next month. I swear I feel like I'm dealing with 2 totally different babies.

    Also, she babbled yesterday! We were getting so worried that she wasn't babbling much. Yesterday she went on and on and on..like she was singing a song...the last few days all I heard was crying and screaming. not a single babble.

    DH was sleeping when she woke up from her nap and I took her to our bed where she could uncover the sheet and see daddy. She just grinned and then started touching his face with her hands. It was like she was saying "is it really you? you're back daddy!!" :) It was super sweet.

    Wow it was a learning experience for sure. Now we get to repeat it in November when he'll be gone for work for a longer period...

    Thank you all for your support.
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  • MrsG071809MrsG071809 member
    that is so sweet, and glad to hear you survived! :)  Hopefully round 2 in November will be much better for you both, now that you know you CAN do it.
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  • RibbitGrl930RibbitGrl930 member
    So glad you made it through. It does sound like LO was picking up on your anxiety and finally relaxed when you were able to. Good to know you can survive being on your own for when he has to go away again!
     
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